Rage After 10ish days?

The effects of orgasm denial seem to be as varied as the people who practice it.

I can't offer any suggestions, what I can say is that I don't think you are alone in this type of reaction. I have a friend who encounters a similar issue, he's a switch and finds that his dominant side grows quite strong after he's been in chastity for a while.

 

Communication and honesty are the most important things to practice.

 

Rather than waiting for several answers why not try and see how it pans out

 

Sounds to me like you’re using your “rage” to top your FwB from the bottom.

You asked him to lock you up, but then you make him give you orgasms every week… but you’d be okay with a weekly milking instead…

You didn’t go into specifics about how you manifest this rage, but I think at the first sign of whatever it is you’re doing, your friend should hand you the keys and quit playing the game.

 

You’re not alone, I feel like I have 1 or 2 days about 7-10 days after I’m allowed an O where I get kind of pissy and generally become more cynical. But it’s only for that time frame and then immediately after I slip into a pleasant submissive behavior and stays that way while I’m locked. Although the bad mood doesn’t always happen and seems to occur less with time it’s a bummer when it comes on. It’s definitely a chemical thing in my opinion because I have no reason to feel that way when I break it down logically.

I think the best way to break that behavior is to be conscious of it when it happens and force yourself to suppress acting on the false emotions because you know it’s only a byproduct of being locked up. Push yourself through it the next time it happens, I get to this point when I’m entering extended lock time where I get a kind of low level high and in the right submissive headspace.

 

I have the same Issue. I do have anger management issues and have to be entirely cognizant and aware at all times or I can fly off. Most of my friends and my wife and kids would describe me as controled at all times and would be totally suprised to ever see me get angery. Our problem with the chastity game is that we have much different expectations and my wife thinks/ belives that everything she reads on the site about tractability and being submissive will come to pass( her version of "play" is to lock it up and forget about it ). It hasn't worked for us since I feel the rage build. I have not found that at any time is "goes away " on its own, only builds. Our main disagreement is to me its a sex game and to her she would like to see some of the behaviors that other people write about. Its interesting that when I think about getting into a submissive head space or read about others diving into submission, it triggers feeling of anger. Not a judgement of others, just a statement of what I have experienced.

 

My fiance, as part of my FLR contract decided on permanent chastity, with release at her whim, about two months ago now. We had played with chastity in controlled doses up until then.

I have depression, and work as an alpha type in a construction job irl, and also find myself a bit too ragey to manage when it gets too long. I have a high libido and very active imagination, and in those moments I try to remind myself that I play with this stuff is for fun, foreplay, and stress relief.

But managing that angry stuff, is definitely difficult, but part of the experience. Learning to control it is not at all easy. Good luck.

 

I’ve suffered with this also, the frustration can be relentless, Milking might help, but I think you have to just push past it as well, it can take time but you can get there.

 

Try to handle frustration for some more time, it usually takes couple of weeks for me to go back to usual self after having an orgasm. Might be different for you though.

 

It's only you who can change that, it's a process than many have gone through.
You need to fixate on your partner's pleasure, try to be that submissive to them that you crave.
Thinking about it is the first stage, but not enough, you have to actually do those chores, give your partner oral, rub their neck, shoulders, feet, make the meals, fetch them drinks, whatever gives them pleasure.
Before long, their pleasure becomes your pleasure, which has many effects...
- they get the benefits,
- you become more content at them being happy with you,
- you become more submissive, which gives them the space to become more dominant.
- love grows between you, with you both giving what the other needs.

I've discussed this often in this forum, but not thought before about anger management benefits, which I would expect it should have a positive effect. If you are giving pleasure, and feeling loved from doing that, both of those pleasures should reduce your feelings of anger.

 

I'm definitely shorter of temper after a couple of weeks without orgasm. Increased sex hormones will definitely make you more aggressive and confrontational, it's just evolutional biology.

 

It is a good and fair point if that is your mindset. I am not a submissive and have no desire to be so to anyone so I am addressing this issue from that point of view. I am fully open to the play aspect but can't go down the lifestyle aspect. I do focus on my partners pleasure but not as you describe above. Anger has many different forms from something as mild and insideous as being bitchy to full blown violence. I think the milder forms can be controled through education but the more extreme issues require a number of different approches centered around self control and self awareness. I'll be honest, If the above things were EXPECTED chores, I'd be pissed off. They are all things I would do on my own. The minute it became an order or demand, the anger would start. My wife understands this and it is how we work. Everytime she has tried the dominant thing it has been unsucessful( outside the area of play).

 

I had a job where violence was a common occurance and even though intelectually I didn't like it, I had to adapt and to some extent found an outlet. There was a period on self discovery to learn self control. It sounds like you are on your way to mastery and may be able to subjugate your feelings into a positive form of frustration which could be a lot of fun for you and your partner.

 

Yep, I’ve been there as well, for me it seems my time frame keeps getting extended before feeling the emotions. At the start around 3-4 days, then seemed to be a week, now I’m almost to the point of regretting my excepting an orgasm since it takes so long to get that frustrated tense anger feeling flowing again.