What are YOU getting out of being caged?

i am not getting out. cos im lockup.

 

You make some really good undeniable points. However....

Without the cage I wouldn't have made it to where I am on this journey. Each to their own. I applaud anyone who can do this without the cage, you are stronger than me. If most men could do this without the world would be a better place, but societal issues throughout the world make that seem unlikely. We are brought up believing we have conjugal rights as men, it takes a big change to break the mould and go against everything you have ever been taught.

 

Being chaste prevents me from wasting energy, thoughts, and emotions that should be used to pursue and romance my wife. Orgasims feel great but mine negatively change how I treat and feel about her.

I, as a chaste man am one who elevates his woman, honors her, and puts her desires above his own.
I, as a chaste man try not to use my wife to satisfy myself but use myself to satisfy her and build her up.
I, as a chaste man am far less likely to lust after other women, but rather my passions are focused on my wife

 

I agree! Sometimes, I start to think selfishly but my chastity reminds me that that is the case and I revert back to your principles and practices!

 

Sometimes it is not what we get out of something but rather what we dont have to deal with. Like resentment! During mastubation we fantasise about activities, then get resentful when our partner does not do what we fantasize they should.

 

What do I expect it was going to be like? I expected that she would keep me locked for a weekend or a week, tease and play with me constantly, then when she was ready for a big go around she would unlock me for mind blowing explosions. I thought the cage would be a tool in a long fore play game with me at the center of it.

What the reality turned out to be (now not the beginning) is that the cage doesn’t come off for any reason other for me to cum. It happens rarely, I lock up right after. The teasing and playing that I thought would be centered on me is now just attention on her. Getting her off, touching her, massaging her, licking and rubbing her feet, those are what I look forward to now instead of me being touched. She now loves that I cum in seconds, because she lets me in her as a gift and not something she wants sexually. She doesn’t hate it, she just can’t feel it so.. “oh good you came already”.

Has it improved my life? I think so. I am focused on her, my responsibilities, my attitude, my actions. It gives me purpose, and and the first honest relationship I’ve ever had. I know that every time it’s played with, cums, or is allowed inside her, it’s because she wants that to happen. No guilt driven obligation that she feels she needs to put up with because it’s what couples do. Even when I know she doesn’t get much from me having she with her, it’s still 100 percent her idea and what she wants. Do I wish she wanted that to happen more? Sure, but I know I don’t have to worry that I’m making her feel like garbage or faking some silly “mmmm yes yes give it to me, oh you’re so big, yes yes (yawn) sorry, yess yess”. That kind of stuff is awful, I can’t even finish if I think she’s doing something she doesn’t actually want.

Do I miss orgasms, erections, freedom, peeing standing up, touching it…sure but it’s still worth it because she is a happy wife, and that makes me happy.

 

What I like about being caged is the contentment and calmness of be controlled.


For a weird analogy: it's like it's heating a pan of water ( with the Lid on of course ) up to a gentle rolling simmer, never boiling over just bubbling away and always hot and steam dripping off the lid. Rather than it being switching the kettle on and it violently coming to the boiling splashing and spitting steam everywhere and it then switching off! and cooling down .

The rolling simmer lasts longer and you can keep it going on and on without it switching off.

 

This thread has been fascinating to read and I am very impressed with the brainpower that has gone into the answers. I have a few points to share from my own contemplation on the subject after reading everything and forcing myself to do some inner reflections. I won't bother copying from the other posts, it would basically be the whole thread.

When I started experimenting with chastity devices I wanted to know what it would feel like to be aroused but not be able to get erect, that was the initilal spark. I had saw cds on a British TV show and was so very curious. The first device I bought was terrible and useless as a daily wear but I enjoyed the sensations. My quest for a gadget that's better had begun.

I am not sure which came first, discovering this site or the chat with my partner, its been a few years and that timeframe is lost, but I do know my attitude towards what chastity could do for me was radically changed with the education I received here and on other sites recommended by members. I quickly realized there could be a lifestyle associated with a cd.

When my partner was presented this information she was quick to respond how much she was not interested in playing along. She also voiced that she does not particually enjoy knowing that I masturbate inbetween sex sessions which was a revelation I had never thought of, I thought itnwas something we both did. In explaining the benefits of being caged and controlled she also said I should be able to be a better partner without a cd, point taken. I decided she was right and put the whole thing to rest for a brief while.

Fast forward a few months and frequent visits to this site I still had an itch that I could not scratch. Onto the cheap devices part of the journey I picked up all kinds of Chinese crap and then stumbled upon Cherry Keeper, and a proper.fitting device was found. OH. MY. GOD!!!! I could wear it for days, and it just kept feeling better, I was hooked.

I have bought now a couple custom cages and another will be purchased soon. I love wearing a cd, I feel naked without one. I take it off for a few days here and there then the little bell in my head starts going off that I want it back on. Like a pair of jeans or a pair of leggings that fit just right it feels great when it first is put on and that ahhhh moment is felt and appreciated. My partner ia supportive of my choice to wear one but as I said, not interested in participation.

I have weaknesses as most people do. I have chocolate every day even though I try to have the willpower to stop. Maybe if the chocolate were locked like my cock with a cd I could stay away but it does not so I indulge. I try to be stronger but fail. When I do not have the constant reminder attached to me I falter, fail and feel bad. I often now will go for a while without the device and then put it on when I feel horny and weak thus using a device to bolster my resolve to follow my own decree.

I enjoy so much this journey. To this day I still get excited each time I lock the cd on myself and have to settle down before I can get the cage fully locked on, 4 ish years aftet my first attempt to wrestle it upon my swollen member. I have decided I am going to try to take my device off only for bike rides and an upcoming half marathon. I just finished a 10k run wearing my cd and it feels awesome to have completed that goal of running while locked.

The self exploration that is a self imposed chasity lifestyle continues to show me new and exciting avenues of adventure.

 

beautifully said

really, really, really well said
This is a great thread!
Lots of great responses

 

I have been there.
I’ve never realized it but this is 100% true for me.
I bet for a lot of others too

 

We have done it in baby steps, which perhaps has made it easier. Though now increasing durations between my orgasm releases and exploring how that feels/works for us. I feel like I am a mere pup on this journey and we'll see how I do as things ratchet up.

I have experienced for myself two mindsets that have differing results:

1) Choosing to control myself, not orgasm and, despite what can be insane amounts of teasing, say when to stop when I get too close, keep control and manage my energy.

2) Getting to the point where nothing matters but orgasm. And a cage won't change that, just make it harder and the resulting orgasm less than satisfying.

In our agreement and current dynamic, I have upheld #1 consistently. I can't imagine not. One, I want it, and two, I've committed to it. And, I have a strong feeling she would be able to tell if I had an orgasm. She is very attuned to anything that is off, especially self pleasure malfeasance.

I completely agree with what you say about the society's beliefs and teachings we grew up in, and what we assume to be ours and, frankly are taught that is the way it is. But yeah, there is so much more, so much better and balanced life to having more equity and interconnection between the masculine and feminine. The default narrative in our society so misses the point and barely scratches the surface of the wonders that lie beyond. Yep, going against everything we have been taught.

It's a fun journey! Cheers!

 

You have an interesting view of things. Different but not dissimilar to my own.
Two follow up questions

Over what period of time did you change things "baby steps"?
Were you a chronic masterbater before you started on your journey?

 

#1, as you suggested, is insanely difficult. I've experienced it once recently where she left me uncaged for a night after a release and couldn't wait to get back in the cage.

#2 I feel that frequently after a cuddle and tease session with my wife. If it weren't for the cage, I would have pressed hard for an orgasm. It feels like it's only the cage that holds me back. Any stimulation to my penis head during a tease session would bring me to the edge and I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I may be misunderstanding your meaning.

 

I’m pleasing my wife, and making her happy!

 

Over the course of this year. Exploring together and slowly learning and adding more to our toolbox. Periods of a few days of denial, a week, two weeks, shooting for a month.

I'll elaborate one further. I'd call myself a "Pro", yes.

And largely fall into the category of guys described in "No More Mr. Nice Guy", growing up in the 70s and 80s, limited sex education other than that among 'the guys', exposure to porn and the idea of using sex as a weapon to 'conquer'. All of that mindset and not really understanding other, deeper ways of looking at emotional connection and sexual intimacy. I think 'chronic masturbator' describes the, call it addiction/compulsion aspect of it (for pleasure, de-stress, deal with anxiety, etc), but that fits into a broader cultural context. Which is why I explore this. I think a deeper theme on this site, which is fantastic and I've learned so much, is that cultural part, and what we all learned (men and women) about our own sexuality, how to express it, and how screwed up and limiting that thinking is. Versus what the underlying dynamic being achieved by the chastity lifestyle is addressing and helping us re-learn things about ourselves and our relationships.