Trying chastity play was fantasy and play I wanted to test out for a long while and my wife has always been curious to try new games. In May we finally tested it from few days to two weeks. It was fun, she enjoyed the dynamics and attention, but we stopped as the device was not reliable. She bought a better one but it came with sharp edges and was soon decided not useful till those get filed. now we have moved cities and have a new kid and I'm been rather upset about it and have not been attending the family and relationship at best. Today she told that she has been thinking about getting me caged again to fix it and for me to know my place. She was never really that dominant before but that previous test really brought out that side of her and she loved it. Right now I'm conflicted - the decision to move to a small town near her parents was ultimately hers and major FLR-move. It was a turn on as fantasy, but now I'm conflicted, wanting to escape to move to live on my own or somesuch, and getting caged again would make me to settle here and accept my position as one who follows the decisions of the breadwinner of the family. I know it will feel good then, but I dread of giving up
First, welcome to CM, we are happy to have you here! But most importantly, your marriage comes first before chastity & how deep of a FLR you both live. This only works with massive amounts of communication, honesty, and trust from your partner on both ends. Reach out if you need someone to talk to, even if it is just someone to listen.
Thank you all for the welcome. No worries, our marriage works well and we communicate. It is just my uncertainity and internal conflict towards trying and testing waters with more chastity play and flr- dynamics. I'm happy that she is into it, and the subspace can be wondeful, but at the same time, well, life with small kids, having time for adult play is rare and i do not know how it would fit the rest of the family dynamics. Fun story about the previous, hastlly bought device we tried. It was a flexible rubber sheet, and a decently big one on that. Nevermind not being that good for it's function, it did push a good bulge under the jeans. And it was not left unnoticed - days doing my business around the city, I started to clearly see happily smiling woken around me - like for no reason at all. Got clearly checked out and feel the experience that builds up big dick energy. Positive experience - and had they known real the reason for it but yeah, came to conclusion that were there more playing with this kink, i rather go for the happy bulge under jeans than the tiny ones.
You've done 2 weeks. Agree to a time frame (maybe 4 weeks) and see how it feels without a huge commitment. Just make sure that cage fits OK.
If she is already willing to take the lead and the leash, by all means follow her.. she seems to be a tough woman taking charge moving back into her familiar territories and you have settled well enough in the new environment with a new penis lock.. kids growing up in an flr environment is the best upbringing than having to put up with some smoky drunky character who is throwing his weight and swaying his penis around.. you have a wonderful wife.. and she is a keeper.
I think chastity can fix a of things sexually. Can help in a relationship. Many ways it can be beneficial… I’m not convinced it can however fix this. Personally, I’d worry it would make you resentful used in this way. I have social anxiety when it comes to large groups of new people. My wife tried using the chastity cage as a way to make me conform in a situation as such.. it all blew up. she got angry with me. We probably have been as distant in our relationship as ever. Being locked up did help us get over this quicker and become closer again. Eventually, we talked about why it went wrong and in the next situation as such we approached it in a very different way. She was far more caring and understanding. So realistically I don’t see being caged as an answer to this scenario. Obviously, let her lock you up, it will probably help you discuss why you’ve become more distant and how you’re currently feeling. There may be a suitable compromise that doesn’t make you feel the need to escape. P.s welcome to the mansion.
Welcome here! I thing we have all been fighting (at least I have been) with overlapping the fantasy of chastity with reality. I experienced) an inner conflict between « Do I really want that » and « I really want that because it makes me a better man and better partner, beside the kink », Even more so when doubt, hesitations, or clouds occur in wearing the cage or in the relationship. In such cases, I take great comfort in encouraging, decisive loving confirmation words of my Lady Partner which boost me to bridge moment of doubts… hence communication is key!
You feel as if you've given up a lot already to make this relationship a success, but it seems that you may now have very willing child minders not too far away. Young children are always a test for any relationship, but they grow up fast. Before you know it, they'll be off to university. With young kids as a priority distraction, it would be easy for your wife to simply lock you and forget about doing anything else. If she locks you, does lots of teasing and is dominant but playful, it could all work very well. 1. Lock and forget = resentful frustration. 2. Lock and tease = fun and frustration. There is a big difference between those two. You need to negotiate a happy medium and make sure that she understands that No.2 is important for you and for a successful FLR. Good luck.
If communication is up and running, then why not do a test run for a couple weeks? What harm can it do? I'd maybe make 2 requests: that she at least once a day affirm that you are locked, either vocally or by a grab, so you don't feel 'forgotten'. The second request is that once a week you two have a scheduled discussion about your mutual feelings about FLR and chastity. And 100% non-judgmental honesty must be the rule at that meeting. BTW, I was in the same position as you, brought up socially and programmed to be the alpha male in the family, and it took quite a lot of work to accept a position as a submissive male to a Dominant Wife. It was not easy. And while everyone is born different, in my case I found my true place in life and I am happier than I ever was before. Who knows what the future might bring?
Thank you all for the warm welcome and considerate answers. and, well, here we go again. The other night when we were having sex it was obvious that my wife missed having me locked up. I had fired the sharp corners of the new cage while back and today decided to surprise her by locking myself up and giving her the keys. She's been radiant ever since I got a good dive to the intimate subspace. She's been now teasing of things finally getting back to normal and that maybe she'll let me out i did mention locktober bit hesitantly as possible goal and as a good motivator for me to drop cigs and drinking for a month or so and we talked about how to approach this in cases of relapsing. Could work, could get too much, previously we did two weeks, at least the cage seems comfortable for now. and the delicious danger of this play: when I today licked her and orgasm and asked about what she was thinking, her response was about all the attention I'll be giving her on coming week, how I will be constantly thihking of her, how I'll be reminded of it all the time by the cage and how powerful and horny this makes her feel. <3 sounds like this will be a fun ride again
Well, locktober and all, gonna take it up a notch and test some more firman FLR-settings. As in, for this month, I'll transfer my income to her and must ask for allowance for whatever expenses I have and show receits. There is purpose on this: can't relapse to smoking and drinking if I can't buy them and that is all fine - I do enjoy those withdrawals, but cutting out energy drinks and sweets to be replaced with Apples and fruits, that is really pushing it
Yeah. Our newborn is some three months old now. Right now we're in a phase where the mother is eager to pump milk to bottles so she can have more time for herself while I stay at home and can feed the baby.
Keep in mind that when a woman is nursing, her prolactin levels are sky high which seriously lowers libido. High prolactin levels in men can be like getting castrated so is rather powerful. If you want to see how it feels, take 1,000mg of cimetidine a day and you will be impotent in about 3-4 weeks.
Luckily that ain't an issue with us. Sure she is overall bit less now energetic than usual, seems to always happen around this time after pregnancy, but I consider us doing pretty fine. We've been together for almost 20 years, both over 40 and there three kids, and we still fuck almost weekly - Sometimes more, sometimes less, but mutual passion persists. For her, seems that it takes about one month after birth that she starts to wonder whether all is already healed up enough and then one more to her to consider it safe enough, just in case ❤️ Something something bloodline of damn easy births. Though, oh to be back to twenties when it was several times per day - but maybe I can live just all fine accetping having grown middle-aged; it ain't bad at all.