Ok, not the stuff of great solid D/s relationships, but i just want to say thank goodness there are professionals out there. i know, they take your money and it's all an act, well that's fine by me, if they make an hour or two seem real. i'm probably just another pathetic punter, but when things are a little lonely, some contact really does help. Plus they do have the most incredible shoe collections. Thank you ladies.
Women helping men indulge in fantasy gives men unrealistic expectations and makes women think that femdom/flrs are a certain way when they can be however they negotiate them with their partner objectively harms the spread of femdom/flrs. As initially crazy as it seems, we'd all be better off if there weren't professionals.
My Mistress has a friend from college who has been a Pro Domme for about 25 years. She takes all sorts of guys (and even couples) through all sorts of fantasies and BDSM experiences. I had not met Her until Mistress (who does not enjoy CP) decided to send me off to Her for a little "Discipline Session". The first time, I was really excited to go for the session and was then shocked by the humiliation, bondage and physical discipline that had been pre-discussed with Mistress and to which I was subjected. Since then, however, I now understand the ability of Pro Dommes to fill a great void. My second visit (A birthday gift from Mistress) went much differently - again with my needs pre-arranged by Mistress/Domme discussion. My Pro Domme experiences have been quit memorable, to say the least, but I can understand that such may not be for everybody.
I have been to a few in years past until I finally married my soul mate. My wife keeps me in line and punishes me as needed. She uses humiliation, CP, and bondage to get her point across. I could not be happier! The pro's are pro's. It's not personal but scratched an itch I had. Back then I was self locking and always made sure to wear my belt when I went. You learn from them what "does it" for you and what does not. It's like an education. I also loved the shoes especially the boots they wore.
I agree, @Jail Bird . Pro Dommes get a bad rap a lot of the time - mostly from people who have never so indulged. Many people perceive them as a "hooker with a whip", but having been to many Pros over the years, I have never found that to be the case. They never get involved with their clients, sexually or otherwise, but have a way of gleaning, very quickly, what makes a guy tick (whatever that is) and then utilizing this knowledge to control, tease, punish, and otherwise toy with his feelings and frustrations. On the 2 occasions where Mistress sent me to Her Pro friend, I was locked with a numbered, plastic lock for the Pro to cut and then took along my padlock to be locked in place for my return trip home. That gave the Pro access for Her to tease and frustrate me (No O), and then lock me up securely. Before I even got home, there was a discussion between Mistress and Her Pro friend in which Mistress learned some new things about me and how to better discipline and control me. You were correct in saying "You learn from them what "does it" for you and what does not. It's like an education" Many people go through life without learning many of these lessons. Their loss, IMHO.
I admit to mixed feelings about professional dominants. I have NO issue with them choosing to make money by exchanging fantasy role play with men. (or women) I just find the dynamic to be so contrived. If I am paying, then I am truly the one in charge. How do I know this? If I paid and didn't get exactly what I was hoping for, I simply won't pay for another session. Perhaps we can hear from someone who has experienced both sides of a woman's dominance: the paid and the "real". Can you explain how different it is--or isn't--to pay a woman to spank you compared to having a woman you really care about or are married to spanking you? I tend to agree with a poster above.....the pros may very well distort what a FLR is really like. Again, I have NO criticism of anyone who chooses the route of the pro--either as the provider or the purchaser. A long time ago I used to get a massage by a woman who'd give me the proverbial happy ending. I always paid my fee and tipped fairly well. I received many massages by her over the years. She'd treat me very nicely. Then ONE time I accidentally failed to make sure my wallet was stuffed with cash. It came time to pay and I was short. Deeply embarrassed I said I'd immediately rush to the cash machine to get more money. She was so angry she kicked me out and said to never come back. Honest mistake on my part--after seeing her dozens of times. She really exploded the opinion I have of the pro.
Unlucky may be right but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. To each his own. I would feel the same way about prostitution if there wasn’t such a large criminal element to it
I think there should be more pro dommes, then the guys can get it out of their system for a while and stop tasselling their wives to do it.
Yes, if they think logically. Visiting a pro domme doesn't involve having sex or anything sexual. Look at it as therapy.
I think you really do make a good point. Forgive my hasty response earlier. Although I DO think most women would blanch at the thought of seeing another woman in this way, you are probably right that some "training" would likely be helpful--particularly in getting the strange ideas out of a man's head. Truth be told: I feel that the best advice and training I could get to better treat my wife would come from another woman. .......if only a woman wanted to keyhold a man so that he could be better behaved for ANOTHER woman. Talk about a selfless act! Or would it be?
What is an FLR really like? It's different for different people. And many people in this kink don't want an FLR. They want companionship, understanding, exploration. All of that can sit outside an FLR. Pro dommes can satisfy the needs of many men. I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm personally uncomfortable with the idea of men telling either their wives or their dommes to do anything but the wives hiring and directing the dommes to do what they (the wives) would like done (to their husbands) might be interesting. Mistress Lucy posted something similar to this recently on another site I believe.
Early in my long marriage, when my wife was busy with raising the kids and not so interested in sex, I would visit a Pro Domme as a way of getting release without any real sex or forming a relationship. Somehow, I justified this in my mind as "not cheating", because there was no sex (except for a "happy ending".) There was no chance of my bringing home some STD or in forming a relationship with another woman, so I figured it was "Safe". It was always a fantasy and never about real dominance or submission (other than submitting my $$$). Now that I am in a true FLR, i can tell you that there is no comparison between the fantasy of a Pro Domme session and the reality of my real Mistress.
I totally agree but if a wife chose to have real discipline administered by the professional the physical effects would last just as long ….
People don't think about relationships logically. Also, if the indulging of the fantasies is pleasurable, it isn't hard to see situations where a man would leave his partner in an attempt to find one who would participate in them rather than outsourcing them. There are also fantasies that are ARE sexual.
So he should if his fetishes are that important to him. Or better still , he should have been more picky about who he married in the first place.
Thank you for the feedback Donna Sue. I suspect you are utterly correct. There is just something missing if you are doing the paying for a professional service.