Did you choose your sexual fetish/proclivity?

Dear Mistress Angelique,

when it comes to feminization and my desire to be as feminine as possible I can definitely say that I did not choose it. It has been something that was in me as long as I can remember. As for all my other fetishes - chastity, bondage or being a true pain slut it is rather difficult to decide. At first there were just woolly desires which were hardly to describe but at some point in my life I came along my fetishes, felt excited and eventually stuck with it. So did I really choose them? I would say that life just kept them in store for me but wanted me to discover them myself.

*curtsey*

maid katrin

 

I would agree with Maid Katrin, that you neither choose nor get chosen by your proclivities. They are just part of you.

Some you might be aware of right away, some you'll have to discover first.

Once you are aware of them the only choice you have is to live them out or to fight them.

For my part I chose to live out my preverences. Why should I actually deny a part of myself ? Due to some social norms ? Definitely not !

 

Like Maid Katrin my feminine side has always been there. It was only society that made me hold her in. It just wasn't what "boys" did but no matter how many times i tried to put her away she always came back so i would say that it chose me. As for all the kinky stuff sexually i always had fantasies about it so when i had the chance to experience them why not? Then i kept those also.

MM's sweetpea
rachel

 

thanks for the ?.i started self genital bondage at a youg teenage years & evolved from there.cant get enough or escape it.have finally inked - tattooed my slave no. & tresekle on me.it reinforces my ways to me & any who view.always ongoing process.

 

Post and vote removed

 

I learned a long time ago not to allow other people to pigeon-hole me....I will determine who I am, and what is "normal" changes as I grow!
Why, there are times now that I'm older, I can be almost mellow!
( a little tongue in cheek)
Mr Gee

 

Thank you for starting this
Mr Gee et al

 

I think everyone is born with his/her sexual interests (in fact, all you are is genetics, but that's an other story )...

For me I found out that BDSM was my thing when I was 13-years old and my brother and I played "Houdini the great escape artist" games. During one of our games I felt I had to 'pee' and my brother released me quickly and I went to the toilet. No peeing there, but I had a great feeling (hey, I was 13, and how was I to know bondage could be sexually? )
3 years later I found some BDSM movies in a local video-rental store and took one (a California Star move) and I loved it! Ever since I've been watching BDSM movies and trying to push my GF into BDSM. Too bad she wasn't into it. My later GF (now my wife) was more into it and loves to tie me up and just 'ride' me in whatever way possible

Chastity is an other thing. I just recently (not even 2 years ago) found out about male-chastity and it immediately cought my interest. Now I'm trying to get my wife to become a full-time KH for me. She has the keys already, but she still has a love/hate relationship with the CB3K

 

I've always been a little oversexed and constantly struggled with desires. At the same time I've always been intensely loyal, I'm bound by my word. Kinks developed as an intellectual exercise, experimentation in ways to keep a long term monogynous relationship intensely passionate, exciting and new. Rather than turn outward to satisfy my sex drive I turned inward. Luckily for me my wife (now often Mistress) is up for a bit of fun.

We found through experimentation that she was more comfortable being dominant than submissive. I find both roles exciting, though perhaps being submissive is a bit more refreshing. For us chastity is tied in with Femdom.

I voted for 'I can stop when ever I want'... and we do take breaks every now and again... and I'm sure if I wanted to I could stop... it's just I don't want to right now.

 

I have been desperate to be tied up and humiliated since I was a small child.
When I was three years old my mother found me in bed where I had tied myself up to the head board and I was twisting around saying a girls name over and over again.
Hmmm...ok that one is a bit out there, but whatever.

By the early sixties I developed a SERIOUS NEED to wear girls clothes.
I learned to do self bondage as a young teen and etc etc etc.

I read with fascination about "chastity belts" at the school library as a teen and wished I could be put into one by a strong woman who would keep me prisoner. Belts didn't even exist back then as far as I can tell at least not belts for men.

I struggled with it all and hid it for years. As a clinical "shrink" I even helped clients "overcome" it....hahaha (Blind leading the blind). until I met my irreplaceable wife, together we grew into this place we are now. I am in chastity 24/7 and I sleep in chains and a hood most nights unless She wants to use me and it is beautiful. She is as bent as I am but we are truly devoted to each other and we both clearly recognize the difference between fantasy and reality, what is erotic and safe amd what is crazy and dangerous. She wants to torture me to the max but never wants to hurt me.

Everything I crave to do was learned in the normal way, invented from my imagination. There was no internet and no one even really knew what a computer was back then. The TV had between three an six channels total if you were lucky and NOT ONE of those stations would show anything remotely risque. Oh and there were only six pro hockey teams in the NHL for those that care.

By the time the internet came around and I started playing with windows 3.1, I saw that the web had caught up to my perverted thinking. So this is not a new lifestyle at all, Now here we all are together. 50 years ago most of us would have thought we were freaks, or the only ones. I don'tknow about you all, but I feel a lot better about things now that there is a forum like this one. Especially Chastity Mansion where so many of us are rather nice to one another and tolerant.

I am in a very philosphical yet funky low brow mood today. Can't believe the things I am telling you all.

Thanks to all C-M'ers who make this such a damn nice place to be.
Especially Mistress Watchfull, that is where it all starts after all.

Well subklik is done for now.

 

Dear Mistress, Angelique,

I voted that life chose it for me. My earliest recollection of my proclivity was when I was 5 years old and wanted to dress as a witch for Halloween. Between 5 and 10 I was fascinated by the women in the foundation pages of the Sears, Wards and Penney's catalogs dressed in their girdles and stockings and fantasized about being confined in one that was tight fitting and restricting, especially the ones with the shiney satin front and back panels. I still get aroused to this day thinking about it. I eventually experimented with my sisters lingerie, trying on her stockings and panty girdle with the straps, then pantyhose, filling the crotch with a t-shirt pretending I had a pussy. I even experimented secretly with these garments in my first marriage. I now have a GF who is completely understanding of my proclivity. She is comfortable with my desire to wear stockings and panties. I am new to MC and currently doing my research as I am intrigued with the lifestyle and the thought of having my orgasms controlled. I have for as long as I can remember I enjoyed the feel of having my genitals confined and restricted and at the same time experince the feeling of soft silky fabric rubbing against them.

meredith

 

i have often wondered the exact same thing when it comes to my "dressing" and liking feminine things. i have often wondered and stated "why can't i just be normal". Why i can't be i don't know the bigger question to me is, why can't the world except me for what i am? No children or minors are involved yet many times i feel i am treated as some kind of pervert. i hurt no one yet am often hurt by the reactions i see on peoples faces. One happened a couple weeks ago after i had my nose pierced with a little feminine type stud which i like a lot. A young couple i would guess in their early twenties walked past me in the grocery store. They both had big septum piercings through their noses as they walked by the young lady looked at me and i can only assume my nose jewlry as i wasn't dressed. A look of disapproval crossed her face as she shook her head in a sideways no type of motion. i said nothing but thought have you LOOKED in a f-----g mirror lately.

i guess what i am saying is maybe there is nothing "wrong" with any of us it is socities lack of acceptance for us that is wrong. So tell jamie i also know he's not alone because i and many others feel the same.

MM's sweetpea
rachel

 

i was into kink before i knew it was called kink. i just knew i was different, i saw no evidence that anyone i knew shared any of my same interests.

 

But then, you already knew my answer, didn't you?

 

Strange that on a bad night like tonight, I run across this question. I'm pretty sure I did not choose to have these fetishes and desires. My mind cycles between mildly positive acceptance to fiery hatred of these facets of myself. I have pissed away plenty of money consulting mental health professionals for a 'cure.' There is no cure for something the experts believe is normal, or at least in the range of normal.

Ugh. I want to be a live and let live vanilla guy, instead of a perpetually angry periodically hateful bastard who has been known to spew the sort of venomous bigotry that usually comes out of the mouth of an ignorant jackass. I don't hate you. I frequently hate myself, and then project it on to you. A fine distinction...

Time for the deep breathing exercises.

Ghost

 

Don't have to be locked and /or denied but on the whole do prefer to be, though I would much rather have a significant other that got at least as much if not more out holding the keys.
I don't have to do this or much of anything else for that matter but what the hell I enjoy TTTWD

 

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

 

BDSM intrigued me. I love learning too.....