How "real" is your chastity?

I love the question. But I may answer with a different perspective.

For me, “real” is more of a mindset of how my spouse and I see one another. I contrast this with “real” translating into locking durations, number of orgasms, etc.

So for her I’m a chaste husband. Period. 100% real. Now, I may be locked every day—or not at all. I may have orgasmed yesterday (either by my hand or hers) or three months ago. The hardware aspect of chastity for me is a very hit and miss proposition.

The “real” part manifests itself in a variety of ways. I’m not allowed intercourse, for example. Not to “deny” me. She just doesn’t consider a chaste penis as something to penetrate her with. Much like you’d not ask a 7 year old to help you make life insurance decisions—it’s just not appropriate for her.

So until we die, I’ll be a chaste husband. Not hardcore. But fully real.

 

Well my Chastity is very real.
I am not locked 24/7/365. For what reason ever.
Sometimes, if I go to sports, I am practicing martial arts and do cycling I am allowed to take the cage off. Or if we go out for camping.
Well I wish somehow it would be like that and my lady would always lock me away, but she doesnt.
Sometimes we forget to put the cage back on, after I was allowed to take it off.
But my chastity also works without the cockcage on at about 90 percent.
I dont get a hard cock anymore without my wife being involved. I treid watching porn and camming which made me horny as hell just two years ago, when we started.
But I dont have interest in these" cheap / not so great " orgasms I could get alone.

With her even edging is better than all masturbation I ever experienced so....
Her ruined orgasms are greater than everything I experienced before and licking her to orgasm is my maingoal.

Her goal with me is to keep me orgasmsfree ( penisstimulated) and lead me to a sissygasm.

So yes chastity, when ever she wants it, not always locked, because she wants it like this.
If she wants to play with my dicklet she decides, if I am allowed to cum or what ever she does. ( the last two days she edged me so hard... She almost milked me out. But she didnt let me cum. )

Today I was again allowed to put my incompetent cock inside her. She really this and the piercing rubbing on her G spot.
But I even didnt manage more than a minute again, so she better placed the small dildo (21 cm x 4) in my mouth and rode my face.

This is one of the critoc points I see on her. If ahe really wants to make me have sissygasms she shouldnt involve my dicklet into play.
Maybe better let me fuck her with a strap on or similar.

It all started with some kinky ideas from me. I once showed her a cockcage I bought and sent her a link about FLR, where chastityplay was mentioned.
What I didnt expected was, that this would lead to an orgasmfre life, almost permanent non penile stimulation, CBT, Pegging and soft sissyfication.

About the sissyfication I am not sure if I want it, but she likes the idea and so do I, because it makes me massively horny and submissive if I even think about her thoughts and ideas.
And as you mentioned I do this not because she forces me to something. Its this fetishbrain inside me, that leads me to surrender myself to her, and makes me do everything she wants from me.

Chastity is the main column of our new normal and our lives are better now since she peggs me, crushes my balls and leads the relationship.

 

Well its v4.0 for my wife and I and this time she has finally clicked. I am 24/7/365 and not allowed out for my pleasure at all. She prefers to tease and gets off on that. I am banned from an erection and we have a Red Chill tease cage to keep aroused but never satisfied. Life could be sweeter for both of us. Not interested in anyone else being involved and we are stronger than ever

 

We're both enjoying it, and it is an everyday thing, so it's as real as eating and sleeping.

 

Very very real. My Queen enjoys seeing me have belted orgasms. She apparently sees no use in needing any time out of the belt. I think she wants me to forget my penis all together. The belt is fool proof. I do get out for dr appointments and a few deep cleanings monthly

 

I'm not locked right now. And I've been more unlocked than locked this year. But I might as well be locked ... the result is the same (zero orgasms unless she wants to give me one, which is actually pretty often compared to most guys here). So I'd have to say "not very real" by that metric. Longest I've gone this year without an orgasm is probably 2 weeks or maybe a bit longer. (I used to keep track, but she didn't like that I kept track, so I don't keep track now.)

On the other hand, I cleaned toilets and did laundry and dishes today, plus working my full time job, while she was out and enjoying whatever she wanted to do. And I'm perfectly happy with that arrangement, and I like her being completely in charge of whatever she chooses to be in charge of, which is sometimes everything and sometimes almost nothing, but it's her completely her choice. And I don't know how long it's been since I last came, and I don't care, because my cock's primary purpose is to help me focus on my primary purpose, which is pleasing her. So I guess it's pretty real by that metric.

And she's happy with me, which is something that I have been able to consistently say since we picked up this lifestyle. And somehow I'm content, which isn't something that I could have ever said before picking up this lifestyle. (She's very vanilla. So the kink aspects just don't excite her at all. But she really does appreciate the results, and she does get a big smile on her face when I lock the cage back on & hand over her the key. And I love that smile.)

 

Ehhhh... sort of real.

On one hand, the "I don't orgasm unless she lets me" is very real. On the same hand, I wear a cage pretty much 24/7. As @JaySaysYes said, "it's an everyday thing".

On the other hand, the amount of teasing is extremely variable and if either of us really ever wanted to stop, we would.

 

For us the realness of chastity fluctuates. We go through periods of being intense with a full FLR and my submission, to periods of being a pretty vanilla couple.

Chastity can vary from locked 24x7 and only allowed out for cleaning to just being locked when she feels like it.

This year I've been locked way more than unlocked, it's only this month we've drifted back into being more vanilla. That is a lot for us, it's normally most the year being vanilla. Having said that I'm locked today, she wants snuggle time and likes it to be clear that snuggling will not lead to sex.

Physical closeness with no sex expectation is probably her favourite thing. She also loves knowing how desperately I want her. I've found I like the increased snuggles too. I also like how intense sex is when I'm allowed. I can't remember the last time I masturbated, it just seems pointless in comparison.

 

My Queen brought this to me as a game, but as soon as I was hooked she revealed that she had no intention of going "back". I was truly hooked and helped her to really make things secure (and asked her to marry me, in a cage).

My answer is "Very Real" but for different reasons than many of you. For instance, I have never vowed my chastity for her. She has even warned me to take advantage of any opportunity I might get. I have vowed to be honest and to tell her if, and how, I could cheat. She wants the joy of forcing me to submit. Somehow this works for us and the better she gets the more hooked I get.

What makes it even more real is that we both know she could not handle giving this up. Sure, I can cut it off, but if I did I might as well bring a hooker home and have my way - the end result will be the same. To me, that makes my chastity very real. She prefers to call it our lifestyle.

 

Well
It's on 24/7

It's never removed

And its actually barely mentioned

I rarely get to cum even in the cage

The frustration is real though
So yes my chastity is very real

 

Very real. Basically a lifestyle where I am locked for long periods (months) without any removal since external cleaning works well. It's how Mistress likes me, she finds my frustration a significant aid to her own libido. She gets all the orgasms and describes them to me in some detail as a form of teasing. She enjoys watching me drip from milking knowing it's the only form of relief for me. So it's real and strict chastity.

 

I'm a toy for my wife. She fucks with my mind all the time. I literally beg her to unlock me but she doesn't. What she wants happens. Period. I struggle with frustration, I day dream about rubbing my cock on her silky soft warm body but I can't. She teases me and laughs. I m a toy for her amusement. She wants me to be serious in life and I'm serious. At night or in morning I'm horny and often hugging her and she smiles with the knowledge that he is bursting in the cage but can't do nothing. I feel like an object for her amusement and I like it. Chastity is basically giving her all the control and it's very real.

 

You are probably going to get a bunch of static about using the term real, I think you explained it very well what you meant in the post though.

Our style is like many here, I’m locked until she unlocks me. That’s it. Not a real complicated system. I don’t think either one of us is into denial, it just kinda works out that way. She unlocks me and I orgasm as many times as she likes…it just so happens that my orgasms are not a priority for her. She still allows them, no rhyme or reason, if she feels like giving me a treat or wants me to cum she lets me. Our intimacy revolves around my attentiveness and her orgasms. I’m the one that wanted her to make the sexual decisions, and those are it.

As far as relationship and chastity stability? She’s had the keys to my device from the second month we were dating, we got married while I was caged, it’s a part of our history and life together. Changing that after 6 years would be like all of a sudden telling her I want to sell the house and live in the woods in a tent. Could we survive as a couple like that? I suppose, but not exactly what either of us signed up for. Would she leave me if I demanded to stop, no, but our relationship would definitely change and who knows what would happen once you change such a major life choice. It would certainly merit a lot of discussion before she just said ok and handed the keys back.

It’s not just chastity either, it’s the attitude, our chemistry, how we react to one another, it could all change without chastity. The chores, the foot rubs, the attentiveness. Plus when would I really know if she wants sex or is just avoiding friction if she’s not sexually in charge anymore. No we are in this for the lang haul.

 

I have a remote KH through ChastiSafe. I know it's not the same as a lot of you guys but... this is a note I recently wrote to my KH which, I think, answers the question for me.

A realisation. I check the web page to see if the latest card freeze has thawed. It has not. My eyes are looking at the screen but my mind is not. Even if the freeze was thawed, even if all the greens were found, even if the combination was known, even if the key safe were open, even if the keys were in my hand, even if the belt was open in pieces on the bed, even if I could touch, even then... I would not. I do not have her permission. The web page, the lock, the cards, the combination, the key safe, the keys, the belt. They are all unimportant. Their only purpose is to act as reminders. I do not have her permission. This fact is my truth.

 

There is no way this question is not "judgy". By asking people to explain how "real" the "game" is, you are implying that there are situations that aren't real. Why not just ask what their dynamic is and leave it at that?

 

I am a semi feminized cuck and before my introduction to a CB had been a knicker or pantie wearer 100% of the time for a year or two, with pink painted toe nails. She wanted this as she said i had a lovely bum in ladies knickers so they are bought and allocated by her . So it was a natural progression for us.

To me it is real too, i used to wear a CB when she was with her lover only, i liked this as it removed any pressure for me to perform and i liked the mental high and stimulation it gave me and still does.

This moved, with my consent to more permanent daily wear, it happened for several reasons non more so than after a drunken fumble with a friends wife in front of him and my wife, where i ended up fucking her.

I am now allocated by my wife my underwear and CB in a morning but the CB is increasingly becoming overnight too. I do still even after all these years struggle to sleep a full night wearing a CB. The choice is hers.

At work or visiting friends or family i wear tighter knickers to keep the bulge down.

When later she bought me tight girlie jeans that posed a problem, shes likes me wearing them which i do 90% of the time, obviously they are not designed to have anything in the front, an added problem being the CBs are locked by real padlocks. So she asked me to buy shorter cock tubes and wear tight knickers with them.

I am happy with all this, away from our sex life, which physcially i no longer play a physical part in i am just a normal vanilla 6ft 4 masculine man in a happy marriage, nobody is aware of our kink or LS............as far as we are aware..

 

Non existence

 

Nowhere near as strict as many of those here apparently. Started as just another sex toy kink 3 years ago, after 28 years of marriage and extremely high sex drive for both of us, we’d tried many other things so why not a cock cage? It just happened to turn out that this fit into our lives very well, and really allowed my Wife’s dominant side to blossom.
I’ve been tracking orgasms and free days since Jan of ‘21 when it became more serious than a week or two on and a week or two off. Up until a few months ago I’d get 3-5 days of freedom every other month or so, and I average about 7-8 orgasms a month at her discretion of course. My Wife still loves piv, so I do get unlocked a couple times a week to pleasure her. I’m currently in my longest orgasm denial at 49 days, with our 31st anniversary trip this weekend. She’s hinted at allowing some form of ruined orgasms and a grand finale of some sort on this trip.
Come September, I believe my cums may be far fewer and longer in between as she has really enjoyed this longer denial. But what is very real to us, is that I’ve truly given up full and total control to my Queen of everything having to do with our sexual lives, so I’m locked and denied or as free as she wants and enjoys. And it’s added an amazing fresh and exciting way of living for both of us even after all these years, and I wouldn’t change a single bit of it!

 

For madam and I it’s part of our lifestyle, we are a bdsm/flr Couple. I’m caged and locked all day every day, I am unlocked for hygiene every 5-7 days as I am uncut. And only allowed a release when my madam sees fit.

 

I don't know how much more "real" it can get for me. My wife had me pierced when we entered this lifestyle to have peace of mind that I would not pull out or cheat. I am locked continuously (176 days today) without a release. She checks her security seal and monitors my showers daily. So she is very strict when it comes to the chastity side of our relationship. Although we live an FLR she is a little more relaxed and more forgiving if I commit a transgression.

 

Our situation is probably similar to your own. Lady C likes and wants to keep me in chastity, or as much as she can. Earlier this year I was unlocked overnight and she announced in the morning "that's going back in that cage, now!". She did not like the feel of my cock in her back. The reasons why I an unsure of. But she's sure that I will remain caged until she wants.

However, its not a 24x7 chastity, sometimes she does like to uncage me for some play. But that is 100% her decision, when and where and I cannot influence her in any way.

A

 

Your situation sounds similar to mine, took Miss a while for the penny to drop, but once she realised the benefits she keeps my cock locked up basically 24/7 . Our sex life is better than ever

 

I want it to be more real than it is but I think my wife is finally starting to see the benefits for her and we’re just starting to discuss the framework of our dynamic. She is a very active business woman and does not want to be distracted or inconvenienced by my kink. However, she has recently taken a liking to back rubs with happy endings for her only. I’m in heaven of course. I’ve been talking to her about the posts here on CM and I explained Loctober to her. She said I will definitely be participating in that this year. Something tells me it’s about to get more real around here.