In My Wife's Service

1. Introduction

My wife and I are a middle-aged couple from middle America. We have been life partners and best friends since our early twenties, and we have led a successful marriage that has produced two beautiful children, now adults. In most ways, we are a conventional couple. However, there is one major exception. Over the past two years, our relationship has evolved to where I am essentially my wife’s sex slave.

I have worn a custom-built stainless steel chastity device virtually twenty-four hours a day for the past year. I am expected to pleasure my wife regularly using my tongue, lips, and hands. Our love making consists primarily of my performing cunnilingus and analingus on her, as well as providing her endless foot, leg, and back massages. In exchange, she will often play with my testicles, usually as a means for ensuring my enthusiasm while I am servicing her. She also has taken to conducting an extended teasing session once a month after she unlocks me to shave my genitals. I have only received a few orgasms during the past two years. They depend entirely on my wife’s whims, according to how generous she is feeling and how well she thinks I have been behaving. On more than one occasion, she has informed me that I had been close to earning an orgasm but blew it because I acted like a jerk about something. I suspect she rations my orgasms to maintain my frustration and avoid a decline in my performance.

About a year ago, my wife presented me a six-month chastity contract and asked me to sign it. Once that contract expired, she presented me a second contract that extended my chastity for several more months. Although I technically had the choice of whether or not to sign the contracts, she made it clear that my signature would greatly improve my chances of having sex with her during the next few months.

Having recently returned from a long overseas trip, we are on sort of a hiatus while she prepares a new six-month contract to begin July 1. She is confident I will sign the new contract although it will include a substantial punishment for an unauthorized orgasm I confessed to her last week, two months after the fact. She said that once I see the contract and read what the alternative to signing it is, I will want to sign it. She also advised me that it would be wise for me to wear my chastity device this week while waiting for the contract.

Most importantly, she has informed me that she wants to keep me in chastity on a permanent basis for the rest of our marriage. She will continue to write new six-month contracts, but only because that will give her an opportunity to revise our chastity agreement on a regular basis as new issues invariably arise. When I expressed some concern about permanent chastity, she advised me that I will be happiest once I learn to concentrate entirely on her pleasure, expect nothing, and content myself with whatever morsels she may choose to toss my way. Yikes!

I am simultaneously excited and scared to death. Being enslaved by a beautiful woman has been a lifelong fantasy for me, but I expect the reality of living in permanent chastity for the rest of my life will be extremely challenging at times, unlike in the fantasy. I love my wife very much, and I know this is very important to her. Deep in my heart, I know I will end up accepting her terms without a struggle.

A year ago, I started a journal on this forum, but I soon had to discontinue it because of a crisis at work. Now I want to begin keeping a journal again as a way of processing the profound changes that are occurring in my relationship with my wife. I also think my experiences of the past two years may be instructive to those interested in how a fantasy of enforced chastity could evolve into a hard reality once the key holder begins to appreciate the advantages it offers her.

In the next few days, I plan to start recounting some of the events of the past two years while also documenting those events yet to come. I look forward to any advice readers may have to offer as I attempt to deal with my situation.

Sesla

 

Thanks, Bobby and Deena, for your comments.

Sesla

 

2. There is Nothing to Discuss

At least that is my wife’s position. I tried to involve her in a conversation about permanent chastity this morning while we were still in bed. She acts as if my being locked up permanently is something upon which we have already agreed, and the topic bores her to death. She only has so much patience for discussing anything to do with chastity. It is more important for me to discuss it because I am the one that is locked up, and may be locked up for a long time.

When she handed me my second chastity contract earlier this year, she was already talking about a third one. I guess she thinks that because I continue to allow her to lock me up without objection, we have already begun practicing permanent chastity. However, in my mind there is a big difference between signing away my freedom six months at a time and agreeing to be locked up forever.

I still have problems believing she wants this as much as she does. She always has enjoyed teasing me, but the element of control must be what is so appealing to her. Although I have always been interested in female domination, I am anything but a submissive person outside the bedroom. No one, including her, has won very many arguments with me, and I think that controlling my sexuality levels the playing field for her. She has mentioned several times that she thinks we get along better when I am locked up, to the extent I wonder if she perceives that even when it isn’t always true.

When we first began experimenting with chastity devices, she was going through some hard times at work. Later, she said that she credited our chastity play with getting her through that experience. She said that when people at work were constantly cutting her down, being treated like a goddess at home gave her the self-confidence to persevere.

At first, I was extremely turned on by being locked up. However, my passion waned considerably as I saw my fantasy turning into reality. We had agreed to start a six-month trial once I thought I could wear a device comfortably that long. It took almost a year before I reached that point. In the meantime, we had tried three different devices, and I was ready to abandon the effort. During that period, I spent enough nights confined in one or another of the devices that she could see the benefits. So when I was ready to quit, she insisted that I owed her six months in chastity because I had agreed to the trial period months ago. Being a man of my word, I honored our agreement, and a year later I am still wearing the device.

She contends that a good husband takes care of his wife’s needs. She reasons that because she sacrificed a lot to take care of me and our kids during the early years of our marriage, she is now entitled to be “taken care of.” Similarly, she argues that sex during the first part of our marriage was on my terms and she didn’t get much out of it. Therefore, it is only right that sex during the rest of our marriage should be on her terms, even if I don’t get much out of it.

I have to admit it would be easier for me to accept permanent chastity if I felt it was being forced on me and I had no choice in the matter. Agreeing to wear a chastity device twenty-four hours a day for what might be the rest of my life is a big step, and I am reluctant to take responsibility for it. It often occurs to me that I might be the most foolish man on earth to allow someone to lock me up forever. Although permanent chastity still appeals to the submissive part of my soul, I have had enough experience with chastity to understand and appreciate what I would be giving up.

All along, my wife has suggested that my chances of having sex with her will be improved if I continue allowing her to lock me up. I don’t think sexual intercourse has ever been very important to her, especially in recent years. In fact, she has implied that she has engaged in intercourse just to please me. She has always maintained that chastity is my choice and she isn’t going to force me to do anything I don’t want to do. But I know that knife cuts both ways. She is not going to allow me to make her do things she doesn’t want to do, and I’m sure she isn’t going to be granting me a lot of sexual favors if I disappoint her by refusing to be locked up anymore.

To some extent, her argument that she is entitled to have sex according to her rules because of her earlier sacrifices holds some appeal. In fact, I can envision myself as the noble knight who accepts the sacrifice only because his goddess requests it. I could do worse things than willingly accept the burdens of permanent chastity simply because it would please my loving wife. A life of pleasing her could easily be happier than one based on disappointment and resentment.

I will attempt to negotiate a long-term chastity contract if I choose to be locked up permanently. To some extent, I have to deal with these issues every time she presents me with a new contract. Signing a permanent contract might help me accept my fate so I can begin adjusting to it.

For now, I will probably accept the new six-month contract my wife will present me on Sunday. Although she has suggested that I would prefer life with a chastity contract to life without one, she has always refused to discuss any specifics. However, she has agreed to describe in the new contract what the consequences of not signing it will be. Reading that may reveal what I am up against and help me make my decision on permanent chastity.

I am very interested in any comments or advice.

Sesla

 

Dear Divine Mistress Angelique:

Thank you for your input. However, my wife and I love each other very much, and there is no risk she will divorce or cuckold me.

Actually, last Thursday I ended up offering her my chastity on a permanent basis, but she insists on one six-month contract at a time. She is uncomfortable about assuming control indefinitely without providing me a periodic opportunity to terminate or renegotiate our agreement. At this point, I personally would prefer it if she would assume control once and for all so I could focus on serving her without the interruptions.

I certainly encourage your constructive advice if you have any to offer.

Sesla

 

Dear Andee:

I am afraid I have been sloppy in my use of the term "permanent." I meant permanent in the sense that my wife would be in complete control of my chastity from now on, as opposed to the next six months. I would wear my device twenty-fours a day, seven days a week, except when she chose to release me. Although technically she could decide to terminate my orgasms at any time, I would expect she would continue our current course for now. That means very few orgasms and even less penetrative sex (with her on top).

Thanks for your interest.

Sesla

P.S. I currently am not in my device given we are sort of at an impass while we sort a few things out.

 

Dear Mistrees B and Joroincharge:

Thank you for your comments.

Sesla

 

3. Update

When I made my last post over eight months ago, I thought I would be contributing more frequently to this forum. However, I got very busy at work last fall, and one of our adult children ended up living with us for ten months. Three weeks ago, he left for a year overseas, and I have only recently begun to catch up on some things.

Last summer, my wife and I signed the third in a series of six-month chastity agreements that was to expire on December 31, 2012. After the agreement expired, she seemed to drag her feet about a new agreement, but she told me she expected me to continue wearing my chastity device. Things pretty much went on as before, and I was only released once from the device, in January for a three-day business trip. At the end of February, when I once again asked about a new agreement, she said she no longer thought having a contract served a purpose. She told me she expects to keep me locked up in my chastity device and suggested I cooperate with her. She said she will refuse to have any sort of sex with me again unless she is in control.

I am expected to provide my wife as much pleasure as I can. This may take the form of kissing, massages, or foot and anus worship. She recently told me that when she comes to bed without pajama bottoms, I am to go down on her anus even without a command to do so. Our relationship is reinforced weekly by a Saturday night ritual. After we have finished with dinner and television, I will clear our dishes from the coffee table. When I return to the room, I will find her reclining on the sofa in front of the fire. I shed my clothes and begin worshipping her body while kneeling on the floor nude. I warm her up by kissing her on the lips for a few minutes. Then I begin applying my lips and tongue to her feet and start working my way up her legs to her vagina. Once there, I perform cunnilingus on her for a half hour or so. When she is finished, I caress her body for a few more minutes before we silently rise to climb the stairs to bed. Once in bed, she usually whispers, “Thank you,” before giving me a quick kiss and rolling over to sleep.

I have not received very many orgasms during the past couple years, and most of them have been at my wife’s hands. I have only had intercourse with her three or four times. She never removes my chastity device just to play with me. The only time I can expect her to touch my penis is when she shaves my genitals once a month. If she is pleased with my recent behavior, she may play with my genitals until I am about to ejaculate. Otherwise, she will simply shave me, slap on some aftershave, and walk away, leaving me to pick up and head for the shower. Only once in a while will she masturbate me to an orgasm. All of this is done in a humiliating manner. I am naked while she is fully clothed, and there is no physical contact except for hand-to-genital. Nonetheless, these brief sessions are the only times I can expect to be released from my device, and I very much look forward to them. Unfortunately, she has begun skipping these sessions if she is unhappy with me for some reason.

At bedtime, she will usually play with my testicles for a few minutes unless she is too tired or I am being disciplined. Her stroking and massaging can be very pleasurable, but more often she will entertain herself by pulling and yanking my testicles, pinching the base of my scrotum, or dragging her fingernails across my perineum. This can be uncomfortable, but I am always happy for whatever attention I receive. Once or twice a week, she may grab my testicles and pump them up and down against my scrotal ring until I am at the brink of an orgasm. Although my penis may begin twitching involuntarily, the tight grip of my device prevents it from ejaculating.
I am never more consumed by desire than when my wife is stimulating me and my penis is struggling to grow within its stainless steel trap. I imagine breaking free from the device and thrusting my erect penis deep inside her. However, the reality is that there is no chance of escape, and it probably will be several months before I have an opportunity to be inside her. Even then, she will be the one on top and in control.

I received my last orgasm several days before last Thanksgiving. After my wife shaved my genitals, she masturbated me to a body-wrenching orgasm. The next day, I left on a business trip. When I returned two days later, I was exhausted and up against a major deadline at work. As a result, I behaved rather foolishly, and I am still paying the consequences. It is always humiliating for me to have to present myself to my wife and ask her to lock me back into my device, and because I was so tired, I did not think we would be missing out on much if I came to bed one or two nights without it. It also felt good to take a break after being locked up almost constantly for several months. Meanwhile, she never said a word about locking me back up although she would not touch me or allow me to touch her.

Finally, after ten days, I wanted her enough to surrender myself to being locked up. As punishment for ten days of freedom, she did not allow touching for an additional ten days. She warns me that this is the sort of treatment I can expect on a permanent basis if I do not continue submitting to her by wearing the chastity device. Upon returning from my next business trip, I immediately presented myself to be locked up, and I was rewarded with a big smile and plenty of attention at bedtime.

This past Sunday, she shaved my genitals for the first time in over two months. She then played with them for as long as she could without letting me have an orgasm. She was not able to play with me for very long because I had not experienced an orgasm in almost four months. She has told me it will be quite a while before I receive another orgasm given what happened after my last one. She also told me that she had given me that orgasm so I would be able to last long enough to have intercourse with her once I returned from my trip. I forfeited that opportunity, and I suspect some others, by not asking to be locked back up right away.

So an experiment with chastity has evolved into a permanent lifestyle for us. Although I was the one who initially suggested we try chastity, it has been my wife who has insisted we pursue it, well after the fantasy began to wear thin. She has chosen this lifestyle for us primarily on the advantages it provides her. She makes the rules, and she enforces the rules. If I express any dissatisfaction with my predicament, she suggests I need to focus more on pleasing her. Whereas I once took regular sex for granted, I now long to have my penis touched for a few minutes once every month or so. The irony is my wife is now more irresistible to me now than when she gave me sex for free.

Sesla

 

I appreciate everyone’s comments. It does appear that the basic elements of my situation are quite similar to those of allaboutHer although each situation is of course unique, as he observes. I think the most significant change in my relationship with my wife is that over the past several months, she has evolved from where she felt she periodically needed my permission to continue imposing her will on me to where she no longer feels that way. She was using the six-month contracts to obtain my permission, but she now feels that her authority comes from within, not from me, so she has no further use for a contract.

I have been thinking a lot about asking her to let me get my penis pierced. If I am expected to wear a chastity device all the time, I do not want to be able to remove it. I want to be able to “relax” in my submission to my wife. In other words, I do not want to carry the burden of thinking I probably could escape from my device and constantly having to choose, at least implicitly, to remain locked into it. Instead, I want to accept chastity as inevitable and beyond my control, so I can move toward embracing it. Does that make sense to anyone?

During the next day or two, I plan on posting a copy of our old contract. Although it no longer serves a purpose in our relationship, it is fairly elaborate and may contain some provisions that would be useful to other couples. It also contains some justifications for male chastity that may be of interest.

Sesla