Saga of the Fatkid

As I said, my wife has recently agreed to participate in a FLR with me. How did we start? Well, not to go too far back, but we have been together for over 20 years, and as it goes, we don't get physical as much as we used to. I had some realizations about the situation late last year and came to a conclusion that it would like to change not only my own mindset about or relationship, but encourage her to as well.

To describe us as individuals, I am definitely the hopeless romantic, and she is well...vanilla...Not a risk taker in any part of her life. She also grew up in a house where PDA between her parents was zero.

I approached her with a very heartfelt letter saying that I love her very much and think about her constantly. I also explained to her that being the more romantic one of the two of us it was getting increasingly hard to be turned away most of the time when I ask for intimacy. It was very personal for my to be rejected. I vowed to her that I would no longer ask for sex, but would defer to her to initiate intimacy. I pledged my love to her, my soul, and my body. I pledged my submission to her.

Initially she was shocked. We discussed my feelings right away that night. She was intimidated by implications of this responsibility. I told her not to look at it that way, it was I that had submitted to her, and her wishes are mine to fulfill. I told her the largest part of what I wanted her to control is intimacy.

I mostly left her alone with the topic to mull over. I told her she could think about it as long as she needed. I would rather wait and be accepted in 6 months than denied immediately. I did put a book or two in front of her to learn some, but they were just not a topic she could get into. Roughly 10 days ago I requested that when she is up to it, I would like to discuss the topic some more.

Surprisingly she seemed quite open to the conversation. We discussed what my realistic expectations were. I asked her if she had noticed the things I was already doing differently around the house, and she had noticed. I explained that she could always expect this treatment. She did comment that she really did like the changes. I said that if we did this almost all the books and articles I had read suggested having an agreed set of rules.

Later that night we ended up in the bedroom. I used the proposed new rules, putting her first. I did not receive personal pleasure that night. She apologized, but I told her that it is a role and circumstance I have already accepted.

We cuddled afterwards, and I asked her if she accepts me. She said yes.
Now we move forward.

 

Not yet. I've only just in the past few days come to realize that I want it. I fear it is still too early on in the new version of our relationship to ask for another big change. I don't want her to panic and back out altogether.

 

My first goal is of course to be a better lover for her with the logic of she enjoys intimacy more, she will want it more. #Problems
1. I am not big at all.
2. I struggle to control myself long enough to be inside her, often not even becoming hard enough before I go off.

So easy step one is to try a cock ring without her knowing. I started by experimenting with rubber 0-rings around my shaft, sack, and full package. I have done this for a couple weeks. I have also been looking at other things on the web such as sleeves to block sensation for myself. The way it looks to me, if I wear one of these and a condom underneath to contain any mess, I should be able to stay in her as long as she wants, and even enter regardless if I am hard. That is the whole idea anyway, her always before me.

This week I bought a simple plated ring of the appropriate size and have begun training with it. I love the feel, but will have to invest in more boxer shorts. Ha! My next move I would like advice on.
Do I:
1. Explain it and show it to her in hopes that she will let me perform with it on for her?
2. Ask if I can buy some things for myself to help increase my ability to satisfy her? With this option I would ask her if she would like to see what I am thinking, and have her browse with me if she likes. If she would, I'll show her all three items, C-ring, sleeve, and cages. If she gives permission but leaves it all to me unsupervised, I would go ahead and buy all three.

Would love to hear opinions.
Remember, she is still somewhat reluctant and quite vanilla.

 

I usually suggest when people are already married for some time and expressing interest in chastity, to plainly ask them to help you control a bad habit.

You are correct that my motive is different. For me this is another expression of devotion to her.

 

It wouldnt be very truthful, I do not masturbate often...honestly once/twice per month.

 

So, big day...had a sit down with Beautiful this afternoon basicaly to find out if I am behaving appropriately, and that the terms of our FLR were acceptable. She said it has been a very pleasant experience for her so far, and has no complaints. This was very pleasing and reassuring to hear. I thanked her, kissed her hand and said that as time goes on I will be surrendering more of myself to her as time goes on.

She asked if I had anything else to say. I admitted I do, but was scared to ask. I asked pre-emptively if I could ask about intimate Things, as that generally is not a common day to day subject for her. She said I could ask. I asked if I could buy some things to hep me please her. She said yes! She did ask, "like what?" I offered for her to look with me but she backed down and decided she trusted me and didnt want to know up front. I told her i would let her know when stuff arrives, but would not show her until she decided she was ready and asked.

Now I get to shop for my first cage!

 

I ended up going the cheap route for what will be “trainers” off Amazon. I got a HT knockoff in clear, and a steel 271. I also ordered a penis sleeve and numbing spray.

 

Dude, totally agree. Give me some time to catch up on your history, and we will talk.

 

@WEC, I have read most of your posted history and would like to have a side conversation on FLR if you would like. I see a lot of similarities in our journeys.

 

Both of my first two cages are supposed to deliver tomorrow. I am so excited, nervous, and scared I could barely eat. Keep in mind Beautiful knows I have ordered "items to help me satisfy her," but certainly not chastity devices. I have a play in mind, though. I will leave her a note in the morning that delivery is expected, and as what is mine is her's, she has every right to open it if she wants but some things may need explanation. Or she can ask to see them when she is ready.

 

Another con related to knock-offs, these keys are way to ugly for a bracelet or necklace. Lol

 

I’ve driven Chinese forklifts with prettier keys. Bad enough I doubt I will even suggest it.

 

Moving forward, I have had an eventful last 24 hours. First a little more back ground for context. We relocated a year and a half ago because of a great job offer for me...like more than the both of us were making together by a substantial margin. Since moving Beautiful has been a stay-at-home mom after 14 years at a big box store. So, huge adjustment#1. We moved to a town of less than 1000 people with one gas station, bar and steak house 20 miles from the nearest , well, anything. This coming from a lifetime (for her) in towns in excess of 15k-25k populations. Huge adjustment #2. We are also at least 200 miles from any of her family for the first time in her life. Huge adjustment #3. She has never done well with change and challenges. She also does not handle conflict well.
When I approached her about the FLR and explained my reasoning, she actually understood it, an honestly has been adapting and rolling with it much better than I hoped. Honestly, I did not expect her to ease into it -MAYBE- in 6 months.

On with it now.

Last night I had told here that the first two packages would arrive today, and she had every right to open them if she wanted.."Hmm" she said, and went back to her phone. The kids went to bed at 9-ish, as school kids should. At 9:30-ish she came over and kneeled in front of my chair and said, "I am going to go clean myself, and then tell you about the dream I had today during my nap. (she likes naps) You go turn on the electric blanket and warm up the bed." First, I was proud and turned on by the direct instructions. Second, sex on a Tuesday? Are we in college again? We have been on a very regular once per month, most certainly on only Saturday nights routine since we moved here.

First instinct...thank got she is going to take a bath. I was wearing the cock ring she did not know about. Second instinct...panic, hoping I could perform. She came in from the bath in typical jammies for her: shorts, tee-shirt, panties, no bra. I was in bed waiting, just my boxer-briefs as typical for me. She lifted the covers and said directly (again, awesome) "you need to take those off". Yes, Beautiful...Her hand instantly grabbed me.dream, blah-blah, "and then you fucked me harder than ever. If you would have been home when I woke up, I'd have fucked you right then." I was hard right now. "Hmm, looks like you need to be inside me." People, I haven't been that hard in years, and haven't stayed that way for that long in even longer...didn't look at a clock, abut I am guessing at least 10 minutes. As we bumped along, she told me about my dick and kissed me. I asked if she wanted to know what I bought. She said yes, so I told her about most items,except the cages. Those I told her it was not the time and held back. Once i finished, we cuddled for quite some time. Normally she leaves right away, but she stayed and eventually had me get her off. We cuddled some more, then she finally went back downstairs to watch more TV. I went to sleep

So, both of my cages arrived today...UPS...Stay at home mom...*sigh*...I walked in tonight, and was told my packages were on my dresser. The kids were watching TV, she was balancing the checkbook, and it was not time to cook yet. (I've done all the cooking for at least 10 years.) Up I went to open boxes. Had to fit one right away. Right? So I put the steel one on and went down and started working in the kitchen. Didn't take long and Beautiful came in and started talking to me...slightly nervous and awkward... She then went back to what she was doing, I got the meal to a point I could walk away and went and took the cage back off. *big fat chicken*

After supper she again became engaged in something on the computer, so I slipped back up stairs to see if I could fit the plastic one quick. Not long after here she came up the stairs....stripped it off, shoved in drawer, plop on the bed pretending to check facebook. She asked, "so why does one package clank?" I gave the honest answer, "It is made of steel, duh." She laughed, what is it like handcuffs and stuff?
No.
I'm just curious now.
Do you want to see?
yes.
I will tell you first.
I told her that it was for me, something I had chosen to do for her, then showed her. I explained my logic of focussing on her, and it being a devotion to her. Honestly, she seemed amused. I expressed the idea that I would put the keys in the same spot, and one day when she decides the time is right, they are freely hers.

We went on and talked us some more. I did another check in to see if anything in our relationship was just too much. She said no, the experience so far has been very good for her.

Wow, what a day.

 

Not awesome news. In conversation I was open to my wife about joining this forum, with reasoning behind it. She was not a fan of the idea. A proud moment though when she told me I need to ask her when I do things first. Anyway she says she is just not sure how she feels about the forum and needs to think on it.

I must follow her instruction, so I will be silent for a while. If I come back I certainly will have much to tell. If not, I learned a great deal quickly from many of your tales of lessons learned, and I thank you all greatly.

I hope to be back.
Fatkid