Does Chastity have to mean emasculation?

I've been struggle for words. This really helped. Thank you!

 

I think this is an important thread. I haven't presented this whole thing to my wife yet, but one of my biggest concerns is that she will research and run into all of the sissy emasculation stuff. That will ruin the whole thing for her in a heartbeat. Messaging like @Jah Rubbings here is an important distinction and I 100% agree. In fact, my wife is the furthest thing from someone who wants to emasculate her man, yet she has had me sitting for about 20 years to avoid the unnecessary mess. I got used to that a long time ago and never associated it with anything other than logical cleanliness.

 

Simple answer, no.

 

It's an interesting topic I've noticed too in a couple of recent posts. I don't "feel" emasculated. But thought I'd look up some definitions to better understand my own interpretation.

Here are some dictionary definitions -

• to reduce the effectiveness of something
• to make a man feel less male by taking away his power and confidence
• to castrate (= remove the male sexual parts of) a man or male animal, or to remove the male parts of a plant

Interestingly I also found some definitions having a distinctions between castrate (remove testicles) and emasculate (remove penis and testicles).

So the first definition of reducing effectiveness, not really, everything about me still works and I'm just as effective.

The second definition of taking away power and confidence, actually... maybe. I guess I do have less power and I do feel less confident or dominant, though not necessarily in a bad way, in a more listening and less barging through way. So maybe I am a little emasculated, but having said that I don't feel less male, maybe just a quieter male.

Thirdly, castrate... I checked, everything is still there

 

The very concept of emasculation suggests that ordinarily masculinity is something to be privileged: if you're depriving someone of something it must be valuable.

That flies in the face of the women-centric worldview I hold dear.

 

But is masculinity in opposition to a women-centric worldview? Can us being masculine be valuable women? Generally they seem to sort of like us, even with our faults.

There are some masculine elements my Goddess really appreciates; lifting, fixing, building, protecting. All those practical and strength based things. She likes my effectiveness.

There are things she hates too that seem to be over confidence related. Apparently I think I'm always right and I never apologise, but we've been working on that

 

No.

It's inevitable that a man denied erections and orgasms for weeks or months will seek pleasure in different ways. I find snuggling and cuddling, and making her orgasm, to be a good replacement. Maybe some men find that to be emasculating?

I guess it depends on how one identifies as a man. If it's due to having a rock hard dick and ejaculating then there is bad news eventually, as it's quite likely you'll eventually lose both - and then where is the manly man you once were? It's dumb to identify with something that you can lose.

I don't feel even a tiny bit emasculated by being denied access to my cock since it does not define me.

 

You could be right

 

I look at chastity as a way to fix something that was wrong in an otherwise great heterosexual marriage. For us it revived our sex lives and brought back intimacy. It's also helped me be more caring and less of a dick (no pun intended). It's certainly not either of our goals to make me feel any less of a "man" (whatever that means), nor for me to become a sissy or wear women's clothes. So yeah, there is plenty of room in this chastity world for all comers (well strike that, no cumming, but you know what I mean, lol).

 

i think it silly for a man to keep worry bout being turn into a girl just cos he has got a cage on him that his wife or girl like him to have lock on him. cos if he dont want to be a girl he wont.

 

I agree totally Jemima, I think the problem is, sometimes when new folk start reading up on chastity to see if it's right for them, they stumble onto sites like this where it seems that many of the women enforcing chastity do insist on their men becoming feminized, and many of the men in chastity are sissies, which leads to questions like "does chastity turn a man into a sissy" or "does feminization have to be part of chastity", etc.

For me, the main answer is, there are no rules, it's nobody else's place to judge whether you are doing chastity right. Others can certainly give advice based on what's worked for them, and many will advise the woman to feminize him, but it's still up to you whether you take that advice. What works for one won't necessarily work for others.

 

and i think as well that some men that say that they been force to wear panties by there wife they really really want to wear them and if the dint they wud not.

 

Loaded words. Should, only, always, real, best, true, have to…whenever asking questions with these words, it leads to polarized answers. Because of course there is no should, only, always, real, best, true, or have to answers.

Everyone has their own reasons, routes, likes and dislikes, and relationship dynamics. So one size definitely does not fit all.

As far as emasculated, I know how I personally feel, and that is yes and no. Do I feel like a part of me that is inherently male been rendered unusable as such? Yes. Does it somehow make me feel like I’m different from other males by needing my partner to grant permission to use my manhood appendage? Yes. Would it be something I would be comfortable with my friends knowing? No.

On the other hand, am I proud that I am strong enough to give up control of my sexuality? Yes. Am I a more caring, attentive, and loving partner now? Yes. Do I feel like I’m stronger and more mentally capable of other men because I gave up that part of myself? Yes.

It doesn’t make me weaker, feminine, less than, or anything like that.

 

Very well put, as much as chastity is a kink and has a part in the bdsm/fetish world and lifestyle, it’s important to remember that bdsm isn’t always a part of the chastity lifestyle!

 

I'm in permanent, no release and no orgasm chastity but my own key holder has never considered sissification nor I trended towards feeling like one. If she wanted to move me in that direction she would but the one thing (chastity) does not in any way make the other (sissification) inevitable.

Every partnership works on a different dynamic and there is no right or wrong answer here.
I note too, that many folks who identify as a sissy are not necessarily in chastity (though, in the reverse direction, chastity often goes with being a sissy). They may be in chastity, they may not be but the two things are not intrinsically linked. - imho.

 

emasculation has broad meanings.. socialy a male is perceived to b overpowering, displaying his dominion status, an alpha member of a pack/troupe.. having multiple sexual conquests and choices.. at least in d animal kingdom..or our cavemen days.. physicaly d male is seen to b dominant over other members of d tribe, protecting himsef or his own kind..territotial.. while more importantly .. natural rights to breed n spread his seeds more than his closest rivals.. histoticaly one can conjure up d image of genghis khan… so in d sense of emasculation.. d act of removal of som or al maleness frm a man with certain atributes to d above.. to certain extent.. being harnesed of his own freedom of erection/ejaculation as a basic form of natural instinct.. tat can equate to emasculation.. especialy if d male chastity is usualy practised in a female led household / comunity.. leading to d term submale.. i mean theres no subfemale.. But tis context has to b seen frm a scale of time.. in d modern world.. where theres more equality.. emasculation is leser in efect.. in not too distant history.. it could b non-existent in a female led society.. i can think of the Minangkabau matriah comunity practised not too far frm where i com frm… good read here:

https://nadia-ferroukhi.com/project/indonesia-minangkabau/

 

No.

One can be as masculine man as they ever were, before chastity and after being in chastity. It doesn't mean that he suddenly wants to wear panties or to become a feminized sissy. It does not mean that you suddenly have urge to be pegged. Nor it should not.

I could expect that if full vanilla wife enters mansion, there could be a lot of questions and overall worry that what would it mean, for them in a relationship and for her, as a wife. Luckily there is a lot of good discussions and responses, from various sides.

For me, the "manliness" in me, does not come if I have my cock locked up or if I can masturbate or come how I want. It is not defined by what I wear. Yes, if I would be feminized 24/7, world and outsiders would definitely see me differently, but it wouldn't make me "less of a man", from those part which I connect to "manliness":

As a "manly" man, I would value the other gender(s) as much as you value your own. It's not better, or not worse in any way. I would want to give my best for my partner, be the understanding, supportive, loving and caring partner, which kind of behaviour I would hope to receive myself. If chastity makes me focus more on Her wellbeing, yes, I want that. If it helps me to improve in some way, why not.

If I would wear panties, stockings or what ever, and situation would arise, I would fight and defend Her. The learned things, being the "gentleman": opening the door, flowers, attention and affection.. All nice things, but not defined if I'm in chastity or not, but which sort of goes under the umbrella of manliness, on my eyes.

For me, it's equally 'manly' to want love and affection, cuddles, connection. To be able to express your feelings, joy, fear, insecurities.. cry if you feel like. For some that's definitely not the 'manly' thing to do, due of cultural or learned reasons.

None of those things are changed if I am in the chastity or not. It might be a good reminder or someway a conditioner to do something, but it does not define who I am, inside.

as a definition: Emasculated:
(of a man) deprived of his male role or identity.

Is my identity that tight knit to my cock, that I lose something if it's locked? No.
What role am I losing if I'm in chastity? The 'Alpha'? Is it "better", or worse that others?

Do I lose the ability to have multiple sexual conquests? No, I have already chosen the one who I want, I don't have the need to conquest more. Faithfulness, trustworthiness, is "masculine" thing, for me.
(Edit: Let me rephrase above a bit: those are features and not gender based, which I see to be important ones in a loving relationship, they are not masculine itself, but as a male, I identify those to be a core features, for a good, loving husband, therefore, linking them in my mind directly to the masculinity and it does not mean that they are not equally feminine features).

Do I lose the ability to spread my seed and breed? Honestly? No. If that would be 'the thing' for me, which would make me masculine or manly.. the chastity in the end would not be the thing that is preventing me.

If someone finds chastity and wants to explore it with his wife or as a couple. Great, go ahead. Discuss, be open and honest. That tube between his legs does not define how things pan out. It does not emasculate him, in my opinion.

This (or any other site) does not define how things are going to go. It's a kink, under an umbrella (containing another umbrella) of various things, which can or won't lead to anything. There are extremes on all directions and if it happens to lead to feminization and/or to emasculation and both of you find it your thing, great, if not.. great nevertheless.

Well, that ended up being a lot more what I initially wanted to answer, but that's my initial 50 cents on the topic.

 

No, not for me.
I can, however, sometimes have that thought about being submissive.

 

Chastity and FLR helps me embrace my sissy side. I want to be more feminine My wife feels the same