Advice needed

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by JKL, Aug 23, 2022.

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  1. JKL
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    JKL Active member

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    My wife and I have lived in a Femdom relationship for years and used chastity devices off and on for a day or so at a time. My wife has no decided that I should wear it at work (and I have for two days) and now wants me to sleep in it. I’ve a feeling that the latter will be difficult and I keep telling myself that my cage is visible at work. I have a holy trainer 4.0

    I would be most grateful for tips on how to hide it during the day and how to get used to sleeping in it. It’s probably going to do us some good so I’m game to try.
     
  2. Chastebank
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    Unless your wearing Just a speedo to work or running tights the device is not going to be visible.
     
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  3. Chastebank
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    Sleeping with it will be a bit of a challenge especially around 3am to 6 am when your morning wood arrives. If you have sized the holy trainer right I found it is the best night time device. Goodluck and keep a stiff upper lip.
     
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  4. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Just don't wear tight pants to work, lol... You shouldn't have a very large device if you are wearing it "a lot" if you are worried about hiding it... maybe it is too big.
     
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  5. Echo321
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    Echo321 Long term member

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    Sleeping in it just takes time (and a comfortable, well fitting cage). For me it took about a week to get used to it to the point where I could sleep through the night. I’m almost four months into wearing it overnight and while I still get woke up most days around 5/5:30am for my morning salute, I’ve gotten used to that as well.
     
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  6. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    It is quite normal when you first start wearing your cage in public, to be so self conscious and worried that your little secret will be exposed. We've all been there and have found that 1) nobody can notice it unless you are wearing tights, a 2) nobody cares, anyway! Fear of embarrassment and humiliation is a big part of the psychological part of chastity.
     
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  7. JKL
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    Thx
    It is the small one
     
  8. JKL
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    2) nobody cares, anyway! Fear of embarrassment and humiliation is a big part of the psychological part of chastity.[/QUOTE]

    good point
    I’m so happy for all cheers here. It makes me think I can actually make it.
    Since I’m a high school teacher I think I’m more worried but on the other hand, teenagers are very self absorbed
     
  9. DonnaSue
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    You're just concerned about wearing a cage. As a sissy, I go out underdressed in a bra and panties a lot and always worry about someone noticing my bra straps or see thru. I've only been busted once in 6 years and that was playing cards at the Senior Center when one of the ladies stepped behind me to kibitz and laid her hand on my shoulder and I noticed Her feeling the metal clasp on my bra strap adjuster. She said nothing but every time I've seen Her since then, She smiles and winks at me as though we have a personal secret, which we do!
     
  10. JKL
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    Yes, you’re right. Usually, everyone avoids watching someone else’s crutch :)
    I guess I’ll just have to get over the fear and it will go away with time. I’m quite nervous about sleeping in it though as I’m a bad sleeper as it is.
     
  11. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    You’re definitely just being self conscious about it. After a few months you’ll be allowed out without your cage and then you’ll be worried that everyone will be looking at your swinging penis…

    Just try not to drink too much in the evening and when you wake up at 3am just pee the erection away! Sit and read some thing non sexual until you’re feeling more relaxed. Back to sleep you go.
    Sleep cycles only run around 45 mins at a time so as long as you’re not up constantly the disruption will be minimal to how you’re feeling during the day after.
     
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  12. JKL
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    Thank you. Yes, I haven’t even noticed it’s on at work so I think I just need to stop worrying. From your comments, it seems to be common in the beginning (as well as sleep problems).

    From your experience, is it more difficult “starting over” if you get a break for a few days? Im starting to think keeping it on long term might be easier for the body than on four days, off three and then on a few days etc?
     
  13. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    Im not overly experienced at all in truth. I do find it more difficult to be in after a break.
    I’ve not actually had a break for over two months now, and yes it becomes a whole lot easier as time goes on.
    The real problem is that at times it can lose the effect that it initially creates while it’s challenging. After a week if things haven’t been particularly sexual the motivation and closeness dwindle… a good teasing session or watching her orgasm gets it back on track though. Then she’s pushing me away as I want to cuddle the fuck out of her!
     
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  14. JKL
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    I am not sure I’ll miss the orgasms but I anticipate some pain in a few days.
     
  15. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    I can assure you for the next few months or so you will…
     
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  16. JKL
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    is there a good way of lessening the irritation and pain to come?
     
  17. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    I wouldn’t say ‘pain and irritation’ is right. If that’s the case then I wouldn’t be looking forward to it either.
    Maybe pressure on the balls at night…
    If it’s going to be long term I’d suggest at really getting your cage dimensions correct. Make sure it’s small enough to stop erections starting. It just takes trial and error if your not going for a custom build.
     
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  18. Doug Scibor
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    This is the best advice that you'll want to pay careful attention to as you start the process of sleeping through the night in the cage. If there is room to grow, the morning wood (4am for me is the standard) will be pretty uncomfortable.

    It is a miracle cure that when it wakes you up, just urinate to drop your hormone levels enough for things to calm down. I have routinely slept caged and there are still some nights where I have decided to break through the steel bars. A quick bathroom trip lets me get back to sleep pretty quickly.
     
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  19. JKL
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    I’ve got the right size cage (I think), it small enough to prevent it from growing. Thanks for all encouragement, I will feel less concerned wearing at it work and as for sleeping, we’ll, it will probably be a few bumpy weeks but nothing major :)
     
  20. Andy88
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    If your ht4 is small, it wont really be obvious if you are wearing loose pants and if you have some bulge at the waist. But then you mention you are a teacher? Some Students could be very scrutinious if you are very good looking and that may add on to your self consciousness. But mostly wont have any hint of idea what the constant bulge potentially could be. If you can ignore it.. most will ignore too. Nobody likes to be caught staring down at another’s croth.

    Sleeping thru in it will take some time to get accustomed.. most will. The best thing a man can offer his wife is assurance of zero erection until and when she needs it. The sacrifice is worthwhile.
     
  21. Deleted member 96384
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    I wear my Cobra cage most all of the time. Only in punishment am I uncaged. I have come to need it. However here is my question: Has anyone gone to a clothing optional beach/resort and do you wear your cage?
    I am thinking of a tropical getaway with my Dom/wife.
     
  22. Chili-boy
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    No-one will notice trust me, I wore one to work for a few months before moving to metal. They look and fee great, but I need to clean myself once a week, sleeping at night is fine. I got a larger base ring to start and then worked downwards.
     
  23. madams-sissysub
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    I agree with other posters, no one will notice it through normal clothes, and if your still concerned that they can then a good pair of tight fitting briefs will keep it all in place and stop it from moving. You could always choose loose fit trousers or jeans over straight fit. And as for getting used to it you just have to keep wearing it, your body will adjust and adapt to its new restrictions.
     
  24. StubHub
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    You will be fine. It's typical to be subconscious and worried.

    I have started like you and much more. I have gone with much more in public.
     
  25. JKL
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    Thanks everyone! Picking out cloths in the morning still is a bit if a challenge as I still worry but I’m getting there. As for the nights, we haven’t tried that yet but I have been informed that this will commence this weekend. She has decided it will not come off at all until 10/15 once we start.
     
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