News from Nowhere

sophia · Dec 17, 2008

Non-threatening

When I was around 20 I had a kinky dominant girlfriend. One evening she started talking about latex clothes, kinky sex and domination. Result was that I ran away. Too young and insecure, even if that was what I really wanted.

I love my wife, and would never leave her over our lack of kink together, but it's something that will always hold us apart a little.
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Some years later I married and my wife thought I was a bit weird but helped me out of kindness. 13 years later we divorced. Sex was not the main reason

I came out about femdom to one of my lovers and she broke into tears. She thought I was weird and she thought she couldn't satisfy me and that therefore the relationship was over. Well, we got through that and even played some, but then that became a big deal. She would be mean during the play, and not in a good way, and then hold the play against me.
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After my divorce I found another woman, and the quote above is quite exactly what happened to me....

She did so in a very non-threatening way and told my wife that while this all sounds crazy there are so many rewards that go with it. My wife's curiosity won out the hesitation and we have begun this journey together. While we have some hot episodes most of you who track my journal will also see there are many periods of vanilla life.
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And this pretty much describes the situation I have now.
The keywords are "NON-THREATENING". A sunny summer day I made a joke to my wife and of course a joke can be bad but never threatening.
My mistakes earlier in life was probably to try to have serious discussions about my submissive nature. I think that by default such a discussion is doomed to make one look like a weird freak ready for psychiatrists and years of analysis. At least to the majority of people.

I had come to the same conclusion, that femdom was just not something I was going to bring up anymore. However, reading this site, I'm reassessing.
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Maybe it is all about NON-THREATENING and good timing (and a bit of luck).

candide · Dec 17, 2008

Thanks for the heartfelt responses, mike, xcitex2, and oddball. They're not off-topic at all, as far as I'm concerned.

In fact I'd like to hear more about the whole question of how F/m/chastity relationships get established, including from Mistresses and sissies. Perhaps it deserves a topic of its own (or may have already have one) elsewhere.

I'm sure there are better and worse ways to go about it, and also that there are no guarantees anymore than for vanilla sexual relationships.

I do think that the existence of forums like this, plus the millions of CB-X000's sold, are making that initial contact less stressful and potentially more successful.

mikecb · Dec 17, 2008

Candide, I think if I was starting over, I'd attend local munches, and shop "alt.com" personals, or post my own personal ad indicating that BDSM was a strong interest.... I guess you could say I'd just shop in different stores than I used to! lol

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News from Nowhere

sophia Senior Member

candide Member

mikecb Long term member