As a Female what do you like to see in your submissive?

Since I’m a submissive I can only speak with regards to what I’ve learned from my Owner and that is:

Total and complete obedience and respect toward Her at all times and in every situation!

Do that and she will take you to new heights.

 

Things should not be overstated. The queen usually knows what she wants. Setting too many expectations can ruin the whole thing. Perhaps the basic rules that should guide everyone — respect, readiness, vigilance, obedience, and a willingness to help. There is nothing wrong with worship .

 

Here is what works for this woman. It is probably very different from how the majority of woman who are in to serious domme/sub relationships would respond.

In the bedroom I am definitely in charge. Hubby will hold me and caress me and wait for me to give him cues as to what I want, whether it be just cuddling or my fuzzy or oral or actual sex. There are times he will say he just wants to make me feel loved which is his way of saying he would rather not have an orgasm this time in case I was leaning that way. He will give me oral or whatever I want but he would prefer not to have actual sex that night. This is not as altruistic as it sounds because when we do that quiet PIV with no orgasms or he can take me to my fuzzy place and make me totally relax he feels every bit as good and loved as I do.

Outside the bedroom, I am in charge of our social life. I decide when we will go dancing or to a show or visit friends, etc. Other than that we are equals. He does most of the cooking because his shop is two minutes from the house and he can have supper almost ready by the time I get home. Plus he actually enjoys cooking. Since we both work full time, Saturday morning is normally for chores. We both do them till they are done so they take half the time. This way we have more time to do fun things together. Although we do fool around a little while we are doing the chores.

What makes me feel loved outside the bedroom are the little thoughtful things that I would hope most men here do automatically. When I come home from work he meets me at the door with a hug and a kiss. If we are out somewhere like the mall he always holds my hand. He carries the packages and he opens the doors for me. When we are alone together we talk. He actually cares and listens. He wants to hear about my day or an idea I might have or something I find interesting and he responds. He puts my little desires in some corner of his mind and when I least expect it one of them shows up. I remember last summer when he got some great fresh tomatoes in season and every morning he made me the fixings for a BLT to take to work with me so I could have my favorite sandwich instead of eating out of the vending machines in the cafeteria. The company quit selling actual lunches when Covid hit and never opened back up.

The most important thing though might be just how well he knows me. When I come in the door at night he knows instantly by looking at my face if I am tired and beat, or if I had a bad day where everything went wrong, or if I had a great day. If I try to hide it so I don’t burden him with my troubles he can still tell as soon as he hugs and kisses me and he’ll ask me what is wrong. If I have a bad day or I am whipped he will hold supper off a bit and sit me down. He will rub my shoulders or my feet and calves and let me vent. If I say I don’t want to talk about it he will patiently wait me out just gently massaging me until I crack and let it all out. He can read me like a book and he is always there for me whenever I need or want something.

He is not perfect though. Sometimes when I am happy I am playful happy but sometimes it is just because I feel loved and special. He has trouble knowing the difference. Like a couple weeks ago when he kind of ruined a romantic special moment by joking around. He is slowly learning though like on Valentine’s Day he did better. We may have to have another session or two with the ruler to help him learn. LOL Just kidding Hubby.

 

For me I love the attentiveness and submission he shows to me.
Sexual pleasure is on my terms, as to when I want it. He doesn’t get fiscal pleasure anymore, but gets great release and pleasure from seeing me happy and fulfilled.
I’m sure a lot of this comes from strict chastity and orgasm denial.
Being constantly horny and frustrated has changed his whole mind set.
Also the bi weekly discipline sessions helps also

 

This reply is so awesome

 

Thank you. I sometimes feel like we are so different from most of the people here. Then I remember that for most every one here, even if our approach is different, it is still about showing our partners how much we love them.

 

Gentlefemdom is a thing, and a very valid way for a dominant female to run her relationship. Possibly the most valid.

 

That's awesome @CuriousAndy ! It's sorta' the point of being a chaste husband, to our erections out of the way so we can think clearly and become more intimate loving husbands.

 

Exactly. Chastity, when I finally figured it out here at CM last summer, taught me what is important in the relationship. It is about my love for Missy not the sex. As I have mentioned a couple times now, When I show her that intimacy and love she returns it bigger and better.

 

This reminds me of something my father told me once when he was reminiscing about my mother. I don't think it was original because I have seen variations of it several places but it is so true.
He said anything he gave her she made better.
He gave her a car, she took him on a journey.
He gave her a house, she made it a home.
He gave her his love, she gave him her heart and soul.
He gave her his seed, she turned it into a loving family.
I don't believe for a minute they practiced chastity but he sure did know how important my mother was in his life. I only wish she had been alive for me in my teen years. She could have taught me so much. My first years with Missy might have been so much better if I knew then what I know now.

 

Yup. This. You'll get much more introspective over time ... and much more emotional.

 

In a lesser way this is something I at times like to achieve/establish. Opening her door, is one of them.
Giving my Miss the time to relax is another.
This is something I did before introducing chastity and is always appreciated.
For the men who do not, just try it. It will give them a smile, which in turn gives me a smile.

 

My wife say.
He do his chores and stop complaining.
he don't jump on me for sex anytime now and I can say no it now. I have no more marital sexual obligation.

For the rest, like opening the door, eating after her and so I was doing it since a long time already.

 

I won’t get into the kink side, some of which evolved from chastity, but using her words that I have heard her say about me being locked.

“I love that I know that no one can touch you, not even you, without me.”
“Sex is so easy now that I don’t have to worry about your needs, I cum when I want and you cum when I want” followed by a smile ear to ear.
“I just melt when you are always treating me like a princess. The kisses, the gestures, the pampering, I’ve never felt so loved”

She’s not into the teasing as much as when we started, at that point I think she thought of it as fun naughty play. Now it’s more like peace of mind with a large helping of attention. Plus in reality the honesty part, the part where she doesn’t have to pretend that piv is something she needs, but can do on her terms when she feels like giving me a treat is a load off her shoulders. It’s not some sore subject, it is what it is.

 

What is fiscal pleasure?

 

When your mortgage is paid off? When you get a bonus at work? I dunno, I'm just grasping at straws here.

 

Probably "physical pleasure", as the result of speech dictation on a phone, or perhaps English is not the first language.

 

Sorry m, yes physical pleasure. Damm auto correct.

 

That’s ok,
Happens to me all the time.
Was funny, although a very sadistic pleasure!

 

i completely agree!