Getting him back in

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Leanne, Oct 22, 2010.

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  1. Leanne
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    Leanne Member

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    Hi,

    I would really appreciate some more advice.
    We have been playing with chastity for sometime now, my problem is when I let him out it is always difficult to get him back in afterwards.
    I let him have an orgasm when I feel he deserves it and to give him a break from the chastity device I do not make him put it straight back on afterwards.
    The trouble is by the next morning I forget then when I remember it is not always at an appropriate time to make him lock back up, then by the time it is suitable I have forgotten again.
    He is very sneaky and once he has had an orgasm he doesn’t really want to be locked up again, reading the other threads this seems to be common.
    I supposed the other difficulty is he can not wear the chastity device (CB-6000s) all of the time as he wears suits to work and the bulge might get noticed.

    Any thoughts or advice would be gratefully received

    Leanne
    X
     
  2. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Leanne,

    A few things come to mind. First, regarding the suits, I suspect that he >could< wear the cb6k under his suit, if he chose the right underwear. I wear my cb3k both at work and at the gym. I wear cycling pants under my shorts to help hold the CB down. If you guys are committed to him wearing the cb6k, then I think you can probably solve the problem by considering alternative underclothes. It's not uncommon for men to have a bulge in their crotch. We DO have something in there, after all! lol. You both may be a little more sensitive to the issue than anyone else would be.

    Regarding getting him to put it back on. There could be a number of things going on. First of all, right after orgasm, we guys are frequently less submissive feeling. Some guys are SO much less submissive feeling that they want fewer orgasms, because they don't like their own behavior during this "sub drop". That might be part of it.

    I'm not aware the circumstances of his lockup. Is this something HE initiated, or YOU did? Are you trying to lead a Female Led Relationship? If he initiated the interest in chastity, or you're mutually interested in an FLR, then perhaps you just have to take a stronger lead in demanding that he lock up immediately. He may be looking for you to take that lead. If this was originally YOUR idea, and he's reluctantly agreeing, then perhaps granting him a little slack and compromise is the right thing.

    The best bet is to communicate. Ask him >why< he doesn't want to lock up again immediately? Ultimately, chastity play has to be mutually agreeable. If he's not locking up right away, there's a reason. Understanding that is the first step toward finding a mutually agreeable resolution.

    Best of luck!
    mikecb
     
  3. Bobby
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    Bobby Junior Member

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    Agreed with the previous post about the bulge--my job requires that I wear slacks all the time and due to the nature of my work, I have to sit next to other guys all the time, during which they would have numerous opportunities to spot my CB. When I had the CB6000 (normal tube) I had to be self conscious when I sat in the car (because of the way the seam of the slacks tends to emphasize what's beneath) but now that I'm in the 's' sized tube--there's no problem at all. There's no way it can be seen because the 's' tube makes the whole device lie much flatter against the crotch.

    But as to your main point--I think you need to be like my wife does and insist he put it back on right after sex. That's really the best time--he's got most or all of his clothes off, the subject will still be fresh on both of your minds, and you still have the leverage to enforce your policy. You might even tell him beforehand that his orgasms are conditional, i.e., he only gets one if he puts the device back on immediately after cumming.

    Good luck.
     
  4. Andee
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    Andee Enthusiast :)

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    I'd agree with the other posters, get him back in quite soon. Right after he’s come there’s an anti-climatic feeling and getting belted again will be the last thing on his mind.

    So, perhaps it’s nice to "not spoil the moment" and so allow him 5 or 10 minutes to relax and get his breath back but then the belt should go on.

    Good luck.
     
  5. Andee
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    Andee Enthusiast :)

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  6. ms-laurel
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    ms-laurel Junior Member

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    Here's a novel idea...just don't let him out :D
     
  7. northoftheriver
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    northoftheriver Junior Member

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    In my experience with the CB6000 / 6000s, a few days of rest and cock maintenance is needed after a period of extreme confinement in these devices. Certainly with me, I find that the skin is quite tender on the shaft underside and sometimes there are minor abrasions that need time to heal. Also the skin, once it is exposed to air, seems to dry out - so lots of moisturiser is needed to get things back into tip top condition. If Mistress determines that I have to be immediately re-caged after a CB6k has been removed, we generally switch to a steel device such as my 'Desire' so that security is maintained and the cock is allowed to recover from the extreme confinement. This also allows the CB6k to be properly cleaned and checked for any stress damage.

    As for clothing, I usually wear suits to work and generally wear fairly snug briefs when a CB is attached. I do sometimes feel conscious of the additional bulge but frankly it's all part of the process and most people looking are unlikely to immediately jump to the conclusion that there's £100 worth of plastic causing it. At least it's not as much of a bulge as is evident when having an unrestrained hard-on!

    NotR
     
  8. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    lol @ Ms. Laurel :lol:

    MM's sweetpea
    rachel
     
  9. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    If you really want to give him a breather after an O, then get something to tie his wrists, snd keep them that way till it's back on again...
     
  10. Rita
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    Rita Long term member

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    Or make sure his hands are secured before you unlock him so he has no choice other than to co-operate.

    Rita

     
  11. dubsub
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    dubsub Member

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    As far as I am concerned there are two issue here that you need to stamp out. The CB6000S cannot be seen under clothing. especially a suit. Tell him to wear it 24/7/365. Then if he deserves a release he needs to swear to put it back on within an hour or forfeit release with a longer lock up.
    Either he is a sub or he is not. Make him prove it.

    dubsub
     
  12. richard
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    richard Just me

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    I wear CB-6000s and I wear suits to work and no-one notices.
     
  13. penis prisoner
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    penis prisoner Locked in steel

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    I have been locked in my CB6Ks for a month today without relief and I'm pretty much over feeling self consious about people noticing my bulge. I think its looks like a normal bulge just like I didn't have my cage on. I think its ok to give him a break from wearing the cage after a long denial its really up to you in the end but if you do want him back in after release its up to you to demand it or you will withhold the next release. Like others have said you could restrain him so he has no choice.
     
  14. Jabber43
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    Jabber43 Just Another Member

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    Same for me. Nobody have ever noticed anything.

    Initially I was very self-conscious when wearing the device in public. I thought everybody was looking at me and that it might sometimes show. But that was just my imagination.

    When wearing very tight pants the padlock can sometimes be a problem with the CB-6000s, because it rests on the top of the cage and can make a bulge. It this is a problem, consider using one of the numbered one-time plastic locks instead, as it has a flat profile. This will also take care of the problem with an emergency key.
     
  15. northoftheriver
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    northoftheriver Junior Member

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    Try putting in the locking pin the other way round, so that the padlock is positioned at the back of the device rather than on top of the cage. Works better for me, especially if you get a padlock with rounded corners.

    NotR
     
  16. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    i wear 24/7 and no one has noticed.
    We need to be forced to be caged again straight after orgasm.
     
  17. Sissy_Aline
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    Sissy_Aline Senior Member

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    Simple - simple - simple. As soon as he is done - he cleans up and places the chastity back on. He gets a pass to not wear it at work - the thought of anyone doing that while at work - um, just doesn't work out right. So 24/7 for some is reality, for most, no. You are the keeper, yet he is the one responsible for placing it back on himself and showing you that this has happened. There is conditioning involved - yes. This is a team project - one being in chastity and one observing that it is maintained.
     
  18. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    I have heard of locking a collar on, or one hand cuff before unlocking the Chastity device. Then once he has reinstalled and locked back up, then and only then will the collar get unlock. So Chastity or collar, which does he want to wear out of the house.

    I have locked a chain dog collar around my neck, or ankle before unlocking, and this doing the same thing.

    As for the bulge, you silly boy's. No one really is looking, unless she is on the prowl. Looking for sex, and your not going to be able to help out in that department!! Most people aren't looking at every crotch to "check it out" I have found this out with my Cross-dressing. Once I quit looking out for everyone that would be checking me out, I realized no one really was looking. Darn it, I always thought I was one sexy woman. But the girls at the bars do look, checking out the competition. If they only knew I wasn't, competition, and locked up to boot!!

    Missy Tanya
     
  19. Jibeset
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    Jibeset Member

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    Try giving him an orgasm while still in the 6000s. It's not nearly as good as an orgasm without the tube, it's like a ruined orgasm of sorts. But then he's already in the 6Ks.
    And if he's at all like me, the last sensation I want is to be back in the tube for the first 24 hours after an orgasm.
     
  20. jfaraci01
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    jfaraci01 Junior Member

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    First is I wear regular jeans and shorts for work. I crawl around all over boats in just about any tight spot one could imagine. Trust me no one notices. It is just a "self rational" excuse not to get locked back up because the desire is no longer there after orgasm. This is a lifestyle choice and commitment, not always a matter of convenience or when we are ready to "play" again. Quit yur whining and get locked up again. How about simply refusing to remove the cuff ring. When you remove the cage in one swoop pass the lock through the pin hole so the ring cannot be removed. Just think either tie him down before sex and do this then afterwords when he "softens" and cannot "harden" up reapply the cage and untie after the lock clicks shut.Or,,,he has to sleep sometime...with the ring still in place all you have to do is gently and softly (as to not waken him) reapply the cage. It surprises me that in the sense of cleanliness, keptforher.com has a cleaning kit that works great. Before I had the kit when I removed the cage after about a week for cleaning there was a lite odor now there is no odor at all...none. My wife/key-holder has also noticed this and has embraced even longer terms before removal for cleaning and has now become removal for inspection only (about 1-2 hours)every other week.I am then locked back up. Not even a ruined orgasm. I have not been allowed to cum since Sept.9th of this year and it doesn't look like I will be allowed to cum until sometime next year. Probably Valentines day. The other thing my wife/key-holder has discovered is how soft and smooth the skin on my dick has become and she really really loves that.(not sure why) or what the difference really should be. The whole point is, as with my wife and I,he WILL cooperate or one of two things will happen...either he will not be let out.period, and to bad(be careful what you wish for),or we will not lock up again... ever...game over. I would read: Be Careful What You Wish For by Sarah Jameson. She just nails it when it comes to the chastity dynamic of a relationship.
     
  21. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    Leanne, I am assuming that you are the Domme here. Whether he wants to be locked up again is not up to him - orgasm or not. If you are finding this difficult to enforce, after a while in chastity I would advise that you both sit down and agree terms which you both then sign. Feel free to then wave the contract at him when he is being sneaky etc. You are giving him what he wants - always remember that the ultimate sanction is to remove your control completely. On the subject of him not wearing a cage - I suggest buying a glans ring (available on Tickleberry etc) that he can wear when he is not caged just as a symbol of your ownership - that said, my sub hub wears his CB6000 under his suit all the time. The only thing that is noticeable sometimes is the jangling of the padlock which amuses me greatly.
     
    ugams likes this.
  22. northoftheriver
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    northoftheriver Junior Member

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    I've discussed this with my Mistress, and she says '"Of course women look at the bulge, it's what all women do. Just like when guys check out the tits on a chick!"

    Oooerrrr !!!
     
  23. lockednloaded
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    lockednloaded Senior Member

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    This sounds familiar.

    I think all guys in chastity feel the same way and don't really want to be locked straight back up "post orgasm" and want to put it back on when we're ready, but as we all know it doesn't work like that.

    I'm in mine 24/7 and I'm let out when my Wife decides she wants my cock and I guarantee that once I've cum, I won't be over enthusiastic about putting it straight back on.

    However, a few months ago I was a little reluctant to put it back on after we had sex and my Wife made no bones about the fact that if I didn't put it back on it would be going in the bin and that would be the end of that. :confused0068:

    Suffice to say, that it went straight back on. :rolleyes:

    Try that approach?
     
  24. scotty1
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    scotty1 Member

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    No one is going to notice the device, if anything it looks like your hung more. that cant be a bad thing, however if the device is too big for the person it may stick out more than it should. As far as getting him back in. Any problems with not doing what your told to do in a D/S relationship are grounds for punishment and well should be!! Im a sub and i do what she tells me to do or there are consaquences, most of which i dont favor!!! for me that might result in a month added on to my reliese date i shure wouldnt want that. and all play withheld and maybe even gaged and locked to a ring in the floor by the ring on the top of the gag harness over night.i damn shure dont want that..................
     
  25. Jabber43
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    Jabber43 Just Another Member

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    A lot of good advice here, and I think I can add no more. I just want to tell you how I felt the first time I was asked to lock up again immediately after cumming.

    This was the first time I came with a woman who was really interested in keeping me locked up. (I parted with her later, as she wanted to keep me locked all the time, which is not what I want.)

    I had been locked for almost two weeks with no release, and teased a lot. And when I finally came it was with her permission. I felt really grateful.

    But then she told me to lock myself again shortly after I came. It was totally unexpected, and I really did not want to go back in chastity at that time. I was not even allowed to wash myself after cumming. But I had been allowed to wash myself and my CB-6000s just after unlocking.

    I locked myself up again, though I really did not feel like it. But she told me she wanted it and she just gave me a really good orgasm, so I did it.

    Just minutes later I felt good about it. I did what she wanted, and I did not need to cum again. Much better to just please her.
     
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