Hello, as the title says, 32/M and married to my lovely wife - She's happy to dip her toes into the chastity game, but I'm having an issue finding some videos and guides that are less on the 'humiliation' side of things. If anybody has any specific videos or guides that they think would be good introducing someone new to the kind of kink/lifestyle, please don't hesitate!
Not sure you need videos, there's not a lot to see once your locked. Just teach her how to say no to you. For us (me and Lady C) is a power thing. She controls me and any sexual contact is now on her terms. A
I definitely get that; I think we're just looking for something with already established rules/suggestions so we can incorporate them into our own sessions .
Session? This is a lifestyle and not anything that is taken out of a drawer. OK, definitely start with some sessions, think of it as foreplay. You're locked and can't get hard, she just needs to look at your crotch, covered or naked and smile. She can play with the key, put it on a chain around her neck, wrist, ankle. She can whisper all sorts of stuff to excite you and wear her most sexy / revealing clothes/underwear (see this post on mind fuckery: https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/what-does-mind-fuckery-mean-to-you.48117/). A lot of it is in the power of suggestion. You don't say if there's any Femdom involved - doesn't need to be humiliation, but does she want to take control of you?
Yes, she's expressed an interest in taking control, she's just timid and a bit more of a bottom, so it's getting her out of her comfort zone when it comes to expressing dominance.
She might feel different with a set of keys in her hand :-D Feel free to ask specific questions, I'm always up for a chat A
I'll reiterate what others have said. Don't think too much about rules and process. She has the key and therefore makes the rules. Lately my girlfriend has been using my caged cock as a dildo (as best she can). Gets me so turned on. She'll rub herself with it, hump it, etc. I get just enough feeling thru the openings. Sometimes she'll let me out and I fuck her, cuming in a min or two...other's she'll just stop and leave me hanging.
Although you probably can’t get a tutorial to implement a lifestyle or session, each relationship is unique. However, there’s stuff you could do: Firstly, she’s going to have to learn to say no. Which is much easier if you find the ‘science’ behind it and explain oxytocin etc. Next she needs to know some techniques. So videos on milking or ruined orgasms are pretty much available on any porn site. After that she’s going to see the benefits to her so start giving her what she desires whilst your locked up. It will be easy as you’ll want to do everything for her with all those happy hormones in play. She’s going to need to know you’re never allowed a real orgasm ever again. So you’re going to have to tell her that you’d prefer it that way to help her get over the guilt! Obviously, she’s going to have to invest in some implements for discipline. Just because you’ll try your best to please her it’s not always going to go to plan and you’ll need to know you’ve done wrong. Whatever she prefers, there’s lots available on sex toy sites. Whether that’s CBT or Spanking she can take her pick. Also, clear out a corner for you to stand in too. Not sure if you’re happy with your wardrobe, but whatever’s in there should just be thrown away now. Start buying female clothes. Start at charity shops or buy in bulk online to get started. Keep costs down without having to be seen in the same outfit twice. Realistically your cock is ultimately going to be worthless to her so reach out to your well-endowed friends. She’ll need some sexual activity. You may want to ask them for samples of their semen as you’ll have to be cleaning that… you’ll want one that’s preferable to you. If you don’t know any well-endowed friends you’ll probably make new ones online. She’s probably going to have to sign herself up for some dominatrix lessons too… In fact, whatever she does now she should quit as it will probably become her full time vocation. Oh wait… I may be getting ahead of myself. Have you bought yourself a cage yet?
So this is my plan to implement with my wife (just need to find the right time as we're both very busy) same situation she needs to release the inner domme. I leave a trail of rose pedals with candles lit leading to the bedroom ( I know cliche but that's where it ends) where I (you) and tied leg and arm spread eagles on the bed, explain in a not or yourself she can ask you anything and you have to tell the truth if she likes the answer she can reward you if she has trouble thinking of a reward feel free to suggest one, it she doesn't like the answer she gets to punish you.....it's a win win win imo
Well you got the tie myself to the bed part right. The rest is played a little more loosely, spank is an option of course but there are a lot more punishments that could be done, and then there's rewards too ....
Its a complex plan . Hey, it wouldn’t work for my wife. She’d probably just laugh and go read a book or something… but you know yours better than me. From experience I’d say start small. Start with denial everything else your keyholder is interested in will come out eventually.