Sensual Dominance

You say it in such a nice way " Sensual Dominance "

It took Miss Shelly some time to get comfortable taking control over my pleasures and pains. She didn't want to hurt me but over time she has realized that when she does nothing at all it hurts even more. She has become very comfortable in her role of being in control and never wants to give it up. I've never really thought about if it's in balance or not. I think part of that is because I hard a hard time distinguishing between pain and pleasure. Or pleasure and pain.

How ever She decides to take our relationship into the future I'm game for it. Even after all th kinky things she's allowed me to experience I'm sure she can think of read about something she would like to try. She is the Sensual Dominatrix in our Relationship and I'm her little servant and loving it.

 

for me it's neither physical nor sensual, but mental, which could straddle both or include one or even neither. It's the granting of control.

 

My Wife, @Breathe is a poster woman for sensual dominance. Physical pain is, by no means "needed" to dominate another. Quite honestly, if She was insistent on physical pain being a part of Her methods...we wouldn't be married. I have certain views on certain aspects of D/s and BDSM that I don't care to get into. They simply wouldn't line up with another human who enjoys administering painful acts upon another.

Having said that, it has always been and always will be blatantly obvious and clear to everyone involved, who is in charge in our household. Without physical punishments. Without pain. It's simply not needed. She gets Her way. She also isn't the overly selfish type who understands my needs and wants and purposely turns into a dick by ignoring them or ridding them from our existence.

She knows I have issues with physical pain in a D/s scenario. Does She use that against me? No. Because She knows it would have serious consequences on our marriage. But, it's also because that isn't Her nature. Instead, She listens. She pays (far too close) attention (sometimes) to every little detail of every little thing. She reads and interprets, analyses and forms methods by communicating, verbally and through less than painful actions. She's mostly soft spoken and carries a beautiful smile. She's a soft touch that somehow still carries firm and strict control. She's strong. Physically. She's bigger than I am. But She's even stronger mentally and that's where Her power, strength, control and dominance comes from.

You would think, based on this description, that She wouldn't be able to tame or break down the strong, outgoing, confident A-type personalities. You'd be wrong. I've heard it before, more than once. "There's something about You." I've seen it before, too. She walks into a room and people stare. Women tend to butt heads with Her. I can read people. It's been a gift I've used my entire life. When I read, I see women and men alike are intimidated by Her. Yet, She isn't loud. Doesn't scream for attention. Doesn't demand a room pay Her attention. It just does. All while She remains calm, polite, soft spoken and pleasant to all.

When I first got interested in D/s, I was under the impression that physical pain was necessary to discipline and control someone. I'm ashamed of myself for even admitting I was that closed-minded at one time. She taught me it wasn't needed. Preferred by many? Of course. Nothing wrong with that. It's probably most effective for submissive's who have no self control and are constantly swarmed by selfish thoughts of their own desires. That's not me.

I want to please Her. I want to see the smile on Her face. I want to be a better person than one who would disappoint Her to the point that She gets angry enough to punish me. Or to have a laundry list of punishments for some contractual no-no's. I micro-manage my own life enough as is. I don't need someone else doing it for me and I'm sure as hell not going to put that amount of responsibility on someone else. Especially not my partner. That seems exhausting.

If you need and want physical pain as a part of your dynamic and your partner is good with it and enjoys it? That's wonderful. All I'm saying is there's also another way. It's by no means the way it has to be in order to have established, genuine, dominant and submissive roles. In play and in every other aspect of life.

As for the pleasure aspects of a sensual dominant? Whew, do I have a thing for Her soft voice while She uses me or edges me or teases me to the point I'm gripping the sheets and growling like a mutt frothing at the mouth. Hearing that soft voice telling me how good it would feel to let go and spill and then hearing Her tell me it's not going to happen. Hearing Her make me say "I don't want to cum" when I'm one muscle flexing away from covering the ceiling. Sensual dominance doesn't have to be all so soft, either. My Wife fucks like the world is going to end. Every muscle in my body aches after we get into it for hours at a time.

Maybe it's different for us because we're married and love one another. I know that's not the case for everyone. So, take my perspective for whatever it's worth to You. Sensual dominance in marriage works just wonderfully. I wouldn't want it any other way!

To finally answer the question...I would say our scale tips heavily towards sensual dominance. With very minimal physical pain or humiliation. Great thread. Thanks.

 

What you said is beautiful and how I hope to be. I have no interest in pain or punishment. Sexy spankings are different. I want him to serve me not because I have the key, but he's under my spell.