2023 making it permanent

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Hkeye, Jan 16, 2023.

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  1. Hkeye
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    Hkeye Active member

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    Last year was the first that I did not get to have PIV sex for a whole year.
    My wife seems to have decided that I should remain permanently locked in my chastity cage and denied PIV totally. She has also let me know that she no longer views me as someone who should be having any form of sex with her. She has not touched my caged balls for over a month & has not allowed be to touch her in a sexual way either. Last year she let me lick her pussy and bring her to orgasm several times, but I don't think she views me a deserving that any more.
    Yesterday when I woke up I found a large wet spot on my side of the bed and told my wife that I had a heavy wet dream. She laughed and said that I should get used to cumming that way as it would be the only way I will be getting any relief in future.
    I still love her very much but feel like I have become a very close friend rather than a lover.
    She hasn't even commented on the fact that it has now been over a year since my willie has been inside her.
    I think she knows it would be even less satisfying for her to allow that now as I would probably cum before even getting inside her.
     
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  2. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    That sounds sad. Good luck.
     
  3. Ms Angela’s Sub
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    Ms Angela’s Sub Red Chilli Sissy Cage

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    May want to rethink this. No intimacy at all is a recipe for disaster and ultimately heart break for you. Her totally ignoring you can’t possibly be something you truly want. I don’t pretend to know the history of your relationship, but If Miss A this to me, my participation in our FLR would end and the cage would be off in a heartbeat. For me atleast, love and intimacy is a requirement. Without that, your just a pay check…and alone.
     
  4. Miss Bella
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    Miss Bella The Head Balls Coach

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    Amen to that. The tease and denial is one thing, but the complete and total lack of any intimacy or signs of love/affection (even if in a playfully demeaning way) is incompatible with my brain comprehending the appeal.

    so in my mind, its either the doings of a truly sadistic cold-hearted woman or its complete and utter nonsense. and as I really want to take someone at their word (although i know better), you see it far often everyone online that this is rather a stretch of the imagination for me and not in a sexy way.
     
  5. Yesiwearskirts
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    Yesiwearskirts Long term member

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    +1 here. With or without chastity, communication is extremely important. While not headed towards FLR in my 21 year marriage, lack of intimacy forced or unforced can lead down bad paths.

    The two of you need to have a talk and if that's what she wants and feels, and if you agree with it, then go for it. If not, you guys have some things to work out.

    Best of luck....
     
  6. Servus
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    Servus Long term member

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    Well I even go crazy if my lady doesnt touch me one or two months and just leaves me on the side like I wasnt there sexually.
    Crazy in the manner, that I really think to quit the FLR and start a new life without her - we spoke a bout this opportunity by the way.

    No PiV okay. Who needs that. But without teasing, without humiliation. Without any kind of intimacy except like friends do... Not for me.
     
  7. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    Couldn't agree more. No affection, no attention, no anything; why even be together?
     
  8. Servus
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    Servus Long term member

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    Yes. Touching is so important. It not only makes yoz feel good by the release of hormones like Oxytocin. It also keeps you healthy and you will live longer.
     
  9. NowIveDoneIt
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    NowIveDoneIt Long term member

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    That sounds terrible. Sorry to hear, maybe it is time to sit down and evaluate the friendship (I wouldn't consider it a relationship at this point).
     
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  10. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    Ummmm that's a big fat NO for me.
    No way no how.
    I would cut the cage off and cut ties
     
  11. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    Exactly right, sorry to say if she's not touching you then who
     
  12. SubDee
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    SubDee Long term member

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    Leave her immediately, if not sooner.
     
  13. madams-sissysub
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    I agree!
     
  14. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    I'd like to think that given the right amount of emotional, intellectual & spiritual intimacy, any woman / partner will come around to physical intimacy, especially if you focus on their love language. Maybe I'm just a romantic and naive!
     
  15. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    Caged or not. Sex or not. Unless this is a fun game between you two (which is not how it’s described) you can’t live without mutual respect.
     
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  16. Hkeye
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    Hkeye Active member

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    We still sleep together and cuddle. I give her back rubs and we spoon.
    She has not been very well since Christmas but last night said she was feeling more like herself. Don't know what that means for me.
    She hasn't allowed passionate kissing for a while but sometimes we do kiss tenderly (although I can't remember when the last time was).
    When she was changing for bed a couple of nights ago she saw me staring at her pussy when she pulled her knickers down. She told me to stop staring as she pulled her pj bottoms on.
    Every night I get so hopeful that she will come to bed without her pj bottoms on, as that has been her indication that she allows me to touch her body & sometimes lick her to orgasm.
    For now I just hold her so close at night and dream of her wonderful body.
     
  17. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    There is still supposed to be some mutual contact in my opinion, this my opinion and opinion only, you should be getting touched and teased st minimum, or the game is not much fun, me personally I would have a talk about how you I feel with my wife or the whole thing would be over but that's me.
     
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  18. Servus
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    Servus Long term member

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    Hm could be she had an affaire.
     
  19. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    Could be something completely different entirely. Body confidence or anxiety. Feeling under appreciated… 100s of things. We don’t know enough about her to judge whether she would do that at all.
     
  20. Servus
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    Servus Long term member

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    No judgement. Just an idea.
     
  21. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    I'm going to suggest you need to find a way to have some serious clarity about what's going on, and how you are going to discuss it with your wife.

    I don't see any mention of honest non-kink serious communication going on, which is scary as hell. These relationships only survive through mutual respect and lots of honest uninhibited communication. My humble suggestion is to set the dynamic aside and talk frankly as husband and wife - married people- about what are your needs for intimacy and mutual respect.

    If this is a fantasy post, it's not very realistic. If this is a legitimate thing going on your life, it sounds very unhealthy. Please think carefully about all this before your marriage goes to some sad place you can't get back from.

    I live a 24/7 D/s dynamic and I can tell you once a week we talk honestly with no dynamic in play and no judgements. We call it 'Staff Meeting' and tonights the night. Please consider trying something like that- you need the ability to talk with your wife as an equal and find out where you stand in her life and be able to tell her where you want her in YOUR life. Don't talk with your penis, talk with your head. Marriage comes FIRST.
     
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  22. NM Lori
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    NM Lori Lori 5c wearer

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    My wife and I have not had sex in two years . And very infrequently before that. She has some serious health issues and no libido. I think for all of 2022 I was allowed to masturbate her 3 times. She has zero interest, even before menopause. If I bring it up it leads to hurt feelings. She feels guilty, promises to try harder, but it doesn’t happen.

    that’s the whole reason I am locking up in long term, semi-permanent chastity. She’s my wife and we have been married for coming up on 30 years. I miss sex, but after several very long chastity sessions I have come to accept life without sex. Masturbating is not a good idea for me. I have chemical imbalances that make my refractory period last a week or more, and I am an ass to deal with during that time. It’s best if I just stay denied and locked.
     
  23. NM Lori
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    NM Lori Lori 5c wearer

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    So,e thing that might also be a consideration - women with low libido often don’t even think about how long it has been since having sex. My wife didn’t believe me when we passed that 1 year mark, but when she really stopped and thought about it she realized I was right.
     
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  24. Hkeye
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    Hkeye Active member

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    I think this is how my wife is thinking. I will find the opportunity to sit down at talk it through with her. My understanding of the situation is that she is no longer willing to put up with my premature ejaculation, especially since menopause intercourse has been uncomfortable/painful for her. I honestly don't think she thinks about sex and hasn't realised that we have not had piv sex for over a year now. She had seemed to be enjoying me giving oral sex and causing her to get wet and orgasm that way, but her libido is low so she only seems to feel like doing that every couple of months or less. She has got used to not having to do anything for me sexually and I have told her I'm happy with our situation. I would like her to initiate sex more often and even touch me somtimes, but I do not want to pressure her or get into an argument about it. I introduced chastity to our relationship so cannot now resent her using it however she decides to.
     
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  25. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    Out of curiosity, she may not think about sex being something you both require… but other than that is she a willing partner? Caring for your needs and ensuring you are happy?
     
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