When do you DISLIKE chastity?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by borbulls1961, Sep 18, 2022.

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  1. captivatedbyher
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    captivatedbyher romantic want to be

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    Sounds like a good time to up the romance, take her on a date, write her daily love notes, clean her bath room, do her laundry. Maybe your romancing her heavily already? If not, then I bet that's the problem
     
  2. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    And it's easier to get through that while being unable to get a boner or sexual release, how?

    But if your keyholder is ignoring you, how is she supporting you through chastity emotionally and physically?

    Precisely.
     
  3. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    Precisely.
    Like I said. ‘You don’t know’. Don’t know what it is to give yourself entirely to another.

    Don’t know what it is to put someone else needs before your own. Ignoring you? It’s not ignoring. It’s living a life more than one kink. It’s being someone that has more than one need.
    You can choose to be egocentric (like you), or put someone else first and assess there situation.
     
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  4. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    Like uh, Stockholm Syndrome?

    She doesn't have to engage with chastity all the time. When she chooses not to, I simply request that she return the key and then we can continue enjoying this strange, yet beautiful "life beyond kink" you speak of.

    I don't look at things in terms of "me first" or "you first", I look at things in terms of "us together".
     
  5. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    That’s exactly it. You think you’re the most intelligent person in any situation.
    You write your thoughts on your own thoughts and put them on public display. Just so we know how intellectual you are…
    Its worthy of ridicule. But no one here would do that. Others would have the insight. The empathy. The compassion. To know when to support. When to give advice. To acknowledge the situation.
    You genuinely are clueless.


    So here you are just taking back your commitment…
    But then here you are saying the ‘right’ thing. Doesn’t match with you opinion though.
    You like this idea that in some way you have all the answers. But it’s blatantly obvious you’d be better off if you accepted that you didn’t.

    The moment you signed onto this site you’ve been playing the victim from some irrelevant ongoings on fetlife.
    For some reason, without ever knowing for yourself in real life, you feel you have the insight to advise anyone.

    Stockholm syndrome? Very clever, but think about it more clearly and you’ll understand how that’s complete bullshit to what we’re talking about.
     
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  6. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    #31 Caro-Kann, Sep 20, 2022
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2022
    Caro-Kann: *shares an opinion
    IB: Ahah! You think you're better than me. I knew it!

    It's called "meta-cognition" and thoughts on something you wrote isn't meta-cognition. That's like taking a piece of art or an essay to your supervisor and sharing your thoughts with them about what you did.

    Lol, it's just a game for me, so yes. I am taking back my "commitment", revoking consent to own a part of my body in a way that could become physically damaging or cause psychological stress while she is not interested in playing the game with me.

    'Us together' seems a better ethical and pragmatic concept than "me first" or "you first", no? This is me claiming to have all the answers? Because I gave a common sense answer? Someone is acting very envious today.

    Actually, I just shared what I thought would be my ideal experience for chastity. I didn't seek to advise anyone but you and Jay decided to create this little back and forth, though I do personally find it all very charming.
     
  7. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    “Suppose concepts are all you’ll ever know.”
    Drops mic.
    “IB-chaste out”
     
  8. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    You're not actually a hip-hop genius, you are aware? I mean, I couldn't really imagine Superman does 8 mile. He must be too exhausted from all that flying and cryptonite. People mistaking him for birds and planes or what not.
     
  9. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    You sound pretty confused and somewhat hostile. I just offered an opinion and all you do is attack people here. You might want to see someone about your anger issues. You sound like I used to be when I was able to have an orgasm whenever I wanted. You might want to try full time chastity, maybe it will help you be less of a douche bag.
     
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  10. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    Idk, being frustrated for the rest of my life would make me pretty angry.
     
  11. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    Surprisingly it has the opposite effect. You are a perfect example of what I used to be. Read back your posts and then tell us who the angry one is here. We all know the answer here,
     
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  12. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    I said I would prefer not to remain in chastity if she doesn't engage. I don't get where all of this anger is you guys say I am supposed to be projecting.
     
  13. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    Can we please stop feeding this troll?
     
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  14. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    Twat and a troll.

    My Partner is going through a real rough patch at the moment...yet I usually get unlocked about once per week...so very lucky compared to most here, its mostly for traditional PIV and she hasnt denied me an orgasm in a long time.

    We had a very long break from chastity although the current stint has been 24/7 since the beginning of this year.

    I hated not being in chastity and all I wanted was to be in chastity and be under her control. And yet when I am in chastity its certainly not a bed of roses all the time.

    When we started again a few months in....she told me she really did not want to have to think about it...(the hard patch started all the way back then) and I had to explain to her...that I was OK with being in chastity even if it was just so I was kept for her when she was ready for normal PIV. And so it has been since, we used to do a lot of activities...I used to get the strapon...bla bla and everything else, but now she doesn't have the mental space for it.

    Sometimes she misses a week....and mentally I find this hard because i am a man of routine, I usually get out once per week on one of two days....and then in the morning I am allowed to stroke while looking at her bottom before I lock back up and she shuts the key safe like clock work...actually she takes great delight in slamming it shut....Apart from that I get whacked with a paddle every now and then.

    The main time i really hate chastity is when its coming up to one of the two evenings when I am possibly allowed out. I even know why, its because I have a expectation...the last few hours before my partner comes over...I literally ache with stress and everything is knotted up my shoulders hurt because they are so tight...

    Its hard to control and I know the feeling is so wrong but I have no control over it....and I hate the feeling, and at that time I really hate chastity. That said I am really getting better than I used to be...after all I am pretty sure if I flip out like have done in the past the cage will be a thing of the past. So I tell myself...I know it will come, that I just have to be patient. You know she loves you and you don't need to be let out for that to be demonstrated. Of course if I was licking her vagina every few days I think I would not suffer from the tension...so in between there is hugs and cuddles but nothing else.

    Sometimes if she is feeling really flat she wont even wack my arse...which is the ONLY thing that works to get rid of the tension other than being let out obviously. Self shoving a dildo up my bum (which is permitted) helps but not a lot.

    But the orgasm when I do get it is almost painful its so powerful.

    Then the watch spring starts again lol.

    As I say I consider myself extremely lucky and I have no right to feel the tension that I do...but we are what we are.
     
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  15. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    I hadn’t considered some of these points before but think you’ve actually got it spot on.
    I really don’t like the times when I know something is going to happen, I always feel a little anxious around it. It’s much easier being content accepting that nothing will happen.
    Yes! After I can actually relax for an evening… but for some inexplicable reason I feel so close to my wife for her doing it.
     
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  16. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    Sorry to say, but I do not see any problem with masturbation when one part has a by far lower sexdrive.

    In your situation though there might be another solution that might help: Try to lower her stresslevel - something you should have done already considdering that you are in a partnership...

    It will not do wonders shortterm, but might have some effect longterm.

    As for when I dislike chastity: There are 2 situations. First is when the cage is hurting and there is no chance to readjust it. Real fun you balls hurting with every move for 30+ min or even longer during a meeting. To ooint out a good thing : It teaches selfcontrol for sure^^

    Second situation is when i would like sex and she does not. That is something though you should expect and know to handle when chastity becomes morebto you than some game during a session.
     
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  17. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    Funny thing, when I don't masturbate and use that excess energy to do things to serve her, care for her, lower her stress level, and make her feel loved, she has a stronger sex drive!
     
  18. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    He sure seems like a troll ...

    But maybe he's just a lost puppy who needs a leash and a loving home. :rolleyes:
     
  19. captivatedbyher
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    captivatedbyher romantic want to be

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    Same with my wife, and it's got me thinking it might be that way by design.
     
  20. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    How is there no vomit emoji?
     
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  21. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    I think you have made your point, now pls let us get on with the discussion.☺
     
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  22. Ilikebond
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    Ilikebond Long term member

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    Going back in the cage after an orgasm. I really dont want to.
     
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  23. captivatedbyher
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    captivatedbyher romantic want to be

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    Its the worst when I start thinking that my wife could step it up, I get mad, disgruntled. It does me no good, in or out of the cage. I have tried being pissy, pressuring her, bartering, nothing worked until I surrendered my hornyness to her. With kindness and servitude I win some of the time.
     
  24. Servus
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    Servus Long term member

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    Well for me the worst times are, when my lady keeps me locked and doesnt want any service. I am completely horny all the time and just want some release by her and be used as her love toy and maybe toilet. But there are weeks she doesnt ask for anything. This is really hard.
    I would then like to take the dicklet out and jerk it or ride a dildo to get some anal fun. But this wouldnt be okay.

    And anothrt poitn is, when I get known to other women and it would be a good fit. This is veryvery bad feeling.
    It rushes down my instincts and makes me feel like a castrated male.
     
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  25. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    when she's ingoring or cant be arsed
     
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