Mistress Michelle from beginning to end

And that is what makes the risk so addictive and so worthwhile. THAT is the way to live life, but you have to be strong... and you have been, and you will be again.

We can all live the safe life, but who the hell wants to.

A quote I know we've all seen in various forms (rachael has a rephrased version on her signature) but it's so darn true.

To be honest... he appeared to know quite a lot about living...

We are not the kind of people who can sit by and let life happen. It's risky, but that's why we do it.

This too shall pass and you will all live to tell the tale. I promise x x x

 

Wow Ms Emma how true and while your driving just don't do a driveby but leave a piece of yourself,a skidmark or something just so they knew you were there and leave the dent in the fender for a reminder,better call macco ,everything is repairable :chores001:

 

Dear Mistress Michelle,

inspired by Your last posting, i would like to add some thoughts that might be interesting for You.

Life is full of beginnings and endings, and the time in between. So why starting things at all if we all know that they might come to an end some day? i do not think we as humans start anything because of the fear of or even thoughts about the possible ending, or the risk that it might end with hurt. Beginning and ending are just points of time - the time in between is a span of time. And we all start things because we anticipate the fun and benefit during this span of time (that we all hope will not end at all if enjoyable), the return of invest so to say, while things are working out. Yes, this also means efforts during that time - but also rewards, although nothing is guaranteed. If someone just thinks of work and fears the hurt it may cause if it ends, he or she will never ever start anything - but thereby missing any reward or any good time in between or even without ending (besides our biological life). And in a situation when something ends against one's will, one is sometimes not capable to remember the good times without hardship or frustration.

Why am i writing all this? As it is my personal experience also to be just so filled with fear of something going wrong, thinking of the ending even before a beginning, that i was fully blocked to start anything near a relationship, and still am to some extend. And my personal experience is that while being controlled by such fear, life passes on and goes to waste - as there is nothing exciting happening any more, if no-one has the courage to start it. Yes, there might be further mistakes ahead, and i also faced them and learned from them. But do not plan on mistakes, but on success! At least this is what i can recommend, as anything else just blocks You totally.

my humble hint is: Let Your sorrow and fear not control Your actions in the future, thereby disabling You to start something else again that You might even more than enjoy. There were most probably very happy moments and good times in Your now ended relation. But what lies ahead of You, You cannot know. Be curious and full of courage! If You will start something else, good times will for sure wait for You. New experiences, different moments, but all with the possibility that You will enjoy them. Not identical of course, maybe similar, but however worth every try. "You've come so far, don't throw it away!" is a line from a song from the movie "The land before time" that literally saved my life some decades ago when i was very broken-hearted (Diana Ross: "If we hold on together" - really worth listening to, just search on youtube). And believe me, as there is another line in this song: "Wonders are waiting to start".

"Things will never be the same" is the title of a song from Roxette i really love. As there is a lot of truth in it. And it came to my mind as i read about Your experience. But while this particular song is much from the perspective of things ending, it can also be understood as general wisdom. Of course there is no joy in things ending that one does not want to come to an end (Btw, there is another Roxette song about this: So far away - i really like this one, too, and it nearly describes such situation that You face currently). But what is coming in the future, no-one can know. Future relations will be different, but might be at least equally good and fulfilling (without thereby destroying the magic of any past relation, but offering the magic of the present situation). And how boring a life would be if things would always be the same, by the way. Humans need development - and a new beginning will force them to develop and grow. The moment they stop developing is the end of life as such in my humble opinion.

There are always things beyond our own control, that we cannot change, even if we would really like to. But we have the choice how to handle them. And the way we handle them shows our character and inner strength. And You have a great and strong personality, from what i read of You. So i do not have the slightest doubt that You are capable to handle even such situation with grace, learn from it and grow even stronger. Not because of anger, but just because You continue to live Your life. So please do not waste Your enormous energy by blocking future chances for Yourself. Use it for taking such chances and move on!

Of course, there are also memories and emotions involved that are now simply part of You, and You cannot deny them. And these memories are precious and important. So they have to be embraced and cherrished. But You are so much more than just Your memories, or thoughts of "What if", resulting from living only from memories. You are a living person, and time goes on. Every second of Your life is of importance - as You are not able to repeat them. Once a second of Your life passed, it's gone forever. So also cherrish Your presence and Your future. Live Your life according to Your great personality. You learned such a lot in the past, and beware: There is so much more ahead of You. So again, do not be frightend, but curious. i do not have the slightest doubt that You will make it, and have great times again. But only if You will start again, taking courage, prepared to again invest all You are, as nothing just comes for granted (at least not normally, there might be single exceptions - that i hoped for myself, but only to be disappointed, as nothing such happened to me). Of course, again with all risk - but without taking it, there will be no gain at all, but only bitterness and frustration. And the latter is the least i wished for You.

i really hope these thoughts are of help for You.

Chaste regards,
Keuschling

 

From Mistress Michelle's post

And You think i don't do the same. i miss you horribly. i know You will say and yet you are the one that left. Yes i left because i decided that seeing my granddaughter grow up and relationship with my daughter and a 30 year relationship with my wife was not worth throwing away for my selfish pleasures and at least 20 other reasons none of them having to do with the way MM & Rick treated me. i just couldn't bring myself to be that selfish. When i left here i wrote my wife a dear jane letter the last line of which went something like this. I am sorry to have fucked up your life enjoy the rest of it. i came there to stay and i tried i really did. What i didn't expect was your hatred of me for leaving because i still love you.

Know one else ever will. You are the only one i trust enough to bare my soul and body parts too.

From Mistress Watchful's post

Aint worth tellin' without Mistress Michelle

No one will ever hear me even whisper a bad word about Her. She is still a Magical Mistress to me and i still love Her and all She has done for me but i will never be in Her presence again and that is the last thing i ever wanted. All i wanted to do was make Her happy. i sure as hell didn't want this. i took a shot at having it all it didn't work out and now i will never see Her again.

Life sucks then you die.
rachel

 

Hi rachel,

no-one died here, fortunately. So i do not really get your line: "Life sucks then you die". Life just continues now, maybe on different roads, but still it continues, for both of you, with yet unknown wonders ahead.

As i (and some others) wrote already, your decision is fully understood and respected. At least from the ones who wrote it. And it is accomplished that it was a hard one, in consequence for both of you. So there is no need to explain the same reasons for your decision over and over again. And i do not think this could be helpful in any way, especially for Mistress Michelle - although She of course knows better than me what is helpful for Her. You took a clear and meaningful decision that you stay for consequently, and it has never been questioned nor condemned - as no-one is in the position to do so. Quite to the contrary: i adore your consequence, and fully respect your decision. As it was surely not easy for you, too, to take such complex and ultimatively hard decision. As such decision never comes easy - but better be followed consequently, unless it is discovered that it was a mistake. What i really doubt from what was said, for your position at least, but also for Mistress Michelle, who is now liberated to start again and hopefully will do so in the near future, to again find the fulfillness She deserves.

Make it easier for Mistress Michelle and for yourself: Do not explain over and over again. Stay to your decision, and live with it. Even as you know that it caused hurt - but you valued the given reasons higher than the hurt it may have and indeed has caused, which i even so can understand, even if i am very sorry for Mistress Michelle. As i belive that you took this very hard decision without the intent to hurt Mistress Michelle, and that honors you. As i understand it, you just intended to sort your life right and continue to live it with the topics that were of biggest importance for you and your relatives, and not having to look back some day with deepest regret because of probable selfishness. Of course, such decision always comes with a prize, but you took it consciously. And i do not mean the prize of hurting Mistress Michelle, but your own substantial loss by leaving Her. Again, in my humble opinion you did not intent to hurt Her, but you from my understanding could not just live on far from your family, which everybody should understand and respect. And thus would have played a game with Her if you would have stayed, a big charade. So you have been fully authentic, and this is really adorable, as some other guys would have been too weak to take such serious but honest step. The only thing i could maybe blame you on is that you should have known better before. But this is very easy speech afterwards. Most probably you have not known better before. Humans develop, they make experiences and mistakes, and with time get better insight to what really is of highest importance to them. You learned, and that you did not the easiest way, especially at the end. And in this process it can happen that someone is hurting another one, to their deepest regret, expecially in retrospect. i myself can not think of any way to really ensure to avoid such, besides not to do anything (which i did too long by now - and still continue to some extend, as i really fear to hurt anyone, especially in their soul and feelings). But by not doing anything, there will be no experience, for all involved, and no good time to remember, even if it comes with hurt when it eventually ends.

But you know what? People can get over things. They even can grow stronger by it. i myself have been intensively hurt - but i did not die by that. It of course was a hard time for me, but i survived, and at the end i am proud of that fact. Nevertheless i still fear to hurt anyone else though. i think this is my personality, to accept more to be hurt instead of facing the danger of hurting someone else, as i probably think i can handle it better than any other one. This is of course arrogant and a mistake, and in the meantime i am very aware of that - although i could not change myself sustainably yet.

You had an outstanding experience during the time with Mistress Michelle, and so had She. Cherrish it, remember it in a good way, and do not fight it. And now that the decision is made to end this time, also go on with your live, according to your decision, do not explain yourself over and over again, but make the best of it. i wish you all luck of the world - as i wish the same for Mistress Michelle. Walk new paths, and enjoy every second of it, both of you. And of course, report how it is going.

Live long and prosper!

Chaste regards,
Keuschling

 

My dear friend,

Let me first offer you a very kind hug. I keep writing and then erasing every typed sentence, because it's actually difficult through the tears. I'm heartbroken for you. I feel your pain through your words.

There has been at least 10 times that I've read something and went back to read it again. So many of your words have rang so true in me ears, I want to scream them out so everyone can hear!!!

This is one: "I take, or should I say 'took' alot of pride in the amount of work I put into all My relationships, and yes, thats what they were, relationships, I couldnt just 'play' with someone for the sake of playing, I needed the connection, the touch, the look in thier eyes, I had to have the true devotion."

And this: "I couldnt just meet someone and 'ride the ride' I had to get involved, I had to care. I had to have a fucking connection with someone before I could get involved with them. That was My downfall I guess, if I coulda just fucking kept everything seperate, not got involved, there are Mistresses out there that do it every day, but No, not Me, I had to get My heart involved in it and look where thats gotten me."

Perhaps when someone figures out how to do this without getting involved, they will explain it to me, too. I have been accused on more than one occasion of caring too much for my pet(s). Um... sorry, but that's how I roll. All the chores, service, playtime, devotion, massages, cups of coffee fetched, or "yes, Mistress'" don't mean jack without a true connection. I've tried having subs in my life that I don't feel for, and it's like eating tofu for the rest of your life. Sure it keeps you alive, but it never quenches the thirst you yearn for.

Is there risk involved having such a caring heart? Abso-fucking-lutely. But what is the alternative? Life without the awe and beauty of love is worthless. You're hurting, because you loved and had it returned. You will trust and love again. I promise.

I'm so sorry for your pain. I hate to say I know how you feel, but truly, I do. I know how you feel when every corner you turn brings back a memory and then heartache. When the tears come, let them fall. It's all part of healing.

Lean on your friends and family for support. Take care of yourself. XoXo

ps... Read Lin's words again. Very wise and true.

 

As I posted earlier, I'm little pet's wife. We are now separated, but I called him tonight to let him know of your situation, so I hope he has contacted you. I feel very bad for you and am glad your marriage is surviving. Mine did not, but I only want the best for him because he is a good person and I believe you and your husband are too. I couldn't adopt this lifestyle, but I understand and I wish you the best. Take care.

 

My dear Mistress Michelle,just a lil shout here and have been thinking about you alot lately and speaking with you i know things aren't taking great leaps and bounds in the recovery of how your feeling and all i can offer are words of encouragement so heres a few more.Titled the rise and fall of a magical Mistress and all of us have seen you rise through the years,grow and become a fabulous Mistress and just a wonderful woman,wife,friend and all around great person in every aspect and in an earlier post you said many have stood beside me so getting to the FALL i feel one cannot when so many around to catch you so maybe just a stumble as i have many times,you and rick and many here prevented me from it.I hope everyday gets you abit closer to what i know exists in you....Love you very much and a giant curtsey to you Mistress :anim_37: Sorry i left something out you said to me yesterday that you wished you could be as some others,and hate to disagree with you but if we are not ourselves who in the hell are we,fakes,wannabe's liars and you being whom you are is what attracts me like a moth to a flame ,please never change it's what defines YOU

 

Excuse me this writing. i know i have to "shut up",
but i"am glad to heer your voice, here my Wife and i questioned us about you this days.
Never forget those who are suffering in the shadow.
Admiring your patience and indulgence to support the situation. Take care of MM.
Perhaps "love" is only a pressure of a chemical processus in brain, for natural biologique surviving, what rejected role-playing, and occurs only suffering ?

 

Thinking about everyone. MM and pet even though I've been so busy I think of you too often. Miss you both. Pet, know I pray that you'll fully recover. So don't give up hope, miracles do happen. MM as I said in my private message to you, if you need anything I'm only a little over an hour away and you know the number.

 

Great couple of posts, MM. Of course you will survive, and you ARE getting stronger, I think. Hang in there!

 

All i can say is i am so sorry to cause You this and cry ALOT. i love YOU though i no longer no how to address You. You will ALWAYS be a Magical Mistress to me. i enjoyed every minute there and now can only wish to be Your sissy again.


Among the things You taught me. i can do anything with the confidance You instill in me. A sissy can go out in male mode even though they are in girls clothes. You can make me speak in tongues. What it is like to be valued, loved and cherished. How to do things for someone and really enjoy it even if at the moment you don't. Take care to shave better. Always check your make up before you get out of the car. How to go from rachel to randy in the car in 10 minutes or less. How to spend almost every minute of every day with someone even though you are miles apart. How not to swear because sissies don't do that. How not to drink so much but rather just enjoy a glass of wine at the end of the day. How to take care of birds and appreciate their visits. How to sit on a porch and just be. How to make really weak coffee ( doesn't mean i will). How to look into someones eyes and know that you are loved while not saying a word. How to have 100$ and not spend it all for a month. How to take a whippin just because the person doing the whipping enjoys it. That i love ball torture, though i will NEVER have that again w/o You. you need to REALLY trust someone to let them do that and You are the only one i trust that much.

i only wish we could go back to how it was before i came to then left VA. To the days when You loved Your sissy. i am sorry i failed You.

i love You
Your used to be angel, sweetpea and rachel