Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes

Yes, but I think it was a bit too much for us both... Sal

 

I think what he needs more than anything is a holiday! (And me, of course!) Sal

 

You literally had be laughing out loud! If only!! Sal

 

Last night seemed like the first time in ages when we could just be alone together without having to be in a panic about his Dad or being dog tired after doing errands on top of work. I took the cage off him and we had a nice long, unhurried, energy-profligate shower together and proper long, slow kisses. I was desperate to have him inside me and found myself saying so. He was suddenly the eager puppy but I realised that it was too soon to allow him release - just a few days doesn't count as much denial at all! He was just keen and eager, rather than being totally desperate. He said that he didn't think he'd be able to control himself. So I said I'd like to have another go with the numbing cream. At first he looked worried but then I realised he was also excited at the prospect.

I hate the whole glove thing - it started feeling a bit 'medical' but the anticipation of what we were about to do made it a bit more interesting and I tried to make eye contact as much as possible to make it feel less clinical. This time, I was much more careful about not being too gung-ho at first and tipping him over the edge - last time, I went too far. I just did the top couple of inches and went much more slowly this time. Eventually he said he was quite numb and said he was worried about going soft. I tried to reassure him that it didn't matter and that having him be hard was my responsibility, not his. I kissed him and showed him how excited I was.

He was about to enter, when we realised that he needed a condom, or I'd go numb too (is that right? Or if I'd have given him a quick wash so there was no cream left on the surface, could we have managed without?). Having to go and find a condom rather killed the moment and by the time I was back, he wasn't hard enough to put it on, and of course, touching and stroking it wasn't going to help. Kissing got some response and the naughtiest talk I could muster helped a lot too. I think it was his nipples that finally did it though. As soon as it was hard, I just asked him to take me and said he should let himself come if he wanted to. He looked grateful, until he understood that he probably wouldn't be able to.

It was a genuinely fantastic feeling for me. He was taking me, overpowering me, but I felt wonderfully in control. At one point I gripped his nipples hard and I though he might come, but he couldn't. It felt so naughty! I completely lost myself in the moment. Just wonderful. Eventually, he stopped. I asked him how it felt and he said he felt totally frustrated but pleased too because he'd loved seeing how excited I had been. He said that it had been easier to cope with because he had only been locked for a few days. I told him it would be much longer next time. (Evil grin.)

I told him it was time to pop the cage on again. The moment of turning the key felt blissful, as always - very intimate and with a feeling of control, as well as responsibility. I'm glad we persevered with the cream - and he said he was too. We slept like logs.

Sal.

 

This has been a much better week. His dad is stable and actually getting some of his humour back. Thanks for the suggestions about stopping My Pete playing with himself but while he's been having this really stressful time with his Dad, I figured he needed a bit of release and seeing as I couldn't be with him all the time, it felt right to take a break from the rules.

Other than times when I've been there to supervise, he's been back in the cage since Monday - it's Saturday afternoon now. I've tried to make the washing and shaving, and this morning's measurement and inspection, as titillating as possible. After writing down the measurements today, he was very excited. I asked him to stand in front of me until it had gone soft enough that we could get the cage back on. We both enjoy cfnm, so I asked him to stand with his trousers round his ankles. This was an idea of Laura's - another of those 'why didn't I think of that?' moments! He said he was finding it a bit humiliating, to which I replied that he obviously seemed to find it exciting too and that he should just be grateful that Laura wasn't here this time. His face looked genuinely worried, but another part of him was clearly excited. I watched him until he went soft but because he kept getting hard when we tried putting on the cage, I had to resort to frozen peas. I enjoyed seeing him excited and once he was safely locked up, we lay together for a while with my hand on the cage, very slowly moving it around, and I gave the odd tweak to his nipples to keep him interested. After a while, I gently patted the side of his head, wondering if he'd remember the signal. His reaction was immediate and it felt wonderful.

He pointed out this morning that our behaviour changes after he's come recently. He acknowledged that he has a bit of a drop (not as extreme as some people on this site have described, I think) but he thought that I am more attentive and make a greater effort to tease and excite him in the first week or so. I hadn't realised, but I think he's right. It might be that I'm responding to him being a bit down and wanting to cheer him up. Or, if I'm totally honest, it's more likely I think, that I enjoy him feeling frustrated and a bit desperate and want to get him to that 'phase' quickly. Once he's been in for a week or so, I feel in control again and he's so easily excited that I don't seem to need to do much for him to be pleasingly distracted.

Sal

 

Thank you! I think we were both surprised too. Part of me has been wondering whether we slipped back so effortlessly because the previous couple of weeks had been so awful that we just wanted to leave all that behind. But I do think this is something we both enjoy. I think we're both amazed that there are things that a few months ago would have made us uncomfortable, which now feel exciting and loving and perfectly normal, or at least 'right' for us. One of those things is our little ritual of me removing his cage, washing him, shaving underneath where the ring goes, giving lots of encouraging words, drying him and locking him back up. And, although it's definitely not our new 'normal', I can't believe that he took me using a strap-on, and once also (so far) with numbing cream. These things would have been way outside our comfort zone previously but now that I see they're a logical part of me being in control of when he can get hard, and when he can come, they seem perfectly good fun. He has said a few times that he's enjoyed not having to take the lead 'in the bedroom' as he has to be in charge at work all the time. For me, I'm constantly being bossed around at work, so having this level of control is a lovely contrast. Sal

 

Thank you. We'll definitely give that a try sometime. But my main takeaway from this and some of your other lovely responses is to try to give him options. When I've followed your previous advice on this, it's worked out really well but for some reason, I keep forgetting to do this. I slip into the mode of trying to make all the decisions. So many things to remember! Sal

 

Text message from him this afternoon to say that the pub that he and his mates are installed in, only has urinals - the stalls are out of order - and please may he use the emergency key? My response "No - I'm sure you'll manage". He texted a few minutes later saying it went OK. I texted back to say he deserved a lovely treat. He sent me a bunch of smileys. And I sent him a message with a picture of a cake with the caption, 'Your treat'. Evil grin. Sal

 

A slightly confusing situation. We were woken at an ungodly hour this morning by a minor car crunch in the road and a major altercation that followed. After watching the street-theatre for a while, we were too jazzed up to go back to sleep.

We lay in bed with tea and chatting for a while. I had my hand on his cage - I like to just leave it there sometimes while we're talking, and without thinking, I just automatically move it around a bit. I finally realised that he was getting distracted. He said that this time being locked up he'd reached 'peak frustration' (yes!!- I love that phrase!) earlier than previously. I said that I'd done my best and we both laughed. He said he'd missed our project when he'd been dealing with his dad and that it had felt both exciting and secure coming back to it. He said again how the combination of looking after his parents, and having to be the confident boss at work all the time made him even more appreciate me taking the lead, and the responsibility, for our 'bedroom life'.

He asked me whether I minded, or had any second thoughts, or missed anything. I explained, as I do often, that I love the feeling of control, which I find a massive turn-on. It's also a contrast to my work where I have much less control than he does. He needs to hear this quite often. I've realised he likes to hear me talk about my enjoyment of my feeling of power and control. And I've realised that I enjoy saying it too - and he's sensitive to that. I did also say that while I like taking responsibility for when he can get hard and when he can come, I do quite like it when I've given him permission to take the lead sometimes. I mentioned the image of a powerful animal on a leash.

With all this talk, and some long kisses, I was getting excited and it was lovely to feel his hand on me. He still does a lot of work with his hands - I keep telling him to wear gloves - so I'm amazed at how gentle he can be. He took me close and then backed off a few times and then, just as I was near the edge and I thought, 'this is it', he stopped altogether and just said it was time to get up! That's not something he's done for a long, long time and my first thought was that he was upset. But he was grinning his mad grin and he just said that he thought maybe I should have a tiny taste of what he goes through every day. He reminded me that he's staying with his parents tonight and asked me to see if I could avoid playing with myself at least until he's back tomorrow evening! My first thought was, 'Bloody cheek!'

He's gone off to work now and I'm feeling frustrated, indecently excited and a bit confused. Right at the start of our chastity project, I remember feeling unsure about the boundary between wanting to take control of when he can be hard and when he can come, and yet neither of us wanting him to be submissive. I realise this has all become very blurred and what he did this morning was exciting but also left me wondering. The times when he's taken the lead have been within quite strict limits and with my say-so, leaving me still in ultimate control. This morning felt very different. By sayingI like it he take the lead sometimes, I probably encouraged him, and I admit it felt nice (and still feels nice). But it also feels a bit strange because his motive seemed to be to 'take back control' at least for a while and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I spoke to Laura just now. Having thought about it, I'm going to try to do as he asked and hold-off until he's back. I think I won't punish him - after all, I'm not annoyed but I feel I need to reassert myself. Laura suggested I think about the things which he finds most controlling and 'difficult' and to say to him that although they're not a punishment, they are a consequence of his mischief. Tomorrow night then... (Sadly, Laura isn't free, or that would have been fun). I know that having him exposed and watching him go soft is something he finds especially difficult. (I've fantasised about 'pegging' him but neither of us is ready and anyway, the strap-on he used on me would be miles too big, and I don't even know if the strappy thing itself would work with me.) I'll have fun trying to think of other things for a couple of days andof course I'll be sure to remind him that I'm putting some thought into it.

It's all pleasingly exciting but I am confused about just how much he and I want him to submit to me.

Sal

 

He just texted me and asked if I was feeling frustrated. I said that was a damn cheek! I admitted that I am (which is true) but that I could soon do something about that, whereas he's going to be so frustrated he'll be begging and willing to do anything for release. That's made me think even more. I can tell he wants to wind me up... Sal