Chastity WITHOUT humilliation

Sure! We practice chastity without humiliation. I don’t believe in gender or race superiority either. I submit to my wife, and give her complete ownership of all my sexual pleasure. She focuses on making me a “good boy”. Perhaps the “pet” language could be considered humiliating. But she loves me.

She’s gentle hearted, but firm in her control... confident in demeanor. There’s no need to degrade or shout or belittle. She owns me and I’m cherished. I’d call it gentle-femdom on the whole.

I think femininity is beautiful. I adore women. They make me smile. Making me or her feminine is not a focus for us. We just are.

I’ve become such a better friend, husband, lover, and submissive once I shed all the trappings and story-lines you read and watch that surround chastity. I started my path December 2013. I gave up masturbation cold turkey for over three months. I submitted to her daily without expectations. Well I struggled to keep friendly and kind and sweet and giving and helpful without expecting anything in return. Making her smile and happy was my goal.

She blossomed as my dominant owner over these past five years. She encouraged me to get pierced, and watched over as it happened. Chastity finally “clicked” for her later in 2014 as something positive. She preferred “well behaved” demeanor when I was locked and actively participated once I was secured by a piercing in my custom steel Contender.

She encourages me to mind how I spend my time, my health, my mental state. She’s taken complete ownership of my self pleasuring as of 2017, and she’s prepared to do this for the rest of her days (recent conversation).

Nothing worked like the fantasy stories of porn. It all slowly grew from my shedding expectations, negative emotions, “angling to be punished”, and letting her lead.

She does feed off my frustration and constant arousal. She likes me better this way. The chastity and orgasm denial is a huge positive for us. Some days I wish it wasn’t as necessary, but we’ve established a new foundation for our relationship. This lauded has melded into our everyday lives.

So we get a long, slow, simmering heat that we bask in. We get an everyday D/s relationship that doesn’t need scenes. I’m simply expected to not touch my cock - locked or not.

The power exchange is done. My struggle is merely to cope and she loves watching it.

There’s a lot of positive male chastity relationships out there. I’m grateful to have found some. I had to get past the porn and wank-fodder to find it.

Good luck! I hope you get more responses. I am heartwarmed to read about positive relationships that involve male chastity.

 

There is no reason to over-think it. Chastity to me is an extension of a bedroom tease and denial. Many vanilla couples do it (as in bedroom t&d) without thinking much because it can be fun, brings a bit of challenge along the "normal activity." Chastity can be treated the same way without any humiliation (and like @Peter Rabbit mentioned, race / gender superiority or really any other).

Cheers.

 

I have no interest in humiliation but I do understand how some might enjoy it even if it's only harmless role playing. My issue is that having actively dressed female secretly from a very young age I had a lot of self-loathing and hatred for what I saw back then as some kind of sickness In many ways I actively punished and humiliated myself for many years. In the end once I accepted I was always going to be this way and learnt to appreciate and find some peace with it, I swore I would never degrade myself again or allow another person to.

The annoying part of that is I can't even listen to a lot of femdom hypnosis which has many positive feminising benefits because the language used hurts and even offends me, especially when it's themed to make me think less of myself. The same goes for a large amount of sissy content because while I do have some kinks I feel I'm transgender and not a sissy, but for some reason I find sissies nicer to talk to because they don't try to push me into things which I don't want for myself. Trans forums in my experience don't seem to care what I want so I come to sites like this one where I won't be seen as an outcast.

Specifically concerning chastity I find it helps balance me out. You talk about spirituality and feminine energy and I feel the same way about it because it's always there. Sometimes it's stronger, other times it's subdued and when I believe I am shifting too much towards the masculine I make sure to wear my device. In a sense it's a period of enforcement to condition my thinking back towards what makes me feel better. I can go weeks in chastity or just a few days it just depends but I do know it helps me to refocus.

 

With exception of my being locked up for long terms, and using a strapon, my wife and I have an otherwise vanilla relationship. I'm not in chastity to be humiliated, and my wife doesn't think I'm too small to satisfy her. She just gets a charge out of keeping me aroused and horny. It's a fun kink that we share, and we do it as long as we're both enjoying it. When it stops being fun, we take a break for a while then go back to it.

While I don't believe in divine energy, I do believe that it has helped the two of us rekindle a little spark.

Great question, by the way. I was just complaining that the most common responses that I've had to my blog posts are along the lines of "If you're locked up, why doesn't Mrs Edge just fuck other guys?" or similar questions.

 

Hi, @KatyTwilight, it is really good to see you active at the Mansion again. I am still hanging around, though I don’t post much anymore.

Our experience is very much humiliation free. Elle is focused on using chastity as a way of improving our relationship and enjoys praising me for my efforts. She took the role of being my Mistress Wife very seriously and let the boundaries of what using chastity meant develop slowly but surely.

We have talked about humiliation and even read posts on Tumblr (when it was still a thing) encouraging it, but it just isn’t Elle’s style and she very rarely says anything demeaning. If she ever admonishes me she really means what she is saying, and isn’t just saying it for effect.

There is a sub (pun intended) genre of Femdom that is Loving, and that is her way. That said, for some being made to wear a device, being made to wear women’s underwear, or do household chores is demeaning, but it is all in the attitude of the person in charge. Elle gets a kick out of giving me orders, locking up my penis, denying me orgasms (my average has now stretched to one in six months) and her arousal through such things is the engine that powers our chastity based relationship.

Last night I gave her a Yoni massage (which I have you to thank for, it is still one of the best things I have ever been introduced to) and when we had finished she was glowing. When I asked her how it had been her response was “exquisite.” She gave me a big, long hug, teased me for a while with stroking and caressing, then sent me to my bed.

I love this, I love her, and she loves me. Chastity has made our relationship stronger, we are more intimate and more sexual than we had ever been in our marriage before.

 

No humilliation here. My wife controls my penis and she is allowed to punish me if I am not behaving according to the agreed rules. That can involve spanking and it can be that she keeps me locked while I have to service her or while she services herself but I do not consider these things as humiliation.

 

Sorry, I haven't really got any experience to add. My Holder doesn't see chastity, or cross dressing, or chores as humiliation. Nor, finally, do I. She is adamant that Her kick comes from being helpful and hearing my experiences.

As to the rest of what I'm reading here, forgive me, but #lifegoals.

 

What a beautiful post. It's what I aspire to but likely won't achieve, as my wife cannot accept too much feminity in me.

 

Dear Katy, Thank you for helping bring a more positive focus to our mansion. xxx stevie

 

Thank you, that's very kind of you. I've actually talked to a few sissies and it's really surprising how many are not into humiliation and dislike FemDom. It's more a case that they want to dress how they choose, feel confident and have fun. To tell the truth I wasn't sure if I belonged here since it is very hard to contribute on many topics which I cannot relate to

In my own case I am more confident and have much more self-esteem when I feel female but sexually it gets a bit confusing for me. Sometimes I have to dress in a very trashy way which I kind of think undermines my progress. It could just be my female confidence sexually but sometimes I wonder if it's the male part of my mind trying to degrade me... haven't figured that part out yet. I'm so glad you had a wonderful experience with someone who can appreciate the complete you. I long for that myself but in my case it would feel weird with a woman and I'd rather be with a guy. I mean I've always been bisexual to some extent and I've been with men but never dressed in what I feel are the correct clothes. I kind of think my wiring has got messed up along the way because it never felt gay to me, more like correct straight female behaviour. At least that's how I reason it out. Of course the question remains whether I could ever find someone who really appreciates the woman in me instead of attracting someone who saw me as a kinky fetish.

 

There are plenty of caption and blog sites that tackle both chastity and cross dressing/sissies without humiliation. Indeed, it was only as a subset of fictionmania stories that I knew some people did.

I think it's great that there are so many people here who don't bring in the humiliation. To be fair, most of the humiliation out there isn't, it's pretend. Like the idea.

Still, yes, I have spent most of my life wrestling with my urge to cross dress and to engage in chastity. Only now, some twenty years on, have I actually done the latter. It was 2005 when I decided to embrace the cross dressing. The road is perilous enough.

Happy that some people use it to debase or see it as lesser, carry on. But no desire to see it as lesser myself. My own self esteem issues see to that, thank you.

 

Thank you again Katy dear for starting this great thread. I think the idea the womens clothes make one inferior can be very harmful in several contexts......lets keep this thread alive to develop our thinking further.

 

Oh I do agree with that perspective on it. The problem is labels at times are needed mainly for other people's benefit which is why I used them so nobody thinks what I write sounds like I'm out of my mind. To an extent I don't really like the term transgender in all honesty because I'd rather just say I'm simply me but that doesn't explain things clearly to others. From my own view whatever I do just feels normal and that includes my sexuality but sometimes I question things when I probably shouldn't. Guess that's still my one failing but I'm working at it.

 

Dear Katy.....I think you are on the right track with your thinking.....let's hold that thought of the devine feminine.

 

I am into humiliation so please mock me for it.

While I enjoy that element I certainly enjoy the other parts of our chastity relationship that many have touched on here. I consider it a privilege to serve my Wife/KH/Mistress and do so in a loving way. One of my favorite such activities is making her breakfast in bed on the weekend. The act of getting up early and preparing her meal and presenting it to her on a tray as she wakes is a moment I look forward to all week.