Wanting to Find My Dominance from Within

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by MistressFae, Mar 6, 2012.

  1. MistressFae
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    MistressFae Member

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    Hello,

    Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Lillian Fae (at least that's what my man calls me). I have decided with my husband to embark on this journey of male chastity to change the balance of power in our relationship. I grew up in a sheltered home, and always seem to be drawn or controlled by dominant people, however, I truly feel deep within I am a dominant person as well but have never had the means to really explore or let myself feel it. So my husband and I agreed that this journey could help me do that, and he feels that he wants to find something within himself he has never found, what its like to be me in our relationship.

    We just got our first chastity device this evening and he is wearing for the first night. We want to make sure it fits well and he already doesn't know what to think or how to feel about it. I'm hoping he doesn't back out, because well we haven't gotten all of the tools for me to empower myself (arm/ankle cuffs, harness, feet and hands bar, whip, etc).

    Any advice for a first timer at this at would be greatly appreciated.

    Now I am going to go figure out a contract and what exact rules I want my man to abide by.

    - Fae
     
  2. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    Ah Mistress Fae, you have all the tools you will ever need to control your male. It's right inside your panties. All you need to say is that he won't be getting any till??? and you fill in the word. So if he acts like he's not that interested in Chastity, you tell him you are, and soon as he's been locked up every night for a week you will give him the ride of a lifetime once that has been done. Soon he will be agreeing to anything just of the chance of a Orgasm once again.

    Welcome and take it easy on him at first, he is weak since he's a male. But once you've turned the corner and have him right where you want him, you will be a very happy Mistress. Nothing like a mate will to do almost anything to please you.

    Sincerely, Missy Tanya
     
  3. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    My advice is to take it slowly. I a "Journey", which is what you are calling this, is exactly what you're starting. A journey usually involves false starts, dead ends, stumbles, back-tracking, and frustration. However, you often discover new and interesting things along the way.

    Experiment. Find out what works, and what doesn't. Expect emotions to run high. Chastity play can evoke a lot more emotional "swing" in a man than is their norm, when they are wanking off to take the edge off. Also, expect to have a LOT of problems with your chastity device. Few people get the right fit and right device in the first weeks or months. You may invest in 3-4 devices before you find the one that works.

    You mention buying BDSM gear. Is pain a pleasure for your husband? Is he a masochist? My wife would be more successful in adjusting my behavior by promising TO whip me, not the other way around. Understand how your toys work with your man. Some he'll love. Others he'll hate.

    Enjoy the journey!
    mikecb
     
  4. MistressFae
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    MistressFae Member

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    Well we have discovered a few things over the past few weeks. One he's a master manipulator (long story), lol, i failed being able to provide the right amountof teasing initialluy, but we both realize need this and he can't be on the honor system. So we are back to "day 1" in the chastity device.

    I am unsure if my husband likes pain or not. We are going to try out everything (minus anything permanently damaging), that's what agreed up onto see what works as fun, and what works as punishment.

    We are pursuing a complete FLR with this.

    I need to do more research on chastity devices because he has been complaining and complained last time that the ring is too small but when we go to the next size up he can pull his cock out,which is no good.


    Anyhow, looking forward to the future.
     
  5. Vithryld
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    Vithryld Slave

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    Welcome, Mistress Fae! Good luck in your endeavors! I am certain with patience, practice, and perseverance you will get to a point where you are both happy!
     
  6. AliceInBondageLand
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    Have fun with it and let it inspire you! Find the parts of it that YOU consider fun and let that drive how you play... don't let your hubby script things unless you enjoy that kind of dynamic. :)

    Take control. Enjoy it. Explore. Don't get caught up on doing it "right" but find the stuff that works for you. That's the key to enjoying it long term.
     
  7. dorcsssc
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    dorcsssc Member

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    You do not need for him to enjoy pain. All you need is for him to enjoy sex.
    Which is about to happily ever after be only on your terms. :smilies_xxx09:
     
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