The dream is dead

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Maybe Reluctantly, Sep 18, 2019.

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  1. Maybe Reluctantly
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    Will start by saying that the idea of having my wife control my cock with a cage has been one of my hottest fantasies since I first learned of such a thing. It's been two years of trying now though, and I'm ready to throw in the towel. I've tried most every style of ball trap device out there, have been through about seven devices, had a CBX3000, custom made cherry keeper, lots of cheap online devices, etc. My max wearing time has been about six hours, and even then everything starts to really hurt. After wearing for six hours, it's hurts to pee, I've got a real pain in my abdomen down by my balls, and I feel like i have incontinence for the next couple of days, and my erections are definitely weaker. This last time I pushed myself to six hours, I was worried I did permanent damage, but the effects seem to have gone away. I was ready to go to the hospital over the pain in my abdomen, and it hurt like hell to pee. I'm scared to death to wear it overnight or for multiple days. The problem is, it usually feels pretty comfortable while wearing, it's only afterwards that problems appear. Then I get really frustrated and realize this is probably not healthy.

    I've experimented with ring sizes a ton, and have it as loose as I can get without it just falling off. I'm not really willing to wear a full belt or get piercings, that would be way too much for my wife and probably for me. This leads me to puzzle how the rest of you are doing this. Maybe my body is just strange, or maybe other folks aren't worried bout incontinence/impotence. Maybe a lot of the stories here are just fantasy, not sure. One thing for sure, for me the fantasy of being locked by a keyholder for days on end remains just that, a fantasy.
     
  2. dre8car
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    dre8car Always Locked and Rarely Cum - Lori 8b

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    I've been doing the trial and error thing for about 2 years too. I had similar issues as you. What I discovered my cause was, tube and ring too small along with improper design for long term wear trying to accommodate a short ball. My other issue was ball slippage which was fixed with a ring mod. I've been back in for 14 days so things may change comfort wise but getting the optimal size and design will solve the problems.
     
  3. UnderHerEye
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    UnderHerEye Member

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    Wow, that's awful. Sorry to hear that you've had such a miserable, downright scary experience. I had some real struggles early on but finally found the dimensions and configuration that works comfortably for me for 23-23.75 hours per day.

    Can I ask what gap space you've been using on your devices? For me finding the right gap space was key to comfort and security.
     
  4. young88
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    young88 Long term member

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    If the lifestyle is that important to you and your key holder then consider having a piercing and do away with the ball trap devices and the pain forever. Yes its a big call, but it was one we made 8 years ago and have been successfully living a permanent male chastity relationship ever since. There is no pain, no chaffing but absolute chastity with no possibility of pullout. it then becomes very real and the whole lifestyle takes on another level.
     
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  5. andy66
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    andy66 Long term member

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    Can I ask what chastity device you wear?
    Thank you
     
  6. Kepoke
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    Kepoke Long term member

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    Have you considered a belt? I've never used one but could that be an alternative? With ball trap devices, I switched awhile back to ones that use an oval ring instead of a round ring and it's amazing the world of difference it makes.
     
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  7. andy66
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    andy66 Long term member

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    How does an oval make it a more comfortable experience?
     
  8. andy66
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    andy66 Long term member

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    I am close to ordering a device now as I am a few weeks off stretching to a 5mm pa. I was going with a Contender after considering a rigid chastity device.
     
  9. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Long term member

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    Sound like blue balls rather than the cage itself.
     
  10. Jack In A Cage
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    Jack In A Cage Member is caged

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    I was exactly like you. No off the rack device fit and most were very painful, one gave me shooting heat on the bottom of my balls. I bit the bullet and ordered a custom Jail Bird from Mature Metal. Just got it the other day, it fits perfectly!! I hardly know it is on, I can't believe how comfortable it is, look them over, they are pricey but well worth it.
     
  11. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Not sure who said the looser the base ring the more comfortable it will be, but that isn’t what I’ve noticed. You want that ring to be tight enough where you can only push your finger in up to the knuckle. Length needs to be short enough not to allow any growing room as well.

    I’ve never heard of anyone only making it 6 hours unless the device was way off. In general they do take a little to get used to, but one that fits is only as uncomfortable as the strain you put on it(getting aroused). That’s why morning wood is such a problem.

    Hope things go better, I’m sure you can find a cage that will fit you well enough for at least weekend wear. Happygo from Amazon makes a decent steel cage, it’s simple, has various sizes, and easy to wear long term with a few tweaks. I’d stay away from anything with hinges, sharp corners, plastic(just my opinion), or anything too elaborate.

    Good luck
     
  12. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    That must be devastating, I'm sorry you have experienced this.
    If this is very important to you then as drastic as it may be, a PA may be your only salvation.
    I'm not an expert but I have read that if you have a piercing and are not wearing anything at the time that you can twist the head around so there is no dribble and you can stand to pee. Point being if you go for it and don't like it, it won't mean you have to sit to pee forever. Hey I get its scary though which is why I haven't done it yet myself. Although I can see it in my future.
    Good luck
     
  13. madams-sissysub
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    Sounds to me like you have high tight balls, maybe you need to stretch them a bit first? When I first started with chastity, I had similar pains to what you are describing, but they were not as severe as you are experiencing.
     
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  14. samseaborne
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    samseaborne Long term member

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    Which cherry keeper devices have you tried?
    The ring is the key, the perfectly round flat ones will always fail,
    the cherry keeper oval and curved back are really good, I'm in the process of targeting in on the just right size. Almost there.
    The issue is usually pressure from under your balls, too tight a ring
     
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  15. young88
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    young88 Long term member

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    I wear a Lori's 5A most of the time and a Evotion Bijou when there are metal detectors around.
     
  16. PauloChaste
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    PauloChaste Living the chaste life

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    Is it possible to see a photo of the Lori on.
    Thanks
     
  17. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Ihave of course heard of ball slippage.. but not a ring mod to address that issue .. would you care to expand on that please?
     
  18. Maybe Reluctantly
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    Wow, thanks for all of the advice all. Maybe an oval ring would help. Haven't gone with a custom made metal device as it feels like it could be too heavy and my kid jumping on me could feel it. @madams-sissysub , yeah, I definitely am high and tight. Do they stretch over time? or do you just get used to it? @dre8car , I'd also be curious how you modified the rings.
     
  19. dre8car
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    dre8car Always Locked and Rarely Cum - Lori 8b

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    So far so good. Good comfort and haven't had slipped yet during the squat yet.

    When I decided to see if I could improve my sex life through chastity, I bought 3 Chinese ones, MM, and Lori over 2 years. I find the Lori 8c to be the most comfortable than the others.

    It's early but I think I solved the slippage with an oval ring with the bottom offset to the rear. My thought was if my ball was short let's try moving the bottom of ring behind the ball. The cage also now seems to sit closer to my body. I'm very happy with the result. When super flaccid it doesn't hang away as much. YMMV. Make extra sure your measuring is sound because I've learned mm matter.
     
  20. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    #20 Alceste, Sep 21, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2019
    Yes, and people tend to overestimate the dimensions. I'm sure I don't know why.
     
  21. andy66
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    andy66 Long term member

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    Would you say an oval ring is better for long term comfort?
     
  22. PauloChaste
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    PauloChaste Living the chaste life

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    I had both for my MM Jail Bird and the round was best but it does depend on the individual
     
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  23. Ocachot
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    Ocachot Member

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    Hello, for sure you need to replace your ring. From my experience, the perfect size is diam. 45 mm. But i can endure a 44 ( hinged to improve installation) No pain at all, but release after one week reveals some troubles due to chaffing the skin. Going to find a 45 hinged to increase my time in cage
     
  24. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    There is also the possibility of chastity with the honor system. My wife doesn't really like the cage and has only recently allowed me to wear it around the house only. It is difficult and I fail sometimes, but it is still one way to do it. She has had control of my orgasms for a little over two years and she knows when i have cheated. It still can be fun.
    The device I use at night is a modified bon 4 cage with a round 45 mm ring. I like the shape of the bon 4 cage but don`t like the hinged ring. I just modified the cage with a file.
    The others are right. There probably is a cage and size that is right for you, you just haven't found it yet. Just do the honor system until you find the right cage.
    Good luck!
     
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  25. KittensProperty
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    KittensProperty Kitten's Happy Property

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    I will second the Jail Bird. I have been in mine almost 24/7 since 29 June. Compared to the Chinese made 'stainless' steel devices it is very light weight. Like @Jack In A Cage said, most of the time I don't even think about it being there.
     
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