Stepping away from the helm.

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mistress's_slave, Nov 14, 2010.

Random Thread
  1. Mistress's_slave
    Offline

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2010
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Support Worker/ Psychotherapist
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Kent
    Local Time:
    5:22 AM
    This is a quick question as im not sure there is any easy answer.
    my Mistress has told me that i mustn't ask, push, beg, plead or otherwise try to get Her to do anything i would like. Ok then.
    Mistress has told me that She doesn't want me calling Her Mistress all the time- we will start off having 'Mistress&slave days' until we work out where we are going with all this, what the boundaries are, etc. ok then.
    But i keep trying to anticipate Her and please Her...and keep sodding up. i mean, She took me out of my cage this morning- (it only went on late friday) because we are going to my father later today, and Mistress does not want this lifestyle to become our sole lifestyle, if you understand? That when i am not in my cage, we are not Mistress&slave, but ourselves.
    Does this mean that when i'm out of my cage i can play with myself then? i mean, that's what i would normally do if horny. But i dont think Mistress wants me to do that. But She doesnt want me calling Her Mistress if I'm out of the cage, and i do not need to be a slave.....
    Confused.
    i want to help and make things as easy and comfortable for Her (and therefore, by extension- me) as possible....but feel like i'm having trouble navigating through water i've not swam before.
    Don't get me wrong- this isnt a catastrophe and i probably am giving this more thought than needed. i would like whatever happens between my fiancee- my Mistress and i- to be organic, and develop as it will, without forcing it in any one direction. How do i take a step back and allow it room to grow as it will, without controlling it, and without trying to anticipate my Mistress and please Her?
    Thank Y/you in advance for any advice Y/you can give
     
  2. peter7447
    Offline

    peter7447 Masochistic Husband

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    CEO
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Germany, Berlin, Berlin
    Local Time:
    6:22 AM
    I think it is very easy. When she is not your mistress, during your "off times", you can do whatever you wish to do. This means you can wank as much as you like.

    It is also totally up to you if you do not wank during those times, only you decide. The fantastic thing is that you are also free to NOT wank, if this is what you desire. I am sure your lock up times will be much more intense, if you can resist the urge to wank during your "off times".

    It´s a good way you and your fiancee are going, because with the "off times" you have the chance to really make sure that you and her fit well together.

    So don´t give yourself any pressure and take things slow. All is good.
     
  3. Missy Tanya
    Offline

    Missy Tanya Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    946
    Likes Received:
    703
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Pacific Northwest
    Local Time:
    10:22 PM
    Never, never wank off without Mistresses permission. Just because real life gets in the way of play every once and a while doesn't mean that you get to fall back into your own ways.

    She's still the one in charge, even if your not locked.
    She's deserves to get the respect she entitled too.
    Just because she doesn't want to be called Mistress 24/7 doesn't mean that you don't have to respect her, or her wishes.

    I use the term, Dear, just as I use Mistress. When we are around family, friends, and even out in public when I wouldn't want to embarrass her, by calling her Mistress.

    So just because she doesn't want to be call Mistress 24/7, or have you locked 24/7 doesn't mean she doesn't want the respect or service she deserves.

    Just my thoughts, Missy Tanya
     
  4. Jabber43
    Offline

    Jabber43 Just Another Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2010
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    5:22 AM
    Hehe, two conflicting answers. Everybody is different.

    You should talk with her about it so you find out what you both like, and so you both agree about how things are to be (for now - every relationship evolves).

    If you like it, an agreement that you do not play with yourself when you are not locked and she does not feel like playing Mistress could be a way for you to still feel under her control at these times.

    And it is something that doesn't really require her to do or say anything, so it will be easy for her. Just make sure you do not bother her with requests for permission to play with yourself when she in not in Mistress-mode.

    But remember that it can be hard for you when you have not cum for some time, especially when you are not securely locked. If you fail to keep your end of such an agreement, you should tell her immediately.
     
  5. Mistress's_slave
    Offline

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2010
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Support Worker/ Psychotherapist
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Kent
    Local Time:
    5:22 AM
    Mistress wanted to see what i have been writing and see the replies, and wanted me to thank everyone for posting their opinions, although She did not agree with the comment made that i can wank off when i am out of my cage. She wants to tease and deny me until i am so horny that i take Her forcefully; which seeing as being dominant in bed does not come easily for me or excite me 'down there' means that i could well be denied to cum for quite some time. Havent been allowed to since last thursday, and while it is tough at the time- while being tormented- at the moment it isnt preying on my mind and i am not very frustrated. i am a glutton for punishment though- so tease and denial is in itself something of a treat!
    Speaking of treats though, thinking about it i realise that i have been quite pampered up until now; being 'treated' with facesitting and ass worship as a result of prodding or 'subtly suggesting' it....no longer! If i ask/prod/ beg, etc. it will be even longer until i am judged worthy having it!
     
  6. chasted me
    Offline

    chasted me Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2010
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Local Time:
    5:22 AM
    i will also say that if you play with a device, then you can do everything you want when out.

    isn`t thats the reason you bought a device? than wil your KH use the device more on you, :rolleyes:

    i do whatever i want when i am out. and if my KH dont like that, she loks me in. its that simple, And when i am loked i go with it almoust everywhere i go, The jailbird dont have a bulge so no one can se it anyways, so it dont bother me when out with my friends, at work, visiting parents, family dinner and so on...

    but people is different, i just think its an easy sign to when we are playing denying or not, (wonder why i am loked in almoust all the time................. ) :D
     
  7. Mistress's_slave
    Offline

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2010
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Support Worker/ Psychotherapist
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Kent
    Local Time:
    5:22 AM
    Thank you for all the replies- it does feel good knowing others have experienced the same, if not more, than i have! i appreciate the advice. :)
    Does it ever get any easier though?
    So far as being denied orgasm...all i can say is that i felt the same when i last attempted to quit smoking. Questioning myself, my motives- where they genuine? And even if that is what i did want, the thought of...forever? Even in the shorter term- a week? These are the kind of questions i asked myself when attempting to quit smoking, and are the same one's I'll no doubt ask again, if- or should i say- when- i get the guts up to attempt again.
    i enjoy that i have given myself up to my Mistress. i wont say it is easier than before...just...freeing in a way. And as far as the sex life goes- if She is happier, hornier, has better or more orgasms, then i am happy. From my own viewpoint, i am sure my own orgasms will be more powerful and intense , when- or if- i am allowed to spend myself. And i can already appreciate that i viewed sex as a right. Yes, a priveledge, but also- somehow- as a right. Not that i ever raped my fiancee or made life terrible for Her if She did not agree to sex when i wanted it. But i certainly put the pressure on, a sometimes sulked a little if i didnt get it. So...i can see the plus side to what i have agreed and what Mistress is commanding...but how to stop (only after 4 days) the HUGE withdrawel symptoms? Will they get worse? Will i get over them? Does this all get easier, or more manageable?
    Thank you once again (and i promise that i will eventually stop whining about this, and when i am old hat at this- contribute with help/advice to other newbies! lol.)
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice