age of locked cocks--picking up from an earlier thread

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by MissMelissa, Aug 20, 2013.

  1. MissMelissa
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    MissMelissa Say "yes" to Miss Melissa

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    I was perusing a thread from May and would like to revisit the topic.

    Not long ago, I ended a keyholding relationship with a man in his early twenties. His age is probably not as important as his personality here, but the two seem connected.

    He was a studious, shy fellow with very little sexual experience. He had all this beautiful young horniness but none of the know-how. I could never figure out why he wanted to be caged.

    I used the experience as a way to teach him to appreciate his own sexuality and to appreciate women as women, not as body parts. I asked him to verbalize his desires to get him away from silly porn language.

    But my question is about the motivation for young men to be caged and controlled. What is it? (Generalization, I know. Still, I'd love to hear your thoughts.)

    MM
     
  2. 1toomany_times
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    1toomany_times New member

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    I like the thought of being controlled lol
     
  3. MissMelissa
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    MissMelissa Say "yes" to Miss Melissa

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    Tee hee. And I want to keep the key to a caged cock. Why? I dunno . . .
     
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  4. latexbound
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    latexbound Locked

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    Define "young"? lol
     
  5. MissMelissa
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    MissMelissa Say "yes" to Miss Melissa

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    Excellent point, Latexbound. Sometimes I live in my own self-centered little world where everyone understands the context as I do.

    Well, I'm 45. Young to me is 20s.

    MM

     
  6. latexbound
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    latexbound Locked

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    Well I'm around your age, so in my humblest opinion, you're young too.. coz I feel young! hehe
     
  7. MissMelissa
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    MissMelissa Say "yes" to Miss Melissa

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    Well, sure. I feel 22, mentally, at least. But I've had thirty years of sowing my oats.

    Just realized something. Can you hear how intercourse-based I am? I had thirty years of mostly bad sex, so maybe I was the one missing out. If at 20 I had learned to appreciate the mental intimacy of sex, through teasing and non-intercourse based activities then now I'd probably be advocating chastity for all at 20.

    Thank you for helping me see my bias, latexbound.

    MM
     
  8. latexbound
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    latexbound Locked

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    So 30 years of bad sex means you now want revenge on the male species and lock them all up?
    An alternate might be to seek out "good sex"! ;-)
     
  9. MissMelissa
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    MissMelissa Say "yes" to Miss Melissa

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    Are you kidding me? I love men, and I love sex with them. Something clicked with me post-divorce. I became multi-orgasmic and a gusher. I have good sex with my boyfriend, great sex. I'd love to lock him up, but he doesnt get it yet. I'm here to get other needs met.
     
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  10. janders6
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    janders6 Trying to work it

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    Lets see, I started with chastity at 29 right after my wife and I had our first kid. If you look at this from a perspective of "sexual accomplishments" I would say that by that age I had done pretty much everything I had wanted and spent plenty of time in earlier years playing the field and such. I had come to enjoy the buildup to orgasm more and more and took to the idea of chastity as a means to extend that experience. Flash forward several years and the sexual relationship between my wife and I is stronger than it ever was before chastity.
     
  11. allaboutHer
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    allaboutHer Long term member

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    Hello.
    I am in my 40s and oh how I wish I knew about chastity back in my 20s! In my opinion when a guy is very active sexually you reach a point where it is no longer about the orgasm...it's the thrill of the chase to romance yet another new, different female to submit and allow you to penetrate her or convince her to perform some type of sexual stimuation to bring you to a climax, and not to sound crass, but the 5 to 20 second ejaculation phase is pretty much the same whether your counterpart is tall, short, thin, heavy, younger, older or blonde, brunette or red headed. ...and how many times can you masturbate without adding in new things before that get gets to be old hat? For me, chastity has taken sexuality to an entirely new level. Unlike many men who stray at my age because they are bored, I find that being locked has renewed that feeling of "the chase"...no masturbation to drop the sex-drive...its not about my orgasm anymore, its about how I MIGHT get there or whether I will be left on the edge in a pool of my own juices so ready and so close yet so far away and wanting. It makes me feel like a teenager feeling my way around sexually once again. I can only imagine the thrill of having been locked in my 20s. It is a crying shame chastity is so far outside the "norm" in the sexual landscape. I would strongly recommend it for all couple even if it were not a "lifestyle practice" , especially in their younger years...MissMelissa has a good point; I would trade the hundreds of plain old orgasms for quality, mind-numbing, heart pounding passionate interludes through the years, and before someone takes that wrong I accept just as much blame for that as I cast...call it youthful naivete'.
    allaboutHer
     
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  12. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    I suppose its kina domination thing but not bdsm but you get to know your partner either those memorable first time times or a regular one.
    You realise that what they or their body is telling you is so obvious that you just keep playing feeling the pleasure your giving them. That is why I prefer oral sex as there's no chance of me cumming and thus curtailing the fun.
    You can then take charge and make ? them enjoy the fun without worrying about you.
    I don't know if I have explained my self properly.
    It is especially rewarding if they have had very selfish lovers who cum and run or roll over fart and snore.
    You come along make them the centre of attention and let them enjoy the fun.
    Xx wendy
     
  13. MissMelissa
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    MissMelissa Say "yes" to Miss Melissa

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    Janders and AllAboutHer,

    Love your notes. I'll admit that AllAboutHer had me feeling a little steamy. Your partners are fortunate to hold the key for such thoughtful men.

    OK, so here's my question then: If I keep a 21 year old man in chastity, am I right in thinking that my "job" is to help him really feel his sexuality, not the chase, not the momentary orgasm but the deep tingly brain things that happen when we feel oursevles as sexual beings? That would be my natural approach. Less about the cock, more about the whole man. Then I could send him out into the world as a more aware lover to women his age, and I'd still be available for reporting/providing correction. Fun.

    Kind of like teaching my sons to do their own laundry.

    MM
     
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  14. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    How can we put this every boy needs an experienced women to set him straight about what makes a wonderful lover.
    You would be doing all the partners that come after you a real big favour.
    Its a very special skill that you cannot get from the Internet or book but just getting down and dirty with a whole women who is very happy with her body and sexuallity .
    Of course this also applies with men I had the luck of having a very special man in my sexual career early on.
    It has stood me in good stead ever since. Being completely bi I have had some amazing fun , , difficult because finding both sexes equally attractive it gets a bit hectic but a lot of fun.
    Xx wendy
     
  15. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Regarding the young man's motivation to be locked.... For me, chastity play existed before I knew what it was. I remember taking tape and trying to block access to my cock, even as a pre-teen. I think it's a hardwired kink for many of us.

    What should you do about it? I think as you suggested. Use it as an opportunity to mentor the lad. His sex drive will be WAY higher than us old farts. 3 days in chastity for him would be like 2 months for us. If he's into submission, it's a good opportunity to get him to separate HIS pleasure from his partner's. Teach him to please you, knowing it won't be reciprocated, this time. IMO, giving and not receiving is a BIG part of the motivation for this kink of ours.
     
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  16. MissMelissa
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    MissMelissa Say "yes" to Miss Melissa

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    Thank you Wendygirl and MikeCB,

    I am talking to a sweet boy many years younger than I. He lives across the ocean from me, so there wouldnt be any down and dirty, but there can be him amusing me with the articulation of his journey. And if his cock is youthful and full, I'd certainly enjoy supervising it via Skype. I think Ill get hom on this thread to introduce himself to those with more experience.

    MikeCB--so interesting about the pre-teen chastity play. I still have stuff in my head from when I was ten and eleven.

    MM
     
  17. James0
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    James0 New member

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    Hi, I'm James and I'm Miss Melissa's potential new sub from across the sea. I'm currently researching metal cages for my chastity. Do any men out there have recommendations from their own experience? I'd like it to be comfortable enough for 24/7 wear, and no belts, thank you.

    Thank you Miss Melissa for giving me this opportunity x
     
  18. James0
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    James0 New member

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    I'd like to add, as a young man, the desire to be caged comes from having had a long-standing, happy sex life for years and from respect for women and a disdain for "normal" male/ female relationship dynamics. And honestly, being the youngest of my siblings with three older sisters I think has contributed to this partiality for feminism in me from an early age. Hope this gives you some insight.
     
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  19. latexbound
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    latexbound Locked

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    I think this thread brings up some interesting points about the chastity demographic! I sense that the vast majority of folk - on both sides of the fence, so to speak - get into chastity at a more mature stage in life. I'm guessing from the various people I see across this site that mid-thirties plus is the age-group representing the vast majority of "members" (no pun intended). I suspect janders' comments about getting into chastity after youthful fun times would apply to many - I think they probably apply to me! What do folk think?

    Oh and good luck James, be careful what you wish for ;-) and Jailbird's a good device from my experience. Though if you want to get serious you'll need a pa or a device like the Looker - which Mascara Snake will no doubt recommend ;-)
     
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  20. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    I would agree that if you want a non-belt type of device, but security, you should seriously consider getting a PA piercing.
     
  21. janders6
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    janders6 Trying to work it

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    When I was studying various cultures in college I came across one that had what I considered to be an interesting attitude towards behavior as someone transitioned from youth into adulthood. The general concept was that the elders in the culture allowed the transition to occur with its rebelious streak in place, only correcting and guiding the behavior of the youth when danger to the community came into play. Otherwise it was meant to be a time for the youth to experience and learn so that they would have a well rounded understanding when the responsibilities of adulthood came upon them. Wish I could remember the culture (been well over 10 years since I took that class).

    Anyways, how this relates to chastity is that it mirrors my belief that the playfulness of the 20s for many a man is when he is given the opportunity to go out and dabble without concern, only to be corrected by society if he veers to far outside acceptable standards. For some this is a setup for later in life when chastity becomes the "adulthood" of their sexual life.

    As for keeping a 21 year old in chastity for the purpose of making them a better lover in the long run? I'm not sure I see that as the best option, but as with anything, to each their own. Youthful experience and breadth of experience are important. For some chastity may be a part of that which is beneficial. For others the freedom to orgasm and learn from the good and bad experiences of doing so is more beneficial.

    Latexbound, I definitely agree that this thread has brought up some interesting points on the chastity demographics. Regardless of age or reason it is good to see when people find what they enjoy and especially when they can enjoy it with a partner in a safe, sane, and consensual manner.
     
  22. allaboutHer
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    allaboutHer Long term member

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    Hello MissMelissa.

    The long-lost Alpha inside of me is pleased to have produced some "steam". :>) Anyway, thinking back to my early 20s I had a major thing for "older", more MATURE women. Right or wrong, I was quite active sexually from about 18 on through my early 20s only to have that interupted by a mistake of my 1st marriage which took about 4 years of my sexual prime away from me. Prior to my marriage I dated an incredibly attractive and mature woman 10 years my elder who was rather timid sexually and I proudly helped her out of her shell but she walked away when I told her I wasn't ready to settle down because she did not want to share me with others until I was ready to commit...and then I proceeded to meet and marry an immature woman instead...stupid me! People make mistakes, so we parted ways amicably. This released me to explore sexually in my late 20s which cemented my kinky mentality as I looked for bigger and better sexual kicks. I shifted through several relationships and met my current wife who looking back had a similar personality, was the same age and a female professional just like the "older" woman (but now I was older than she) from my early 20s. Where am I going with all of this? I think all younger men have a fantasy about being taught like in the movie "The Graduate" or like the rookie baseball pitcher in "Bull Durham". Many men are just doomed to hump, roll over and snore and fart, but there are a select group of us who learn that being mentally put into a place where you are leaking from intense sexual desire and having every nerve ending lit afire without an orgasm is the ultimate of pleasure...and that giving pleasure trumps receiving...sorta like giving the perfect Christmas present...I hope this helps.
    allaboutHer
     
  23. Krishna'sTiger
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    'hump, roll over and snore and fart', you've met my ex wife then,, :D
     
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  24. kaligod
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    kaligod Miss Ever
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    This is interesting because I think motivations can be vastly different.

    My husband also has had fantasies of chastity since he was small. I won't go into the details here but my belief is that for some men it is akin to diapering in that chastity almost regresses a man to a pre-sexual state (even though it focuses a lot of his attention on the fact that he hasn't had an orgasm - at least initially). Since we have been experimenting with chastity I feel closer to my husband. I feel more nurturing and he allows himself to be very vulnerable with me. I would like to note that he doesn't diaper, like overt humiliation, or identify as a "sissy" but he loves panties, subtle humiliation, and hardcore CBT.
    Every person is not going to have the same motivation or the same kinks. I think it takes all kinds and in order to be a successful keyholder - especially long distance - you will have to know enough about the individual you are dealing with to devise a plan that will be mutually satisfying.

    Good luck!
     
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  25. Usul
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    Usul fear is the mind killer

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    Let's see... In my early 20's it was still possible for me to get off to the JC Penny underwear add in the Sunday newspaper. I don't think I knew about anything so advanced as male chastity until I was 30. So I don't know why a man that young would be interested. But it would be a quick way to grow up and learn to be patient and and respectful.
     
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