No cage (or mental chastity)

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by acronymboy123, Aug 20, 2022.

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  1. acronymboy123
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    acronymboy123 A submissive learning what that truly means.

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    I have four chastity cages: a little metal nub one that is really tough to get on, a pink plastic one that requires a regular lock, a clear plastic one with a side lock built into it and a Cellmate (one of those cages controlled electronically by a phone app).

    I've never found much desire in locking myself up. It always seemed too easy to just unlock it and be done with it when the urge struck. It's not enforced that way and therefore, teaches no lesson.

    Back in June (on June 9th to be exact), I decided to challenge myself with something different. Instead of locking myself up in a cage and trying to keep it on, I instead aimed to eliminate the orgasm altogether, the thing that a chastity cage hinders the ability to do.

    I wanted to see how long I could go without cumming. I edged and edged and edged daily, watching every conceivable kind of porn I could find that detailed male submission and also humiliation. And from this, I have discovered how appealing the hotwife thing is. The only problem is: I'm not married. LOL But the hotwife concept is still arousing.

    I wondered if I could beat my record of 17 days in a chastity cage. And I found out that I could.

    At the time that I type this out to you, I am currently entering ... are you ready for this ... my 72nd day of being orgasm free with no assistance from a chastity cage. My goal is to get to 100 days.

    And there are a few things I have learned along the way. (These are not discoveries of fact. Rather, they are discoveries of self and thusly, may not apply to or be helpful for everyone.)

    For those who are doing some form of self-chastity who are bummed out that they have no one to hold their keys:
    1. Take this time to keep improving you. Remember the lesson of this sacrifice.
    2. Have a goal in mind when you are locked up. A specific time goal. And as you near closer and closer to that goal, re-evaluate and set a new time goal that is further out. By giving yourself a chance to think about it, you will have the ability to go longer than you could have imagined.
    3. Have someone to talk with about it, a friend online, a trusted friend in real life who is knowing, whomever. No, you don't want to talk about your chastity all the time with them. But ask them if they would occasionally be a sounding board for you. It has been beneficial for me to have had several people I could message with about this. And some were so devilish as to tease me about it. (I am very grateful to them as humiliation is a wonderful thing to me.)
    4. Constantly reflect on the accomplishments you have achieved already, particularly how long you have held out. And when single days turn into weeks and months, you will feel a pride of self that may not have been there before. You will have proven that you are stronger than you believed.

    And lastly ...
    5. Remember how good that pride of self felt. It will be something you will take into any future relationship.



    By typing this posting, I am not trying to present myself as a success story. I'm quite the opposite. I would much rather be in a chastity cage with the keys being held by a woman who teases me and denies me even the privilege of edging.

    But from this ongoing experiment, I have learned that absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder. It also helps to refocus priorities. And how absolutely important is that, when meeting someone who could be the missing piece of the puzzle? Wouldn't you want to have learned all the right lesson when you meet that person?

    With hope, you are the missing piece of that person's puzzle too.

    Best wishes.
     
  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Good post, and good luck with your aim of getting to 100 days. Like you, I prefer the honour system.
     
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  3. Chaste Bear
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    Chaste Bear Long term member

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    You must have god tier willpower to do that. I'd be wanking myself to oblivion in no time.
     
  4. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    You have successfully altered your state of mind that the mind no longer sends sexual stimuli of respond to any bodily member upon receipt of an external trigger..
    this takes years of monk-like nirvana state training! And you have done it in a matter of weeks.. there was also a record of gandhi resisting sexual stimulation even when surrounded by women.. and now the little chastity cage can assist in performing such task of mental elevation… this is a great discovery of modern mankind.
     
  5. acronymboy123
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    acronymboy123 A submissive learning what that truly means.

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    Don't misunderstand me, here. I am edging constantly. I just simply stop before the orgasm happens.
     
  6. acronymboy123
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    acronymboy123 A submissive learning what that truly means.

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    If this is true, I do hope and pray that my mind regresses back to its former state on the 100th day!
     
  7. acronymboy123
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    acronymboy123 A submissive learning what that truly means.

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    Honesty is a virtue.
     
  8. knightly
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    knightly Long term member

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    I listened to an episode of "Obedient Love' podcast recently where she talks about demanding any sub do chastity without a cage before being allowed to have one. To show the conviction and restraint to do the abstinence without one, so it's not a crutch or done as merely a fetish.

    I agree with everything you're saying. I'm in the same boat in that we've been doing essentially chastity without a cage. Lots of T&D mixed in, orgasm denial, she is in control.

    "It always seemed too easy to just unlock it and be done with it when the urge struck. It's not enforced that way and therefore, teaches no lesson."

    Good point. And your 5 points are spot on. Use this as a time of personal growth and learning some life lessons. It's so true.

    I haven't gone as long as 100 days, in fact just starting our first stint of a month. I'd love to try a cage some day to compare, but honestly think without may be a really strong way to start into it, for all the reasons you describe.

    Thanks for the post, cheers!
     
  9. madams-sissysub
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    I have great admiration for any one that can do the honour method, there is no way I would last! But for my madam the cage is a integral part of it, she loves that my penis is locked, restricted, and being punished for every erection. She takes pleasure in knowing I am in 24/7 bondage for her and adores all the challenges causes for me.
    And I love the feeling of being caged for her, a constant embrace from her, forever being held by her!
     
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  10. knightly
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    knightly Long term member

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    I wonder about the exact opposite. To your point, I would think the cage would make the constant reminder and embracing feeling maddeningly erotic. And makes the control/restriction that much more front of mind (which sounds like delicious fun).

    Plus, how much is mind over matter important in a cage, too? It sounds like a cage doesn't solve everything, there is still mental control required.
     
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  11. mr_newbie
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    mr_newbie Long term member

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    Fair play, that is some good willpower right there.

    I don't think I'm capable of mental chastity.
    The cage serves as a reminder that it's not mine anymore. Even with a relatively insecure cage the cage does it's job and keeps me away.
    Without a cage I can't help myself.
     
  12. Cincy
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    Cincy Long term member

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    Same here.
     
  13. Doug Scibor
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    Doug Scibor Long term member

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    I could handle the honor system for a while but there will eventually be that day when life stress gets too high, my wife loses focus on teasing for a few weeks or there is a banner ad for those shiny leggings.

    While I am not a feral animal, I can rationalize my way to masturbation in less than 60 seconds.
     
  14. shannonsanders
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    shannonsanders Long term member

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    I like the idea of cages in theory, but in reality, they have all kinds of limitations. Many are more difficult to put on than take off. I really, really love erotic tease and denial, so wearing a cage doesn’t make a big difference in my own headspace (usually).

    I am getting close to about 7 weeks of strict denial, and none of it has involved a cage this time. It’s been all mental.
     
  15. shannonsanders
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    shannonsanders Long term member

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    One of my most intense orgasms ever was wearing a cage, and my wife gave me a powerful orgasm using tantric techniques.

    A cage sometimes yields unintended results for me.
     
  16. Andy88
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    Neither am i able to be orgasm free without the cage on.. i dread returning to my earlier years of caressing the dick every 30mins.. something thugging on the penis is a constant reminder that there are better things to do in life than living in guilt and self blame.
     
  17. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    nar I am terrible, if my partner and I have a little bit of bad time, ill relieve myself if I can. Even if its just by using her wand if i happen to have access to it.

    No cage and I wake up with a hard one, if my partner is there or not ill have one on the sly.

    Most I have gone without a cage is about ermmm 3 days i think, I need the deterrent, I find it too stressful trying not to masturbate
     
  18. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    No cage or the honour system really does work for some

    We however prefer the kick we both get from the fact that I can't get out of our cage without her permission without using tools that would wreck the cage and let her know that I had let myself out

    To be fair the disappointment she would potentially feel is also sufficient motivation for me to not breech that trust, as would be the risk that she may not want to continue being my KH should I do such a thing
     
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  19. acronymboy123
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    acronymboy123 A submissive learning what that truly means.

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    I've reached the 80 day mark. Only 20 to go. But I've developed a leaking problem. It only happens at certain times. All is well, though. I have found a band-aid for the problem.

    Come on, September 17th! Hurry up and get here!
     
  20. Lockhappy
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    When I was between wives for about 5 years, my fantasies about submission revolved around becoming aroused and fully erect, then either being told not to touch or to go only to the edge. I couldn't imagine anything erotic about having "it" locked away without any chance to touch at all. My erotic fantasies revolved around being so aroused that I was constantly dripping but was never allowed over the edge.

    At the encouragement of a dominant lady I had a few chats with online, I bought a CB6000S. At first I still didn't get it. But after some scenarios this woman shared which she claimed were extremely erotic to her, my interest in cages grew.

    Fast forward to now. I don't wear a cage to prevent serial masturbation. If I didn't wear the cage, I would tease my cock daily but not necessarily climax. But I find it highly erotic that my wife knows that I have not even had a full erection without her full knowledge. (Yes, I could conceivably pull out for a wank, but that's just not what I'm interested in. So that's MY honor system.).

    My fetish desire is permanent denial. So every time I see my locked cock in the mirror, it turns me on so much, knowing that I have not even felt the stroke of my own hand for days, weeks or months. My current longest stretch without any orgasm is 9 months. So for me, the cage is not about prevention. It is woven into all of the eroticism associated with denial (and teasing if you're fortunate, as I am, to have a partner who accepts your fetish). It is a symbol that arouses me nearly as much as the sight of my nude wife aching for her orgasm while I am denied!
     
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  21. acronymboy123
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    acronymboy123 A submissive learning what that truly means.

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    Nine months? I admire you.
     
  22. LulledIntoSubmission
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    LulledIntoSubmission Active member

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    Yeah, me too, no doubt about it :).
     
  23. acronymboy123
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    acronymboy123 A submissive learning what that truly means.

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    88 days in. 12 to go. And when I finally release, I will be wearing clear plastic. The attached picture is obviously from behind. The front view picture is a bit more provocative. LOL
     

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  24. Guy7
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    Im currently practicing being chased and not locked. Aug 1 was my last cum, that makes 36 days and counting. Every passing day is a new record for me. My previous record was 3 weeks. Ive had a handful of days that was a struggle. Its gotten much easier. I dont edge, if i truely want to stay cum free. Edging wont work for me. I do play with is to get it hard. I dont jack it. This has taken me years of failures off n on locked. Im sure im finally on track. I dont have a set date to cum again. But i do want to go a minimum 100 days.
     
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  25. acronymboy123
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    acronymboy123 A submissive learning what that truly means.

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    I decided to keep going. Today is day #126.
     
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