It's the journey, not the destination

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by timeofmylife, Mar 17, 2014.

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  1. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    10:40 PM 2014-03-10
    Today I finally got up the nerve to share my orgasm denial fetish with my lady love, and now I wish I had done it years ago. I could kick myself. It went so well - it was a breeze, really.

    My wife and I have great sex together, but I'm the one with most of the kinks in this relationship. I've tried out a couple of chastity devices in her absence, but didn't have the nerve to share them with her. If this sounds like you, read on.

    This evening I simply told her I had picked up a new sex toy, and before I could tell her what it was, she pulled out my cock and began stroking it. Then I showed her the device (a stainless steel cage from China) and explained how it fit together. She was very interested! By then it was no longer possible to fit the cage over my cock, so she tucked me back in my pants and left me to go away and try putting it on later, which I did. When I returned wearing the device and handed her the keys, she grabbed them eagerly - really! - with the words "I could keep you locked up forever"! Yes! I couldn't believe it! That was just so easy - I'm almost in shock!

    We'll have sex tonight, of that I am sure. I predict she'll let me out so we can fuck, though of course I want her to get used to *not* letting me out. Unfortunately she gets her most satisfying orgasms from having my dick inside her. I hope to find a work-around for that.

    In the meantime, all is going according to fantasy. This could be the beginning of a new phase of our lives. Our sex lives, at least. I just had to share this with you in case some of you are hanging back out of fear of seeming ridiculous or some other reason. Take hope and take courage. I don't know how long this will last but I'll keep you posted.
     
  2. Sunny
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    Sunny Long term member

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    Same here. My wife enjoys penetrative sex only. We have it once or twice a week. She releases me after foreplay, we have sex, and immediately she locks me again. I don't get to play with my cock at all.
    Don't worry, having a penetrative sex will not reduce the fun & excitement of chastity. Soon she'll realize on her own that taking oral sex from you is more exciting and gradually your denial period will increase.
    All the best!!
     
  3. PauloChaste
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    PauloChaste Living the chaste life

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    My wife used to only want penetrative sex but then a few years ago I purchased a chin dildo! This initially made her laugh! Once we had given it a go she was no longer laughing!
    Using that was my first step in the direction of denial/chastity Now she prefers me between her thighs with the chin dildo!
     
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  4. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Yes, if you don't ask you don't get :)
     
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  5. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    My wife initially would not have penetrative sex with me, without having me to cum. It did not feel right to her - she said....
    Penetrative sex was down to the on release I was allowed pr. month...

    Instead she turned up the frequency of demanding oral service.

    Well, she has changed her mind..... (I guess she needed her cock after all...)
    Now I am ordered - when the mood strikes - to serve her penetration , - but absolutely no cuming for me.

    Afterwards she will swipe her juices of the shaft, and have me lick her fingers clean...
    She is so sweet....
    I have been "upgraded" to at least 60 days between release, so I guess I will at one point struggle hard not to cum along the way... She says that she is looking forward to witness the struggle.

    So much for not feeling right about it - lol!!

    My rare releases used in fact to be from penetrative sex, - but she will not allow me to cum deep inside her any more. More or less only on her pussy lips and hood. "It makes it easier for You to lick it all up, If you don't go deep when You cum..."

    Magnificent jorney....!
     
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  6. MistressBitch
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    MistressBitch Long term member

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    she, like me, has discovered the huge benefits of not letting you cum. At first, I used to stress when my man didnt cum, thinking that if he came with me, he wouldnt want to play alone. It transpires he played alone regardless. Now he never cums, he is allowed penetration but not climax, and it is wonderful. He is now nearly 3 months. His last was Dec 27th, you can work the maths out if you want. WE also have to be careful whether his on top or not, he REALLY struggles not to cum when he is on top, but then he generally struggles when he is inside me full stop. Its even better if I play with his nipples, if i want him to really struggle i play with them as much as i can, if I want him to carry on, i leave his nipples alone .....
     
  7. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    @MistressBitch , - Sorry but my nipples has never been that sensitive;-) - But she know another "secret weapon" that she has rediscovered - that I have a very VERY sensitive spot ( You may laugh of this )
    in center on the back side of my upper lip. ( I have rather big soft kissable lips -according to her.:))
    Yes, - strange as it may sounds, - there is a direct connection between this spot and - her cock. It almost sets me off, - and in the past it used to bring my to there edge in no time..
    Maybe I was so fortunate that I have been equipped with not one but two sweet spots ( normally - as you would know, the normal placement of the sweet spot is where there the frenum meets the glance of the cock.)
    Maybe I am the male equivalent of Linda Lovelace - lol!!! ( You may still laugh, - cause it is rather funny)

    She is kind and cruel when she licks me there when I - rarely as it happens is on top, having penetrative sex...

    And You are oh so right....
    I have a big home office/studio - ( I work as an art director ) And that allows me to do a lot of chores in-between.
    I manage the laundry, - the shopping, the cleaning, the preparations for dinner, ( I will cook for her later) - Buying fresh flowers and her favorite magazines, chocolate etc. etc. and greets her when she comes home, with her favorite ginger thea, - and a nice foot massage...
    I have brushed my teeth , shaved my face, and I smell nice - for her...
    If she is to require oral service later my day has been complete...

    So yes, - seems to be tremendous power in not being able to cum....:)

    One question for You:
    I sense very much that she has found a side of her self, where she not only acts as being superior - to gain her discovered benefits, - but she has come to the conclusion that she is superior - and she is entitled to any service from my,- without having to pay it back. Feeling no pitty fort me. Does not have to struggle with her conscience.
    ( And she is oh so right!! - and I love to have witness this development, - cause it makes this lifestyle so much more permanent)
    Was it the same with You, - a transition, - or did it happen in another way?

    Sincerly...
     
  8. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    3:54 PM 2014-03-11 - DAY 1

    Last night went as I expected. We had a long bout of great sex, with me locked in my cage. She even put her finger in my anus (her idea!) and teased me mercilessly - she really enjoys teasing me. She joked about going to sleep and leaving me locked in without satisfaction, which I would have liked to try. Instead though she let me out (as I had predicted) and we had more great sex ending with strong orgasms for both of us. Afterwards I thought of locking myself back in right away, but I didn't.

    This morning I put the cage back on. She has the keys, somewhere. We have been home together all day, and she keeps coming around and feeling my caged cock. She understands the teasing part but I'm not sure if she's really into it, or just amused by it. She says my caged cock is "cute". She says she isn't turned on by the hardness of the steel cage - she likes the soft feel of flesh. I've been mildly aroused all day. I'm going out to a meeting this evening - she thinks I will want the cage removed for going out, but I'm going to stay caged.
     
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  9. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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  10. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Said it before: Start pampering her with chores - only when You're are locked up, cherish her with gifts - only when You are locked up, Offer her massages - only when You are etc... You get the picture.
    She can't help linking all the services and devotion to lock-up time, - and that will must likely be the game changer You are looking for:)
    And along the way you will change you're entire mindset, -and will come to really love doing all those things for her...:)
     
  11. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    Sounds like a plan, BlueEyes!
     
  12. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    @BlueEyes your lifestyle sounds heavenly. Do give my regards to your Mistress.
    As for your question (do excuse me butting in). I have always felt superior. ;)
     
  13. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    You are welcome, - and good luck:)
     
  14. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    I will:), - and hopefully she will join in on CM soon! She seems to enjoy catching up on my posts and others more and more...
    And thanks - yes, I enjoy this lifestyle tremendously. Even if she just gives me a sweet smile in return for my services, - I am more than gratified:)

    And for your reply to my question - Why did I even ask???;-);-)

    Have a great day... - Time to check on the tumble dryer:)
     
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  15. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    3:21 PM 2014-03-12 - DAY 2

    Last night in bed she was feeling me and we were both horny. My wearing the device has noticeably increased the horniness level of both of us. After a while I asked her if she would like me to give her a nipple orgasm. She said yes, and so I did, and she was satisfied even though we did not fuck. This was unusual because normally she would want to have a penetration orgasm, not a nipple orgasm. She enjoys her nipple orgasms but they don't fully satisfy her. She wanted to let me out of the cage for sleeping but I did not accept her offer. I drifted off to sleep still aroused and horny in my cage. She did not understand why I would be happy to do that, but even so she is being delightfully co-operative so far and I am very grateful for that. I'm still living a dream come true.

    Today she is still very into teasing my cock. She has left the house for a while to attend to some matters and I wonder if she is thinking about my caged cock.
     
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  16. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    12:05 PM 2014-03-13 - DAY 3

    I'm now past 48 hours continuously locked in, and she is tolerating it well so far. Last night we had sex again and I was concerned that she would let me out, but to my relief she didn't. She understands what I want from this even if she doesn't understand why I want it. Once again she put her finger in my anus - she knows how much that teases me. She also inserted a butt plug into me, a rare treat. She offered me anything I wanted. We had good sex but she did not orgasm and of course neither did I. She remains uncomprehending as to why I don't want to have an orgasm.

    She is concerned about the well-being of my genitals being locked up constantly. In trying to understand my own cravings I am starting to realize that erection control and orgasm control are two different things though they come packaged together.

    I would like to get to where I feel confident in knowing she will leave me locked in - some kind of agreement. I am thinking of proposing an agreement that I be locked in for a week straight, with penalty additions if she lets me out early to please herself. That would balance my desire for prolonged, tantalizing and frustrating sex coupled with long periods of sexual restriction, and her desire to feel my penis and my orgasm inside her.

    When we talk she says things like "I might never let you out", but I don't think she realizes how much I want to shout "Yes! Please!" She is leaving the keys out in plain view but I would like her to lock them away and hide them (or alternatively to wear them). She acknowledges that we've been awfully sexy lately. I just hope she won't tire of this and I think as long as the sex remains really good, she won't.
     
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  17. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    6:24 PM 2014-03-13 - DAY 3 (2)

    She has gone out for a few hours. Before she left I suggested she shouldn't leave the keys around where I can get at them when she is not home. She took my point and locked the keys in her filing cabinet, I think, which I can't get into. I hope she'll be thinking of me while she is out.
     
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  18. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    10:57 AM 2014-03-14 - DAY 4

    Pillow talk this morning:
    "When your husband gives you the keys to his cock, that really shows a lot of trust. I love it (snuggle)."
    "I've been locked in for almost 3 days now."
    "I know." (She's counting too?)
    "My goal now is to go for a week."
    "I'll help you." (I love her!)
     
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  19. OwnedByAmy
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    OwnedByAmy Long term member

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    That is so sweet and awesome! :)
     
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  20. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    10:41 PM 2014-03-14 - DAY 4 (2)

    Today I broached the idea that in order to balance her desire for access to my cock with my own desire for sexual restriction, we could consider having a plan. I suggested maybe we could agree to a lockup period of a week, but that she could release me for her pleasure whenever she wanted.

    "Of course, then, there would have to be some sort of ..." I began.

    "Penalty!" she interjected (she likes to complete my thoughts).

    Besides the unsettling fact that she know the exact word I was going to use, I was just thrilled at where she was going with that line of thought.
     
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  21. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    3:47 PM 2014-03-15 - DAY 5

    She totally gets my desire to be teased. Last night in bed she was asking what would please me. I think she would do anything. I would like her though to do whatever she wants, even play games with my mind, not just do what pleases me, though it's sweet of her to ask.

    I think she is holding back her orgasms, perhaps out of empathy with me, or maybe she has decided that if orgasm denial works for me then she wants to try it too. Of course I want her to just climax freely and often.

    My week is more than half over (and does the time ever pass slowly. It doesn't feel like I've been locked in for 4 days; it feels more like 4 weeks.) I wonder if she will take the cage off when the week is done, or make me stay in longer. It could go either way.
     
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  22. OwnedByAmy
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    OwnedByAmy Long term member

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    Staying in longer would be fun!
     
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  23. timeofmylife
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    10:22 AM 2014-03-17 - DAY 7

    Last night was interesting. As we were making love my wife suggested the butt plug for me again. She knows I love being anally penetrated. I then asked her if she would like one too, and she totally surprised me by answering yes. This is not like her. She very rarely accepts a finger in her anus (which I really love giving) and anything larger than a finger is too uncomfortable for her. The last time I tried a small butt plug on her she did not enjoy it and asked me to take it out. That was years ago. But in the meantime I had purchased an even smaller, softer plug to use on her if the opportunity ever arose again, and now was the time. She filled me up with the medium-size plug, and after fingering her anally for a few minutes I carefully inserted the little plug. She was loving the whole experience, lying on her tummy, gradually tilting her butt higher and higher. For me it was heaven.

    The bliss was cut short when she noticed that my balls had escaped from the device! This was something we were not expecting at all, but there was no denying it. She got up to go and get the key in another room (accidentally expelling the little plug in the process) so she could undo the ring and lock me back in again. I was very proud of her for that because I know she would have loved to have just got a good fuck instead. Still, she returned with the key and opened the lock. She removed the ring while I held the cage in place around my cock, then I rounded up the twins and got everything back together, and she locked me back in again. It must have gone against her grain to do that but she didn't complain. What a woman! She said she'd help me reach my week and she's sticking to it.

    That pretty much put an end to the sex for the night, but before we drifted off she confided that she wants to be fucked with the butt plug in her. Oh god, that is so much my fantasy I just can't believe it. That is on the short list of things I want to do with her and now she is asking for it. Can this get any better?

    This morning I asked her if she is considering a penalty for my balls escaping last night. "Oh, yes!" she said, "but I'm not going to tell you what it will be." So I'm expecting a penalty but I have no idea what it will be. I do believe she's getting into this game now and I love it - and her.
     
  24. timeofmylife
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    timeofmylife Member

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    9:06 PM 2014-03-18 - DAY 8

    She promised to help me reach a week locked in, and now it's almost half a day over the week, and she hasn't said a thing about releasing me. Has she just lost track of the days? Or is she deliberately playing a mind game with me? I don't know the answer, but I do hope she's doing this on purpose!

    4:41 PM 2014-03-19 - DAY 9

    So last night I reminded her that my (self-imposed) week in the cage was done, and I think maybe she just hadn't been keeping track - it wasn't her idea after all - or maybe she just wasn't ready to release me when the week was up. But she said she thought 9 days would be long enough, and she would release me tonight.

    I think she probably will release me for a really good fuck, but I can't be sure. If we go to bed tired or something she could easily decide to leave it for another day. In any case the next steps are all up to her and I can only wait and see where things go from here.

    11:42 PM 2014-03-19 - DAY 9 (2)

    We're both working late and somewhat weary, so we decided to put off my "coming out" until a more suitable time.
     
  25. timeofmylife
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    2:21 PM 2014-03-21 - DAY 11

    Last night my wife had me insert my caged cock into her pussy as far as I could, which I guess is not more than an inch, and fuck her as much as it was possible to do so. Of course that was very tantalizing for me, and she certainly enjoyed it too (though not to the point of orgasm). Later as we lay together she pressed her bum into my cock and we stayed like that (a favourite position of ours) for a long time. Although she had told me earlier on that the feel of the steel cage didn't do anything for her, I wonder if she is appreciating it more now, or if she is just teasing me. I suspect it's some of both.
     
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