Okay so I brought the subject of chastity up to my wife and she hesitantly agreed. I gave her a copy of sara jamesons book and she has read or is reading it. Anyways she has agreed and we began our journey starting with 14 days of chaste. The one thing she could not deny herself was my dick and was very adamant about it. On the 4th day of chaste we made love and I brought myself to the edge many times but did not cum. On the 6th day she teased him for just a short while and it was so frustrating! Last night we had sex again, however, this time I was unable to control myself. I pulled out and quickly chocked my cock but I still came...more like dribbled....ruined orgasm? After that happened she said I will now have to wait thirty days until I am allowed a release. I am okay with that but have a couple questions. 1. If I make love to my wife am I still being chaste as long as I don't cum? 2. I believe I had a ruined orgasm because I'm still so horny and if I did is that considered a release? Sorry but we are really new to this and she has obviously been doing some research because she brought up to me that chastity involves denying intercourse when I thought it just denied orgasm. Anyways I'm looking forward to your replies and will update on future events. Day 1 of 30 or maybe its day 8 of 38?
My view.... So its OK to fuck but not to cum unless you have her permission, so even if you pulled out and 'ruined yourself' it was not her desire or wish that you cum, ruined or otherwise. Celtic Queen (CQ) and I work on the basis that a cycle ends when I am given a full orgasmic release with all the normal pleasure. She may well milk me or give me a ruined orgasm at anytime in the cycle and that is up to her. Feeling hornu after a ruined orgasm? Yep that sounds about right. I am not sure exactly wht is going on, but the chemica;/biological rush of a full orgasm seems to dampen down the horniness feelings for a bit, then you go back up to being horny, the longer you are denied the hornier you get... If you have a ruined O and depending on how she ruins it, it seems that the rush part doesn't happen and you therefore don't get the release, you are left frustrated and wanting her more! Its awesome and good luck with it all
also meant to say as for the book by Sarah Jameson... read widely would be my advice... You can't get too much input in the way of different views and there is lots of advice here and generally on the web. The blogs on here and the rest of the web are pretty good too. Just search away...
The important thing to keep in mind is that you and your wife are free to make your own rules. So if the two of you decide to have intercourse without you coming, it's entirely up to you. Same thing with deciding what is or is not a 'release'. Sarah's book is quite clear on that concept; there's no 'master list of rules' that you have to adhere to. It's whatever you as a couple want things to be. Don't let anyone tell you you're doing it 'wrong'.
Thanks for your responses, however, I am still unsure of two things: did I have a ruined orgasm and do I start over on my count or just continue from the previous one. My wife did not allow me to come nor did she allow for a ruined orgasm...it was an accident and I ruined it myself trying to stop it...thanks
What do you think? Generally speaking a ruined orgasm is one in which you ejaculate, but do not have an orgasm. The release itself can still be pleasurable, but not the mindblower than a full orgasm can cause. For most men this happens if the penis is not touched while releasing. You still feel aroused afterwards and many even still have an erection. As to whether you start your count over again, it may depend on if you're counting by releases or by orgasms. Most men don't separate the two, but in chastity, you start to see the difference. You're free to start over again or not; whichever way you and your keyholder decide.
Ok so then I definitely had a ruined orgasm because I was still aroused following. As far as the count goes I have gone 9 days without an orgasm then and 2 days without release. I get it now and yes think you have to seperate them.
In my opinion, you should start the count over. If it was an accident, then obviously it wasn't something you intended or your wife had allowed, or was part of the deal. You failed, so the count should start over. Any release, whether authorized or not, whether orgasmic or not, is just that... a release of sperm. You are not chaste if you are releasing sperm. I know some KH's like to give ruined orgasms in between actual full, orgasmic releases, and that is fine as long as it is the KH's desire... but it's still not pure chastity. Like Billius said, there's no wrong way do do it as long as it works for you and your wife. It seems obvious that your wife thinks your 'ruined orgasm' was wrong since she sentenced you immediately to 30 days. Maybe the two of you need better communication when you are being teased. You need to learn to hold back, and she needs to learn the art of teasing... enjoy the process. Bottom line though, she's in control of your orgasms or releases, or whatever you want to call them. She makes the rules. You obey. Don't get hung up on terminology. Find what dynamic works best for the two of you. Communicate. Tweak things as you progress. Good luck! Have fun!
You know what now that I think about it I will be starting it over. I was hornier before I had that release and am now starting to think that release released me of some frustration. Thanks for the replies and I apologize for the way I was confused. Ill keep you updated. Btw, I am going to ask her to look into us purchasing a chastity device...probably the cb6000s... I know initially she was against it but has probably seen some differences in me since we started and may reconsider. One thing I know for sure is that she gets a gleam in her eyes whenever she talks about teasing me!
Oh yeah.... Strict sir, we obviously do communicate because we were talking after having that release and she was telling me we were doing it wrong. I asked why and she said that sara jameson states that their should be no intercourse during a chaste period, but she said she could not live without that and since this was the case she wanted to stop. I quickly stated to her that their is no right or wrong way of doing it and that if we want to have sex then that would be just another tease and begged her to just give it more time and that she might find that she starts to really like it. I then stated that instead of just 14 days to start some suggest 30, 60, or even 90 and she said fine 30 it is then and then joked about keeping her pussy from me as well...or was it a joke....don't know cause the next day she got her period and I haven't attempted to have sex with her since its the first couple days of it. Oh boy what did I possibly get myself into!?
Well, it can be an incredible tease to be allowed to enter her, but forbidden to cum. She gets her fill of cock, everything but the feeling of your warm ejaculate spraying her insides, and you get to experience that heavenly feel of sliding your cock into a warm, wet, clutching pussy. But then, trying and failing at that is what got you the longer lockup period, I guess. Chastity doesn't have to mean no intercourse unless that's what she wants. It sounds like, with the longer lockup periods and her desire to feel your cock inside her, you need to really work on your self control. Does your wife enjoy dildos or does she need to feel the real thing. You could also get a strap-on to fuck her with.
No she doesn't like dildos, at least that's what she say. We have never really used them. I am considering getting a cast of my cock so that she could still have me if we ever went that direction. If we don't go that direction well.... Then she will be able to have me whenever she masturbates.
Not a bad idea, at least until if and when you learn to control yourself. Does she seem to be aroused more often since putting you in chastity? She might find she really enjoys a replica of your cock that stays perpetually hard and doesn't spurt and go limp prematurely. Keeping her satisfied in whatever way she wants sounds like the best course for you. Btw, you should be proud of yourself for at least trying to stop the orgasm once you realized it was happening. But I do agree with her lengthening your chastity sentence for your failure. For discipline and training, the punishment should match the crime, I think.
Well she has not yet told me whether she would like to get a device or not so I am on the honor system right now but should find out soon. You are probably right about the replica. You are right I tried hard and would try again if I needed to....hopefully that won't happen though
Day 5: We made love and it was fantastic. I did not cum but I certainly had at least one orgasm. That night she gave me the most amazing tease and denial session...milking my prostate by pressurizing my perinium and stroking my cock. I released a ton of precum but was not allowed to cum. I was so on edge and screaming like a pig. It was heaven! She has not answered regarding a device yet but I am certain that she is enjoying herself. Frustrated and horny. Day 6: I was frustrated but felt drained...wonder if that was from the milking last night. Still horny just feels like some of the frustration is gone...confused?
Nope, that is about what it is like, I'm told. Kinda nice, eh, some attention and dribbling but you still feel horny?! Congrats... way to go! Did she have some good orgasms, I hope? If you can hold back like that when she's teasing you, you don't necessarily need a device... but they are nice, symbolically as well as making access at least very difficult, and are also nice if she doesn't want you to be able to fully erect. Glad it was fantastic for you!
You say I don't need a device....its only been 6 full days and my understanding is that it gets more difficult to control yourself each day...maybe I'm wrong....maybe I just want a device because it is even more exciting to know that I really cannot touch, at least without some major effort? I really think that I get off on not being able to get off!
Oh, I hear you. Not being able to touch or get fully erect makes it all the more real and difficult. And it's starting to sound like you just may need a device for long denial. You sound like a real horndog! Excellent that her panties were wet from teasing you. You are in for it, it sounds like. She's liking it. Has she noticed you are more attentive to her, or are you??? More sexually charged all the time? Could mean a lot of O's for her.
She might get to like those ruined orgasms, or just milking, for you too since you stay horny after. And about this thread's topic, it just doesn't matter what you call it as long as it's what your wife wishes. Abandoned orgasms are amusing too, she might like to see you dribble rather than spurt, with no touching once you get to the point of no return. I don't know how either method ranks for maintaining horniness, but I think you pretty much stay aroused without the full orgasmic reflex (you have to not flex your hips/pelvic muscles and not thrust while your cum is seeping or dribbling out - for either method).
Tonight I will finish 9 days without a release. Hasn't been to bad until this afternoon. Balls are starting to ache a bit and I definitely feel a little bit hornier than I have since I started. I suppose this may get worse...don't really know. Haven't decided if we are going to get a device yet. She doesn't seem to understand why she needs to lock it up. She also stated that she feels guilty about getting all this attention when I am getting nothing out of it. I tried to tell her that I am pleased by pleasing her...I think she is just having trouble grasping that concept. We will see I guess.
Many subs say it is a rollercoaster... the feelings experienced while in chastity... up and down, a cycle of euphoric, if frustrating, emotions. Ride it out... note your changing emotions and sensations as it progresses... your updates are enlightening for many, I'm sure. I'd say just keep telling your wife that pleasing her is what gives you pleasure. Show her. Court her all over again, whatever works. Make her feel special. Tell her that sharing her orgasm is more pleasurable to you than your own ejaculation. And then you'll both really, really enjoy that ejaculation whenever she allows it. Kudos! 9 days! Way to go! I think the ball ache will probably come and go.
After 9 days I had intercourse with my wife again. I ruined my orgasm myself as I got just a little to far, pulled out and didn't stimulate myself but released with on big spurt and some dribble. I felt awful! It was so frustrating and I felt like I let her down. She really needs to have actual penetration and I have yet to be able to consistently listen to my body and stop in time. She says its because she is that good and I will never be able to control myself. I have been able to go 4 days without release, then 9. I may have dug my grave now though. I have offered her a bet. If I go without any release other than her milking me,which I kinda hate because it leaves me wanting so much more, for 21 days then I will have a vacation period and then be chaste again for 45 days. If I release in any way other than milking I will not be chaste again unless she brings it up. She is so competitive and hates to lose so this is going to be quite tough. I did start thinking though about the other night and she was upset for me because I had gone longer than ever without release and wishes I hadn't that night. Anyways I kinda think she is really getting into it and might be looking forward to me making it the next 21 days so that she can tease me even more the next 45. She is giving off different emotions as far as being guilty for me doing so much for her but then yesterday she made this very comment...."Would you give me a head to toe massage?" And I replied "sure" very unenthusiastic. She replied "I think you should if you'd like me to play with him later." I truly believe I may be in for it and getting what I wanted after all. Be careful what you wish for!
Congratulations on the progress even though you failed again with the penetration. The point is, you are trying and you did at least ruin the orgasm, and felt guilty about your failure. Good luck with the bet! And thanks for the update.