Stress relief

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Shellysboytoy, Jun 15, 2022.

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  1. Shellysboytoy
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    Shellysboytoy Long term member

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    Today marks two moths since I last pleasured myself. While this has really helped intimacy with my wife I'm running into a realization / obstacle. The realization is that I used masturbation as a stress/anxiety coping mechanism. The obstacle is that my work has been extremely stressful over the last couple of weeks.

    Today in particular, I want to pull this damn cage off and crank one out. Not because I'm horny, but because I'm stressed out! For those that used self pleasure as a stress relief, what other coping mechanisms have your found?

    Thanks in advance!
     
  2. Guest 6019
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    Guest 6019 Long term member

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    I feel for you. I used orgasm as a stress relief before chastity. I don't have an answer, I just know that going back to the old me is not an option anymore, and smoke another spliff.
     
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  3. HusbandX
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    HusbandX Long term member

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    I like to sit cross legged while facing the rising sun, and pull the wings off dead flies. Very cathartic.

    Also, skydiving.

    I recommend stables as a good source for dead flies.
     
  4. HabsFan
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    That's a tough one. Exercise in some way helps me. Whether it's lifting weights or some form of cardio.

    If not that, some type of physical activity (lawn care). Basically being/doing something active helps me. Might not fully resolve the urges but might help alleviate it some.


    If that's not an option, perhaps trying to see if your KH/wife can give you a task to complete so your focus is on that (and more importantly Her).
     
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  5. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    This sounds very generic and cliche, but; Do things.

    Tidy up, clean things, dig in the garden, go for a brisk walk, do some pushups...anything to get and stay busy.

    It will pass.

    I'm in a similar position. Lots of real life stress and can't masturbate to self soothe and the last time the key was in the lock was a month ago. Meditation helps, as does physical exercise, but ultimately acceptance is the only way forward
     
  6. submetido
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    submetido Member

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    I am still starting to get locked on longer periods, but for me what have been helpful is:
    Working out on the gym. I started it a few weeks prior being locked and I am keeping up. It's helping my physical and mental health and also keeps me distracted from thinking on jerking off.

    Doing things at the house or tidying up that little details you left behind also helps.
    But I do understand that at some times it just feels like you would just need to ejaculate and relax. I think acceptance will help on long term on my case.
     
  7. chaste4wife
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    chaste4wife Active member

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    Work out, meditate.

    Are they easy? No. But they work.

    Masturbation was a crutch for you. For others it's eating, or getting pissed off on Twitter, or alcohol, or whatever. Anything that can give you a dopamine hit can turn into that crutch.

    The aim is to calm the need for it.

    Channelling the energy into working out, or working on a project, something more productive can help relieve stress. "A change is as good as a rest," is completely true. Work on something you find interesting.

    Take time to meditate, or journal with a real pen and paper, away from other stimulus. It's centering and calming.
     
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  8. Kayak
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    I am a certified stress coach…
    Our stress system is psychological as well as physical. Under stress our fight-flight-freeze (FFF) response is activated.
    This means that our emotional brain (lymbic system) activates the autonomous Nervous System (ANS).
    There are many forms of stress, for example: emotional, societal, physical, environmental, social, structural, etc.
    When the ANS is activated it heightens the activity of most of your organs like pushing a throttle. Think of heart rate, respetory rate, blood pressure, sugar level, cortisol and Adrenalin release.
    When stressed over longer periods, it is key to let go of the throttle and engaging the brake. This brake function is also part of your ANS and can be applied by taking rest, relaxing activities like sauna, bath, shower, light short walks, meditation, yoga, tai chi, qui gong, and the like. Hygiene factor #1 however is sleep-sleep-sleep.
    Mind you! In above list Exercising is not mentioned, except for light walks!!!
    That is on purpose! Exercise also activates your ANS! Training, Exercising is a healthy physical stressor increasing your stress resilience. In a normal situation that is…
    Under chronic stress it is an add-on to the stress level and works counter productive on the long run. Over-Training for an atlete is equal / similar to burn-out for an office-worker.
    If you use sport activities for stress relief stay away from high intensity cardio or HIT.
    Beter take it easy for a while. Stay active! but don’t use demanding sport activities as relief method when under prolonged/ chronic stress.
    Body bag bondage, meditation, corner time, giving foot rubs to your domme, having your nipples played with, mindful tasks and mindfulness subspace should all be fine .
    Happy to answer any questions!
     
  9. OwedbyJM
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    OwedbyJM Long term member

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    This may sound crazy but I have been playing with kink related hypnosis that reenforces chastity and other goals around the life style. If nothing else the relaxation techniques seem to help my stress levels.
     
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  10. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    I used to be a Prolactin junkie for sure. I masturbated with engineering precision to control my stress level and stay satisfied yet motivated (i.e. not every day, but every time I thought my anxiety was getting in the way).

    Unfortunately I have no good advice for you as the anxiety doesn't really go away (not unless you get a release, and then after enough time you will have a rough time with the unexpected dose of prolactin from that release. Over time I have learned to associate that anxiety with sexual pleasure, and to feel satisfied when I am allowed to please her. Indeed in some ways this is the essence of EMC - if you think of it that way it might become a good thing.
     
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  11. DavMan
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    DavMan Long term member

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    I found that time took care of it, we started chastity 3 years ago and now when stressed from work orr anything else it doesent bother me anymore. Everybody says I am more relaxed .
    Only thing I can say is time will take care of it.
     
  12. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    Take it from me.. i was a chronic masturbator.. i have daily ejaculation since 11yo.. (pubes only came at 12).. something is just not right without doing it.. the hand just slide down and caress the bl..y dick every 30mins.. so much so a solid permanent neuron pathway is created as thick as a rope.. the right hand shivers to this day as a result.. anyway my left hand is just as good at it..
    yes, i used it to allay stress, anxiety and eventually before sleep to calm down.. the chastity cage works… it just keeps the penis away.. once an external sight or internal thought passes.. the urge will no longer lingers.. i channel lots of buildup of libido/energy into physical workout.. during my student days, i did 20 pushups each round of an urge arising.. i go to the gym 2-3x weekly for at least 2hours each session.. the habit just have to go to a more managable level.. once its within control, the air smells fresher just like a smoking habit gotten stubbed.
     
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  13. MT206
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    MT206 Long term member

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    I still literally can't even comprehend how a device is inescapable. If it's a full belt, and one has a member that doesn't turtle, and is standard size, then it's more plausible.

    For me though, I tend to only use ball trap devices. I find it quite easy to pull out, due to no anti-pullout additions. These would potentially irritate the nerves by the way. As bizarre, or even slightly naive as this may sound, I'd like to get an idea of how pull-out is impossible with the devices you folks are wearing.
     
  14. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    As mentioned above, @Shellysboytoy, what you are experiencing is common to many who are caged for longer periods. And while defeating the device is likely possible, as @MT206 says, that only causes other issues by confusing our Dommes on how serious about chastity we really are and whether we even want it or not.

    To some extent, that frustration and lack of stress relief needs to be converted into positive energy. I "gamify" it and that works for me. By tracking how long it's been since i climaxed, counting my climaxes vs my Domina's and similar stats, i use the sexual tension and energy to balance out the stress.

    On the one hand, there isn't that instant feeling of relief that i would get in the years and years when i was a chronic masturbater, but in the other, this submission to Her will feeds a fun FLR dynamic and keeps me dependent on Her for my sexual satisfaction and that's hot for us. Best of luck!

    asa
     
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  15. A4w2
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    A4w2 Long term member

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    exercise is the only way I have found.. I have a rowing machine for exactly this purpose.
     
  16. submetido
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    submetido Member

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    This is very interesting, I was not aware of it!
    So, it's better to keep activities to a low intensity. How about weight lifting? Is it too intense also?
     
  17. sadiedog01
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    sadiedog01 Long term member

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    As bizarre, or even slightly naive as this may sound, I'd like to get an idea of how pull-out is impossible with the devices you folks are wearing.

    To make pull out impossible get a Prince Albert piercing. I have used this piercing to prevent pullout for the last 20 years with various chastity devices.
    I have also read about a device on this website called a 'Tether Spout ' which appears to be as effective.
     
  18. Trapped
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    Trapped Long term member

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    yeah, still stressed. I think the Abilify helps though.
     
  19. subrick
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    subrick Junior Member

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    Well, directing the energy towards exercise is always a good, positive way to relieve the stress. But some of us just don't see much fun in that.... LOL

    As one who used to relieve stress via masturbation 2 or 3 times a day when not locked up, I was concerned about this as well, especially when my Dear Wife & KeyHolder told me that THIS time I will not be released for a LONG time.

    Fortunately, early on in my lockup, my nipples, which were always sensitive, seemed to become even more so. Seeing as there was no real contact with my cock any more, I guess my brain intensified the connections between my nipples and my cock. It drives me insane when She touches me on my nipples in that I can feel it right down into my cock. It's really hard to describe. She'll start off with gently stimulation, which has me writhing as my cock tries to grow in it's cage, then She progress to more intense stimulations, some even very painful, but it ALL translates into a feeling of intense stimulation of my cock. Like I said, it's difficult to describe.

    Early on in this lock-up, during a stressful time at work, I asked Her if I could have some "stress relief", asking Her to tease my nipples and crush my balls. She LOVES the fact that this brings me right up to the brink of an orgasm, but without the stimulation on my cock, I can't quite get there. It's frustrating as heck. In an example as "Turn about is fair play", She actually gets VERY turned on when She does this to me because of all of the times SHE has been right at the brink of orgasm, but for whatever reason, we couldn't get Her over the edge. In most cases, She would end the session being extremely frustrated. So Her doing this to me NOW is actually something SHE enjoys doing. Meanwhile, I have trained myself to accept this attention from Her as MY sexual activity.

    Going one step further, within a month or so of this, She would get so turned on about it, that She would tease & torment me until She wanted to have Her orgasm. I assisted Her in various ways as She needed to come, and when She did orgasm, I could actually FEEL HER exploding sexual energy being released travel through my own body as I held Her. In essence, as She climaxed and then started floating down, I felt very much like I, myself, had an orgasm. I didn't, but psychologically, I felt like I did. Except for one difference: I was STILL horny as HECK for Her. I couldn't keep my hands off of Her. I held Her, kissed Her and caressed Her, while She floated down. I even dry humped Her. If it was at night, we'd fall asleep with Her cuddled in my arms, both very much relieved. If it was in the morning, I'd just continue to massage Her until She was ready to get up. Although....a few times....the massaging actually initiated a "Round #2" scenario for Her. Which is FINE by me!!!

    Ok, so, that obviously is NOT a quick way to get some stress relief. It IS something that works for me, and I'm fortunately enough to have a Loving Wife & KeyHolder willing to do that for me. I should also say that there have been many times where She'll just tease and torment the HECK out of me for 10-15 minutes and then stop and say..."OK, that's it. We'll finish this up later when you can repay me!"

    Of course, if you're open to cheating the purpose of the cage, most cages can be stimulated with the proper vibrator to bring about an orgasm. But, like I said, THAT would be cheating.

    Good Luck,

    ~subrick
     
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  20. Shellysboytoy
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    Shellysboytoy Long term member

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    All of these responses have just been fantastic!

    As far as exercise goes I've been very diligent about exercise since beginning 24/7 chastity. I've even dropped 10 lb! I like the way my wife looks at me now more than ever! Difficulty there is that it is currently +100°F (37°C) outside right now. I've had to dial that back. However it has helped.

    After some people recommended meditation I did look up some guided breathing and other relaxation techniques. That seemed to help.

    Finally, my wife has been teasing me via Snapchat all day. That's definitely taking my mind off the stresses of work! Somehow miraculously it's also increased my productivity at work. Looking forward to her arrival home. Think the kids are going to have an early bedtime tonight.
     
  21. Sausage
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    Sausage Member

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    Being a blacksmith, lighting up the forge and just wailing on a hot piece of steel is a great stress reliever. Kicking back with a beer or two or three is good too. If work has really got me stressed out, I like to take long drives down country roads after work before I get home. Gas is expensive, but my health and a sane mind is more valuable. There's just something about driving that calms me. Especially with a manual truck. It forces whatever is in my mind to get out so my truck, the road, and my mind can become one
     
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  22. klepzy
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    klepzy Active member

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    As other mentionned, exercise.
     
  23. madams-sissysub
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    I agree! But just because you cannot touch your penis didn’t mean you cannot masturbate, have you tried anal stimulation?
     
  24. Shellysboytoy
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    Shellysboytoy Long term member

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    I have, but my wife is very specific. No self pleasure of any kind. She has really liked having 100% of my energy. Also, after I told her I was tempted she bought a lock box. All the toys stay in here.
    16554762562468516378765347491607.jpg
     
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  25. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    Two Months...is that since orgasm, in that case your doing awesum lol

    For me for some reason a good spanking works as stress relief, when I am feeling stress from not orgasming its about the only thing i am allowed to ask for.

    I don't like it mind you, because mistress is not gentle. So she knows I must be desperate if i ask for it, but once the pain dies away, its almost...maybe not almost but its like post orgasmic bliss...lol.
     
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