In retrospect, I have always been dominant in one way or another. I did not know how I could use this emotion in my daily life. For many reasons, there was no room in my life, or desire to act on this need. However, the longing was always there. Nearly four years ago, I met by chance, the man in my life. In fact it was in an SM club where I had been a member for about 5 months. Here I will describe how our journey, with no destination, has been so far, and my thoughts have been and are.
And Fantasee.. I will read every word and cherish it.. Im lucky to sleep beside you and I will continue to satisfy your every need whenever you want me to. I already miss you dear mistress..
The feeling of love, and the feeling of meeting a man, where I could be all of me, was so overwhelming, that I had an urge to run away screaming, the problem was, that I could not do that without breaking my heart to pieces. It has, so far, been a journey both in and out of my minds secret places. We are now at a point where we've tried a lot. Bondage, pins, E-stim, and much more. I am not in a place (and hope that I will never be) where I want to test limits, just to test limits, but I am where I have been all the time, the place where I enjoy seeing my loved being seduced into my needs and my needs will be his.
In the period, when I was a member of an SM club, I often met dominant males, and there position amazed mig. A lot of them ment that a dominant woman, only was dominant because she had not yet met a real man. I always came to laugh or giggle )) how stupid can people be? The attitude was also that a slave is not a real man. I've thought many times about where that attitude comes from. In my oppinion a real man is a man who stands by himself, proudly and without shame. Regarding the attitude towards a Dominant woman. I've seen that attitude many times. When I was in a period dating, and we're talking dating in vanilla, I apparently scared some men, because they had an idea that women are small and cute and a little unsure of themself? The first night I meet my slave, I meet a well educated hansome man. We talk together and I will be honest, I remember almost nothing of the conversation, only the pictures in my head ... I want to kiss him, I want raw sex with him, I want him sitting in front of me in my collar, I want to sleep beside him, I want to go hand in hand with him on the beach .... I want him.
A thought has been running in circles in my mind today ... I want to tie, fixate and blindfold my slave tonight ... and do a needle corset on his chest ... then I will put the e-stim on his nipple piercings, and watch him writhe and moan of pleasure ... Then I will take him with my fist and just the thought of it while I kiss the skin on his groin will be an amazing intense experience ... been there ... done that ...
I believe that she is talking about me. She has just kindly asked me to prepare for the evening so I guess I wont be able to contribute to the forum any more tonight. :yes1: See you all tomorrow
Tonight..... I feel very dominant... It has been a long day, with booring work that had to be done... you know... accounts and mails... I need an accounting slave... any one? Now I sit and relaxe with a glass of wine, with our 2 collie hunde and candles lit. RubberDuckDK is reading for an exame, and has been all day... later this evening, I will take what is mine We are in one of our our shops, which include a private section, where we stay for normaly two days at a time because there is a greater distance between the stores. I always pack items selected for whatever iss needed, according to my pleasure at that time. This time, it is e-stim and anal play that is mainly in my head. I also asked him to pack a strapon for him to wear for my pleasure... and only that, because his tongue and hands are offcourse always present... We are talking about maby purchase a new house, perhaps a mansion, to get more space for privacy and more space for an SM room. Now we have almost 300 square meters, but neighbors very close by. I want to be able to walk naked around without anybody watching
Thank you for sharing your history with us Fantasee, I agree with your opinion - a submissive male can be a real man. It can be difficult to reconcile these seemingly opposite positions. Lucky Ducky!
valsboy, there are many real men like us who are submissive...we just seem to be in the minority here in the Mansion.
Thank you MW Our life has again been extremely busy, but yesterday, the eldest of the children moved in to her own apartment. I am both worried and happy. The youngest is at a boarding school. A specile kind we have in Denmark, where you can only stay from you're 15 until you are 18, so now we are only two of us, as well as dogs and cats. It allows RubberDuck to wear his collar when he is home, and the clothes I give him orders to wear. So I enjoy the freedom to do as we feel like and I will post how it goes...
Well I am also worried and happy. Also because we have the house on our own but primarily because I got collared yesterday and dont think it will be removed any time soon. That makes me worried and happy, but mostly happy She will manage moving away from home and fortunately we are still only a phome call away and she is determined to prove that she is mature enough. It will work out just fine. Mistress, I look forward to us having some time on our own without any stress and to endulge in each other.
Yea! Freedom! But not for you RubberDuck! I'm sure your eldest will manage just fine Fantasee. Of course you will still worry, but I believe your journals are going to become hot reads from hereon as your lifestyle moves to yet another level. I'm so pleased for you both. Take care my friends.
I sit here on the couch ... a glass of wine and fire place ... nice and warm and full of pleasure and no stress ... RubberDuck with collar and chastity belt and high heels that are locked with a padlock. In addition, he has cuffs which is locked with a chain locked to a waist belt. He makes dinner as steaks and fried mushrooms, which I have chosen. Later, we will enjoy dinner and each other .... More will follow later ...
Valsboy: Thank so much for your wishes. And yes.. I will probably continue worring but it is always good when life takes steps forward and this is a huge step. i wonder where this will bring us. Fantasee: I hope you enjoyed dinner and my attire. I guess there is still some work in learning to walk in the heels. I look forward to serving you and giving you what you want and hope my belt and collar can stay on for a long time. Tonight is your night, dear..
Great thread and thank you for sharing your life with us. It sounds very inviting. thank you for this. I get so tired of the stereo types society puts on men and women. A woman who allows herself to be a submissive is said to be week and man who is not dominate is said to be flawed, it's all crap to me. I think a "submissive" man or woman should be respected for their mind and be allowed to use their mind and a Dominate should be respected for their willingness to stand where others fear to do so. One day we will see the light of day where people are judged for who they are internally and not what we see externally.
chastityslavejohn I feel for you. I have two little ones so it will be some time before we ever get to the point where are pushing them out. But even now I think sometimes of the days before they blessed us where we could run and go where ever we wanted, when ever we wanted, for what ever reason. And did I mention Goddess loved to walk around in the buff most of the time. Wow those were the days. Of course that is what most likely led to where we are today LOL
xcitex2... I agree.... also there is a problem with Dominant women, because many feel that it is not feminine to be direct. Here in Denmark, is an old saying: Do not think that you are something. I've done a lot of thinking about Chastity belt .... when RubberDuck have it on, then I have the same feeling as him.... that I want it on him, and I wish at the same time to take it off. The only difference is that I have the key, and thus must have a lot of self control. We are still working way too much, so because of that, I have been quite fore a while. After christmas we have planned to take a few days of work, and it might feel strange, because we have worked for 2 years without more than to days of, and then there have been a lot of other things we had to do. This time, its just wacation Whish you all a merry christmas
to bad, that here stopped everything ... would be great to get more but looks like, this dominant women lost her position. this is okay for both, no problem. I would miss it ... if I would be able to live it