I think im going to tell my Girlfriend, need encouragement.

I just recently told my wife.....

II put the chastity on myself, and later in the evening I told her I've something to say....
I gave her the key on a key ring...she looked puzzled, I dropped my pants...
Brief shock, a giggle, an inspection, a few simple questions..... Then she told she was off to hide it....
Opening up was more scary.

 

She knew I crossdressed, but it was see no evil, hear no evil....also knew I liked kinky stuff, but she's never showed interest....
Chastity... I don't know, never spoken about before...
But she does like being pampered... So I refer to her as my princess, and submitting with some subtle efforts.....

 

Great

 

I read a suggestion on a cross dressing site for how to let one's significant other know about one's kink. The suggestion was to make it "inclusive," as though you are letting them know something about you which no one (or perhaps only a select few) knows about, rather than "I have a secret I have been keeping from you." The former lets your new KH into the club, while the latter makes it seem like you have trust issues with them and you are begrudgingly letting them know.

When I gave my KH the key, I put it in a jewelry case, on a necklace, and after she opened it I showed her my chastity cage. She is pretty vanilla, but really took it in stride. Good luck!

 

http://www.amazon.com/How-Set-Georg...TF8&qid=1448054428&sr=1-4&keywords=ivey+green

That book is a good starting place. Since you say she is naturally dominant, that makes things a bit easier. Feel her out on the FLR and if she's receptive, both of you should read that book, it's an easy read. Discussion on chastity is about half way through. I'd give her the opportunity to suggest it first. Otherwise discuss the book and bring chastity up as a discussion topic.

I dove into the deep end. Wife came home from running errands and I dropped the trousers and stood there with a cage on and a buttplug in. Fortunately she was waiting for me to let my kinky side out, she wasn't familiar with chastity too much, but she got into it because it was important to me.

It sounds like you've got some good groundwork laid already. Take it slow and don't dump too much on her at once.

 

mychastehubby.blogspot.com is good resource. have a few drinks and have her read some . But yeah I wouldnt keep it from her. When I finally told my wife she was upset I didnt let her into the know from the very beginning. She wanted to be a part of it from the very beginning with all of the trials and tribulations. And trust me, my wife is very vanilla.

 

I too put on the device and then told her. After some blushing on both our parts I revealed my locked cage. I started because we were no longer as intimate as we once were. The implication that being intimate meant that we had to have sex was a real problem, so my wife saw the advantage of set periods locked up. Now we snuggle and snog like teenagers with my wife happy to know that if sex is on the cards it is at her discretion. We are both very happy, in love and wonderfully intimate once more. I do get frustrated but that's part of the point. For us chastity has become a wonderful marital tool, we would recommend it to anyone no matter where they are on the vanilla scale.

 

The thing that continues to amaze me is how similar so many people's stories are to my own. I also went to my wife with the idea of chastity and also with my reasons for doing so. She is naturally dominant, but I would describe her as being a positive D, and she accepted my idea. I think I am just at the end of proving to her this wasn't just a fad after nearly two months. I think you need to go to her with more than just it is kinky as a reason for doing this. Explain your wishes in broader terms and if she is interested she will accept them.

 

I would recommend showing her a picture of a CB on the internet and telling her that you thought it might be a fun idea. Don't bottle it all up due to fear. There's nothing to be scared of. Gosh men can be such cowards.
The longer you hide your fantasy the worse the larger the monster you will need to tackle.
If you're not open and honest to her about your feelings you could end up just putting one on and confronting her with it like sillymaid did.

 

Make her see all the benefits to having a chaste attentive male around

 

I sent my wife a text with a picture of a cage and ask her what she thought of it. She thought it was sexy to go ahead an order one. I explained what it was for and she was receptive to the idea. Now she is hooked on being queen.

 

You are indeed worrying about it far to much and believe me you would be far better to show her a pic from the web and tell her it piqued your curiosity. Rather than buying her a book which would indicate that you had been thinking about it and planning for it.

 

I would also caution you not to bring this up while out on a date! I would think being in a comfortable, safe environment with no distractions would be a much better place to start this conversation.

 

If she is very vanilla and not very dominant than it might not be great to just show up with the device on. Then again that might work out great for you. Only you know her that well. What I would suggest is avoiding phrases like it might be fun or focusing on other guys wanting to be controlled. I would focus on that you enjoy being submissive(I'm assuming) and that you want to try having her control your orgasms because you really want to. Focus on your emotions and what it means to you for her to take control. If it means a lot to you and you convey that to her then it will be something that she will want to try for you.

 

I agree with @Mascara^Snake on this one. You might frighten her off with FLR books right from the bat. Taking it slow and starting from an interest might be a better bet. You dont want to overwelm her right from the get go, IMO.

 

I'd avoid any website until much later, once you know which way the wind is blowing. Otherwise it's like those horrible mix tapes you made in junior high for a girl you liked - "Uh, hi... uh, here; this song is how I feel about you...". And it's usually a horrible song, too.

 

Hi

Wow lots to pick through .

Would I be right to say you are not a very macho bloke and I don't mean that in any bad way at all. I think lots of girls are quite happy with guys who have to some degree a sensitive feminine side.

If you have questions as to where you sit in the gender spectrum this maybe the point to start from . Have you read any thing about Gender Dysphoria ? If not it may help to order your thoughts.

Thus if the chastity comes from a sort of basic dislike of you boy bits or maybe you would prefer to make love more as a woman as a more tender softer partner.
Then the possibility of a more logical order of explaining your feelings to your self and your gf may make more sense.

Huge steps despite Mistress Amanda's advice. However may be good to sort some of this out now before you both turn up at the church in white with lots of pearls and flowing trains

Xx Wendy

 

Why not this website?

 

Good point @thundar I found fetlife just after I found the Mansion. I would not try and start things with fetlife, but I am talking to my wife about this forum. It just feels a lot more friendly and less scary.

 

Fetlife is entirely what you choose it to be. The first munch my wife and I attended was an overwhelmingly positive experience. You can find me on Fetlife as Shaggysub.

The OP already seems to be in a situation tailor made for this lifestyle. He just needs the courage to have "The Talk" about his desires. It's not an easy thing to do. It took 3 and a half years of marriage and a low point in my life before I was able to articulate my needs to my wife. It's a shame, because on our 4th date she had already brought up the use of strap ons. I'm in no way saying that the years before my decision to be honest about my desires were a waste, because we still had a great relationship, but there were lost opportunities and I think our life would have been even better had I approached this lifestyle earlier.

OP, tell your girlfriend that you need to get something off your chest. Sit down with her and be honest about what you need. Exposing her to this or that doesn't make a difference. You have a strong relationship already, she's already identified certain characteristics about you. You are already looking at the long term formal relationship. Having this talk now is the right thing to do. If you have a cage already, don't wear it during the talk, you can say you've experimented with it, but give her the opportunity to see the cage before its on you. Once you start talking, if you're honest and she genuinely cares for you, things will fall into place and work out.

Good luck and for both of your sakes, don't wait too long.