Ok so where do I start? I guess my departure. I left at a time in my life where there was a ton to sort out. Marriage was shakey, business was in trouble, and my personal identity had all but collapsed. I realized the chaste lifestyle, while certainly a hot fantasy was not the lifestyle we could live, at least not the way we tried it. I had just taken a job at my church part time and my faith was telling me I needed to get out of here because of the problems it was causing at home. You see "they" whoever they are say this lifestyle will help keep you in line, keep you from looking at porn, keep you faithful to your wife, and on and on and on. Problem for me was none of that was true. I was using this site to help find other sites on so on to fuel this fantasy. I was using these sites to replace the wife I had at home with some hot fantasy that I wanted her to represent and thus I was losing myself, my identity, and my marriage. I took a long time off obviously and am still in the process of making some things right. Some things will never quite be all the way there I am sure but they are what they are and luckily I have a forgiving wife and God. Now this time off did lead to some amazing realizations. First my wife does get turned on by the chastity thing. Chastity being me locked up, her holding the key, and her having the ability to torment the heck out of me when she wants. Thats it, nothing else. No feminizations stuff, no cucking, no other woman, none of that stuff. It is not who we would be without the belt so why be it with the belt. The other problem was the addiction to porn. Lets call it what it is. Whether it was working at the church, or just being in the right place at the right time, I found and met others whose marriages were falling apart due to a billion dollar industry. No, don't worry I am not going to start preaching, but let me just say the minute I made my wife my fantasy and got rid of the other stuff, I found something that had been there all along. Now I get to have my cake and eat it too. Funny how that worked out. At any rate there is so much more that happened to me, especially the transformation of who I have become as a result of some amazing "chance" encounters that were ordained from God for sure. I have met and become friends to so many people over the last few months that my social network has grown exponentially. So...some would ask why did I stop in, and why all this? Great question. I wish I could give you amazing story but the fact is I can't. You all are some friends I missed and perhaps if I can help anyone with some of the areas I mentioned above then great. There comes great freedom in finding yourself, rebuilding your marriage, and strengthening your relationship with God. For some, the later is not your belief and that is ok. I would never judge you for it nor would I expect it in return. But know that it is because of that relationship that I now have my marriage back, and this is a gift far greater than I could have hoped. Now as far as this belt, well after selling every device we owned, I bought a CB6000 Chrome because it was versatile, looked like steel and was cheap compared to the real deal. I tried it on and of course showed my wife who just smiled and said leave it a couple of days let see how it I like it then. Of course i chuckled and thought nothing of it. The funny thing about transformation is when you are not constantly looking at porn and chasing these crazy fantasies in your head, you can actually wear these things a while before you really feel the need to get out. Of course for me this was about a week when I finally said "hey excuse me? did you forget soemthing" A simple laugh was all I got and we had some hot love making after she let me out. However we realized then and there you could have fun with this lifestyle as long as you keep it real to you as a couple. For every couple this will be different. For some it will involve all the other stuff for us not so much. Now don't get me wrong we still are both fans of a little bondage, cuffs and other play things. LOL At any rate I was given the opportunity to own a Fetish Felix belt style device and I shrugged it off. On a passing conversation, when my wife realized it would really not cost us anything, she said heck why not. She even went as far as to say I "had" to get the CS-500 version because she wanted to be able to tease me through the bars-enough said. So measurements began (about a hundred of them) and the process is underway. I have no idea what will happen but she has mentioned she has this list "the forty things to do before I am 40" and she only had 39 things on there. Jokingly I said how about 40 days in lockup, my longest is only 38. -and there you have number 40. However she is only excited because she really is hoping this will not be another one of those on again off again devices that truly kill all the fun. From what we have read, witnessed, and been told, 40 days could be a reality and hygiene with the open design should not be a concern. Time will tell. Anyway I hope that answers some of the things you may be asking. As always feel free to ask me questions. I will try to answer as much as I can. I have promised my wife however I won't be airing our relationship struggles etc on here. That was a big part of the problem for us, without me realizing it. It is hard to build up your wife when you come on here and tell the world everything she is NOT doing to make "my" fantasy. Once I truly realized it was about HER I realized where I had made my mistake.
Hey Mike, So awesome to see you blogging here again too! Here's hoping the CS-500 works out well for you. Do keep us posted on it! mikecb
Your post hits home to me a lot. Thank you for being so open about it. I definitely had a warped mind thanks to porn. Just plain 'man does woman' porn. (I never heard of cuckolding until less then a year ago). But even regular porn has a subtle way of altering a man's brain to make it all about 'him' and 'his supposed fantasies'. When my wife locked me up 1/2 year or so ago I completely stopped porn (i thought). It became much more about her. But then the chastity/ swinging/cuck fantasies became overwelmingly strong. Really no different then watching porn. Luckily it didnt take me too long to realize i was becoming obsessive about it and obsessive thoughts can be reduced once you realize it. I love my wife (mistress). I respect her. I do not need her to do any fantasies she doesnt like anymore. I always felt my sex life sucked because she didnt do A, B or C. What a mistake! Sex is incredibly satisfying when we explore what she enjoys. Yes it may be simple variations of missionary , simple paddlng or whatever she feels like. Its nothing like the porn I used to watch. But now I really dont understand why I ever wanted to do these thigs with/to her. Its NOT satisfying or healthy. (Sorry for being so disrespectful regarding sex all these year, wifey). Now we are really changing things (with some great counseling etc) and its a million times more satisfying then any porn fantasy I have ever wanted to reinact. I hope you will continue to give these types of insights on this forum. That is certainly one thing that attracks my wife and I to this site. Great friendly people and a lot of them are not just posting porn fantasies. A lot are sharing what works for them and what mistakes they made. Thank you again. I feel even more sure I am on the right track now.
Hey Mike good to here from you again as well. Of course I get yoru comments on FB but hey. Spike's Bitch thank for the comments and the friend request. I loved that you use the word obsessive. It was funny because that was exactly what was happening to me as well. I would want the lock up, not really get much attention, need the porn to help increase the tease and denial state, alienate my wife, get mad, need more porn, and thus the cycle went on. Someone said once you are locked up you will never want to look at porn again. BS! All I wanted to do was look at it more. the only difference was that I started looking for femdom stuff etc and it was harder to find. All in all it was really the addiction to the porn that hurt me. I truly believe that what a husband and wife do in their relationship as long as it is between them is good to go. I don't think that even God would make sex so pleasurable if he did not want us to enjoy it. With that said it was all the other stuff that really drove the wedge in our relationship. even before either of us realized it. I just got back from an event tonight where two guys at church came up afterwards and told me they needed to get help with a porn addiction. It is funny the department I would end up working in is the one department that ultimately helped me. Glad to see/hear that you have things going in the right direction. the one thing is for sure. the more my wife (and probably yours and others) feels we are not all about ourselves, the more fun it gets. This I know for sure
I'm always pleased to read where guys have realised for themselves what nonsense porn is and how little relation it bears to real life. There are numerous articles out there now expressing concern that the current teenage population is so exposed to porn that they have increasingly unrealistic expectations of sex and love. I think that is a massive problem in the making as no sex - no matter how "hot" comes close to sex in a loving, committed relationship. As a woman, I find porn quite hilarious to watch as it is sooo exaggerated and false. To my mind, watching porn when you're horny is like watching cookery shows when you're hungry - a bit pointless and you might as well get real and appreciate what's in your own kitchen!! Femdom porn has comedy value all of its own too (although some of the outfits are great, lol!) If you are a submissive male to your wife, how can third party stuff deliver on your fantasies? Surely your kicks are absolutely related to serving your wife's SPECIFIC needs -not asking her to renact some daft, unfeasible porn script. Spend the energy getting to appreciate, anticipate and understand your wife and want what you've got. Steak at home, burgers elsewhere gentlemen
I so love being here with all these intelligent people who realise the difference between truth and fiction.. what works for them and what doesn't.. and they acceptance that everyone can have their cake and eat it, as long as it's a flavour they like and enjoy! You guys rock! It's all about the person you're with and making them happy. That's all that matters. That's the reason why I'm here with pet. Fortunately his fantasy and my reality aren't that far apart. Good to see you back, keep us updated.
Hello ladies, please forgive the delay in responding. It turns out this bad cold I thought I had actually was pneumonia and it took me down a few days. I had never had it, so i just kept moving along. Once the sever chest pains set in I went to the prompt care and found out I was either going to get meds and go home and relax or be hospitalized. I chose the prior. LOL Celtic Queen, one point that just jumped out at me in your reply was the comment about our teenage exposure to porn. I just went through a group where I was mentoring other guys with problems (long story go figure). At any rate the national statistics in the US are that 80% of teens are exposed to and view porn while doing there homework on the internet. 70% will actually view it once tempted to. I about crapped when I saw that number. At any rate just wanted to say hello again. Still waiting for our CS-500. We sent the final measurements and extra money for shipping over a week ago and still have not heard anything yet. Kind of concerns me seeing how they have my money now and are over seas. It is the main reason I did not want to order overseas but we were given a great opportunity so I guess I will just have to see what happens. Last but certainly not least-it is great to see, check that, here from you again Mistress Watchful. I could not agree more with your closing comments. I think whatever you want to do as a couple, as long as both are on the same page- have a blast and go for it. That was the biggest thing we learned. Just week Melissa had me in my CB6000 for about 15 days. Her game was to use that damn Hitachi on me afterwards. If I could last for three minutes I coudl stay out. Really!?!? Hardly fair but the key was it was her idea and one she had a lot of fun. Me..not so much. It is like a runnier orgasm and I am back in. Now it is another 15 days and she claims I have to make it again. At this rate It is a hopeful thing that the new Fetish Felix device gets here and is as comfortable as everyone says it is. Well take care everyone and thanks for stopping in.
Well, time sure has a way of getting away from you. I came down with pneumonia for the first time in my life, and it knocked me off my feet. Nothing new to report really. Still waiting on the CS500. I guess I failed to understand how long a shipment takes from over seas. I would not care that much but I am hoping the belt style is better for the nocturnal erections. I have been in the Cb6k for about two months now and truth be told I almost at the spot where I hardly know it is there, until about 4AM of course. allegedly the CS500 will eliminate that problem. All in all we are having some fun lately. Work is still running both of our lives, but I think my wife is enjoying her control. We seem to have found the right balance in this lifestyle and that is great. however I am not sure how much I Ike giving up the freedom I once had. LOL. This is the longest i have ever gone under lock and key and wirh only one ruined orgasm in the last month, well let's say I am going a little crazy. Not much else to say tonight. Take care everyone.
Wow time goes by fast! Well the new belt from fetish-felix is in and still working on getting used to it. I have to say it is the real thing. Other than that not much happening. New job starting in a week with a marketing company. I am excited about that. I think my wife is more excited. It means if I am successful there she will finally be able to leave that hell hole she works at. LOL There is not much to report in regards to the fetish side of life. I had some unfortunate news come my way recently and it kind of disturbed me. Turns out someone I was pretty close to in this lifestyle had a few harsh things to say about me and I still not sure why or what was said. I just figured if people want to believe and fall into the world of gossip then I don't need to try and waste time figuring it out. Sometimes it just smacks you in the face though when you here stuff like that. Anyway, I was thinking about everyone here tonight when I had the privilege to help someone shoot a halloween themed wedding. Upper class clientele so the costumes where pretty detailed. There was a lot of fetish undertones with the Bride of Frankenstein sporting a really hot corset with her wedding gown. LOL Just some of the thoughts there were sinful enough, let alone the visual. I never thought that one could get excited at a halloween party shooting pictures. Anyway, just stopping in to say hello. Hope you all enjoy your weekend.
Hey there. No, as a matter of fact the inside edges are perfect, as in don't exist. I was really afraid of that but it is amazing. My only problem right now and perhaps you can help, is where to position the belt. I have it kind of low, where I where my normal belt but either I have it too tight or in the wrong place as after about two days it really gets irritating. If I loosen it up then the locking plate and tube moves around too much and I get a lot of pinching in that area. Any suggestions are GREATLY appreciated.