Chastity and Mental Health

i hope you are getting help for your depression. I too have a bit of a problem. I spent a great deal of my life in the military and took part in several ugly situations. The nightmares have been intense. Life has always been on the edge. I started counselling. My wife and I also reconnected and have been trying different things. Chastity came up, so we tried it. I am finding the ugly dreams are slowly being replaced by more sexual oriented dreams. I am starting to sleep through the night.... well most nights. I talked to my shrink about it and he said that if it changes the night time dynamic then go all in! Good luck to you subseries. I do hope it changes your dynamic!

 

A big part of the change you are experiencing is due to the fact you are happier with your life. Chastity is giving you a sense of purpose and worth and that makes you feel better about yourself.

I hope you continue to have these positive emotions. Chastity is powerful medicine!

 

I have also struggled with mental health issues in recent times.

Without going into all the details I started getting help (both medically and counselling) in Dec 2017. At my first counselling session we talked about unhelpful thinking patterns/habits. I had some homework to do to work out what type of unhelpful thinking habits applied to me. It turns out that one of my issues was having unrealistic expectations about a few things - one of which was sex. Obsessing a bit about when it might happen, then getting upset if it didn't happen, then wondering when next time would be. Bit of a downward spiral there.

We also did some work on replacing unhelpful thinking patterns with more helpful thinking. It was then that I remembered the Chastity Mansion website that I had joined a few years previously, but was only on for a month or so back then. I came back and had a look at CM again and put a few things together. Male chastity could be part of the helpful thinking approach for me! Bingo!

My wife and I agreed we needed to talk about sex, so on New Years night we talked and I mentioned the concept of male chastity; something my wife had never heard of. I explained my unrealistic fantasies and expectations. I offered to allow her to decide if and when sex might happen and in the meantime I would leave my dick alone and I wouldn't bug her for sex. Without wanting to tell her what to do, I said that it would be helpful if there was no set pattern - if things fell into a pattern I would start anticipating and getting my expectations up (so to speak). She immediately liked the idea as it was a way of taking pressure off her to have sex.

So now I don't know when we might have sex; I don't want to know; I don't start thinking about her having a day off when both kids are at school and something might happen. Things will happen if and when she wants things to happen.

''I don't know much, but that may be all I need to know.''​

I haven't mentioned chastity to my counsellor, but when talking about my unrealistic expectations I did mention sex and that my wife was going to be the one calling the shots from now on. He has since asked me how that was going and I told him it was great - no more unrealistic expectations in that area.

So, it turns out that chastity is actually an integral part of my therapy by helping sort out my unhealthy thinking habits.

 

I'm bipolar and it has had a significant effect on our lives. I have three modes, ordinary, nihilism and "I'm the greatest". The third feels the best and is the most harmful. I sometimes wonder if ordinary exists. My wife has to ride this out and shes become really good at pointing out when I'm becoming over reactive or inappropriate.

What I suppose I am trying to say is that I will post when I'm somewhat manic..

For months I might be chastity daft and out of this world on every conceivable way of serving my woman, really wanting to push the boundaries and think I'll hopefully never fall into the pit of depair again. That's when I could wear a device for a year and not even care. I've been hypomanic lately. Long may it stay. I've been on mood stabilisers for the past few months and kicked all anti-depressants to the side, they end my sex drive, utterly, The chastity gives me some structure to my day and is a constant distraction from the dismal picture of decrepitude and death which stalks us all. Happy Xmas.

 

I can't help on the mental illness front, but many people on CM have noted the effect of chastity on their emotional well being. For me it brought out the joy one can feel in putting another persons happiness before their own. Human beings are selfish creatures by nature, but a real sense of joy can be found in serving others. I'm glad it's working for you and your fiancé.

 

Absolutely. With me not so much depression, but anxiety. I actually didn’t notice it until we put chastity down for a good stretch, and even then it wasn’t super obvious - my anxiety has never been too bad or too disruptive, and mostly manifests as problems sleeping or focusing, and at its worst irritability and a quick temper (maybe as much a result of extended periods of 2-4hrs sleep a night though). But when she is fully engaged and this chastity thing is underpinning our day to day lives, there’s definitely a marked improvement in those areas. She’s taken notice this time around also. In fact it was her that pointed it out.

It’s a great mystery to me why it has that effect! Maybe ceding whatever amount of responsibity and control your dynamic has you ceding helps calm the mind. Not sure. I try not to look a gift horse in the mouth on this issue

 

Calming the mind is key to it all. Let us embrace the fact that chastity can do that for some of us. Obviously it is different strokes for different folks. But if chastity can help some of us calm the fuck down and then that is a great thing. I, for one, have found chastity as a great help to calm me down.

Good luck and best wishes to all of you out there who are trying to find whatever they need to calm the fuck down.

 

Here is one breathing app
Breathe2Relax: a cool stress management tool for iPhone. It shows you how you can use breathing to improve your mood and reduce your stress.

These apps provide you with breathing tips and exercises to make you healthy and keep you happy for longer.

 

Dealing with an abusive broken childhood family, PTSD, anxiety, and depression for much of my life, I have found some relief since beginning a FLR and chastity. In a way, it has helped me by putting some of the important executive decisions on Her shoulders, which includes when sexual gratification may occur. Also, by turning the focus away from myself and to Her and our family, I am happier. While I can't say that this has been a perfect cure, I find that there is a renewed sense of purpose and hope, and I don't always "feel" as alone as I once did. Most days I am in a better place. Each day appears as a new day filled with possibilities.

 

I think it's fantastic that chastity has had this effect on you, helping you deal with the mental health problems and long may it continue. However, I hope that you are getting some professional help to deal with these problems as well? If not, I would be very worried about what might happen to you if your relationship ever broke up......not that I am saying it will, just that, as with all relationships, there is always a possibility.

 

Something I have noticed in myself since my Wife decided to lock me up is more positive motivation and energy towards aspects of life outside of our D/s dynamic and sex. It’s not a constant, by any means. But, it’s much more present than the past.

Ambition to act on things that I would only talk about doing before has increased. A ‘can do’ attitude has surfaced much more frequently throughout my day to day.

So. I guess I would say that chastity has introduced positive mental energy for myself. Which, in my opinion would be good mental health. I’m not the happiest-go-lucky type of guy and I don’t always walk around with a big smile on my face. I, on more days than not, do feel positive, mentally.

These realizations have come to the surface since chastity began for us. Whether that is coincidence or not, I don’t know. It's realizations since being locked.

 

I suffer from bipolar. I haven’t been locked up long again. But I was just thinking the other day on how I haven’t had a down slide since my wife ordered me back in lock down. Not sure the reasoning why this is. But I will gladly trade my dick locked up over depression any day.