Put some light on this too…

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Sissy_nora, Dec 11, 2021.

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  1. Sissy_nora
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    Sissy_nora Sam_inndiii

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    Hello everyone,

    This is regarding i am super submissive by my nature and i have a gf who is dominant and really controls me.
    But sadly some times comes when she commands me something and i really dont wanna do it.
    Example: she asks me to do dishes but my male ego comes in or while we are having an argument i become hyper.
    How to deal with it please help me in this ?
     
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  2. BlokeDenied
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    BlokeDenied Long term member

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    #2 BlokeDenied, Dec 11, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2021
    You must stop defying. You could compromise by negotiating to do it in x minutes...but at the end of the day something like doing the dishes is a basic contribution to the household...and basic chores such as that do not even attract a reward...beyond sharing the workload and lessening the burden on your gf, who then in turn will appreciate you more and is likely to respond to your needs more.

    Communication is key though. Communicate deeply, authentically and often. Perhaps you can agree on a punishment when you go alpha. Your gf dishes it out and you accept and suffer the consequence. This may be a good opportunityb to draw up a contract. Have you two read any resources together? Evolvingyourman.com...Key Barrett books, or others?

    If you are truly committed to chastity, your willingness to serve should come naturally...that seems to be the theme I see over and over in everyone's journey, and it is a positive experience for both partners. So lock your gf's cock and honour her. No ifs or buts.

    Oh, I don't know how hands on you still are with your little pecker, or how much sex you're getting but you should really try going hands off and dry for 2-3 weeks while still serving gf and satisfying her needs. Only then will you truly feel good with this lifestyle and get it. It can be amazing.
     
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  3. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    I grant you I am different here but helping with chores isn't about submissive or male/ ego. It is about the relationship. If you are in one you automatically step up and pitch in. I would hope that when she asks for a little help she does it in a nice way rather than demanding. Control does not mean curtesy goes out the door.
    You have to change your mindset to one of being in a relationship and wanting to help because it needs to be done and you appreciate her and her time and needs and wants.
     
  4. Tamed Male
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    Tamed Male Active member

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    I think it depends a lot on what you both want from the relationship, and how demanding your GF wants to be.

    If the balance of labor is intended to be relatively equal but she gets to be dominant, then I agree with the other two commenters, that you should just help for it’s own sake and not expect every chore to be about submission.

    However if your GF is into dominance and control for its own sake, she is going to expect you to obey her even when you don’t want to, and it won’t be fair.

    Neither of these two styles is better than the other. It’s just a question of understanding what she wants and whether you can give it to her.

    My suggestion is that you apologize to her sincerely for resisting and arguing. Then ask her about what she expects in terms of when you get to disobey or argue. Let her know that you want clear guidance as to what her expectations are so that you can learn to do better. Don’t negotiate or offer alternatives to what she says. Listen and write everthing down. If you ask questions, be careful that they are only for clarification and not intended to undermine what she is saying she wants.

    Then, think carefully about whether you can do things the way she wants.
     
  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Do what you're told. Pretty simple.
     
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  6. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    You say you are super submissive, but get into an argument when she asks you to do the dishes.

    Are you sure that;
    1. You really are submissive and not a bottom?
    2. You have fully accepted your submissiveness?

    A true submissive is unlikely to struggle with doing housework. As far as dominance is concerned, that is a pretty basic request.

    You might want to take some time to think about why her request upsets you.
     
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  7. Lady&sub
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    Lady&sub Active member

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    My thoughts too:

    Can add that many think (in their fantasy) that they are more submissive than they are in reality (myself included some times :)).
     
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  8. Locked in love
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    Locked in love Long term member

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    probably easiest to do the dishes.
     
  9. rwpLocked
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    rwpLocked Long term member

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    Exactly. It's easy and fun to be submissive in the bedroom, because it's something you enjoy. Once you're doing something 'in real life' your submissive nature has to compete with other interests, and sometimes that can be tough to sustain.

    One of the great things about the pairing of 24/7 chastity and FLR is that it brings some of that 'bedroom energy' into your everyday life. Having no access to your penis can make it easier to touch your submissive nature, but you still have to make the effort.

    When you feel defiant I would try and connect back to that submissive nature and remind yourself how much you enjoy being under control or in service.

    If that doesn't work, maybe the dynamic needs a little adjustment or tuning up, and that's probably going to require pressing pause on the FLR dynamic and talking it out.
     
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  10. slvdanielle
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    slvdanielle Long term member

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    this should Never be an issue-are u HER submissive? if so do as SHe tells-asks-demands it is your place to do with no Questions asked EVER sounds like u need a couple of very severe beatinds in your position u do not have the right to argue or refuse Her get on your knees crawl to Her and beg to be forgiven aand punished
    slvdanielle
     
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  11. bsteve
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    bsteve Junior Member

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    Wait. I don't get it. She asks you to do dishes and you don't want to do it, and that is a problem? How?

    Firstly, as a submissive, you should be very happy that she is asking you to do this for her. Getting ordered around is what submissive live for. I, like many subs, would be happy to be told that.

    Secondly, even if you were in a vanilla relatuonship, if a wife asks her husband to help out doing dishes, any reasonable husband would do it. Even without FLR, this should not be a problem.

    Thirdly, dishes need to be done. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that. Just get the dishes done. Not because you are told to do so, but because you are an adult.

    Fourthly, dishes are not that difficult to do. It is not like she is asking you to quit your job and be a houseservant, or asking you to cut off your relationship with your family. It is just dishes. It takes 10, 15 minutes.

    Fifthly, yes, I get that you don't want to do dishes. That's fine. But who cares? My kids tell me that they don't want to do chores or go to school, and I just tell them that's ok, but that it makes no difference and that they still will do their chores and go to school. I don't want to go to work, but I still do, because it has to be done. One's view on whether one wants to do something that needs to be done is irrelevant. Just do thing that you do not want to do.

    I hope that I am just misunderstanding your post.
     
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  12. subhubandy
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    subhubandy CFnm loving sub hubby

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    Geez, Queen gone and dishes in sink need done before she gets home. And, here I am on CM...
     
  13. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    :rolleyes:

    It happens.

    Same here.
     
  14. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    My modest proposal.
    Shut up and do what your gf tells you to do. Say "Thank you mistress" and obey.
    What is the problem?
    Your ego has no part in this.
     
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  15. Sissy_nora
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    Sissy_nora Sam_inndiii

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    Hello everyone,

    Thanks for your guidance and when i said washing dishes i meant about the house hold work but still i get your point.
    Thanks for it.
    will surely try to put my make ego down and follow her commands
     
  16. Trapped
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    Trapped Long term member

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    It sound as though you already know the roles. Play your part.
     
  17. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    yeah, just do it
     
  18. madams-sissysub
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    I agree, just do as your ordered. It makes like so much simpler.
     
  19. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    I have a tendency to be the same - its the brat in me that always wants to rebel against the institution, authority etc. Lady C deals with it in a no-nonsense way starting with raising her voice and calling me by my full name.

    If that doesn't work she stomps off and gets one of her nastier straps.

    But the bottom line is best you do it with a good grace when she first asks, even outwith the domme/sub relationship.
     
  20. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    I agree with @BlokeDenied Communication must be at the foundation of any real relationship.

    If you are truly submissive, you will accept the responsibility and have your housework chores completed even before She gets home. It is simply part of your submissive responsibilities to carry your part of the load. After I learned this, not to Top from the bottom and not to beg for release, we both settled into our roles and have been enjoying our FLR ever since.
     
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  21. Lisa43
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    Lisa43 Long term member

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    A sissy that is fully feminized is less likely to display male ego. It hard (sorry poor choice of words) it is difficult to feel masculine when dressed in a short mini, 4inch heels, a very small and securely locked caged, earrings, hair done up nicely, and breasts in a tight-fitting top. If that is not enough KH could attach a wireless electrical device (shock collar) to make sure sissy knows her place.
     
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  22. antos
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    antos Member

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    Male feminization is for us abomination. I must be a real man and obedient to the woman.

    Ego is the problem? Maybe consensual punishments would help.
     
  23. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i wud do the dishes fast if i was you cos if you dont. what migt happen is what this man sayed.

     
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  24. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    You want her to be dominant don't you?
    Then play the game.

    If she asks you to be submissive by doing the dishes, and you aren't playing the game, then she'll lose interest too. Now you don't want that, do you?
     
  25. Mtzlplik
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    Mtzlplik Active member

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    Or, you don’t step up and help out. Instead, you realize you are in a relationship and absolutely everything around the home is a responsibility for both of you. Sure, you can compromise, like I cooked, you wash. But, to assume she should do dishes and laundry and you not keep up your share of the work is both immature and selfish. Regardless of your kinks and what not, your non-kink life together should be a resounding 50:50 split, each doing what needs to be done because it needs to be done. Beyond that, if your kink relationship is such that it leans FLR, and you are submissive, you do it for gratification of both of you. Now, if your point is that you are sexually submissive, but not necessarily outside of a play context, then you need to twist everything vanilla in your mind into something you have to do for release/sexual play. I think a lot of times we start chastity to our own selfish fetishes and desires, hoping our partners will do all the crazy, fucked up fantasies running around in our heads. When reality sets in, well, that old phrase, “be careful what you wish for…”, as the women typically make chastity about what she wants, not what you fantasized. Ultimately, remember this is your partner, and you should respect each other enough to do the chores that need doing, and not consider it “helping her out”.
     
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