Hey there, This thread is specifically for those in permanent chastity. I am a bit over 100 days into simple, straight forward permanent chastity. This is not D&S, I am not a slave or sissy. And, except for chastity, not really submissive.There is no tease & denial, no milking & no mention of chastity whatsoever. She still enjoys massages, foot rubs and loves to sleep nude together, but she has zero physical desire. Yes, it's different, but it's what makes her happy and what I agreed to. So please, no sniping. I would like to hear your stories. The who, what, why & when. Who initiated the idea? Why did whichever partner want it? What does your permanent chastity consist of? Do you still have physical/sexual contact? Are you still happy? Is she? What, if anything, would you change? How has your relationship changed? How has each of you changed? Permanent Keyholders are welcome to contribute. I'm just really interested in what others have found. Are there similarities that I can expect to experience? Are there things that I've never even considered? Thanks in advance for your contributions. Les
Well, we've started chastity for over 2 month now. Longest i've been caged is only 10 days but I think my story is similar to your's. Permanent is still my fantasy. While i'm not there yet, it already changed our relation in a good way. Wife has very little sex drive and I have a lot! I've been interested in chastity for a couple of years now but only this summer I purchased my first device, an Holytrainer v2. I used to masturbate a lot (3 to 6 time a week) but only recently I've talk to my wife about that. Obviously she was NOT happy and she finally agreed (and decided) that a chastity device would be a good idea. So chastity was my idea at first but she seems to like it! We used to make love about once per week (and we still do) but I know she's doing it "for me". I've said to her that I want to make love to her only when she desire me. She said "Well, I have no desire for sex honey. Only having you with me is enough". Communication is definately better between us now. She agreed to sleep nude for me now and to touch me more than she used. In return I let her control when I get to orgasm. Not masturbating is difficult but I prefer our relation now. I'm not a slave (maybe would like to...?) and she's not a dominatrix. In fact she agreed to have her 2 outer libia pierced for me last month. Once healed we plan to attach them together to prevent penetration. That way i'm pretty sure she won't let me orgasm if she can't. We're both 40 and together for 18 years. She confessed last week that chastity has change our relation in a good way. In fact I think she has more desire now and I can feel it. In the end, it's kinda funny (and strange); She have no interest in sex but she's not happy about me masturbathing while I love sex but have permanent chastity fantasy...Go figure! I'm not 100% sure we will live "permanent chastity" but we're both excited and curious about it... The ultimate goal is to have a better relation and I think we're in the right direction. Oh btw, first post here tonigh! I've registered to respond to your post... And english is my second language so bear with me. Mario
i admire your situation in the sense that you believe it is right for both of you, and that is all that matters. Our situation is a bit different and still unfolding. i am 135 days into my PC. i was locked on April 25th, this year. It was to be my longest lock-up ever, 100 days. On July 24th, with 2 weeks to go, my beautiful wife of 25 years decided to tell me, as we lay in each others' arms, that my chastity would be longer than the aforementioned 100 days. i thought She might extend it until my birthday, in September. Instead, She made it very clear, there would be no more orgasms for me. None. At all. I was more than a little shocked. We had talked about working up to it in time. We had been increasing the length of lock time for two years previous. She said She was ready to keep me chaste. i asked if She was really serious. She looked me dead in the eye and said, without a moments hesitation, "I promise, I will NEVER allow you to cum again." This came from the mouth of a Woman i know to have NEVER broken a promise in the 26 years i have had the pleasure to know and love Her. On an even more personal note, on my 100th day, i had my 3rd heart attack. Even in the ER, in the few moments we were alone, i asked if She would consider allowing me to cum if they said i was truly dying, again She replied, "No sweetie, I promised." She did allow some daytime freedom on my Labor Day/Birthday weekend. She didn't edge me. She just gave me a few erections each day to remind me of what i will be missing when She decides i don't need those anymore, either. i do truly love this Woman.
Interesting. I cannot do chastity unless I am teased and denied at least twice a week. Right now my wife cannot have sex for the next 2-5 months due to her health so we tried no chastity and then chastity and currently back to no chastity. I cannot go more than a few days without teasing and denial. I could not go months without sex as all chastity does for us is allow my wife to tease me and then bring me to a big orgasm after 2-3 weeks. Without the teasing and big O, all that is left is celibacy and I am not into that.
Our flavor of chastity is not for everybody, just as golden nectar is not for us. If you could only see the difference in my wife's outlook on life the last few months have brought about. 5 months ago, she was terribly worried her loss of desire would have a drastic negative effect on my adoration of her. Once I coaxed the truth of no desire from her and she saw how much I still loved, wanted & appreciated her, how totally accepting of the situation I was, it was as if a two ton burden had been lifted from her. And to make matters even better for her, at about the same time as her honesty about no desire came about, the Jailbird proved itself capable of long term wear. She was immediately and dramatically happier. And that, that right there? Her joy? That's what it's all about for me. That's what 'gets me off'. Her knowing that she'll never be pressured for sex, that she won't be reminded or hounded ever again, that my desire for her is so much more than physical, that her happiness is my happiness, all these have made her so carefree. Hell yes our style of chastity is worth all that to us. Don't think I'm her sub or slave or that I don't get crazy with lust at times, none of these is true. She still wants a man she can depend on and care for, she just doesn't want the burden of unwanted sex. It has been over 100 days in the cage and I am learning to control my urges, but it takes concentration to remember to keep my mind in check. Everybody has desires for how they wish their lives to go and basic, quiet, permanent chastity is ours. Thanks for all the comments.
what a wonderful posted reply iadmire your honesty. My wife never wanted this and from the moment i mentioned it to her she hated the idea, it has taken years of patience and failed stop starts to finally get to this wonderful moment in time for us BOTH! and that is the best part it is for us BOTH now not just me wanting more and more. We play the game at her pace now and to her chosen rules, i know what i am expected to do for her and she chooses what and when she will give me treats in return. Life has never been fuller or more enjoyable pleasure is giving her pleasure in whatever manner she wants.
@cagemeplease , so your wife has no desire for sex or for you, or both? Does she ever tease you? There could be a medical reason why she has no desire for sex, have you looked into that at all?
Knew, My wife is a bit older than me. At 64 she finds she has zero desire for sex and does not wish to pursue the hormone replacement route. She loves me and still enjoys massages, foot rubs and cuddling. We sleep nude and she enjoys body contact, just nothing sexual. No, I am not teased. There is no T & D, no milkings and no mention of chastity at all. My chastity is simply accepted as normal as a wedding ring and just as permanent.
cagemeplease, I admire your love for your wife. It takes someone special to take that kind of leap. Depending how long chastity remains in our life, I am sure we will be in the same boat. We are sort of living the style now, sort of. We are in our late 50's and my wife had next to no sexual drive and sex between us was basically non-existent. I introduced chastity to her and it was a struggle to get her to understand where I was going with it. Through a lot of patience and persistence on my part, she began to realize that any and all sex was totally in her hands without any pressure or guilt. She was never into vaginal and only did that for me. Now without the pressure to have intercourse, she is comfortable doing other sexual things to me as she sees it as foreplay. I have not had a full orgasm in 3 years and I also like not having pressure on me to perform sexually. We are like two young kids in love all over again, only better. She likes teasing me now when I am locked and far rarer when I get unlocked because it's on her terms and level of comfort. Sometimes months will pass without any activity, while other months she will drive me crazy. We have talked about permanence with her telling me that it could happen some day when she is done with her new fun. She knows if she ever decides to make this permanent like you without the teasing or stimulation or talking about it and so forth, she knows that she has my full support. At our age, I learned that our relationship far more important than anything else. So while at the moment we are living a permanent no full orgasm chastity lifestyle, it could change to permanent chastity at any time. I am sure that it takes a strong mindset to take your leap of faith.
Wow, that is commitment!! Hey if it works for you guys, great . Im quite a bit younger so I was just trying to understand. I love chastity but also need other things from her to keep my sanity. Cuddling and sleeping nude together could be considered teasing though even if it doesnt lead anywhere.
Never, Cuddling and sleeping nude are never to be considered teasing. She does NOT want to feel my caged crotch pressing into her any firmer than the rest of me. We do spoon when we head to bed and she can feel it against her ass. She once told me the feel of it was reassuring, but that was all. Seriously, sex is not discussed between us. Again, this is all about relieving her anxiety & stress about expectations. We are as asexual as two brothers. (Normal brothers). And our bond is also as strong as that of brothers.
Your chastity seems more for you than for her. i started out the same way. You have a real opportunity before you to change that. 2-5 months is a long time. Seriously, give it a shot. For me, as the lock times were increased, i found i developed a different perspective. So did my Wife. She saw changes in my level of aggression. She found me more pleasant to be around. My chastity became more a challenge to meet longer lock time goals. i don't know your situation. i only know we are closer now than we thought possible.
i admire your commitment. i think what you and your Wife have is a beautiful understanding. There's nothing more awesome!
Happy, To whom was this directed? You didn't specify and it seemed to miss the mark for hers & my relationship. If it was directed my way, please help me understand where you feel I'm shortchanging her. And thanks again for the replies.
i apologize profusely. it was meant for Vinny. i haven't yet figured out how to properly navigate. this is all new to me. i joined to find insight so i can better understand the emotional attachment to my chastity and why it makes me feel more intimately connected to my Wife.
Happy, It seems I should be the one apologizing. I just looked at the site as a guest from my other phone. As a guest, I was able to see that you had actually quoted Vinny's message. When I log in and read it, though, the quoted part doesn't show up. Hmmmmm, odd. But anyway, since you're new(to the entire idea?), WELCOME. Les
i don't has any spurty orgasm no more and am locked in a teeny cage. im my Mistress sissymaid tho and like a girl so i don't mind it any more. After a bit it nice.
Not so much new to the idea of chastity, just talking about it with someone other than my Wife. We started fooling around with the notion in mid 2012. After 2 heart attacks, i was having some performance issues due to all the meds the docs had me on. Not completely unreliable, but no where near what i was used to. My wife and i had always had a well above average sex life. She didn't have issue with the situation like i did. Chastity came into play as a means for me to deal with the anxiety i was having over not meeting my own sexual expectations. i figured if She didn't mind me not performing as often, She could keep it locked and i wouldn't feel as anxious. Worked pretty well. As we grew closer, the challenge to stay locked for longer periods became just that. My mood improved. She liked the extra affection. i was still concerned i wasn't giving Her the pleasure She deserved. She kept telling me She didn't need my cock to be happy with me. We had talked about PC, more as fantasy than fact. Her deciding my chastity would be permanent was Her way of proving Her point.