I was wondering what we actually call chastity? and even dictionary definitions are unclear to me: “ the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or especially from all, sexual intercourse. " While many of us write/speak/read about refraining or being prevented from sexual activity, our sexual desires, appetite, energy is the underlying force of all this. In some way we permanently elaborate on the frustration that some of us manage to transcend. So should this website not be the “Mansion of the transcended voluntary sexual frustration” rather than the chastity mansion? My point is that I am under the impression that most threads and comments here are actually very sexual, or at least deal with the sexual tension artificially maintained by voluntary (or not) abstinence, whether of orgasms or intercourse? in a context of an heterosexual relationship, this slides automatically in a situation where, as both genders act differently on their orgasms and sexual appetite, the one that is uplifted (female) drives the show as the other one (male) is not as savvy and gets carried by its poorly manage urge. The one that flourishes on multiple orgasms organise the flourishing of the gender benefiting from no orgasm, permanent sexual tension and transcending it? just a thought…
There's lots of different variations. We all approach chastity in our own way. The common denominator is that someone (usually but not always female) is in control of a man's sexual behaviour.
This is a pretty accurate description of chastity from my point of view as a sub. Just change the last "or" to an "and" !
Well in Chapter 6, page 102 of the Chastity Manual it states.... Just kidding. Their are no rules for Chastity. You need to pick what works best for you. Think of it as a buffet. You pick what the two of you want and leave what does not appeal to you. If you want to taste (try) some that looks good go for it. We are all unique individuals, it only makes sense that our style of Chastity be unique as well. Just my 2 cents Iso.
There is no "One Twue Way" for anything. Follow your own fantasy, and don't let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong!
Simple and clear. It is the control of your Dominant partner, she decides when and how you get orgasms or sex. Since you accept that she is the KH of your cage, you are accepting that everything related to sexual pleasure is at her discretion.
For me chastity was handing control of my orgasms to my wife. I explained my fantasies. She had her own perspective. We now live her chastity lifestyle. I am locked up. What she says goes.
Problems will quickly develop if you think you have to adhere to any particular "rules". I might question it being chastity if you self lock and take it off whenever you want and masturbate. I think chastity requires a barrier to masturbation/sex whereas "chaste" is simply a behavior. If you are trying to get a partner involved, I start off simple and she can lock and unlock as she please. From there, you may add on slowly. For instance, you stay locked except when she desires the use of the penis because SHE wants to do it, not to make you quit being a whiney bitch. lol and NEVER let her think you don't desire her. She should have no doubt that you would love nothing more than to sink it deep inside her. As it is, her first question in her head is, "don't you desire having sex with me anymore"?
There is the envisioned fantasy of chastity as each one desires to define it. Then there is Webster's strict definition. When I was an active pilot, I had my envisioned fantasy, if you will, of the liberating pleasure of flying. Then there are the strict procedures and rules for piloting an aircraft. My point being, do you desire to diminish the pleasurable fantasy of your vision by creating a box to contain it? The original post almost seems like a passive-aggressive way of telling me it's not chastity if it isn't the strict definition of chastity. I prefer to think that I have a personal concept of the fantasy of chastity that suits me (and my mate, if one is participating), and for convenience I refer to it as "chastity" because for me that term is arousing and pleasurable, as opposed to "intentional infliction of sexual frustration."
Chasity represents me giving Madame total control of my sexual and life activities to her capable directives.
I agree, and for madam and I it is a way to control and channel sexual desire to keep me submissive and make me a better sub.