Education of my man

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Phebusa, Feb 27, 2020.

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  1. Phebusa
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    I'm happy of the new progresses of my man. but it's a long and an harsh way. It's his will to be dominate. I wouldn't loose all I 'd gain. He cooks better. He argues less.
    And my sexual life is better because he stays in cage. I can sleep without being bothered in the night or early the morning. And I had forbidden him to wank. Because he shaked the bed the evening and I couldn't find my sleep. So I've gain more sleep. One good point.
    He cooks every meals because before he stayed on his computer and I was exhausted at every end of the afternoons. I have a lot of tendinous pains and carpal tunnal syndrome so I couldn't do anything. And I had fallen angry.... Because , he made everythings what he wanted and I was too exhausted and in pain to do only one thing for me in the day...I 've the mental load of the couple. I'm weak, lack of stamina, full of pains so we find the way of the male chastity to have a better life for me.

    He loves to be submitted. It's difficult for me but it 's the only way he finds to be a better husband. And for me not to feel insecurity, no to be harassed like it was the norme...
    But he needs to be always oversees because he doesn't understand the necessities of the homecare.
    He only does what I expressly ask for. I'm sure if I go in the kitchen, the sinks , the kitchen counter and the sponges will be not washed. I'm sure that the bottle of oil and others things stays on the table and were not in the fridge or in the cupboards. I must say everything, supervise every little details and it's tiresome too...

    How can I put in his head my will gently?
    This page will be use as the journal of his progress.
    Any advices ?
     
  2. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    Road to perfection is complicated for her and me as we do not really know what we want, if you have any idea or if you have some counsel to give her feel free to do it here. I will use this thread to be exposed.
     
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  3. WhiteKnight
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    First of all in an FLR he needs to learn that he needs to do (every)thing your way - because, right or wrong, that is the way you want it done and it is his job to make to you happy and your life easier by doing things that way. You should only have to show or tell him things once and it is his job to remember them. If you forgets, or worse is deliberately doing things other than the way you want then he must expect to be punished - and should regularly acknowledge and accept this. Punishment can be way of extending his chastity lock-up, or physical, painful, punishment: designed to make sure that he remembers not to forget. A list or jobs / chores on a daily / weekly / monthly basis is also a good idea . . . but doesn't directly address the problem of them not being done the way you want. Punishment does not have to be physical, if that's difficult for one or other of you, it can be replaced by 'corner time', lines or loss of privileges: anything that is humiliating, he will hate and REALLY not want to repeat. You could also consider some form of Contract and Agreement where he pledges to obey and serve how - and just how he is going to do this - you could have weekly 'management meeting' to review what he has done well, and badly, the previous week and where he renews his pledge by reading or reciting it out loud.
    Hope this helps. Best of luck on your journey and keep us posted.
     
  4. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    He sounds like many men, not having grown up learning to do domestic chores, as they were done for him by mother or other females in his life. So you have to understand he needs training. I agree with others, that he needs to learn to do his chores the way you wish them to be done. But it might be useful for you to take some time up front to both supervise his initial domestic efforts as well as provide him a list of chores. The list can be a basis for what he is to do each day, week or whatever frequency needed. This is time consuming on your part, but it should led to him knowing more what to do, so in the long run it will save you time and make life easier. A FLR takes time to establish, but having him in chastity should greatly increase your odds for success. Good luck and I hope he realizes how truly lucky he is.
     
  5. de_smokey
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    de_smokey Member

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    Nice to read that.
     
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  6. johnjames55
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    johnjames55 Long term member

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    [QUOTE="Phebusa, pAny advices ?[/QUOTE]
    He shouldn't really need it but why not give a written list of things he must do, some daily some weekly, reward and punishment works well with behaviour modification, The electric devices available can cause a lot of pain as I notice you have joint problems and striking may be difficult for you. Reward, what does he like? cross dressing, foot/shoe worship? massaging you? small rewards if he performs well.
     
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  7. Chasteslavehubby
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    Chasteslavehubby Chaste Loser

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    I would suggest disciplining him/ extending his time locked when those things arent done. If you find a sink full of dishes or small things he should have done, but didnt. After a while you wont need to instruct or over see him, he will do those things on his own, because he doesnt want to be punished for his negligence... it wasnt ever really a problem for my wife and i, because I love being of service to her. But if I slip up and forget to do something around the house I'm almost immediately given an extra 2 weeks
     
  8. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Expectations have the be outlined. You don’t have to go into fine details, I assume he’s an adult. If for example you expect him to keep the kitchen clean, and he just washes the dishes and leaves things on the counter or unwashed, you tell him he didn’t do a very good job. Tell him some of the stuff that he missed, and say you expect him to anticipate your needs, punishment will begin if they are not met.

    If I was told to clean the bathroom and all I did was wash the sink, she would be upset. Mostly because I took the path of least resistance and did the bare minimum, thinking of myself and not the both of us. Adults can infer what is meant and not just what is said.
     
  9. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    I give you some update, we are still working and make progress on this.
    I work and obey more and more, obediance is more effective and her wishes are done now with very few complains.
     
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  10. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Make him keep a journal. In the front are your written rules followed by expectations. Daily tasks, weekly tasks and monthly tasks. You dictate , he writes. Give instructions for each task with procedures. If you give him additional tasks, make sure he writes them down and understand what is expected. He can be the first ISO 9001 certified subbie! Lol

    Punishments should be clearly spelled out in rules and if you are serious, they can’t be anything he will look forward to. He can add to procedures for clarification then write it out as many times as you think he needs to so that he remembers. A firm paddling works wonders too!

    Just remember that you have to give a sub enough of what they desire so you can keep them motivated. If they feel locked and forgot, they get bratty real quick.
     
  11. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    I love it when you get real life, excellent advice.
     
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  12. Houston Mistress
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    They feel bratty by they didn’t get their way. Don’t worry though we will be implementing the journal and you will definitely understand the punishments!
     
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  13. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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  14. Houston Mistress
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    That’s right you should be worried.
     
  15. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    I must confess that whilst I am willing to perform tasks around the house, whether on my own initiative or ordered, that I always do them differently to my Mistress's expectations.

    I just do them different, or there tasks that don't occur to me that need done. That is difficult to predict, and I've mentioned in the past that Lady C needs to be more detailed with her instructions. I have the same problem with subordinates at work.

    Difference is Lady C can wield a riding crop or whip and teach me her expectations
     
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  16. billzboats
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    billzboats 63rd birthday

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    I am only four months in. Still trying to find device. But the one thing that I have learned is that you need to give it time. We all have to appreciate this big change in our personalities. My wife loves that I help her, but if I am out mowing, she will do the dishes so that I won’t have to.
     
  17. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    The main problem is related to up and down in vanilla life.

    I have a journal but filled it every day, as I am not forced to, same for chores, sometime I miss some.
    Also does my wife, she forget to order me, you have to know that she is very vanilla and in love with me, she is the kind of girn that usually never say "no" and was used to accept anything.

    Now things has evolved a lot, I do some chores and there are a lot to improuve but I do it. Especially the ones she dislike. I take care of my daughter, and do my wife's desire when she wants.

    She is strange but I obey her desire, two days ago she says she wants a massage but does not dare to asks for it. As I was not doing it anyway she had none for weeks but she does not complains.
    It is hard for her to know what she really wants.

    On some points she advances, I am partly feminized and now my facebook and skype as me feminised as profile picture. She says she likes me a lot in woman but she still need a man and she also like me as a man with a penis.
    Last 2 days she demands lesbian sex, no penis involved and for her only pleasure. She is changing more and more, evolving also to a more dominant but still vanilla woman.

    We tried the numbling (for me) and she loves it, but she does not love the cage but like to keep me on honnor.
    She decided for holidays where she goes and I will go to work and take care of the home while she will be on holiday. She also hold the account money, my credit card is locked for on line shopping.
    I have to asks her before buying someting else than the food.

    Of course I coock for her every day and serve her, most of the time on the knee. I am trying to telle her and she is not opposed now to that idea, that when I serve and please her I wear a collar. she found that revolting last year but not this one.

    So now I am an obediand guy who do what she decided. Still work to do but I guess feminization is the way and it is the one that she agree for me to follow (at least a little).

    Evolution is still on the way, it is now 3 years we began and things are moving.
     
  18. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Long term member

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    a slave that whose only expectation of you is food, clothes and housing is probably not what most submissives believe their relationship will become. a slave or robot who does everthing just the way you want it without fail is a nice pipedream. thinking that somehow your spouse should emulate the slave consciousness and make your life one of leisure and freedom of restraint maybe the farthest thing from what he desires in spite of what he may mouth.
    often when i read about mistress/submissive relationships they seem unrealistic and unsustainable. the expectations of many xys seem porn and testosterone driven. the burden of their needs are expected to fall squarely on their mistress's shoulders. yet what the mistress is led to believe is they will serve her every whim without any expectation of beneficial treatment. for most of us who live a power exchange relationship 24/7/365 understand that all parties concerned must contribute to as much as we get from the relationship. admittedly each of our contributions are different as are our expectations but for each party the exchange must be equal to the benefit.
    i too had difficulties with wanting things done my way and not being able to get the full cooperation i desired. there is a difference between you and i for my xy did not desire to be dominated but i desired to dominate him. so in the ma'at lifestyle it is the xx that assumes all responsibility for both her and his actions. yes that means the ma'at has the full burden of the relationship but eventually the full cooperation of the puck(xy). expectations are spelled out, even written out so not forgotten, then the chore or action is completed, i inspect and/or evalulate and then give my puck positive or negative reinforcement. it is not about making life easier for myself but about a more fulfilling lifestyle. as it turns out more gets done in less time with less discussion and as time went on more things were done as i wanted though often requiring more clarifications.. though all xys are not the same most perceive an intimate relationship as sexual in nature but not necessarily requiring sex. it does not take much, a passionate kiss, a hug or feel, a pat on the butt and a kind smile. it is the closeness of doing things together, recieving positive affirmation and believing the lifestyle is benefitting him that makes it work .yes you should feel the benifit as well if not more. oh... and lets not forget a lot of training.
     
  19. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    My wife makes fun of me all the time for the lists I keep. Things I need to do in the house, or yard, or just personal errands i want to make sure I complete. If she was more accepting of my submissive desires, she could really benefit, as I would put all the household chores on a list or in a journal so she could verify I completed them. As it is, i do many chores just because i like to do my share or more. So if you're lucky enough that your KH, spouse, or significant other takes the time to educate, monitor, and correct you, then embrace and enjoy.
     
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  20. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    @Ma'at Rebekah - I have read many of Your posts and I am completely intrigued as they mirror many conversations that Mistress and I have. Would You consider sharing some books or articles about the Ma'at Lifestyle with Mistress Davenport and I? -nancy
     
  21. DarkKnight
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    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

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    Ma’at was the goddess of truth, justice, balance, and most importantly - order. In paintings, she was depicted as a woman who is either sitting or standing with an ostrich feather on her head and, in some cases, she was depicted with wings. According to the creation myths, Ma’at was created when Ra arose from the waters of Nun (chaos). Ma’at was often considered to be the daughter of Ra and was married to Thoth, god of wisdom.

    However, Ma’at was more than just a goddess to the ancient Egyptians. She represented the crucial concept of how the universe was maintained. The ancient Egyptians believed the universe had an order to it, and it was Ma’at who kept everything in balance. This helped the ancient Egyptians develop a strong sense of morality and justice. Ma’at was extremely important in achieving the Afterlife. According to Ancient Egyptian mythology, after the death of the body, everyone had to pass through the Hall of Judgment, where a person’s heart was weighed on a scale against Ma’at’s feather of truth. If the deceased person’s heart balanced with Ma’at’s feather, they could continue their journey to the Afterlife. If not, their journey ended. This influenced the daily actions of the ancient Egyptians.

    https://egyptianmuseum.org/deities-Maat
     
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  22. Houston Mistress
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    But one should practice that advice(JESSICA). I’d hate to have to extremely punish my poor neglected bratty sissy.
     
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