Part 4 ~ Putting the "FUN" in DysFUNctional...

xcite, I'm sorry :animal0008: And as for having faith... welllll look where we are today!

Nothing really "bad" has happened, except something stupid I did, but we're crashing as ever. Not happy, not close or intimate, just distant and really miserable.

pet became immediately less interested after the sexual encounter. This may have been coincidental and had more to do with other pressures (test at college, money worries... etc) but when we tried to have sex the following morning and it all failed miserably, I reacted in my usual self-concious way.

Feeling upset and unwanted I lashed out that he was selfish, he'd got what he wanted, didn't want me for anything other than his own selfish pleasure... blah blah blah.

I considered locking him up. If I'm truthful I consider locking him up on a daily basis. I don't because there's always something - he might not be able to manage with it at college, and he feels vulnerable enough there as it is, or he has to spend the day tending to baby and being locked up might make that awkward. I don't know why I make these excuses, but I do. :animal0017:

I've been feeling very horny and flirty, and you can tell this is "visible" by the responses I get from men. My Serbian class-mate is becoming more flirty in return, in a childish, pouty, daft sort of way... and I'm loving the attention. He is very happily married, so I wouldn't pursue anything further, but I'll enjoy the attention!

I thought my Belgian class-mate had lost interest, but he seems to be very shy... which surprised me, given my earlier perceptions.

Friday I did something very stupid. I got drunk. I don't drink very much and we went to visit some "friends" of mine. She was my very best friend, but her other-half is a Neanderthal, a proper British lager lout... another one of those people who is quick to point out how fat I am every time I see him. Mind you, she is a size 10 and is always worried about her weight, so I think stick-thin still isn't thin enough.

So yes, I got very drunk. And very sick. And very depressed for the whole of Saturday.

pet was amazing and looked after me without a single moan. He *hates* it when I get drunk, which is why I stopped drinking in the first place, so for him to be so nice to me was really appreciated.

But I still feel like there is this huge distance between us now. I feel beyond sad, and could quite happily hide in the bedroom all day, but I really need to suck it up and get on with things.

I never know how to fix these things. And I just feel very lonely. :character0117:

 

Just a quick update!

Basically... nothing is happening. :animal0017:

mike, thanks for the thoughts on booze and sugar. I'm not really a sugar monster, I love my savouries, but it's something I could bear in mind. As for booze, I rarely drink, and now I remember why!

pt and kris, thanks for caring. :animal0008:

So... no sex happening. Can't remember the last time I had the time or the energy. I did dream that I was mad at pet last night for not having sex with me, tied him to a chair wearing the big pink strap-on and was quite brutal with him, so my urges are still here somewhere, but I'm pushing them to the back of my mind... too busy!

My new love, University, has taken over everything. It is all consuming, and I adore (and hate) it, but it is the most important thing in my life right now.

Oh, and we have a kitten. :animal0048:

Why? Obviously my life is so boring and so calm and so predictable, we desperately needed a small bundle of fluff to come and poop everywhere! :anim_43:

She (he?) is ginger, quite rare for a female, but we are told it is a female. So I bought lots of pink. Lots and lots of pink. I figure if it's not female it will just have to be a sissy cat and be done with it!

No name as of yet. Marmalade, Fizzgig, Babycham, Biscuit, Willow.... grrrrrr, can't decide.

 

Morning all.

I spent most of yesterday at our designated "deprived estate" which made me feel pretty depressed and tired. In the afternoon we had a lecture on eco-towns and I must have just been in a really cynical mood, because I found that very depressing too!

I was very tired and hungry when I got home, but pet greeted me at the door and told me to put my bag up in our room and come down for dinner.

When I went upstairs, there were a few things on the bed for me, a card, a magazine and a box of Kinder eggs. Made me smile because they were all a bit silly, which I really like.

Dinner was all laid out on the table, and I dug in straight away. Then it was a mad dash out to Brownies, where we did sparklers (it was Guy Fawkes night yesterday... that odd time of year where we appear to celebrate a terrorist!). Sparklers with a bunch of 10 year olds is pretty stressful!!!

When I got home, I had intended to do the reading for today, but I was so tired. pet had also bought me some salmon and cream cheese nibbly things, so I munched those down and went to sleep.

I had a couple of horny dreams in the night, and figured I hadn't been very receptive to pet recently so I snuggled up to him naked. Unfortunately we had a bit of a misunderstanding (what's new there!) followed by a conversation, then pretty good vanilla sex.

So all is well (ish) in the world today. I have about 30 minutes to cram in my reading before I go to Uni, but I'm hoping to sit quietly in the corner and be invisible today.

Have a good day everyone. :animal0008:

 

Today's decision - chastity is not for us.... (at the moment)

The device looks like it should fit perfectly, but pet isn't circumcised, so it's just not happening.

I'm livid, annoyed, upset, and just so over the whole thing.

But... everything else has been going so well. pet is pretty much house-trained now. Cooks, cleans (ish!), does laundry (ish!), organises the kids 24/7, and wants to become more of a househusband every day.

I love this, it's so great to come home after a long day to a cooked meal in a reasonably tidy home with kids doing their homework, etc.

This is the reason I'm not saying "never".

There are 2 ways around this... 1) get pet circumcised. Pretty drastic! 2) wait it out for a while, continue working our way into a more FemDomme lifestyle and then decide if we want to go for a full belt.

At the moment I'm too busy to give it my full attention, so I will let pet continue to try to "settle" in to the Lori and see what happens.

I have a headache, so I don't feel like typing much more. :anim_39:

 

Ms Lori is a law unto herself, even if she is a genius!

knightservant... I had to read your message a couple of times, then I was drawn to the fact you are an engineer and switched to "engineer dyslexia mode" (father, ex-husband, and also worked for 30 of the blighters!) I guess you mean, pierce the fore skin so that the piercing goes through both.

Genius! I wonder if that's feasible? Anyone know?

 

I hope you didn't think I was being rude knightservant... it's a running joke in my family and also my old place of work that engineer's are incredibly intelligent people, but have absolutely no comprehension of the English language. At least you have good reason!

Thanks also to everyone else for their comments on the additional piercing. :animal0008:

 

Hahahahahahahahaha... oh hang on, should I not really laugh at that? Ah well, all political correctness out of ze way... it's very funny!

I've had a very good day today. Feeling much more "myself".

pet and I snuggled up in the living room with some Christmas songs, a roaring fire and a bottle of red wine and did some online shopping.

I was searching for my mum's Amazon wish list and couldn't find it, so while I was waiting for her to come online and confirm what it was, I decided to put a search in for "Mistress" and was AMAZED at the number of wish-lists that came up.

So then I went peeking! I found lots of great ideas for books that I would like, and nearly added one to my "vanilla" wish list... then figured my mother would NOT be impressed!

Then I thought I'd have a go of setting up a tribute list, but I really struggled Lol! I found a couple of books through one of the other Mistresses wish lists, and then I remembered a pair of shoes I saw at the weekend that I would never buy myself... but I stroked them a lot in the shop!!! Lo and behold you don't just have to put books on your list, you can put shoes on it too! Whole new world.

Shopping aside, it's just dawned on me that pet should be wearing his CB, so I might go and tease him for a bit.

Life seems like its back to the kinkier side of normal. :animal0008:

 

Good morning everyone! I'm still on the up, despite having a very restless night. pet's night was a lot worse than mine, because baby woke up several times and (being such a daddy's girl) he is usually the only one who can console her.

I got a little annoyed in the middle of the night. pet had come back to the bedroom and decided to get frisky, I felt that I should seize the moment but was actually way too tired so I snapped at him and we both fell immediately to sleep.

I have been back to my usual horny self lately, but I really do want my quality, kinky sex life back, rather than this "roll over in bed for a quickie" vanilla version.

There's only one person who can put this right! :character0028: <<<---- SuperMW!

Sorry - lack of sleep and too much caffeine = slightly mad first thing in the morning! :animal0017:

 

Thanks kinkish :animal0008:

pet is really working at making my life easier and more pleasant, and hopefully not sneaking off for any quickies!

I *know* he isn't at the moment because I've locked him back up! (YAY!) Back in the CB6k and no teething problems.

He has asked me a couple of times "why?" and I honestly don't know. I'm trying not to think too much about it, I'm just doing it because it feels right at the moment.

He's feeling a bit confused because we had great sex and then I locked him up. He says he didn't see why he was being punished... hence why my new signature "chastity is a reward, not a punishment".

I'm beginning to struggle a bit with life in general. The realisation that there is a LOT to fit in these weeks running up to Christmas is becoming overwhelming.

pet has asked if he can do more, but to be honest it's all down to me now! The fact that he is cleaning, shopping, cooking and generally keeping house is more than enough to help.

Maybe there will be more exciting stuff to report soon. If I get the energy! :character0028: