The Gift

DAY 102

Boy is it getting cold! So cold that going for a run in my device is getting impractical, Mr Cocky just gets too frozen. Luckily for me I have the most amazing Key Holder who suggested I purchase I sock to keep him warm. But not just any sock; her text read "I want you to get the pinkest, sparkliest socks maybe with flowers or love hearts or stars?" And so this morning I went to Tesco and did just that. Then I went for a run and you know what, it worked! He was nice and toasty through out.

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So what could be more humiliating then going to buy a little girls sock to put over you chaste dick from a supermarket? I'll tell you, doing it whilst wearing a butt plug. That's right my anal training is progressing. She asked me to wear it the other night when we went to the pub to meet her friend but I tried to get the big one in and it just wasn't working. I've realised now I need to take baby steps and just stick with the medium for now and build my way up.

It was a very surreal excursion which gave me a real kick being so kinky out in public. With every step the plug massaged my prostate, which turned me on and made me feel more frustrated. I went about my business and all was going great until I got to the checkout (I imagine the plug had been inside me for about 20 minutes by this point) when my arse started to go numb and I could hold it inside me anymore. Panic washed over me like a tidal wave! I pushed it back in discreetly (well as discreetly as you can be in a crowded supermarket) but it kept coming out forcing itself against my jeans. I told myself that nobody would notice the bulge in my behind but if I'm honest I'm not sure this is true. My heart was pounding so fast and I felt all eyes where on me, I hurried back to the sanctuary of my car, stopping between cars to push it back up. What I site I must have been if anybody had decided to watch me!

What I'll take away from this experience is that practice, practice, practice is the key. The more I engage with the plug the easier it will become. I would like to get to the point where if we where going out for the day and she asked me to wear it I could do it without any real drama but we will just have to wait and see if we get there.

@richard yes it is rather romantic isn't it

 

DAY 106

She turn to me the other day and asked "What do you think is going to happen after the year is up? Do you think we are going to go back to how it was? Do you think I'm going to stop being such a selfish lover?"

I thought about my reply for a second, maybe two, and then answered "I hope not"

@Ellen58 thank you and you know what it really does work!

 

DAY 125

My apologises for not posting for a while but truth be told there has not been much to write about. I've been working away quite a bit and so obviously locked and denied during those times, and my time at home has been that chaotic we haven't had much chance to play Also we have realised alcohol has a serve effect on our sex life and so have both vowed to drink less as a result!

We did however have a little fun last night! Prior to that I hadn't been inside her for over 2 weeks, had a ruined orgasm since the end of October or had any stimulation for 8 days. So I was shall we say, a little frustrated. We started off by having a shower together taking our time washing each other very throughly. In bed she relaxed whilst I gave her a massage, which of course turned into a pussy massage. Then she suggested I get the triangular pillow and place it under her tummy (I love this because it exposes her pussy and ass in the most glorious way). Slowly and playfully I teased her engorged pussy lips, her clitoris and her delicious bottom.

This has to be my favourite pastime ever! Me, on my knees, focusing all my attention on turning my lady on. Pleasing and pleasuring her needs as my hard cock drips with excitement from making her cum. Absolutely devine. After some time she will require more stimulation and so her vibrator came out. Now unfortunately Bradley (her old vibrator) died on us last week. She was devastated to say the least and we quickly ordered her a new more powerful one that is also slightly larger length and girth. She doesn't feel like she knows him well enough to name him yet so we're just call him Big Dick for now.

So as Big Dick's bunny ears are on her clit, whilst my tongue worships her ass, as she enjoys a couple of orgasms before being ready to have him inside her. Flipping over onto her back she offers him to my mouth so I can lube him up with my spit. As he parts her lips I watch with envy as she slides him inside her gorgeous pussy (with some difficulty I might add). I'm jealous of an inanimate object at this point, I feel like an inadequate cuckold to "Big Dick" knowing that I'll never stretch her pussy as much as him or that she'll never breathe like that when I enter her, not to mention his stamina is unrivalled!

More loud powerful orgasms follow and then I ask if I may enter her. This is something that I never used to do but it just felt right, like I should obtain permission before entering. I don't know whether this is because I've been feeling extra submissive as of late or just because it had been so long since I have been inside her, either way she said yes. I entered her a knew after just one thrust I was going to be pathetic. The trouble is her pussy is nirvana, paradise, heaven, bliss and ecstasy all rolled into one. All I could manage was a few minutes of slow thrusting (like 2 seconds per thrust) which she didn't actually mind as her pussy was sore from Big Dick.

What followed next was some excruciatingly slow tease and denial, not particularly because she wanted to be cruel going slow (well partly that) but also because that's all I could take. My hips started to hurt as I'd been kneeling for so long and she allowed me to lie down as she edged me time and time again, I felt like such a stud lying down (I'm normally teased in more fitting positions like on my knees or standing). Unfortunately one of my edges went to close to the edge and I had a ruined. I felt absolutely gutted as I watched my cum unsatisfyingly drip out of my dick, gutted because I felt I had let my Queen down. She had told I was to receive a ruined orgasm for Christmas and I was really looking forward to it, she had even asked how I would of liked it! I would have requested to leak on her boobs and I was going to ask her to make me lick it up, something that I've been having stronger and stronger fantasies about recently. Alas she informed that that was my ruined and then next one won't be until her birthday in April. I better get used to some blue balls.

@filltee if she chooses to keep me denied on our wedding day, the honeymoon or even after that then I will remain denied without complaint. It is her choice at the end of the day, and she has joked about it before to be honest, but I think she was just teasing. Well I hope she was just teasing!! Was she??!!??!

@LadyFedora I'm good thank you, a third of the way through the year now and we've learnt quite a bit as a couple. Since she stopped milking me so regularly she has defiantly noticed as vast improvement in my attentiveness (not that I wasn't attentive before, but let's face it there is always room for improvement). I too have noticed a difference, I feel a lot more submissive, I crave it being beaten and humiliated, teased and used. I would rather give her a massage than receive a blow job, paint her toes than have a ruined orgasm. It's not that I don't enjoy being focused on it's just I feel so submissive these days, I buzz off her pleasure. It's like a drug to me. This is just a sexual thing by the way, day to day life I am still quite alpha but in the bedroom I am her bitch. A title I love.

One draw back however with such denial and lack of release is my inability to satisfy her with my cock. Sure she uses my fingers and tongue frequently not to mention various toys but she craves cock. If you want to cuckold your slave or not use for sex then this is not a problem but for us these are not options. So at the minute we are trying to get the right balance between enough denial so I am very attentive but not to much that I am a quivering wreck when touched. Anymore questions please feel free to ask and your right, they way I feel at the moment it is her who has give me the gift of denial a gift I am eternally grateful for.

 

Thank you Sir and Ellen you comments mean a lot to us both and we are delighted your are enjoying our tale. Any questions you have, or anybody for that matter, please feel free to ask and I'll answer them as honestly as possible.

Dickie tell your Mistress I love her suggestion and will look into the harness.

 

DAY 128

Yesterday evening I received a text message that simply read "I think I am going to play alone tonight" my reply was equally as simple "Have a lovely orgasm"

You see I'm working away at the moment and often when I am away my lady satisfies her own needs with her toys. Sometimes I listen on the phone or I watch via FaceTime and other times I have nothing but my thoughts as she plays without me, last night was to be one of those nights. Her reply was "Get washed up and wait in bed for your Queen to say goodnight"

Of course I did just that and got into bed, it was at this moment that my mind started to race. All I could think about was her on her back, naked on our bed, one of her hands running over her sexy body whilst the other held her new toy in place as it stretched her tight little pussy as she screamed and moaned with delight. Needless to say Mr Cocky was desperately trying to get hard in his cage. This was sweet torment and even though I was technical tormenting myself it was all by her doing. Checking the text messages today she told me to wash up at 2219 and then she text to tell me she had finished at 2248. That's 29 minutes, a lot can go through a boy's brain in 29 minutes!

Her reply was amazing "Big Dick said that was lovely, he especially liked cleaning himself with your towel"

Wow! I felt like such a cuckold! If my dick was trying to get hard before with just my imagination that was nothing compared to how hard he was trying to get now after reading that text! We then texted a bit; I told her how I loved how long she had taken and how my mind had wondered, I said how I love that sometimes I get to hear her other times I don't get to, it keeps me guessing, and stuff like that.

And then she text "You are distracting when you listen or see. I want to get to know big dick on my own a bit. Just like I have done with all the other cocks"

I apologised and asked her to do just that, to which she told me she would. I was in a little bit of shock to be honest. I hate to think of myself hindering her needs or her pleasure in anyway at all. My biggest and strongest desire is to please her, her needs must come first! Don't get me wrong I love to watch how her body tenses up as she cums and to listen to her sweet moans of ecstasy as she orgasms but I don't have to do it every time it happens. I want her to play without me, I crave it, I love the thought of her doing it and then maybe telling before or after, or the next day or maybe not at all! So I beg you baby play all you want, include me as little or as much as you want and don't ever, ever feel guilty about anything you do sexually. Please, please, please.

I'll leave you all with one last snippet. She did call to say good night after we text chatted for a few minutes and the first thing she said to me was "I don't want to hear anything kinky, how horny you are, how much you enjoyed that, or anything like that at all. It's bedtime and I'd like a nice little chat before we sleep" Well I tell you, all I wanted to do was talking about it! I was so horny and fired up and alive! But of course being a good obedient little PUP I made small talk about my day and stuff and then wished each other good night. Hanging up the phone and it was back to my thoughts and trying to fall to sleep (not the easiest thing in the world). She texted me in the morning telling me that she had had a wonderful nights sleep, God I love this woman more and more each day. I love how she treats me.

 

DAY 131

Yesterday was 3 years since we first met. Looking back I feel like I've known her a lot, lot longer. I feel like we have already been together for a lifetime, now I don't mean that in a bad way, quite the contrary in fact. It's just I know her so well and trust her so much and I feel that the bond we have is as if we have been together for 30 years not 3.

She teased me all day telling me how she couldn't wait to have sex later that evening which shall we say gave me a certain spring to my step. I couldn't wait to get into bed last night. After drink far to much Veuve Clicquot we finally retired to the bedroom. We kissed and fondled like teenagers for a bit until she uttered the words "Get me big dick"

Passing him to her I watch as she started to pleasure herself, next she told me to fetch the lube and begin to masterbate. Kneeling by her side I stroked away as she enjoyed her first orgasm. Then she informed me that I would not be entering her tonight. I guess I have to get used to when she says we are having sex that does not necessary mean intercourse with myself, more that we are going to play, she will obviously cum, I may or not be involved, I might be used for my tongue or fingers, or she might want my cock. That is sex for me now.

As I wanked she coaxed me "Harder. Faster!" I tried but I couldn't manage it. She laughed and taunted me as she told me how pathetic I was. I felt so humiliated. I was on my knees, touching my own penis on my anniversary, denied sex, what man does this? Most men get special treats on their anniversary, a blow job perhaps most defiantly they get sex though. Instead I got denied and mocked and you know what? It drove me crazy! I loved it!

She has defiantly started humiliating a lot more recently, at first I don't think she liked doing it to much, I think she thought she might hurt my feelings or offend me. Slowly, slowly she is realising that I thrive off this verbal abuse. I'm not sure why I do. I mean it can't be normal? If somebody humiliated me at work or down the pub I wouldn't enjoy it, in fact I'd say something or even punch them! But when it is sexual humiliation done by this woman I flourish from it. My best guess why this is so is because it reenforces the positions of our relationship; her as the dominant partner, the master, the boss and myself as the submissive, the subservient, the bottom.

When she laughs at me or tell me that a have a "Distinctly average penis" (something she likes to remind me of a fairly regular basis) I guess this reenforces my stature in our relationship and it is that reminder that turns me on. This is my best guess anyways, I'm no psychologist. For example just this morning we where talking about my wank the night before and said how much bigger my hands are than hers and how that made my cock look tiny. Now I normal man being told his cock looks tiny would be offend, me? It made me hard extremely hard.

And just as I side note: Looking on the NHS website the average length of a UK adult's penis is 5.5 to 6.3 inches so at 5.5 I guess I am the low scale of distinctly average!

@LockedInWI we purchased some Vagisil earlier today which contains 2% Lidocaine, an ingredient which I'm told has a numbing effect. She is out for a night with the girls tonight but I'm hoping when she returns she's in the mode and wants to try it out. Fingers crossed!

 

DAY 133

Merry Christmas everybody!

 

DAY 135

Well, Christmas has been and gone. I'll let you in on a little secret, as the days drew closer to the 25th there was a small part of me that thought she might have a tiny bit of charity and give me the ruined orgasm that I was supposed to have on Christmas Morning (if you remember on the 16 Dec I had an accidental ruined orgasm, which she took as my Christmas one). She did not, and I proud of her for not caving. It is testament to what a remarkable and breathtaking key holder she has become, one who is firm, in control, fair and above all else strict.
Shame on me for ever doubting her, bad PUP!

So I guess when she says my next ruined/milking is on her Birthday she means it! That will be a 117 day stint.
Ohh my! Although she did jest the other day about maybe giving me one for Valentine's Day, which would make it a 60 day stretch. Either way I guess it is in the hands of the Gods now, or more appropriately the hands of my Goddess.

The Vagisil did not have the desired effect. Now to be fair it did numb the applied area but just not numb enough, I don't know whether it was we did not leave it long enough to give the cream a proper chance to take effect or we did not use enough of the stuff or quite possibly that I was just super turned on whilst we experimented with it, I suspect it was a combination of all three!

You see she had been out that evening with her girlfriends. Originally just for some food, but then they hit of few bars, drank to many cocktails and to much champagne and ended up at a club. I was waiting at home for her, soba since I was the chauffeur for the evening.

During the night she sent me a text that read "...has stolen my ring, so I'm officially signal"
Followed by a picture of her friend wearing her engagement ring and picture of her naked hand. Now I know she was just playing to my cuckold fantasies but I still could help getting worked up thinking about her. Added on top of this was the fact that I knew she would want sex when I picked her up as she would be drunk and horny, so I was very excited and the cream didn't really preform, so neither did I. Luckily big dick finished her off.

@john smith I am trying to purchase some Xylocaine spray however, the chemist site has emailed me to ask what I require it for. I've told them I need it to numb male genitalia in order to tattoo it, so we'll see if that blag works out!

News on other fronts; we purchased two new chastity devices (not particularly for Christmas, it just worked out that we got them around this time of year). They are Chinese knock offs, nevertheless the craftsmanship is more than satisfactory. Of course the finish and quality is nowhere near that of the Lori but then again the price is nowhere near it either. I love the Lori, it is just unfortunate that I ordered it to big, I can pull out of it and at times my cock looks lost inside the tube because of the extra space. The two new tubes are both very snug.

I have been slowly getting used to the new cages, increasing the length of periods of wear. This does mean that I have been placed on the honour system between my lock ups. I am a very honourable man though! I donned the cage last night and intend on trying to keep it on until I return home on Friday, only taking it off if she wants be to 'play'. One thing that is a factor with this cage is nocturnal erections. They never bothered me with the Lori, but as this cage is a lot tighter (especially on the test ring) they hurt! Four times last night I was awoken by my penis' futile attempts at getting hard and four times I was painfully denied. The last time was during 'morning wood' she was awake at this point and we were texting. As I told her of my ordeal her words just made it worse!

"Aww bless you. I'm sure you will get used to it" and "Tehee that makes me smile"

To quote a couple of her texts. I don't know why but when she is so blasé about my denial or my suffering it drives me up the wall! It really brings her across so cool and cruel.

 

DAY 138

I though I'd share a snippet of a conversation Strict Sir and myself had the other day....

Strict Sir "How long until your next ruined?"

PUP "About a 100 days"

Strict Sir "You do know that in a 100 days I probably cum a 100 times, I cum everyday from either sex or masterbation"

PUP "It would probably take me 10 years to have a 100 orgasms!"

Strict Sir "That would work out one orgasm every 6 weeks"

Now this shocked me! I'm sure there are quite a few males on here with similar release schedules (every 6 weeks) I mean it is quite realistic. My Queen and I haven't talked about what it will be like after the 'year' but I can imagine she will impose denial at her leisure.

So the math: 365 days x 10 years gives 3650 days

3650/100 orgasms = 36.5 orgasms per year (or 1 every 5.2 weeks)

Before I was chaste I to was just like Strict Sir everyday I would orgasm (often more than once) and now it looks like I could be destine on a life where what used to take me just little under 4 months to reach 100 orgasms now looks like it may take a decade!

Just some food for thought

 

DAY 141

Firstly let me apologise for my terrible maths, you are right little minx and Strict Sir I've gotten it wrong. Silly PUP!

365 days x 10 years gives 3650 days

3650/100 orgasms = 1 orgasm every 36.5 days not 36.5 a year! (or 1 every 5.2 weeks)

A Happy New Year to all! 2014 is set to be an amazing year for me, I get to declare my unequivocal love to an amazing woman in front of all of our friends and family. I cannot wait! Only 223 days to go. She actually asked me last night if I would like to continue being her PUP when we are married. I replied telling her yes, I would love to be. To which she informed me that she would not deny me of that privilege and I will be her hubby PUP.

I guess this was my out. I could have chosen an easy life. A life where I orgasmed constantly and where I was not only sexual satisfied but also sexual even in the relationship. Instead I chose denial and frustration, I chose her pleasure over my own, her needs and her wants. I chose to serve her and devote myself to her. I think she was happy with my choice, she told me that I have a long life ahead of me. I can imagine it is going to be a long frustrating life, I cannot wait!

We have also decided to record our orgasms for 2014 (I'm sure she had decided to do this in the interests of science and not so she can tease me about it!). The count is at 1-0