My New Life in Submission

Party Recap - Sunday Morning

Sorry all for the delay. i just know everyone is lining up to see the next installment of the Party Recap; all 3 of you. That old thing called life got in the way. So for you 3 and any other out there who might want a glimpse of the party.

The sun has risen on Sunday morning, a little earlier than normal since we go an extra hour due to the time change. Man that was a great break, by the way. Good planning on your part Mistress. I awake earlier than I would have liked given that we stayed up until 2 am. All seems quiet around the house. Now, I wonder, what should I do? What can I do? Do I need permission to do it, whatever that is? Well too many questions and unknowns to ponder, so I just take the low road and decide to rest until everyone gets up. After a while the house starts to stir and people are milling about. Then I hear the sounds of breakfast being cooked. Again, I muster up the courage to walk out of the room, totally naked, just hoping that I am dressed right. Much to my dismay, I am dressed correctly, but I am the only dressed in the naked costume. Pet would have been naked, but he is cooking bacon, sowell you can see that. Again, like the previous night, everyone is just acting as though it is a bunch of friends at a cottage. Nice and comfortable. Breakfast is complete; bacon, eggs, toast, biscuits, and sausage gravy. Mmmm, great job pet, everything was very good. It is around 11, or is it 10, no one really knows which clock is correct, when breakfast is complete. Afterwards, all the pets work on cleaning up from the meal.

Isnt this a great story so far..

Now it is time for Sunday playtime. Mistress Michelle calls me into the play room. Out comes Her bag of toys and She puts on my wrist restraints, then some ankle restraints, and then clips them together with a leather strap. Next She unlocks the cage and removes it from the ring. Of course though this all is some touching and squeezing of the balls. Just want to make sure your awake little pet, she says with a smile as she squeezes the balls. Next she needs to remove the ring from my cage, however there is one small issue. Now I am hard as a rock and the Points from my -2000 are digging in something fierce. Well we cant get this off with you in this state. So Mistress calls for susie to bring a pot of COLD, ICY water. This is then placed on the floor, and I am then instructed to get down on all fours and put my erection in the pot of icy water. Well, now I know first hand how the people on the Titanic felt. DAMN that was COLD! As I recall, I think I heard Mistress say Now hump that pot like a good little boy. How is that erection now dear, she asks. At this point I start laughing and tell her it is harder! How the hell can that be, she says. Losing interest, Mistress then leaves the room to let me and my balls freeze to death. She returns shortly to find a more humble, cold, and hurting (it really starts to just hurt after a while) little pet. Satisfied with the results, she is able to finally remove the points and the ring from the cage. Now, I am instructed to lie down, face first on the floor. Each wrist is pulled behind my back and clipped to my ankle restraint. So now my legs are bent upwards at the knee, and my arms are outstretched backwards behind my back and restrained to the ankles. Then I am left to contemplate my next fate.

While I lay restrained on the floor, other activities are going on around me, but I cannot see them as they are behind me. Pet is lying on the floor to my right, but he is not restrained. I guess they trusted that he was not going to go anywhere. I finally determine that basically, I have been parked here in this position so the Mistress Michelle and Mistress Renae can torment others. I know, for example, that Mistress Renae is using her nails to scratch down the length of pets back. In the pictures posted in my profile, you will see the red streaks down his back like rows in a freshly plowed field from where Mistress inflicted her nails on his back. You will also see the from time to time different people would come by and step on, pull, or scratch my exposed cock and balls, but it is behind me so I cannot really be sure who is doing this.

Now it is time for a new experience. Mistress Michelle, now unhooks my wrists and ankles from each other and I her them talking about the wax. Now this is another thing that was not really on my wish list, but I had agreed that I would try it out. So they open the box which says Sensual Wax. That the hell is that? Who determined that HOT wax is Sensual? Still lying on my stomach and unable to realy see, I hear them lighting the candles and then I feel the drip, drip of the hot wax. Well I did not really know what to expect, but yes it is HOT. They drip it up and down my back and my butt. Some places it really hurts, others no so much. They start and they stop, they laugh at my reactions, they are having fun! You could feel as the wax hits, it is very hot, but only for a split second. That split second though is enough to make you twitch. Then after they go for a while, I find myself reacting at times from the feel of it hitting me even if it did not burn. It is not hot in that spot, but my mind reacts like it is. The not being able to see when it is coming or exactly where is very intense. With the back covered, they move to pet on my right. Later they may have done susie also. Finally they come back to me and start to get the wax off. That was a special treat, as I was in essence, getting a back rub from Mistress. But this rest is only short lived, as the reason they cleaned my back was so they could do MORE wax. Thank you Mistress. You must have been able to tell how much I enjoyed it (NOT), so you wanted to make sure I got more. You are a most wonderful, wise, and thoughtful Mistress. The wax performance is repeated, with much the same result and reaction from myself. Finally that is over!

Wax cleared, it is now on my feet, legs slightly spread, hands on my head. The nipple clamps, my favorite, reappear and are placed in the appropriate spot. Then pet is ordered to kneel down in front of me. Oh, no, where is this going? Mistress then gives pet a ball parachute and instructs him to put it on. It is a leather one that wraps around the ball sac and snaps into place. He works with it for several minutes, but tells me he does not want to catch any skin in the snap. While not being overly excited that another man is fondling my balls, I am relieved to hear that pet has my interest at heart. Finally that is attached and on goes two weights. Now my ball sac is being pulled down and I am to stand there for a while. This is not uncomfortable at all, or at least for the moment. A short while later, I am ordered down on all fours, Mistress Michelles favorite position and I wait. She then grabs several clips and starts to attach them to the area between my anus and my balls. Pictures later reveal that there were 6 clips there and then one more on my cock for good measure. Again, I am left in the position for some time, though not sure how long. She asks if it hurts or not. I tell her surprisingly not. She then says; well wait until I take them off. Well now the fear starts running through me. Like before, the time is up, and the clips are removed. The first one is off, not too bad; then the next and the next. Interestingly enough, there was a very short feeling of pain as the clips were removed. I would not have expected this. But still it was not as bad as some other things.

Now I am ordered to lay on the bad. Time to turn up the heat! All the previous was merely just warm ups. I am now blindfolded and then my new steel ring gag that Mistress bought me is installed. Then 2 spreader bars are attached; one to my wrists and one to my ankles. So I am now spread eagle on the bed, blind, gagged, and nipple claps attached. Next Mistress decides that it is time for me to experience the spiked gland ring. So she has pet oil my penis and then slowly works the ring onto my dick. After getting it on partway, a break is required to uhmmmlet things cool down. Finally the ring is installed and someone, I think Mistress Michelle, gets the wrench and starts to screw in the points on the ring. As they start to drive into my penis, I flinch and squirm, but I am not really going very far. After that is fully installed and inspected, I then spend the next hour or so, which is a complete guess as I have no frame of reference on time, being tormented. It consists of being shocked with the rhimba, the multi-tailed whip, the crop on the balls, the nipple clamps pulled off, nipples pinched, and then put back on. I really cant keep up with what is going on, whom is doing it, and or how long I am there. I just know that I am in both heaven and hell. I am now, at the moment, a party toy myself. Then just before, I am let out of this position, Mistress decides it is time for a little humiliation. It is time for me to make up to Jannine. As you know, I was suppose to...wellservice one of her holes the previous night, but was unable to do so. So they place Jannine on top of me and I apologize to her for not being a man last night. Pictures are taken and then she retreats to her room, the master closet. Finally I am up for a break. Now that was just intense.

The last event of the early Sunday session was Rhimba Butt Dancing. This sport was discovered while I was all tied up, but simple consists of attaching the 2 Rhimba pads, one to each ass check, then running through the different cycles. When then shock is applied to the buttocks, well fun things happen. The butt might clinch, quiver, shake, jiggle, jump up and down, or any number of combinations. So once I was released from the bed, it was time to see what little pets butt would do? Mistress likes little pets butt. So I stand on the floor at the foot of the bed and bend over the bed. The leads are attached and the games begin. Although I could not see it, I did find this somewhat entertaining myself. There was one setting where by butt checks would clinch together really tight and another one where the checks would be bouncing up and down wildly. I found that one most amusing. I only wish there was a video of that so I could watch. As Mistress finishes with her fun, the games of the morning/afternoon wind down. What a total rush and the night time is still to come!

 

An Assignment

i am still working on the last installment of my Party Recap, but needed to make a normal report in my thread. i had occasion to be traveling and these are times where Mistress will sometimes like to try an online session. However, i was not going to be settled in till very late. So while chatting Mistress says to me that i will be getting up for Her during the night. i am caught completely off guard and perplexed. What does She mean? Is She going to call me i wonder? But this does not compute, so i ask Her what She means. She simply says, Just follow My instructions. i will send you an email and just follow the instructions. Now that ever familiar nervous, butterfly feeling immediately washes over me and i wonder what i am in for. i think i might have tried to ask a few incoherent questions, to which She side stepped completely. So wait it is.

i finally arrive at my destination, exhausted at about 1:30 in the morning. i quickly fire up the computer and check my email. Yes, there it is, an email from my Mistress. i slowly click it open and start to read. She wrote,

Are you ready for your instructions?? Dont worry, not too complicated, just enough for you to remember who Owns that little cock of yours!! First...you will make sure you are locked, just making sure Myself, with points!! Next you will sleep tonight plugged. And...most importantly you will sleep cuffed and locked. you will put the wrist restraints on and lock them together with the lock, so that your hands will be bound the entire night! No excuses....you will lock them and leave the key across the room somewhere. you will be sleeping nude as I have ordered in the past. This should cause you several occurences to think of your Mistress during the night and wish I were there to torment you. you will also sleep with the blindfold on....and imagine My touch....My nails sliding down your back and across your tight little ass, My scent and the sting of My paddle.
you will make sure to follow these instructions little pet and I will see you in the morning, I'll be all excited to hear of your locked, horny night!!!
Mistress Michelle

Well as i read i am nervous and i am getting aroused. But as i finish, i am thinking, well that is not too hard. So i go get my bag of toys and start working my orders. i get the wrist restraints on, but realize that i cannot lock them together with the lock that i have. They will be too close. i cant really even put the lock on, and if i did ever get it on, i probably would never get it off. So i experiment and finally improvise a solution. i have a short 6 inch chain that i can lock between the restrains and luckily, i have 2 locks with me. So now i am set. Just to be sure, i reread the instructions a second and third time. i want to get everything just right. Not sure why; i mean if i miss anything, who will know, but i am programmed to get it right, exactly right. So off to bed i go, already aroused and feeling the pricks from the points on my cage, nude, plugged, cuffed, and then blindfolded.

i fall immediately to sleep as i am exhausted from work and the late hour. i later wake for the first time and i again feel the Points of Intrigue poking into me slightly and the plug is pressuring my prostrate. Mistress swishes through my mind. At one point i imagine being restrained like i am, but hooked to one of the feet of Her bed. My thoughts come and go quickly and then i work to get back to sleep. i wake again later, but this time i am in severe pain. It feels like someone is trying to cut off my cock. i am sure it is from the points, but i cant pinpoint the pain, as it is running the length of my cock. A small amount of panic sets in and i begin to wonder if i am being pinched somehow. i contemplate getting up and removing the cage and points just to make sure i am not damaging anything; but i wait. i go into a deep concentration trying to will my erection down. It starts to work, but anytime i relax, then BANG, it goes hard and the pain is intense. So i focus and finally get things calmed down. i decide to get up and use the rest room. i feel my way along with my cuffed hands, taking small steps. On the way back to the bed, i feel around and find the glass of water and take a drink. Then back to bed. What time is it i think? i have no way of knowing. i am tempted to raise the blindfold and look, but i dont; that would break the rules. Back to sleep i go and and later awaken with the intense pain and i repeat the above process. In all, i woke maybe six to eight times with two of them being a hard and difficult experience. Each time i think of Mistress, most of the time was good, but a few times i was questioning myself and why i would do this. i stayed configured as instructed until the alarm went off at 10 am.

Wow, what an experience. Mistress was correct; i would think about her during the night, waking and thinking, all while She was sound asleep along side Her pet and Her little pet was hundreds of miles away in agony thinking of her. After waking, i went online and chatted for a short period with Mistress and i think She was pleased with the outcome. i have a sneaking suspicion, that this may become a more normal sleeping configuration when i travel. Time will tell.

 

Party Recap - Sunday Night

After staying up late and going through so much earlier in the day, I actually decided to slip away into my room and rest. I was both mentally and physically tired. After a nice nap, I awoke to the sound of an active kitchen. Pet was again hard at work in the kitchen working on dinner. Like breakfast, dinner was excellent and filling. Once dinner was complete, all the worker-bees went about cleaning the table and washing the dishes, while the Mistress’s relaxed. When the kitchen was clean everyone joined in and had some nice relaxing down time.

As the sun set and darkness fell, things slowly started to get back into action. Mistress Renae and her dominique disappeared into the playroom and were in there for quite some time. Mistress Michelle seemed to know the plan, but all others were left in the dark. The only thing we were told was that dominique needed to get into the right frame of mind. At this point the wine was opened and Mistress had a glass. Time was dragging by and some were getting restless; anticipation at work. Susie served some crackers and cheese and I fixed a mixed drink to relax. Mistress was sitting in a nice leather chair and I sat on the ottoman facing her. She had her legs outstretched to either side of me. I started giving Mistress a nice gentle leg massage. At some point, pet sat next to her and was giving Mistress Renae a massage. She had emerged from the play room, although dominique was still in there. As I massaged Mistress’s leg, I could feel the stress released. She sunk lower in the chair and become more and more relaxed. While I enjoyed this thoroughly, it was a little strange since her pet was right next to us, but he was also doing the same to Mistress Renae. Somehow conversation turns towards my recent shopping trips and all the panties that I have purchased. Mistress decides that I should give a fashion show. I go to my room and model each pair of panties that I have purchased. The last one I have on is one with garters and some hosiery. Both Mistress’s seem amused. Then, out of the blue, and probably a little bored, Mistress Michelle asks Susie to get her paddle and it is time for some whippin’s. Mistress Michelle loves whippin’s. Susie gets hers first, and then she wants me over her lap and I get mine. Satisfied, Mistress put the paddle down and returns to the chair, her wine, and massage. Then focus shifts to Susie. Mistress had purchased this nice big mop and with a nice BIG and ROUND mop handle for Susie to mop the floor with….with the mop stuck in her ass. So Susie diligently retrieves the mop, put the head on it and then puts a condom on the other end. Down on her knees with the mop against the bar, Susie ‘grabs’ the mop. Susie now is on all fours, with a mop stuck in her ass, dressed in her nice maid dress mopping the floor. This is a KODAK moment (see profile). So out come the cameras and I take a few with my camera both from behind and the front. As I move to position myself for just that perfect angle, I am moving between chairs and then kick something. Oh, NO, it is a glass of red wine. Over it goes, glass breaks, and wine is everywhere. I look down and I see wine all over my nice new thigh high hose. I quickly go to wash them out, pet cleans the glass from the floor, and we laugh….susie, we need the mop. Susie was so cute.

Finally Mistress Renae got up and went back into the play room. Shortly thereafter, Mistress Michelle got up and went in there as well. This left pet and little pet there to wonder, what the heck was going on. Then Mistress Michelle called pet to the play room. Now it is Susie and me, left to contemplate the future. Many things will run through your mind at a time like this and time went at a snails pace. After a while Mistress returns and I resume the leg massage, which then turned slowly into a full body massage. Sensing her response to my motions, I continued in an order to maximize her pleasure. Some time passes and pet emerges from the play room.

Pet sits next to his Mistress Michelle and they start talking and I am intently listening. However, they are talking in some generalities and I have no clue what they are talking about. I try to follow, but can’t quite piece it together. I get up briefly and then return. Mistress Michelle then stands up and grabs my leash and yanks me towards her. She now has a serious look on her face. I am somewhat startled. She pulls me close to her and then pulls hard down on the leash so my head is now resting between her shoulder and her bosom. She then starts whispering into my each. It is quiet, but it is also very authoritative. It is like she is scolding me but in a whispering tone. I am still disoriented as I have never seen this side of Mistress. She says, “You’re going to be a good little pet aren’t you? You’re going to do as your told aren’t you little pet? You are going to please your Mistress and make me happy. And if I allow you to come, you won’t become a lazy sub will you.” No, I reply, but then she yanks on the leash, pulling me very close to her and putting a lot of tension on my collar. She repeats “You will not be lazy will you? And you will rebound for me, won’t you little pet.” And so it continues and about all I can muster is a No Mistress or a Yes Mistress. My mind is completely confused and disoriented. I know something is about to happen and probably back in the play room where dominique is located, in her right frame of mind, where pet just emerged and where Mistress Renae has been for the past several hours. Will Mistress Michelle be there, or will I be left in the hands of Mistress Renae? As my heart is pounding, Mistress Renae emerges from the play room and has a few words with Mistress Michelle. I know they are talking about me, but again it is in general terms and I do not know the context; both Mistress’s seem to know the context, but not me. Mistress Michelle then releases the tension on the on my leash and hands it to Mistress Renae and she leads towards a bathroom on the other side of the house. I suddenly feel very venerable. I am no longer under the protection of my Mistress Michelle. I am now in the hands of another Mistress, one in which I have no relationship with. Does she know my limits, I wonder. What is she going to do? I promised Mistress Michelle I would do whatever I was asked, but it never occurred to me it would be at the hands of Mistress Renae. Oh, how I long to have that leash given back to Mistress Michelle, but that is not going to happen.

We enter the bathroom and the door is shut behind. Mistress Renae is being gentle and comforting to me. She asks me if I know what is going on, to which I reply that I do not. During this time, she has a warm damp wash cloth and is slowly giving me a damp sponge type bath. She continues to talk with me as she works. She asks me if I have ever had my cock sucked by a man. Again, I tell I have not. She tells me that I will be dominique’s second one; pet was the first. Again the feelings are all over the place. Complete, she opens the door and leads me back across the room by my leash. As Mistress Renae passes by where Mistress Michelle they seem to make eye contact and smile. They know what is about to happen.

As we near the play room, on goes the blind fold. We enter the room and I am directed to sit on the bed and then lay back. I think dominique is to my right on the bed. Then Mistress Renae starts talking to and commanding dominique. She is to rub my cock. Some lube is applied and then she starts rubbing. Initially, I am nervous and realizing that a man, dressed in a pink frilly dress is rubbing my cock. The nerves initially prevent any thing from happening, but dominique continues stroking my cock. Mistress Renae continues to coach her. At some point, Mistress Michelle enters the room and sits on the bed so that she is hear my head. She holds me and comforts me and coaches me as this unfolds. Mistress Renae then instructs me that I am NOT to come and that I need to tell her when I am near. Finally the intensity of the situation culminates and I am about to come and tell Mistress. dominique is instructed to stop immediately and then squeeze the base of my cock. A few moments pass and the pending orgasm is abated. Then Mistress Renae tells dominique to start sucking my cock. I can’t believe this is happening. While this was a secret fantasy that I shared with my Mistress, I can’t really believe I find myself in this place. And just like when dominique started stroking my cock, I do not initially get into it. But it all continues, and I start to slowly recover. But I am not getting anywhere near erect like I was a few minutes earlier. The sucking continues; Mistress Renae is coaching dominique, Mistress Michelle is talking to me, the senses are running wild. Mentally I am really trying to focus so that I can get back to the high arousal state. Switching between stroking and sucking, I slowly, ever so slowly start to get aroused. I get about 80% there, but still can’t quite get there. Then, almost out of instinct, I grab dominique’s head like one might do anytime they are getting a blow job. I help guide her just right, I start thrusting and at one point I jammed by cock way into her mouth and cause her to gage. Oh, no, now I fall backwards a little more. Mistress is still urging me along and also telling me that I NEED TO DO AS SHE WANTS. So there is now the order, the guilt, and I try even harder. Then I hear Mistress Michelle tell pet to get on the bed. I am not sure how long he has been there. He then straddles my head and I am instructed to suck his cock. Now I have dominique sucking my cock, and I am sucking on pets. The stimulation, both mental and physical is increasing. I am starting to get aroused. Then Mistress Michelle spanks pet’s ass as he is humping my mouth. This sends me into a mental climax. She does this about three or four times, after which I finally climax. It was a huge, mind blowing climax. I felt like I came for a minute. dominique was overloaded. Mistress Renae tells her to clean it up. Then Mistress Michelle tells pet to get the rest. I am now very stiff and rigid and as time passes, I finally relax. Mistress Michelle holds my head and gives me some kind words. I am left to recover.

Now that the last event has finished and everyone has recovered Mistress Michelle needs her pets clean. So she sends pet and little pet to the shower….together. And just so you get the proper picture, the shower is one of those small unit type that is barely big enough for one person, so with two it is really cozy. With a smile, Mistress tells us to shower and that we are to wash each other, from head to toe and back. So in we go. We almost have to hug each other just to get in the shower. Pet goes first and it is not too weird until, he gets to the private area. Once he completes me, I start on him. Again, it is not too bad, until I get to the mid section. So stalling, I briefly skip to the legs, but then get back to the cock, balls, and ass. Once complete, we both get out of the shower and share one towel to dry. Mistress soon appears and is carrying a box. She opens it and then I notice it is an enema. I must be getting prepared for the next act. I bend over the tub and she inserts it into my anus and fills me up. Then she says I may sit on the toilet, but may NOT do anything until she says. And with that she leaves and mingles in the living room, while I am left sitting there thinking this is not bad and wondering about my next fate. But after about 5 minutes or so, the urge to release quickly comes over me. I focus and hold it for the time being; however it is really getting bad. So I finally stand figuring that will make it easier to hold it. Getting desperate, I call out for Mistress several times. Finally she appears with that big smile on her face. She holds out for a few moments, but then says I can go. I quickly sit back down and release the enema. She is sitting on the bed and we can see each other. All the while we talk. While that normally might have been awkward, my needs trumped that feeling. Once I fully recover, she tells me to shower again and make sure I am nice and clean. Once I am done, I report to Mistress.

Mistress enters the room has me stand at the foot of the bed and then I am bent over onto the bed, with my legs spread apart. Mistress then has pet get her feeldo, which is what she uses instead of a strapon dildo. She then lubes my ass and starts to insert it into my ass. While I have done a little ass playing prior to the party, I am a virgin. Mistress is very gentle, but my breath is still taken away as this starts. She slowly pushes and I try to take it, but the going is slow. Finally, it slips all the way in. I can’t believe I am standing here being fucked in the ass. Slowly she starts to push in and out. I adjust and start to push into it as she goes. I don’t know how long it goes, but all I know is that I am breathing really hard. As she continues, I start to get a weird sensation you get when your prostate is massaged. She then instructs pet to get down on his knees and lick my balls. Mistress gets a nice rhythm going, pet is licking my balls, and I am breathing very hard. Finally she stops am I just collapse on the bed. However, as she pulls out, I hear her tell pet to get up and he is to now fuck me in the ass. Before I can even comprehend what is about to happen, pet pushes and in pops his cock into my ass. It is a much different feeling. He then pumps for some time. Again, I get up on my toes, and point my ass up and push back. And just at that point, Mistress Renae pops into the room. While pet continues to work, the magic in the air is let out. The whole experience is way too intense. Spent, pet finally stops and just leaves his cock in my ass and waits for permission to pull out.

As we relax and clean the toys, Mistress is talking about the weekend. It is almost over. I look around and notice the humbler on the floor. I ask her if I can try that out. Perplexed that I would ask for such, Mistress eager complies. She has pet install the device on me and I am left to squirm around on the floor, while Mistress and pet start to gather up the toys from the weekend. Once Mistress had pet working, she grabbed her paddle and started to get after my ass which was now so conveniently exposed and displayed. Swat after swat she goes. With my ass now nice and red, she goes for the crop. She gives me a couple of swats on the ass and then suddenly sees a new target. She sees my feet and then starts to work them over with the crop. Like the paddle, it really hurts, but I crave to have her do more. Several quick and repeated strokes on one foot, and then the other, and back again. Now my feet are on fire. She rests for a minute, but then decides that was so much fun, that she goes at it again. Suddenly, a thwack of the crop across the foot and the leather flap on the end of the crop snaps off. Mistress broke the crop on my foot. She initially laughs, but then is a little perturbed that I broke her crop. Finally I am let out of the humbler and I gather my things and leave the room. The night is almost over and I am no longer a virgin!

As the night comes to an end, everyone is gathering in the common area engaged in idle talk. I ask Mistress if she needs anything and she says she does not. I then head to my room to retire for the night and dream about the party that was. I then ask Mistress if she wants me locked tonight. Somewhat in a distracted response, she says no. A little confused and disappointed by that response, I head to bed. A few minutes later, Susie enters the room and tells me that Mistress has decided I should be locked. Now confused by the change, I gladly work to put the cage on. It takes a little while since I am partially aroused due to all the thoughts and stimulation of the night. Finally locked, I lay down to sleep. It is just after midnight. The party has ended and it is no longer a fantasy, but a reality. Many things were better than I thought, many were different, and many others are still a fantasy. I smile as I drift off to sleep…..

Suddenly I am awoken from my sleep. Pet has entered the room and tells me that I am to report to Mistress Michelle’s room and bring my key. I look up, again confused as I am still somewhat groggy from being asleep. But I confirm pet is standing there and I get up and follow him to their suite. And so the party recap ends as the door to their room shuts….

 

What a Night

First off, thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read my party posts. i do appreciate your kind words to me and especially to the thanks directed to Mistress Michelle. Without her work, none of this would have been possible.

Again, i was off on travels which allowed me some private time on line with Mistress Michelle. We had talked about this time for a day or so leading up to it so naturally, i was a little nervous again. She had told me that She had a surprise for me. i wonder what that could be. She had also instructed be to bring all my things with me, and when i left for work i was to be locked, plugged, and wearing panties w/garter and hose. Then time permitting, i was to go purchase a chain. With all things done, i head to work, stop by the store on the way and purchase the chain. While at the store though, i had a severe case of the dropping hose and panties. i had to walk quite a bit and as i did, the thigh high hose slowly slid down my leg, bringing with it the panties. i kept trying to hike them back up, but that is hard to do in a discrete manner. So eventually, i let gravity take its toll. It really felt weird, but i am sure no one could notice through my clothes. i did realize at that point, that these garments and NOT made for everyday wear, but for those sensual moments. With purchase in had, i finished the short trip to work at which i quickly disappear into the bathroom to fix my situation. i have to admit, that it did look rather hilarious. Now fixed, i go about my day thinking about the evening meeting with Mistress.

i finally get to my room around 8 pm and get settled in and then get online. At about 8:30, Mistress and i find each other on the electronic highway. i have my camera hooked up and i am dressed only in my panties and hose. We chat for a little bit and then some how i make the comment that i wished i could see Her as She can see me. Then She says, “Well maybe you can.” Pop, up comes a web cam request from Mistress. i quickly accept the request and there is Her smiling face. i was so surprised and it lifted my spirits somewhat. We continue chatting and i learn that one of her other long distant subs had sent that to Her. Thanks cks. When i learned that, i was a little disappointed that i hadn’t thought of that idea. Dang, now i have to work harder to climb back up the ladder. We then commenced to chat for quite sometime. It was just nice and relaxing. Then Mistress decided that it was time to work; on with the clothes pin on the nipples. Oh how i hate those things. She then makes the comment, that it is amazing what men hundreds of miles away will do for their Mistress. i am never quite sure how to take that comment, but usually I initially take it poorly; kind of like a slap in the face, but then i just move on. We are just having some innocent fun. Then on with the collar, leash, and wrist restraints, which are then locked together. Now we continue chatting some more. Since my hands are together now, i have to work harder and much slower to type, but i can get the job done. Later She decides i need to remove the cage, but leave the Ring and Points (Medium) on. This is of course followed by a nice long denial session where i am stroking my cock to the edge only. Mistress is typing a lot of erotic imagery and i am getting rock hard, which by the way feels GOOD and HURTS LIKE HELL because of the points. The hurt would always stop my stroking way before i was about to go over the edge though, so i guess they work as designed. Finally we stop and She notices the pins are still on my nipples. Yank them off she says. i am very opposed to this strategy and let her know this. However, She wins in the end and i finally pull them off and it hurts just like always….ALOT. After i recover, we go back to chatting. We later repeated both the nipple routine and the denial routine. Then as it neared 11, i get my instructions that i will again sleep caged, plugged, wrists locked together, and blindfolded. She also adds that my wrist chain will also be attached to the CB cage thereby keeping my hands down with little movement. i am also to attach the chain to the bed and lock that to my wrists.

So we sign off and i commence getting ready for bed. Most of it is not hard, but i realize that getting the blindfold on with my hands locked down, will be a challenge. So i change the order of how i do everything and finally get all the items done. Now i am laying on my back, hand basically cupped around my groin, as this is the only place they can go, with another chain running from the foot of the bed locked onto my wrists. At first it is OK, but i quickly realize that sleeping anyway but on my back will be nearly impossible. i also find, pulling the covers over me and moving pillows is a challenge. i have to lean and use my mouth, but after 10 minutes or so i get settled. There, not bad, i think; again, short lived, as i get an itch on my nose. i try to ignore it, which only seems to make it worse. Then i lean forward all the way and i am barely able to rub it with my hand. Back down i go trying to keep the covers from falling off. This repeats itself several times which frustrates me. i work to try and relax, but i normally do not sleep in this position, so i find it difficult. i am becoming increasingly frustrated. i need to sleep. So i try to relax, but to no avail. As the walls suddenly close in on me, i decide that i will have to undo the wrist chain from the cage so I can move my hands. i just can’t do it. So now, in an ever increasing level of fear and urgency, i get up and make my way to the table where the key was left. The chain is just long enough for me to get there. Keep in mind, the room is dark, I’m blindfolded, and my hands are bound to my cage with little range of motion. i find the key with little issue, but as i try to get the key into the lock, i realize that is not working. As my heartbeat now increases, i decide i need to move back to the bed and sit down. i should be able to unlock that way. Is my worst fear about to be realized! Will i be all locked up, chained up, alone, and in a strange place? So i back towards the bed, but i seem to be going too far. At that same point, relief, i have run into something. But that relief is short lived as i realize that i am against a wall, not the bed. Where the hell did the bed go? My stress level shoots through the roof. Now i am scared and lost. Never mind the fact that all i have to do is pull on the chain and slowly make my way to the bed; the other end is hooked there. i am under a sudden panic attack and that small fact escapes me. i move down the wall, one way and then the other….nothing. i am so confused; i don’t know where i am. i can’t reach my blindfold or i would wave the white flag and do that. i then move back away from the small comfort of the wall into the open space. But which way do I turn? i am totally disoriented and i have no clue. i pick a direction and to my relief I find the bed. Now i urgently try to find the correct lock and to insert the key into that lock. SHIT; as i fidget, i now drop the key. How can this be happening i think? The walls in my mind have almost completely collapsed on me; yet i find the strength and presence of mind to kneel down on the floor and feel around for the key. After a few moments i find the key and finally unlock the proper lock and free my wrist chain. i now immediately go to my head and take off the blind fold and allow myself to get my bearings. My head and body, i notice, i totally sweat soaked. i take a moment to recover and release the stress. i look at the clock and i had spent an hour and fifteen minutes in that state of mind. Once i am calmed down, i get my blindfold back on and get everything situated and then head back to bed, minus the wrist chain attached to my cage. i really hope Mistress will not be mad or disappointed.

The remainder of the night goes by without any other abnormal issues. i woke a few times as normal when my mind raced into a space that caused me to get aroused and thereby put the points from my cage in play. Despite my bout with the fear monster, the night was enjoyable and definitely memorable.

 

November 19, 2008 - Sadness

Sadness, that is what i am feeling. i have been away from my New Life in Submission and now i find myself very disoriented, confused, and sad.

i have read many posts on this site where couples struggle with applying chastity while juggling all of lifes day to day events. i guess i can now identify with those people. As most of you know, i am only able to play with chastity long distance since i cannot get it accepted within my own relationship. Despite that hurdle, the last few months have been very enjoyable, intense, and fulfilling, thanks to Mistress Michelle. But last week, everything came to a screeching halt. i had occasion to have numerous family members visiting over the past week. So this obviously that eliminated any contact between myself and Mistress. It also prevented me from using my -2000 CB. Going into that week, i thought, No big deal. i will miss my chats with Mistress, but it will be no big deal. Boy was i wrong. As the week went by, i found myself craving the need to be locked and those chats with Mistress. The day before yesterday, i was finally able to chat with Mistress. While it was a relief, i found myself not wanting or at least not knowing if i wanted to be locked. i experienced a whole range of emotions through that time and i contemplated my situation from afar. It made me realize that i really wanted to have a keyholder; but i realized that will never truly happen. So i became very sad about that. As i talked with Mistress, She sensed my confusion and has tried to help pick me up. i told her i would be OK and i would recover and get back to on track. Today i find myself back in my -2000 and it gives me some comfort, but i still am not totally feeling the connection. i am sure that it will return.

As i reflect on this past week, it has made me understand what couples go through when life events step in to break the routine. i think chastity does several things. For me, i think it has made me more emotional or more emotionally connected to my proxy keyholder. i would assume this would be true in a normal relationship. So when there is a break like this, the emotion and the affect is much greater than without chastity. i think that then sets up a situation whereby both the keyholder and the sub have to be committed to getting back to the space they were in and it will take some work to overcome the initial feelings. my expectation is that once over that hurdle, things will start to fall back into place. At least i hope that is the case, because right now i find myself still a little blue and longing for that connection with Mistress. In a strange sort of way, that feeling gave me a sense of purpose and i would assume for a normal couple that lives together that feeling would be even greater.

 

A small glimmer of hope

A glimmer of hope is spotted. i know my post yesterday was somewhat of a down moment. i typically dont have them often, but when i do they are pretty intense. So i apologize to all for making my pity party public yesterday. While i am still struggling somewhat with a range of emotions, i am feeling better and i still long to get back to the submissive space that i was in at the beginning of the month. i was able to share with Mistress last night all the sources of my demise. That in itself was helpful.

i was able to sleep locked again last night. i know for me that will bring me back to where i need quicker that anything else. During the night around 3 am or so, i woke to the pains from the Points in my -2000. The sad part is, i had the small ones in and that woke me. The other sad part is that when i woke, i found myself more mad that it was happening than i did think of Mistress. But that is a direct result of not being totally focused. The glimmer of hope that i spoke of was that as i awakened this morning, i found myself having thoughts of being submissive and of being at Mistresss feet getting the pleasure, and pain, of her paddle. While those thoughts only lasted for a few moments, it did give me hope that i can get back to where i was. i know it took a while before, but i was hoping it would be quicker this time.

 

Hmmmm...(to quote the beautiful Mistress Michelle), I like my points, BUT I think a different adjective other than fun might be in order. They do remind me of Mistress thats for sure. And when I get aroused and I tell her they hurt....she says, "Well that is what they are designed for silly!" with a laugh of course

So the good thing about POI is that they come in three sizes, so you should be able to find that right combination to provide the needed reminder without them actually hurting you. For example, for me the large POI are basically out of the question, as I do think those could/would do some damage, but the medium seem to work pretty well. When I first tried them, the smallest were even hard for me. But I worked up the courage to go to the medium size and figured there was no way I could make it a whole day with them. While it was difficult, I found that with the right level of concentration, it was very possible; and that concentration is one of the desired affects.

 

....not

Hello to all. I am so sorry to have suddenly disappeared, without a trace and without explanation. I also truly apologize to Mistress Michelle as I almost completely disappeared from her as well, although there were a few traces in that case. So I guess in the grand scheme of things, I simply gave everybody a break from having to keep up with my daily musings and that might not be all bad.

So here I am in My New Life in Submission.NOT. It has been so long, I almost feel like I need to start all over with my introduction and then go from there. But I will spare you from that. I will tell you that many things have concurrently conspired against me and for the most part have pushed me back to the sidelines only wishing that I could be locked and submitting. From all my reading at this wonderful site, I have learned that it is difficult enough to keep this lifestyle going when you live with your partner; however, it is much more difficult when you live with an unaccepting partner and try to submit via a long distant relationship. For me I have been lucky in the regard that Mistress Michelle accepted me and my situation and has worked with me for several months. I am very grateful for that. However, the down side of that is that sometimes circumstances prevent the needed touch points with your remote partner and thereby it kills that wonderful edge that comes with being locked. I think I have said this before, being locked without a purpose really does nothing.

So while I do not totally expect to have any semblance of order until after the first of the year, I do hope to get back on a more normal schedule and back into My New (again) Life in Submission.

Happy Birthday Mistress!