It's been awhile since I last posted. As a recap, my wife told me that we could break out the chastity device again but she didn't want it to be a game where I called the shots anymore. Her point being that the last times we've tried this, I have gotten out and not put the device back on after a few weeks. She has put her foot down and said that it's her rules or don't bring it up. So, after a brief period in which I was out for about 10 days in late January (I think ... it's hard to remember), I've been locked up 24/7 since mid-January. It is not as much fun for me any more. I'm constantly horny and "leaky". I want her so bad that I could explode. A week ago, I made the mistake of asking if I could get out just for a few minutes and she said she was very disappointed and told me I earned an extra month. I started to complain but she said that if I kept it up, it would quickly be an extra 2 months so I forced my mouth shut. She smiled at this and said that I was coming along nicely and laughed a bit. She tells me that this is very wonderful and she loves me for doing this. She has no intention of going back now. She is also very horny these days - she says she loves the power over me. I have heard it before from people on here that they would love to be in my position and that I should thank her for being so patient. I am extremely devoted to her and mad with desire so I do appreciate her. But it's difficult at times considering that I have to wait until June 12th before I can be let out. And what happens if she decides not to let me out then? I have to trust her now so there's no use thinking about it I guess. Oh yeah... she also has taken up using her cane on me every Tuesday morning. The time period varies based on her evaluation of my behavior. I really don't care for that but she made it clear that this is something that she wants and she already does so much for me that it's not fair to deny her. I submit to it because I know it's twice as bad if I don't.
I know life seems dark, confusing and very difficult right now but this is a process that you have to go through before learn just how good the reality can be. Your description of your previous attempts at chastity are what I term the "fluffy chastity" syndrome. It's where a sub says they want to be in chastity and give the keys over, but what they really want is a few days of tease and denial before playfully begging for a release and the domme granting one. This provides very little interest for a domme as it's all about the needs and wants of the sub. However, the moment the domme tries to get what she wants out of the chastity, the sub runs away. My Mistress has seen dozens do this and it infuriates her - well it did until she charged for it. You may well say that you went in to this with your eyes open and expected that at times it would be tough, but you're now wondering if the reality is more than you can handle. As for all those telling you how lucky you are and that they wish they could be in your position, 99% of them would have given up within a week. I, like many others on this site have been where you're at. We thought we knew what the difficulties would be but we seriously under estimated them. No matter how much you thought at the start that it would be easy to give in to her will and control, indeed, no matter how much you wanted to do just that, a part of you is fighting to retain control. Becoming genuinely controlled and submissive to her is not an intellectual exercise, it is a fundamental psychological reprogramming that no one is prepared for. You will know when you truly accept things as they are and you will not believe how much better life will be. And you will thank her from the bottom of your heart without reservation for leading you through this.
Well another month has gone by since my last post and I have adjusted a bit better. She has remained true to her word and hasn't let me out unsupervised since we started this go around. I did make the mistake of demanding to be let out at the end of March and I earned another month in chastity. There have been smaller infractions here and there and the new release date is end of July. It doesn't really matter when it is though. She has told me to put it out of my mind because when the day comes, she will decide if she is going to let me out and if I ask it won't be good. I have accepted that it is her decision and now I really just want to make her happy. She is much hornier now and so I get to pleasure her a lot which is very nice - almost indescribably so. She is very happy with my progress. She tells me that she is sure it must be difficult but I am doing a great job and she is proud of me. In my current state, that means a lot to me - again, hard to describe exactly what she means to me and how much her approval means at this point. She has started hinting that she misses normal sex. I know she wants to take a lover and I am still not there so I keep quiet. I feel very selfish though as I know how bad she wants it and it was my idea originally. Most of me wants her to be free to do so and be happy so I will probably agree before long. We'll see.