Male lesbian vs. Sissy

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by kaligod, Feb 19, 2012.

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  1. kaligod
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    kaligod Miss Ever
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    My husband showed me a link over a year ago that I cannot find now. It was a page long description of what the writer termed " the male lesbian". I am curious if there are any males here who identify that way and what, if any, differences you perceive there to be between male lesbians and sissies. There seem to be definite differences but a bit of overlap. For instance, my husband is not into "forced feminization", however, he does like to wear panties and wants to clean the house in a school girl skirt.

    I would be grateful for any experience or insight on the subject you wish to share.
     
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  2. locked4her
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    locked4her Member

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    I remember the link you are on about and also showed it to my wife/keyholder. I expect you will get quite a few responses on this but this is my take on it.

    A "Male Lesbian", which is the relationship I have with my wife/keyholder, is someone who has chosen to be a giver of pleasure, either orally or penetration, this however is restricted to the penetration being a toy (dildo/vibrator) and not with a penis. In essence they act the physical part of a female lesbian but not the full physcological extent of it, they do not wear female clothing of any sort but any love making is the same as it would be if they were a female lesbian.

    A "Sissy", is someone who dresses up in female clothing, this is not cross dressing but wearing of what would be termed as extremely femininly type clothing (petticoats etc) , and I am hoping that the sissy's here will be better able to explain that side of it.
     
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  3. kaligod
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    kaligod Miss Ever
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    Thank you so much for your response.

    I have been in the BDSM world for a bit but am new to topping my husband. From my own experience I know that 95% of the experience is psychological. I want to understand as fully as possible so I can put him and keep him in the proper headspace. I would hate for things to be going along swimmingly and inadvertently do something that would sour the experience for him.
     
  4. enigmaPOJ
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    enigmaPOJ Member

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    I'm also a "male lesbian" and I have to agree mostly with Locked4her. However, for me it is a little different. I am 2 spirited and some intersexed characteristics but I do appear mostly male (although I do have feminine hips). I don't consider myself a sissy neither does my wife. My sexual energy is mostly feminine and a lesbian friend described me as a lesbian trapped in a male body. I don't cross dress that much, but when I do, it's usually fetish items. (Corset, sports bra, one piece swimsuit, etc). I'm more like a butch lesbian submissive. (In the lesbian community I would be considered a "boi".) Both of my chastity belts are the TG versions as we both like my maleness locked away and hidden. My look when we play is more of androgyny than fem. Although I do usually keep my toenails painted (usually darker colors), but I keep short hair and mostly male clothes.
     
  5. locked4her
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    locked4her Member

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    Though I am in chastity 24/7 the headspace part is not, that is kept for when we are alone (which with 2 young kids is hard). For me though, the chastity helps to enforce the male lesbian theme, I am able to pleasure the wife how she wants and because after all the years of using a chastity device you almost forget the cock is there and become more intent on pleasuring the partner then sticking your dick in her.

    The wfe and I talk a lot about what we want and that is probably the best thing that I suggest you both do, work out what you both want from this type of relationship, scope out the boundaries, set the limits and have fun, if it is not working re-assess, the 1st plan never succeeds but with modifcations it works.
     
  6. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    I would like to know what male came up with the term male lesbian. There is no such thing, that would be like saying there are gay female boys. There are no gay female boys and there are no male lesbians. A lesbian is a female that is attracted to females, period.

    If youre a male that likes to dress up occasionally and have sex with your wife using a dildo or whatever then youre a male with a fetish, not a lesbian.

    Seems very funny to Me how all these new terms arise out of someones vivid imagination. Not that it matters, you can call yourself whatever you want, I just find it funny that anyone would pick a term used to describe the total opposite of what you are.

    Mistress Michelle
     
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  7. kaligod
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    kaligod Miss Ever
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    MagicalMistress - you bring up another and perhaps even more interesting topic. That of Labels. And I must disagree. I think that it matters very much how one chooses to identify oneself.

    People are fond of saying how they "aren't into labels" nowadays or they don't like "being labeled" but labels can be helpful when we are identifying or communicating aspects of ourselves - desires, ideas, personalities - to others. I believe my pet is trying to convey something very specific about his psychological space - what he would like to provide for me, and what he desires from me -when he uses the term "male lesbian". I choose to respect that and am attempting to understand it in an effort to maximize both of our enjoyment/pleasure.
     
  8. enigmaPOJ
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    enigmaPOJ Member

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    Mistress Michelle, the very first time I heard of a "male lesbian" it was from a woman, not a man. Here is a link about it:

    http://www.chastitytube.com/malelesbian.html

    I don't agree with it 100% but it's petty close. Another reference is:

    http://www.angelfire.com/ab6/polepino/Chapter05/Malelesbian.html

    When we have sex, it's not always about the penis. (There are times when it is, but most of the time it's not for us.) So yes, when we we have sex (many times while I'm belted) we make love as 2 women would. Even belted, I get a lot of pleasure out of this. (Of course my wife does too.)
     
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  9. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    I've been tinkering with the term "chayste".*

    Some men - like me - once locked into a chastity belt, aren't particularly interested in "escaping". We like the tight sensation of pent up lust and the sensuality, and in not having genitals.

    You can call it a fetish, but it feels like a sexuallity.

    *I prefer not to use the term "male lesbian" because lesbians do have genitals and can enjoy orgasms as normal.
     
  10. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    Here's my take. I'm a Crossdresser, Fetish Lover, Sissy Liker, & and all around willing to try anything once. The good stuff more. When I'm in Chastity, my mind set changes to non-male. I seem to have more feminine feelings and wants. I take it as I don't have use or needs of a penis anymore. I've given it much thought, just haven't put it into words yet. Another of my many wants.

    But for me, the more I'm locked, the longer I'm locked the more the feminine part comes out. I feel funny wearing men's panties while in Chastity. I have to wear men outer clothing most of the time. The male part of me need to keep the "Normal" household in a income and living expensive. But under-dressing is sometime I love. But back to the subject. As far as calling myself a male lesbian, no. I do refer Tanya, my C/Din counter part as a Lesbian, cause she likes girls. But she isn't a male, as she has no means of use of her male parts. I wear the belt almost every time I'm out dressed. Something that I prefer to do. It gets me into the mood. I've often thought, what if?? What if I had the opportunity to do something different. 1st off, I'm married and the wife would have to be present and obliging. 2nd, I know she wouldn't permit the belt to come off. 3rd, I would have to finger out something else to give and receive pleasure. So what's left. Fingers, mouth, tongue, and anal. Sounds more Feminine than Male to me.

    So for me, I'm not a male lesbian, but a lesbian with different plumbing. But willing to work with what I've got. I'm not one for labeling names to much. I have found that not to work most times for me. Cause what would you call me, Man, Gurl, Crossdresser, gay, or lesbian. As I've said before, Don't judge anyone till you've walked in their shoes, But be warned, mine might be heels.

    Sorry if I didn't answer what you were looking for, just my early morning thoughts, Missy Tanya
     
  11. icarus_101
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    icarus_101 Babygirl

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    I so totally agree with this sentiment.

    There are a couple of labels/phrases that drive me crazy (but I just have to bite my tongue).

    Male Lesbian is one... it's a contradiction in linguistics and logic.
    Sissy Clit is another... it's a dick for crying out loud.

    Although I can understand it; sticking a label to something which we feel embarrassed about seems to make it better, legitimate even.

    I readily admit that I am a guy who just happens to feel happiest when wearing clothes generally associated with women... nothing wrong with that. I don't need a label to justify my hobbies to myself or others.

    I am what I am :manga_bunny:
     
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  12. rebecca.Doll13
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    rebecca.Doll13 rebecca Doll

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    I believe this is the article you were speaking of Ms. Kali. :)
     
  13. Lady Germaine
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    Lady Germaine Active member

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  14. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    well i likes my clittie, and i also like dressing in pretty clothes and panties. In fact i like everything to do with being a girly, and i loves serving My Mistress and keeping the house nice and clean, doing all the laundry and cooking nice meals for Mistress.
    im not allowed to use my clittie for anything, but i do use my mouth and tongue to pleasure Mistress. im a sissymaid and i love it.
    oooh, and i dont know what a male lesbian is.
     
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  15. sissymaid_emily
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    sissymaid_emily sissy maid emily or just sissy, or maid

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    I like my clittie as well jemima & i like it a lot better now its locked up.
    emily
     
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  16. KristysBitchBoy
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    My Mistress calls it a clittie as well jem, I think she calls it that because it's as useless as a "clit" when it comes to giving her any real pleasure. I think I am better at pleasing her in other ways anyway. I'm so glad for you that you love being a good sissy maid for your Mistress. I also love doing all the house work and cooking, I hope that I can make her happy by serving her in a more feminine role. I guess that might be the difference between a sissy maid and a male lesbian, the male lesbian only assumes the feminine role in the bedroom.
     
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  17. splint_n_strap
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    splint_n_strap Active member

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    I will add my 2 cents..which these days is equal to a dribble of fuel that will get you no where :)...terms like this drive me nuts personally because I tend to be a realist in the scope of my thinking..a man states he wants screwed in his man pussy...WHAT? A male lesbian? A male clit? Personally I have to take what life has given me..I have a penis..a penis that has a direct connection to my brain...to much of a connection..so I need it caged. It is what it is..things generally are what they are..that said "Terms of Endearment" between consenting parties are wonderful...if in your relationship you are a male and want to be referred to as a lesbian go for it, if it gives you pleasure to call your dick a clit..wonderful...if you think the hole in your butt is a pussy..well egads thats one pussy I dont want to sniff LOL. My point is have fun with whatever you do, but for crying out loud why do we think we have to make a scientific discovery for every term we come up with. That's where I agree with Mistress Michelle. A lot of our lifestyle is fantasy lived out in reality. In reality a male lesbian does not exist, if in your fantasy you are one congratulations..be the best male lesbian, pussy licking, dildo wearing person you can be. My fear however is that by trying to legitimize terms..we lose battle for credibility on other fronts. Unless you are transgender MtoF, who identifies as a lesbian..then there are no male lesbians.
     
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  18. splint_n_strap
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    splint_n_strap Active member

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    I will add my 2 cents..which these days is equal to a dribble of fuel that will get you no where :)...terms like this drive me nuts personally because I tend to be a realist in the scope of my thinking..a man states he wants screwed in his man pussy...WHAT? A male lesbian? A male clit? Personally I have to take what life has given me..I have a penis..a penis that has a direct connection to my brain...to much of a connection..so I need it caged. It is what it is..things generally are what they are..that said "Terms of Endearment" between consenting parties are wonderful...if in your relationship you are a male and want to be referred to as a lesbian go for it, if it gives you pleasure to call your dick a clit..wonderful...if you think the hole in your butt is a pussy..well egads thats one pussy I dont want to sniff LOL. My point is have fun with whatever you do, but for crying out loud why do we think we have to make a scientific discovery for every term we come up with. That's where I agree with Mistress Michelle. A lot of our lifestyle is fantasy lived out in reality. In reality a male lesbian does not exist, if in your fantasy you are one congratulations..be the best male lesbian, pussy licking, dildo wearing person you can be. My fear however is that by trying to legitimize terms..we lose battle for credibility on other fronts. Unless you are transgender MtoF, who identifies as a lesbian..then there are no male lesbians.
     
  19. sissymaid_emily
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    sissymaid_emily sissy maid emily or just sissy, or maid

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    Why though does it drive you nuts ?. What difference to your happiness does it make to you how people self define themselves?. All these social conventions including vanilla masculinity and femininity are social constructs anyway. Terms like male lesbian or sissy are just a convenient shorthand for complex emotional needs.
    emily
     
  20. KristysBitchBoy
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    I couldn't have said it better sister
     
  21. sissymaid_emily
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    sissymaid_emily sissy maid emily or just sissy, or maid

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    Thank you big sis :)
    emily
     
  22. splint_n_strap
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    splint_n_strap Active member

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    I'm not trying to change the world on a forum where we are free to express our lives and opinions. Perhaps drive me nuts is a bad choice of words. In social circles (as I stated) I could care less what terms are used. In certain places within the African American the 'N' word is used freely, in certain places Gay's use the 'Q' word...both words I refuse to use simply because of their offensive nature. My only concern in trying to justify a label like male lesbian in the usage that the OP used is the potential harm that may arise. I say this mainly for transgender MtoF who identify as lesbians. Their world is hard enough without creating another label. I know my thinking may be far to serious for a forum of this nature, and like I said have fun..call yourself whatever term you like as it does not affect my peace in life, but in trying to express my opinion on a forum it does drive me nuts :).
     
  23. chastt
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    chastt Member

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    I think the term male lesbian is odd. ​
    I prefer to give pleasure rather then receive it but I would just call me a submissive male. ​
     
  24. johnr104@hotmail.com
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    All I know is what I feel. When dressed in feminine outfits, I often think of myself with breasts, a more shapely figure, longer flowing hair, nicely done makeup, and no penis (it's locked up of course). At this time all I want to do is be with my wife and have her dominate me for her pleasure (which in turn, is my pleasure). I have no desire or fantasy to be with a man. So..... if I actually WAS female, I'd be a lesbian, but I'm a male, hence "male lesbian". Not everybody might like the term, but it just sort of accurately fits what I'm feeling.
     
  25. as YOU please
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    as YOU please Member

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    I don't identify with male lesbian or sissy. I just think of myself as entirely submissive with the female form. If She wants me to be anything that's just what i need to become. Chastity seems essential since complete control of the male would have to start with the penis. If she said sissy i'd just say "Yes, Ma'am."
     
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  26. paulasissygurl
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    paulasissygurl Long term member

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    Emily, I love my clittie also even locked up :rolleyes:

    sissy paula
     
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