Following on from my milking thread, I'd like to ask everyone where they stand on accidental or unpermitted orgasms. But first, a little story from my early years on the scene. Grab a cocoa, put on your slippers and make yourselves comfortable because Grandma Cruel is going to tell you a tale.... ;-) Approximately 5/6 years ago, I'd been controlling an online submissive. The relationship had been going for the best part of a year and we got to the stage where we felt we could both trust each other. So we agreed to meet for coffee, he travelled to my town of course. Things progressed smoothly. After the meeting, we continued to email, this time we arranged a more fun meeting. He booked us a hotel room in the city near me. 4 weeks before we were to meet, I instructed him to lock on his CB3000 with points of intrigue. A plastic numbered padlock was used and photo evidence was sent to me every day. When the big day arrived, he was still locked in and it appeared he was still chaste. I dont think many submissives could orgasm while wearing the points. I handcuffed him to the handles of the bedside cabinets either side of the bed (note to self: Travelodge beds arent handcuff friendly!). He was also gagged. After explaining to him under no circumstances should he cum, I removed his device. Next, I used my bullet vibe on the head of his penis, and then began stroking him slowly, gradually speeding up. Unfortunately for me, I was still a little inexperienced at edging and all of a sudden I could hear muffled screams coming from his gag. He started to ejaculate, I quickly ruined it. Needless to say, I was not happy. So, who is at fault here? 1. Me for pushing him too far? 2. Him for disobeying my orders? 3. Me for gagging him, after all if I'd not gagged him in theory he would have told me to stop? 4. Him for not controlling himself? Surely every submissive should have a good degree of control? I am interested to hear your thoughts, regardless of whether you are a Domme or a sub. Mistress Cruel x
Hello Mistress Cruel I know you told him he shouldn't cum but for what it is worth i think you should have told your sub what would happen to him if he ejaculated without your permission Mistress Cruel. That said, sometimes a sub will think it's worth getting some relief and be prepared to face any consequences. It's easy to say it's the sub's fault for lack of discipline on his part, but after being locked for 4weeks I can understand an inexperienced male sub having to cum.
iv never came before iv been told to.however every time miss c ties me down its for pain ,not pleasure. im gaged as well ,to muffle my cryes. if i was tied/ gaged and stroked i could see me cumming. i say bottom line its his falt. just cuase ur the mistress. maby give him another chance however next encounter he at no point is free from his cage. that would be cruel.
As you yourself admit, you were inexperienced at edging. I'm certain he was very excited as well. Probably in hindsight, you could have edged him just slightly, then allowed him to cool down, then edge him again, but a little more. A hour of gradually increasing his edging with you repeating your instructions not to cum, then allowing him to go limp again, might have allowed things to progress much longer. I don't think assigning blame to either party does much good; it was just one of those 'whoops' experiences. Live and learn.
Oh this is a different questions. I think its the fault of both. The orgasm is a very physical thing. A man can have much control over it when trained, but when you just hit the trigger, it will cum. You might know that feeling when you have to sneeze but you dont want to so you try to control it. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. And sometimes, you think it worked, and then you sneeze just 1 second later. Its pretty similar with orgasm and cocks. It looks even similar I think a cock is even more sensitiv when it has been locked for 1 month. I never practiced chastity with a chastity belt. When I have been chaste for 1 month, I edged myself a loooot in that time, so my cock somehow got used to not cumming and I got very good control over it. The more you train it, the better the control. But when you cant train your cock for 1 month, its just too sensitive. I notice that effect after sleeping. I once had an accident after edging right after waking up. I just had no control over it, because I had no "warming phase" of edging myself before. Oh, I really felt bad and disappointed I ruined it too. But it never happened again. But I never had an accident with one of my girlfriends or mistresses. But they never edged me too close. And I would always warn them. Of cause, thats a problem when gagged. But I think a good solution could be a sign. Something he just to when he gets close. But to your question whos fault it is: I think that depends on the woman. She has to decide if its his fault or hers.
Mistress_Cruel Your slave is not entirely to blame but in no way is it your fault. I should go a little slower next time. If it happens again, then your slave is at fault.
Hello Ma'am Not to aportion blame or anythng but I would have to say it was your fault Ma'am. No matter how much control someone has, if you do, as you described, on any man, then I'm pretty certain he would cum. How long it would take would certainly vary from man to man, but any man (baring those with erectile dysfunction ) would cum. If a man were able to hold out indefinately in your scenario then it would basically mean forced orgasms don't exist ......... but they do......... and that's what you gave him. He tried to alert you, you failed to stop or change stimulation, your fault Ma'am. That of course is not to say you can't punish him for making you make him cum
Thanks everyone, for the replies, some really good views coming through here. Just to clarify, this took place at least 5 years ago, I no longer control him. Personally, I agree with those who say both of us were to blame. I should have warned him of the consequences and devised a way of him letting me know how close he was. Likewise, he should have controlled himself a lot more. Keep your thoughts cumming (;-)) in!
Good morning Mistress, An interesting question because what we fantasize is not always what happens in reality. Both of you may have wanted "edging" only while he was out of chastity. But, the reality is that every male will reach the point of no return and orgasm at different times. Some males are premature ejaculators and cum almost instantly. The only way to overcome this is to learn about each other over time (a relationship). In the meantime, my attitude is that unintentional orgasms will happen. Your response, as the Domme, might be disappointment (cruel) or severe punishment (very cruel) or maybe the two of you just laugh about it and begin the process all over again. Blame should not be assigned. A long term relationship will solve your understanding of your slave's weaknesses. In the meantime, the both of you should just enjoy his training until you figure out how his body works. marcus
The positive way to look at it is that your influence was stronger than his. You made him chaste, and you made him cum. I'm sure he felt guilty and disappointed that he lacked self control, but if anything is clear from your story -- all the control was yours. You were at the center of his chastity and his orgasm. The happy ending here is that you could chose what to do next.
Whilst getting to know each other fully does require a lot of ... shall we call it practice, it is not necessarily entirely the guys fault if he ejaculates accidently. I think with experience when you have practiced enough you can tell whether or not it was a true accident. In the latter case it is without doubt an oops moment and all part of the learning curve for you both. Laugh it off and restart his denial period is all I can suggest. With of course any sanctions of your own added ..naturally. I guess they would depend on whether you are in a KH and he denied realationship or a Fem dom and he denied one.