Helping a busy woman become more dominant.

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Landyladvein, Jul 13, 2022.

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  1. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Or showing her how devoted I am to her maybe worded abit better than the title.

    Hello. Not sure if this is the right section. We're not that hardcore. Tho I do wonder sometimes when I read some posts. We are a team that love each other and pretty much Inseparable. I'm always in chastity unless it's for sex or whatever she's got in mind.

    Just wondering if I can do anything to help her be more dominant when she's busy? She's a busy lady my wife.

    Any rituals or anything I can do to show her she's in charge? Or to help. For example something in the morning or at bed time?

    I usually massage her and her feet. Either requested or I offer. Try to get her knickers and socks out in the mornings. I do alot around the house. Get her drinks ready for the day and make a start on her breakfast. She likes to do alot herself so I just assist and help her catch up when she can't. Usually do all of the house work. Tho she likes to do bits and for us to do bits together.

    Thanks

    LLV
     
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  2. CuriousAndy
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    CuriousAndy Long term member

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    It sounds like your doing a great job! We are very much the same, we do everything you mentioned, my Goddess loves foot massage.

    One additional thing we do is in the morning when she exits the shower I kneel naked and kiss each foot once, then her mound once and say good morning. Often that's followed by a hug with me on my knees. The foot kissing ritual was suggested by someone at this site, great idea.

    One other thing, we agreed to be in a Female Led Relationship. As a dominant person she likes knowing that she has the final say in all things, though it's not a power she exercises often.
     
  3. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Oh that's a great idea to kiss her feet. Love that idea. Like the idea to kneel before her aswell. Do at times. I just need to do it without feeling awkward. Which I probably wouldn't at the time.
     
  4. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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  5. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    Im almost a full time husband, albeit some little engineering design work which i entirely WFH… my wife on the other hand drives out to work, attends meetings, have late assignments and sometimes travels interstate for a weekend seminar.. she is a super busy woman. A busy woman is assertive, no nonsense, no second reply. One is one, two is two; goes our local saying.
    She would be lying on the sofa /bed with her tablet in hand and some documents.. i would be kneeling down massaging her tired thighs.. i sweat that the blo…dy tablet will be put away and the docs strewn over the floor once i pull her panties down and if she is not resisting, begin licking her pussy… which women wouldnt be dominant if her slave men behave this way..
    ok, if she is not in the mood, her legs will kick my shoulders away.. i retreat, your highness.
     
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  6. squier
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    squier Junior Member

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    What worked best for us was that I introduced many things without asking her. Things, she actually should have introduced without being asked.
    When she saw the benefits, she liked it and from then on she saw it as a downside if it didn't happen like that anymore. What happens when you take something away from someone? He will fight back, will be dominant to make sure status qou is maintained. Or even want to expand it.
    So the secret is to give someone something they don't want to take away from them.

    For example the finances. I always started asking her for pocket money without being asked when my money was gone. No weekly or monthly automatism! Always ask, every time. It wasn't long then she asked why I needed money again.
    She didn't like all my answers! Already her hunting instinct was awakened.
    I ended up having to show her what I was spending the money on whenever I asked for pocket money again. I also have to present and explain the credit card statement.
    Asking for pocket money is now a kind of interrogation. I have to think carefully about when I ask and how I sell her my answers. She questions everything and never lets up. Scolding and even punishment is not uncommon then. And sometimes no money for me. None of this is possible without plenty of dominance.
     
  7. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Thanks sounds a very similar setup. Shes out all day at a very stressful job. Drives 2-3 hours a day. I'm based from home and pretty much the house husband as well.

    Think we're more on the way than we think to a flr.
     
  8. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Oo that sounds interesting. Thanks.

    Wouldn't work like that with the money for us. She's the main earner and my money goes towards the mortgage and things that are needed. She buys everything else.

    Just trying to think of other things. Wonder if I can get her to pick out what clothes I wear at weekends and when we go out and things. She would love that.

    Any other ideas along those lines?
     
  9. squier
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    squier Junior Member

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    The money was just for example. To explain the mechanic.
    If she may like to dictate your clothing, fine! Try it!

    I think it will work with everything what does not take too much time to do or to be discussed.
    The main goal is to place little, repeating scenes she likes to solve the dominant way without being bored or getting annoyed. This must not take up too much of her valuable time and must make sense for her.
    Usually it ensures that a certain dominant attitude becomes established. Once she discovers the efficient and effective side of dominance, it spreads by itself into everyday life.
    Busy women mostly think about efficiency and effectiveness.

    Good luck and keep us informed :)
     
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  10. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    I will do thanks. She's got the dominance streak in her. Just need to help her with her confidence and that it's a good thing for us. She's excited for a book iv ordered for her. That's if it ever arrives anyway.

    Will keep the thread updated.
     
  11. winstonmacgregor
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    winstonmacgregor Long term member

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    That is it right there. Driving 2-3 hours a day will drain anybody. Finding a way to eliminate that will open doors for you.
     
  12. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    NO!!!

    Just serve her. Let her pick up her dominance as it suits her, and as she decides to!

    You, on the other hand, can spend a little time every day answering this question: What could I do for her today that she is not expecting, that will bring a smile to her face, and make her feel loved and appreciated.

    Just do that one thing. Keep a list of ideas on your phone or in your wallet.

    And try to do one, every day.
     
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  13. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Not an option at the moment. We're trying for a family. Tho we are planning on starting our own business in the future. Which will be from home. Lots of exciting things hopefully coming our way way.
     
  14. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Really badly worded and said on my part. She's very dominant. We're further along the female led marriage then I think. We had a little conversation last night about doing more together. Basically iv been bitch from the start. Good idea tho. Will follow it through.

    Thanks guys.
     
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  15. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Think I'm in trouble now. She looked at my phone where I write things down to talk about. She's really excited and enthusiastic about it. We're pretty much a female led relationship anyway. It's all very exciting. She's really happy I feel the way I do. As she's always been try to up the dominantion. Iv just gotten scared at times. So we're going to work through it.
     
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  16. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    Whatever she might say…Just nod your head.. say yes.. and smile… (repeat).
     
  17. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Thanks she's got me well trained anyway. It's what we've both wanted but never really spoken about it. Chastity was the big starting point that helped her decide and come out to the idea.
     
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  18. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Sometimes, it just takes time. It sounds like you are both progressing nicely. One thing you can do, or continue to do, is acknowledge in a positive way, when she does exert her dominance. Be sincere and don’t overdo it. This is far more effective than pointing out what she can do better.

    In time, she will grow her confidence. Remember she is likely unlearning all that she was taught and observed as proper female behavior while growing up.
     
  19. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Hi guys. Just a little update on this. Friday evening we had a long conversation. She also looked through the notes on my phone. (I struggle to get my words out sometimes) Basically throughout our relationship iv been trying to hide my submissive side from her. She's also been trying to hide her dominant side from me. We're both alot happier now things are out in the open. She doesn't find any of the things I think or feel are strange aswell. Here was me thinking I'm some sort of freak.

    Iv been feeling alot more relaxed and generally happier. Feel like I dont need to fight with what she wants and can just go along with it. Knowing she is not going to think less of me and thinking I'm less manly. In reality she thinks alot more of myself now iv opened up with her. She's all over me all of the time now. Telling me how much she loves me.

    Still a happy medium with what jobs we do around the house. Mainly cause I do most things anyway as she works full time.

    Things are going along really nicely. Not that they wernt before tho. Feels like we both have some positive changes from our conversation.

    Will keep you all updated.
     
  20. WhiteKnight
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    I'm almost surprised I haven't seen this in the thread, but have asked / offered if you can provide her with 'lip service' first thing in the morning, last thing at night or better still both ?
    She certainly doesn't 'ask' and you don't 'offer' - just do unless instructed not to. In my experience most women find it a wonderful experience to be woken by a tongue bathing their clit.
     
  21. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    Oo not sure about in the morning. She's not a morning person. Normally we cuddle all night. Could give it ago at night tho.
     
  22. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    We hit the 300 day mark over the weekend for the chastity side of things. Only being released when she wants sex. Had one wank in those 300 days aswell which she really regretted me having afterwards. She thought she would of enjoyed seeing it.

    Was released for dirty weekend away and was made to lock back up in the asda toilets on the way home.

    Flr side is still about the same for us. Tho its working well.
     
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  23. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    Congrats on 300 days! Great milestone!

    During that time, how many full orgasms have you had? And how about her? Estimate if you have to.
     
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  24. Landyladvein
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    Landyladvein Active member

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    On average 1 a week for myself.
    For her 2-3.
     
  25. Tracker1
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    Tracker1 Active member

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    I have referred to these elsewhere but this text seems appropriate.

    Two that work for us are: 1) date night and 2) weekly menu.

    1) once or twice a month we have date night. This always reflects an event that I know she will like -- an event that reflects her interests and not (necessarily) mine! I spend a fair amount of time checking out what is happening in our city -- with art, music, lectures, movies, plays, restaurants and other events. When I run across something I know she will like (and that is different from anything we have done recently), I ask her about dates and then set up a date night. I started off offering her choices, but it seems to work better for her -- for one thing, it saves her time -- if I take full responsibility for the experience. Plus it seems to be a bit more exciting knowing that something special is going to happen without knowing exactly what. But your mileage might differ.

    2) For example, every weekend I put together menus with two choices for each dinner in the next week
    (I of course do all the cooking and shopping), and she checks off what we will have. It is understood that her choices reflect her preferences (indeed, everything on both menus do that). The only time I get to eat steak now is when she is out of the house.
     
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