I rarely ever set a goal up front. It usually works better to set small goals and add to it. But I think I need to reboot and be chaste/denied for about 100 days which would be all the way to the fall. My habits and drive have not been good. My mood hasn’t been great. I lost about 40 pounds a few years ago and kept it off until this year. I gained about half of it back. I love to run and have some major running events later this year. I previously made it to about 100 days when my wife was expecting. We don’t have that kind of event going on now, but I really need a reboot. It will take much self discipline. My last ruined orgasm was about 5 days ago. PIV was about 12 days ago. So it would be like 95 days to go from today. So, here we go. I might report back in a week that I failed, or I might get in a groove. I really need a groove.
i was thinking more like “tuck and run” but I catch your drift. lol. The big thing right now is I have to be accountable about my own choices versus “wife denying me”.
I'm interested in how you would handle orgasm denial if your wife isn't denying you? Say you have PIV sex, won't she question why you aren't cumming? Or is she participating but not denying you?
She knows I have a denial kink, so she’s not going to push it most of the time if I don’t want to orgasm. The last time we had sex, the PIV lasted a little while but she finished with a ruined hand job. I wish we were having lots of sex I was going to give up, but we are in a little rut anyway. We can be creative. The key is me “holding off” versus making her tell me “no”. I have to go in with mindset of not finishing
She is participating but I have to look at this as “self denial” for moment. She’s a little indifferent except in heat of moment.
Update - Day 7 - this wasn’t a fun week but it has kept me away from temptation. I need to keep focus. My weight has leveled off and started to slowly go down after being off track most of the last 6 months.
It takes high motivation to achieve that first 100days all the more when the partner is indifferent and could not be bothered.. “so?”… Salute has to be accorded to you for such an attempt.. go ahead.. go for the acclaim.. some form of self purification attainment has to be laid as a stretched goal to add significance to it.. the general public wont give two hoots.. but f.. who cares about them.. its your own goal.
We all love the idea of “enforced denial” but sometimes I have to take it on myself. We have been together a very long time and done some wild things. Ironically, when she is not feeling well, it can create a window to experiment with long term abstinence. It’s nothing I want to share with the general public, but also I have to avoid being needy or clingy about it for now. It’s been 19 days since PIV, 12 since last ruined HJ. When her sex drive is high she really enjoys disappointing me with ruined HJs.
I'm in a similar boat. The desire to lock up is high but the desire to stay locked is low and fickle.
I can so relate to you Shannon. I had a tough year. (as did countless others, so I do NOT claim to be unique or unlucky) I put on twenty lbs from a previous "near perfection" at the start of last summer. I began a self (more or less) imposed 10 lbs locking period. No unlocking until I lose ten lbs. Which SHOULD have only lasted a couple of weeks.....but the day after the lock snapped shut, I suffered a freak injury. Preceding my lock-up, I declared a "season" of no ejaculation. I am 24 days into that. 8 days into my lock up. So, let us know how it goes! You aren't alone.
Injures suck. We have been at this a long time and sometimes life throws a curve. We were at a peak of kink and lifestyle choices before covid and that fees like a lifetime ago. Good for you on trying to find a groove. I’m trying to enjoy small things
I fully understand where you're coming from @shannonsanders and @Lazlo Toth . Sometimes it's on us as submissive husbands to up our game and recommit to our chastity and to the cage as part of tightening up our life generally.
Thank you! Maybe more than some others, self discipline has always been a part of this for me. I own several cages, but most of the time, also rely on clothing, habits, etc. I can be a bit obsessive and episodic about it all. Cages are so easy to get these days and almost a subcategory of fetish. Building up tension is the most important part to me. Sometimes wearing clothing that is either restrictive, sensual, and/or puts me in right mind set does as much as a cage.
Update: I’ve made it 28% of the way there. I’ve lost about 5 pounds. Real world, everyday life issues are making things not so fun at moment, but maybe this is a fun distraction. If you tack go past the last ruined orgasm, it’s been like 40 days since getting to wank, and almost 50 days since being allowed to complete intercourse.
One-Third of the way there. It’s already been over 50 days since last non-ruined O. It’s a zone of mixed feelings. I do think affection feels different.