The real feeling of Chastity

Late night..gotta work in the am. Been running around all weekend cleaning the garage again, and taking care of little things.

My princess spent much of the day playing with the computer and recording wave files for me to listen to on Tuesday.

Also, I was hoping for an orgasm this weekend, but evidently yelling at her last week cut that off..and my teases were short lived. Sigh.

SFD; I did talk to her about the hypnosis during one of the teases though. I told her that I was a little concerned about going through it, and wanted to know if she planned on turning me into some wimp or whatever. She was sort of taken aback by it. I didn't go into any details..believe me, the last thing I want to do is put something into her head; I just asked if she expected me to become like someone who is very delicate; i mean with the shaving and all.....she gave me assurances that all she wants to do is strenghten our relationship, and she has no intent on turning me into a 'wimp'. She just wants me shaved and naked because it makes her feel secure in her position.

anyway, thats it for the night..

Enjoy

M

 

Another long day today. Not much happening sexually on my side; but she seems to be super horney tonight.>She had me going at her from 9-10, first with my mouth, then with my 'clone' dildo, and finally with a vibrator. What an appitite.

She's excited about me going 'under' tomorrow.

I'm very curious about what this is going to be. I think its actually not going to be much..just listening to myself isn't too thrilling..so who knows..anyway, I'll write about it tomorrow if I'm still the same person ;-)

M

 

Belated V day everyone..

Well..That wasn't anywhere near as bad as I was expecting ;-) Pretty mundane, actually.

I got home yesterday, and she went right into it.

I put headphones in my ears, heavy leather mask on, no gag, and the nano attached to the back of my head. She had me sit relaxed in a chair, and pushed play....After fixing the volume, she just sat down, and read a magazine, while I listened.

The first part was her lovely voice telling me how much she appreciated my willingness to do this. Her voice was very soothing. Next, and unexpected, was her soft voice telling me to relax, and then took me on a elevator ride from top to bottom floor, telling me to get more relaxed with each floor ;-)) Honestly, by the time I was at the 10th floor, I could have gone to sleep. 5th floor, I swear every muscle in my body was tension free..and then when we hit the ground floor, her voice told me I was in a hypnotic state; Really? I don't think so.

So I settled into the next track, and it was me. I listened, trying to focus on my breathing, and after about two of my tracks (10 dedications each), she came back in and just went on and on about how good of a slave I've been, how much she appreciated it, and how I should be proud of myself. Me again for another two tracks, and she again with the same track as before..and me again.

Then, her voice came on again and asked me to get on my knees. I did so, and as the track changed, she thanked me through her track..I'm thinking she really had this planned out!, but I keep listening. Another 2 tracks of my dedications, and then her voice tells me that she's going to count back, and then I'm going to come out of the hypnosis. When I'm out, she wants me get infront of her, and lick her shoes until the program ends.

So I listen to her count down, when she hits zero, I move infront of her, she sticks out her shoe, and I start licking like the good slave I am while I hear another 2 dedications from me, and its done.

No crazy stuff, no serious suggestions, and I'm sure as heck the same person and not some zombie.

Today was the same, word for word. Pretty relaxing.

Her expectation is that I go through this daily, with me licking her shoe everytime the program ends. I can handle that..

And best, I got major hour long teases, with a promise of a long awaited orgasm this weekend! yea..

I'll tell you, I think I'll do anything for a blowjob from her. Her lips where so close, I could feel her breath over and over...

Me so horny..

Anyway; off to the sack..PIck up my check tomorrow, and cash it for her again.

M

 

New program today. I'm actually enjoying the time with my nano. Hearing her voice is in my head is soo soothing. She really has an amazing voice, and hearing her this way, is so comforting.

So now its my meditation time (not refered to as hypnosis, as I don't think it is anyway). I think I'm going to re-record my dedications too..I'm going to use a softer voice. I can hear an edge in my voice that sort of puts me off.

Anyway, new program, but same stuff.

M

 

Handed over my paycheck again today in cash right when I got home, in front of Ms. Suz. Totally ignored, then instructed to do my meditation.
I must say I didn't feel the least intimidated licking my wifes shoe's in front of her. Sort of sexy if you ask me. I get into it. Crazy?

Anyway, spent the evening downstairs, and then teased for a while, then bed...Tired now..Hitting the sack..

Going to redo the dedications tomorrow.

L8r.

m

 

Long emotional weekend; and I'm feeling a little down.

Saturday night, Ms. Cathy and Trace came over for dinner again. I thought it would be a fun night as before, and as usual, Ms. C asked if Trace should undress, and she said no, but I'm in my usual lack of garb, and its normal for me now, so I didn't care.

As the two women settled, Trace moved into a corner, and hung out, while Ms, C presented a gift box for my wife. I thought nothing of it, but I noticed that Trace was looking at me with a smirk on his face. I didn't get it, and went over to give the ladies the wine, as my wife opened the gift. It was a clone-a-willy, and not mine. As my wife handled it, I felt an amazing stab of jealousy; Then, worse, my wife changed her mind and asked Ms. C to have Trace undress. I swear I turned red, and Ms. C saw that, and said "Don't feel so bad, your's is getting lots of use". Thats when it hit me that Trace must have felt the same way I was feeling when my wife gave her a my dildo/willy thing a few weeks ago. I looked at Trace again, and he just had this shit eating grin on his face. I realized then that he had no idea that Ms, Cathy had given me head, and all of a sudden I didn't feel so bad.

But then it got worse, as my wife, while watching Trace undress, thanked Ms. C and said she'd use this for the weekend, rather than let me screw her. That would have been bad enough, but the conversation came around to how its been 5 weeks since my last orgasm, and Ms. C explained in too much detail how to milk me via the prostrait to avoid any wet dreams. My wife had not know about milking! Worse, my she kept talking about it all night long,

Then, as the drinks went on, dinner ended, my wife couldn't keep her hands off the dildo, or her eyes off of Trace's dick. I gotta give it to Trace though. He didn't get stiff all evening, though I would hate to have to wear the Kali ring!.

After Ms. C and he left, she wasted no time, and made me put on Trace's clone-a-willy, and prance around. I was resigned to this be evenings end, and was 1/2 into it, and 1/2 going through the motions. She, drunk as she was, seemed in a different world. I wasn't even there. Then, after she cums, she has me clean the thing. Freaky I tell you.

The next day there was no mention of it. But when we went grocery shopping, she picked up some rubber gloves, and tosses in a enema kit, saying matter of fact "thats for you'. Yikes? WTF.

All day I was nervous, and when the day ended, and she hadn't done anything, I thought I was safe. But a few hours ago, she called me up, and told me to bend over on the bed. She had the enema bag filled with a quart of milk. I was going to say 'your kidding', but thought better as she looked serious. Not sexy; just like she had a job to do, and was committed.

I bent over, and, all business, fingered me, then slid the rubber thing up my ass. I squirmed, but she just told me to be quite, and not move. Then the warm stuff started flowing, and wow. I think I went into a dream state, as I just took it.

I've never been into anything anal. nothing sexual..it was all sort of medical. I could feel my myself getting bloated, but waited. After it was done, she told me to void....It felt weird.

Then, worse, after I came out, she told me to bend over, and I gave her my first protest...She just said "Stop. This is going to happen. Do I need to gag you?" I bent over.

I won't go into the gory details, but I bent over in hulimated silence as she found my prostate, and was officially milked into a cup while in chastity. When she felt enough had come out, she said in a cheery voice, "That sure was easy." Then she made me drink/lick it up.

My ass still feels slimy; and I'm not sure how I feel..This is going to take some time to absorb emotionally.

No tease, no cum.I don't dare ask her about an orgasm.

M

 

Hi SFD; No..I think the warm feelings of the enema had to do with the warm milk ;-) Looking back, apart from the shock of having to go through it without a choice, it did sort of feel pretty good; that is before it began getting uncomfortable. I've never had one before, and if I would do it again, I'd do it with less liquid. The milking through a chastity device I could do without.

Anyway, when I got home, I was sullen really..down a little I guess. I went into the meditation again, and while in there, my wife blindfolded me, then gently locked a cuff on each of my hands, and took of my device.

She then laid me down, strattled me, and let me go deep inside her until I came. Gentle, loving, and caring. A very wonderful thing.

Whatever I felt for the weekend, she more than made it up to me. Put me in a great mood.

All is back and good with the world.



M

 

Good week. Fun week. I must say I'm having a lot of fun at home. Work seems to just drag on. I really feeling much more appreciated than usual. And I'm happier about our relationship..maybe its just a buzz from the O I had earlier this week. Life is good.

Yes, SFD; gloved finger.

Today the mediation lasted a little longer. Still a lot of her talking to me about how good I am and a full 30 mins of my new dedications; nice and relaxing. She wants me to lick her shoes now whenever I greet her, rather than kiss. I guess she's all over that. I don't mind. I do what I'm told.

Anyway, this weekend nothing real planned.. Clean up, go shopping, etc..

Enjoy everyone

M

 

Thanks Rshulz; Come on over and have some fun. Though I doubt I'll be sold into slavery or suck on someone's cock. Its just my wife and I playing games, and having fun. There is always, and I mean always, that little wink between us that we are having fun. Sure she can be a bitch at times, but wtf; arn't all women.

No; Sillydude..It is just being used for better communication. She ever reminded me to take out the garbage on Thu ;lol....

All is good..

M

 

Thanks Rita,
I'm home for the night...Went over to Ms. Suz, where I was brought into the living room for the first time, where there were to my suprise, quite a few people. At least 6 women, and 3 guys.
I was in the cage until around 11, when my wife and Ms. Suz came and got me. The told me to be silent, and just be at my wifes side. No introductions, no nothing, I just hung out as told.
When I left, I saw that some new guy was still in the cage that I had been in. Looks like I've moved up a notch..Yea??

Anyway, she was drunk again on wine, so I drove, put her to bed with an orgasm, and now I'm typing, then going to hit the sack. Tomorrow we are going shopping again; basic stuff but we are also hitting the mall.

Fun

M

 

Thanks Mistress Angelique. I appreciate your insights, and advice. ;-) And yes, we've had our communication problems.

So on Monday night, I was introduced to numbing cream. Not exactly sure what its called; didn't get a chance to look at the label, but armed with rubber gloves, my mistress put some on the tip of my penis, then after about 15 mins, got me hard, and jumped on top of me. Strict instructions not to cum. It didn't take long to realize that it wasn't enough, but instead of letting me finish, she just put the device back on, and had me go to work on her.

Last night didn't work out so well either. She put a lot more of this cream on me, then couldn't get me hard at all, as I couldn't feel a darn thing. This was the weirdest feeling I've ever had. It was like my dick didn't exist. We waited for about 2 hours for the feeling to come back before she locked me up for the night.

Tonight was another failed attempt. Although I could feel a little, I just could't keep hard. Her perspective is try try again, so tomorrow hopfully I'll get to screw her for a while, and feel just enough so as not to orgasm. I'm actually looking forward to it.

Anyway, good night all

M

 

I'm still not sure what she is using, as I'm usually laid down, hands cuffed, etc with no real view but the ceiling. She a little less on tonight, and again, left it on for 15 mins, then washed it all of..evidently it isn't being transfered, otherwise, she would do something different, I suppose.

Tonight she kept the testie ring on while she got me hard. That thing is like a very strong cock ring with spikes..Very uncomfortable, very engorged, and as she got the right amount tonight, I felt very very little on my head.

She rode me for about 20 mins, with me rather in pain the entire time. I don't know what was worse, the feeling of the major erection that wouldn't go away, or the pain of the spikes. There was no stimulation for me, apart from watching her bounce around on top of me; which I must say is a joy to see.

About 10 mins in, i told her I was hurting with the spikes but she was in her own world and just started grinding ring into me and getting more excited. I pretty much just thrust my hips up in resignation to the pain, and waited until she had her orgasm.

while she cleaned up I calmed down, (what a relief) and she put the device on me again. She thanked me, and told me to expect the same tomorrow.

BTW: She's taken a very keen interest in womans month and has decided that I should as well. Yesterday (evidently Womans Day??) she explained to me during my meditation that I'm going to be learning all about how to respect woman, and how to avoid disrespect them. Today was more of the same, with quite a tirade on how I have ogled women in the past, and treat them as sex objects, and how I should want that to change. I've been thinking back and I can't remember anytime lately that I've acted like that, especially if I'm around her. I think the accusations are unfounded.

Anyway, the base of my penis hurts.. ;-( Its raw...

M

 

Thanks Allfulup. We both have happily found that spot that works. I'm very excited about it as although I'm not able to cum, I'm still able to have sex with my princess. It is a very different thing from being teased vs. actually have sex. The hardest part is when she says enough, its very frustrating.

Meanwhile, she really has begun to get in my head as it relates to women, and how I view them. I'm not really concerned, as I don't think the direction its going is bad, per say, but its still a little strange that its happened. Over the past few days, especially from the weekend on, she has made meditations for me about how I should act and think around women. It is very cut and dry; She says I should 1) Recall the instructions 2) feel the chastity device 3) imagine that the woman had the key 4) and provide the woman the same respect that I would provide her, my princess.

In person, she really doesn't discuss this; only short reminders whenever I leave for the day, or we go out together, like "remember your instructions ". And its taking its hold.

Even at work, when I deal with women associates, I'm finding myself going into fantisies about them holding my key. The thing that kicks it off is that as soon as I see an attractive woman, my attention goes straight to my device then to my predicament at home. Same when I go shopping in the grocery store, dealing with a simple cashier like today; As I'm sitting in line, I remember the instructions, then focus on the device. That was enough to bring me into a state of excitement, and boom, an erection (well..a painful push against the device!). I actually had trouble looking this sexy 20yo in the eye, let alone check her out. She really has gotten into my head and instead of turning women into 'respectful beings', she has me constantly state of excitement around women thinking about her. and it seems to be working.

Again, its not a bad thing; as I am getting excited about it, but amazed at how she has set it up so looking at other women now trigger me thinking of her while at the same time, changing the way I act around attractive women. Go figure

M

 

Gezz..Strict Sir; I read your comment this afternoon, and have been thinking about "conditioning" all day since then. And not just about the idea of looking at other women/getting excited, but also where we are at in our relationship, with her actions, and how I feel about them. It really seems like a long time that I've been serving her; and I tried to go back in my mind about how I felt at the beginning vs. how I'm feeling now, and how much she has to do with that. And I'm suprised, actually. Amazed, really.

At the end of the summer, I remember how I felt about her abusing and ignoring me; so much in fact that I was so damn pissed, that I almost ended the slave relationship. And now, as I think about the past month or two, the same behavior is there from her, but I am accepting of it, infact, I don't think anything of it, as if its a normal part of my day!. Any forth or fifth day is an example of this; where she doesn't like something I've done, and slaps or canes me, then has me between her legs, then has me in the basement for until she's ready to go to bed. My thoughts are not angry, but about pleasing her, seeking her forgiveness for whatever it was, and really excitement over the reward when I am forgiven. The idea of getting angry over this like I did months ago seems absurd; as its how our relationship is defined now.

And today as I thought about it, I can clearly see the things she did to bring me here! Like having me sit still in the living room and rewarding me each time she came into the room. That part is clear as day; but now when I sit in the basement for two hours, all I get is a little tug and promise of a future reward. Same with caning; months ago, I'd get a long explanation of what I did wrong, how many strikes I can expect, etc; and then I was forgiven and rewarded. Thinking back, she's significantly shortened her explanation and curtailed her rewards of forgiveness as the days have gone by, to where today I just assume the position when told, take as many for as hard as she wants to give me without argument or even bad feelings and just seek her word that I'm forgiven.

Does knowing any of this change anything on how I feel? Evidently not, as I'm not angry, hurt nor am I feeling unwanted or abused. Its just normal. but at the same time, a little scary? I really don't want to think about it as it is a little bit scary how I am so accepting of this now; and I really do love her more than I think I've ever loved her. I don't know..I'm tired..long day.

M