What do you do when you feel entitled to more attention then you are getting? Been locked for 6 weeks now, with the last 10 days in COMPLETE lock down - it has not been let out nor touched. I was emotional all day and she picked up on it. We talked and we are good, but I wish I could just be better at serving than wanting.
Just remember that it's what she wants. Ask her to continuously remind and tease you about it, even if just in words, she might like it.
It is tough. At the beginning of our journey I went through a phase like you while my Wife found her way. She didn't do much and I felt left out. As she has discovered the things that excite her I am getting more attention and more teasing, it has just taken her time to discover how much fun she has. Communication is key. If she does not know how you feel then she cannot respond. Every woman is different but they all need to know what power they have and how much this can be used for their own sexual and intimate needs. A key moment in my relationship was when we started using a secret Tumblr. I share images and posts that turn me on and give her ideas. She understands that all this stuff is just things I like and not a demand. It has however given her several 'click' moments and helped her relax into her role.
I agree with @Jasmic68 . Communication is key. My wife/Mistress and I do an informal review about once a month to discuss emotions, what's working, what's not, likes, dislikes ... We love each other very much and we both agree that each of us have to have or needs met in order to move forward. We were a stereotypical vanilla couple a year ago and we both decided that FLR and chastity was a way to rekindle our relationship. We also talk for a few minutes after each scene (almost daily)to get some feedback from each other on how we felt. I'm sure I'm going to stir the pot by saying chastity is about giving control to her, but both people need to have their needs met in order for it to work long term. If it's all one sided, resentment will set it and it will all blow up.
Thanks everyone for your advise. CM is such a great resource and I feel so lucky to have you kind people helping my through my journey. Just posting how I felt helped me identify and dissipate some of these feelings, and my wife and I have a lovely morning together this morning, where she did let it out for some air, I took a 'free' shower, now I am back under lock and key, ready to be with my partner minus the brooding.
People often forget about the extremely emotional side of being locked up. It's taking away a source of comfort you've had since you were a child. It's taking away what is traditionally viewed as your "manhood." It make one feel extremely vulnerable. But remember that those emotional aspects are also important to chastity. It's not just the physical. Practice patience and remind yourself that she is in control. She will give you her attentions when she feels like it. Definitely communicate when you are broody and feeling neglected, but do a little self reflection before you bother her with it to make sure it's not simply growing pains from parting with your male entitlement. Plus you know, when she finally does pay attention to you, its because she wants to. Because she is enjoying toying with you. Not because she feels obligated to. It sounds like you and your wife have excellent communication and that this was simply a small bump in the road. Enjoy!
Hello Mistress, thank you for your thoughts on this post. I visited your website and see you have much experience in these matters. The most intense pleasure/orgasm I have ever had in my life was at the end my last lockup, which was a 40-day denial period, when my Goddess bound my hands and brought me to an orgasm. Leading up to this experience, I did not ask for an orgasm, I did not ask to be tied up. She decided that she was in the mood to toy with me and I totally surrendered to her wishes and her will. This is my biggest challenge: giving up control. I ALWAYS want to be played with. And she wants to play with me much less frequently. I am going through these growing pains you speak of. Your advise to communicate when I am broody, but to practice self reflection is right on. I am so imperfect, flawed, needy, and selfish. Any drama we have is drama I bring. My wife/Goddess is to be commended a thousand times over for training me to be a better man. Thanks again for your perspectives. Humbly submitted, js.
For the first time, I am really feeling parted from my manhood. We agreed to 1 orgasm/month if I am good. Maybe less. And now if I am out of the cage, like recently for a ski getaway, I am not permitted to touch it. She loves how devoted I am to her after being denied, and we now realize that I am less attentive to her after an orgasm. We also now have 2 meetings per week. One meeting is an open forum to talk about chastity. This allows me to hold my tongue during the week so as not to smother her with talk about chastity all the time. This is making continual chastity sustainable. The other meeting is for me to get my paddling for infractions. I feel the shift from game to lifestyle and it is totally mind blowing. I am living my fantasy all because I have an open minded, confident, loving, strict and bad-ass wife/key holder. Feeling very lucky and devotional to my goddess.