I am/was a coward!

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Tokli, Apr 18, 2023.

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  1. Tokli
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    Tokli Member

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    I’ve found out about chastity about 5 years ago. I ordered a HT-Knockoff from Amazon that I wear
    whenever there is an opportunity. This is really seldom because my beloved wife works in home
    office and usually doesn’t leave the house without me.

    My wife and I had some discussions about sex because our libido doesn’t really match. I want way
    more sex than she wants and these discussions always ended in one of us being really angry.

    That’s why I never had the courage to speak to my wife about chastity. I always thought that I must
    be a very perverted guy and I was afraid about her reaction. My wife is really open about the whole
    theme of sex and intimacy and as once she found my cage the only thing she told me was to hide it
    better so that the kids wouldn’t find it. So at this point I missed the first opportunity to have “the
    talk” with her.

    This changed some weeks ago. We have a clique of 4 pairs and we usually meet once every week. It
    was a Saturday night where we were at our friends house when the ladies began talking about
    sextoys. The woman living in the house explained that she once bought a vibrator for 200€ only
    because she bought it in Hamburg Reeperbahn. At every other place it would have cost not half as
    much and she wanted to show it to the other women. So the ladies left to the bedroom and weren’t
    seen for about 3 hours. They came down again just before we had to leave.
    On our way home my wife told me: “You know what? D. too has a cage as you have and he lets J.
    fuck him in the ass.” I was so token by surprise that I couldn’t say anything than “Okay”.
    And so I missed the second chance.

    Some days later I finally took my courage in both hands and asked my wife if it would be a problem
    for her when I wear my cage. She asked me what I would have out of it and again I was catched
    unaware and didn’t have a meaningful answer for her. So she only said: “Do so if you like it” but I
    didn’t. Again I missed “the talk”.

    The day before yesterday I finally plucked up the courage and after taking a bath I simply put my cage
    on and left the key in our bedroom. I went downstairs and sat down on the sofa near to my wife. At
    first I was afraid that my wife would notice it but why was I afraid? She told me I could wear it…
    I served her a cup of tea and gave her a nice footrub. I have done that in the past but never without
    her asking me for it. I am pretty sure she must have noticed the hard plastic in my sweatpants but
    she didn’t say anything about it. That was the point where I decided to wear the cage longer this
    time. I never wore it longer than some hours before but this time I did so. I slept in my cage and went
    to work with it yesterday. After end of work I drove home still wearing my cage. After dinner I
    changed into my sweatpants, offered my wife a cup of tea and asked again if she’d like to get a
    footrub. I knew she wouldn’t decline and again she must have noticed my cage. As she doesn’t talk
    about it I think she’s fine with me wearing the cage.

    I think this was the biggest step for me because I was really afraid of her reaction. She knows that I
    have a kinky mind but I was really scared if she wouldn’t be fucked off by it.
    I will now wait a couple of days once for checking if I can wear the cage longterm without any
    medical issues and second to give her the time to eventually think about if she really has no concerns
    about my cage. I’m in it now for over 40 hours, including 2 nights without any bigger problems.
    I hope that asking her to be my keyholder will not be so difficult for me.

    When I gather up the courage I’ll surely send an update here.
     
  2. BavarianWoman
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    BavarianWoman I rule

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    Congratulations!
    Try to find a way.
    But you should maybe make some thoughts about communication with her. Maybe aks her to write her a letter.
     
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  3. Tokli
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    Tokli Member

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    Thanks for your feedback.
    I know that I have problems in communication. But that's one thing we discussed more than once in "normal" lief.
     
  4. BavarianWoman
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    BavarianWoman I rule

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    Trying to adjust to her needs might be a good keyword. But it will be challenging for you to really provide this and not to top from the bottom.
     
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  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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  6. Deleted member 100175
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    I think a lot of all this is genuinely accepting that intimacy doesn't automatically have to mean sex, and then proving it - in many of my relationships my partners have 'tensed up' sensing what was coming next when we started anything physical (for want of a better word)

    I'm glad we're in a position now where she can relax more, safe in the knowledge she can call the shots one way or the other with no 'obligation', less really can be a lot more
     
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  7. Kfb47
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    Kfb47 Long term member

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    I have a book full of letters I wrote and stories I downloaded on chastity marriage called it Ms Ts handbook, but I use it lately it’s got our contract in it and mostly tame stuff. We’ve been working on it 6 years, we have been trying to have me operate on a 21 day cycle but came close this time that is PIV without an E, failed this morning made it to 19 days. Now we start over, my wife has been slowly constantly growing into the mistress of my dreams all good at 76 years, our sex has never been better even if I’m denied … the longer the better. So don’t give up, catering to her when she doesn’t expect it works wonders.
     
  8. Bronze Shroud
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    Bronze Shroud Active member

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    Does it make you happy? If so, and if they love you, they'll support you. But you have to be ready to support them when they say "you do you boo." We can like different things and still be lovers and best friends.
     
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  9. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    You are not a coward.

    This is not something that is easy to talk about, if it was, Chastity would be more mainstream.

    You talked to us here and that is a hell of a good step. You stated your Desires here, in a public place.

    The next step is to talk to Her.

    I think your Wife did drop some hints so She is open to it. She did talk about pegging to you after the visit with your Friends.

    Schedule a time with Her to talk about it. Make it more like a business meeting about the weekly "TPS Reports" and less like you are talking about something your embarrassed about.

    Keep moving forward.

    You can do this.

    Iso.
     
  10. madams-sissysub
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    Thanks for sharing.
     
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