Regrets

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by HusbandInTraining, Mar 25, 2022.

Random Thread
  1. HusbandInTraining
    Offline

    HusbandInTraining Active member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2021
    Messages:
    87
    Likes Received:
    183
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Eastern US
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    Until recently, chastity was just a fantasy. Now that it's actually happening, and Goddess seems to be liking it, I must admit I'm a little concerned for what my future holds. It is already a good possibility that the cage holds a permanent place in my future. I did some searching on "regret" here on CM, and it seems that the unanimous regret here is not starting sooner. I'm just wondering if there is any real regret of the opposite? Anyone wish you hadn't opened this can of worms? I'm thinking I may have already passed that U-turn, so I'd love to hear all of your thoughts. Thanks in advance!
     
    Rectrix and BlokeDenied like this.
  2. BlokeDenied
    Offline

    BlokeDenied Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2021
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    167
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia
    Local Time:
    1:53 AM
    sooner for me. I mean, I was already practically living the lifestyle for the last 20 years. My wife is very sedentary and not particularly active in any sense. I'm the opposite, so the work that gets done around the home has always been by me through my initiative. the shenanigans has got quite irregular over time, as it has for many of us so I hoped the chastity would at least setup some sort of routine...still early days, only time will tell.
     
    HusbandInTraining likes this.
  3. CuriousAndy
    Offline

    CuriousAndy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2022
    Messages:
    547
    Likes Received:
    1,456
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia
    Local Time:
    2:53 AM
    It's a bit crude... but head. My Goddess gives the most amazing head jobs. I regret that that hasn't happened since I've been locked up.

    But other than not getting to sometimes choose sex acts, no regrets. She is having fun and I feel happy.
     
  4. Queens servant73
    Offline

    Queens servant73 Long term member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2020
    Messages:
    826
    Likes Received:
    1,925
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest
    Local Time:
    10:53 AM
    No regrets so far. Chastity got very serious after about a year and half of more play time kink. This last 6-7 months my Wife has taken over total control of our sex lives and has dropped our piv from 7-10 times a week for most of our marriage, down to 7-8 times a month these last few months. Of course she still cums those 7-10 times a week lol.
    I love the way this cage has changed me, I was never a selfish lover but more of my focus was penis driven, and now I crave to serve her in all ways. And now when I’m allowed entry into her body, it’s an even more magical feeling.
    I may regret it if she gets even more strict with denial, but I guess I owe her after being the dominant one sexually for 28 of our 30 years of marriage :)
     
  5. LesterBallard
    Offline

    LesterBallard Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2016
    Messages:
    15,497
    Likes Received:
    5,489
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Management
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    3:53 PM
    The unofficial motto of this place is "be careful what you wish for". Real chastity can be difficult.
     
    Breathe, Rectrix, Susanstoy91 and 5 others like this.
  6. HusbandInTraining
    Offline

    HusbandInTraining Active member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2021
    Messages:
    87
    Likes Received:
    183
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Eastern US
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    I am well aware of the motto, and I am aware that it can be difficult. But there is a difference between getting what you wished for (and it being difficult), and regretting it. Raising children is difficult. But I do not regret having children. What I am asking is about actual regrets. Do you have any?
     
  7. Tarknassus
    Offline

    Tarknassus Wordy chastity nerdery.

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2022
    Messages:
    120
    Likes Received:
    314
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Dog Walker
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    3:53 PM
    I don't have regrets with chastity as a whole, with my wife leading, and all of that.

    The only points where I do regret it is where she punishes me - it's not nice, I really want out at those moments, but I hold on because the end results are so much more worthwhile. I'd say that the motto "careful what you wish for" is so true in regards to chastity between my wife and I because we've passed the crossroads of stopping, and on the highway to something of a permanent* arrangement. It's become an important facet of our relationship, and thankfully built on a solid marriage to start with.

    *by permanent I mean chastity as a whole, a lifestyle, not 'permanent chastity' as such. Although I would not put it past her to decide that at some point in the future!
     
    Rectrix and HusbandInTraining like this.
  8. R2002
    Offline

    R2002 Long term member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2017
    Messages:
    853
    Likes Received:
    974
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Attorney
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    Coming up on 6 years for me and no regrets whatsoever
     
    HusbandInTraining and Rectrix like this.
  9. BarbCD
    Offline

    BarbCD Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2019
    Messages:
    589
    Likes Received:
    1,058
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Occupation:
    Gainfully employed!
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Connecticut, USA
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    I suspect the sample population of active CM members will de facto heavily lean toward “no regrets”. After all, those with true regrets have likely exited the situation or have lost interest in discussing it.

    That said, search for user Doczilla421. His posts fascinate me because it’s apparent he really doesn’t like being in chastity. But for reasons he articulates he is, and accepts it. Worth reading I think, whether you agree with his decision or not.
     
    HusbandInTraining and Lady&sub like this.
  10. Headtrip
    Offline

    Headtrip Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2019
    Messages:
    860
    Likes Received:
    2,011
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest USA
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    This, too, will not fit your definition of regret but I can honestly say that if I had any clue where she was taking this, I would not have agreed. And on the rare occassion I am free for days I go back to that way of thinking. But I gave her my word, and married her knowing this, so I am not complaining. And after some weeks of her sexy control I accept and find enjoyment in it - like a higher level of sexual enlightenment.
     
  11. Shimone
    Offline

    Shimone Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2011
    Messages:
    595
    Likes Received:
    331
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    management consultant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Singapore
    Local Time:
    4:53 PM
    I do not regret anything. But then reading here my position is not like many others it seems.
    My wife loves sex and so we still have sex on more days than not. And even should our sex might not involve penetrative sex as often as in the past and orgasms for me even less I take no less pleasure in it.
    And my wife takes extra precaution that I enjoy it, too as she loves me and as her her sadistic side might love my amivalent feeling about certain things - loving them while experiencing them as humiliating at the same time - even more.

    That said I might feel different about chastity if I were in another kind of relationship. But then I do not think I wold be long in some kind of relaionship where your partner is no more intterested in intimacy etc....
     
    HusbandInTraining likes this.
  12. Kat9s toy
    Offline

    Kat9s toy Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2020
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    488
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    California (US)
    Local Time:
    8:53 AM
    I've been locked nearly full-time for the past 2+ years. Occasionally a feeling of regret comes up but it is usually very transitory. I remember that it makes Mistress happy to keep me locked, and if I know I've made her happy, that overrides any temporary regrets.
     
  13. cumslave_2002
    Offline

    cumslave_2002 Ms. Shauna's Hubby

    Joined:
    May 20, 2008
    Messages:
    322
    Likes Received:
    1,659
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Edmonton
    Local Time:
    9:53 AM
    When we first went to permanent chastity 4 years ago. I had some thoughts of WTF have I done. But as time went by, I forgot about it. I realized how happy my Mistress/Wife was to have full control of me sexually.
    However now that long term denial has been included, I do get frustrated not being able to masturbate or orgasm anymore.
    But that to is now fading.
    So do I have regrets? I would say I’m on the fence sometimes, but knowing what I’ve given up for my Goddess makes it so worthwhile.
     
  14. Hubby&Missy
    Offline

    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2021
    Messages:
    384
    Likes Received:
    983
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Machine shop owner
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    If you want to be sure you have no regrets, make sure you talk often and honestly with Goddess. I assume she loves you. You will find that balance that allows her to control your sex life and ensures you show her attention and your love all the time and not just when you want sex. She will return that love and make certain that your needs and desires are also met. It may mean sex less often but in my experience the sex is amazing and the loving is even better. If you communicate well and the relationship is about love there will be nothing to regret. The relationship will go where you are both comfortable and happy. Some like extreme, some like vanilla, and there are an infinite number of levels in between. Just find what works for you.
     
  15. Disciplined Boyfriend
    Offline

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    1,603
    Likes Received:
    3,144
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    NE Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    3:53 PM
    Definitely no regrets. Sometimes I'll see a young couple and think that they be going home to sex, or I seriously want a blowjob. But these are random.

    What is better that I have a happier wife/Mistress/KH and we are closer and there are other attributes of this lifestyle that do it for me.

    It's not just about locking the cock and throwing the key away. But it is a major change in lifestyle and lots of fun along the way.

    A
     
  16. Ormaz
    Offline

    Ormaz Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2011
    Messages:
    400
    Likes Received:
    230
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New York
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    Everyone has fleeting moments of regrets, especially as things get serious. It is entirely normal for you to experience these as you are in the home stretch of the decisional power exchange process. I think it’s part of chastity’s growing pains, especially when you are at that crossroad between fantasy and reality. Even your KH’s determination can be double-edged. While it may motivate you to take the plunge, it also make you feel there is no way back. When you go through such moments, it helps to weigh in the pros and cons. Would you rather go back to your old ways? Remember, your KH also a vested interest in having this work. Do your best to trust her. Once everything is in place, there’ll still be room for negotiation, if you know your place.
     
  17. HusbandInTraining
    Offline

    HusbandInTraining Active member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2021
    Messages:
    87
    Likes Received:
    183
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Eastern US
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    Thank you all for your responses and I hope to get a little more feedback as well. Especially, thank you Ormaz, Thank you for taking the time to compose that response. It was the most down to earth comprehensible thing I could have possibly read, and it makes perfect sense. I appreciate you. Here goes further down the rabbit hole.
     
  18. Lazlo Toth
    Offline

    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 9/9

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2019
    Messages:
    2,830
    Likes Received:
    4,733
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Contractor
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Upstate South Carolina
    Local Time:
    8:53 AM
    People are right to consider that "regret" may or may not always be the right word because it has such bad connotations.

    But rest assured, you WILL have the proverbial "second thoughts". You will question yourself. Maybe only for a moment or two, or maybe days.

    You WILL miss erections and orgasms--at times. During other times you will be proud to make her happy and to display some excellent discipline.

    The emotions ebb and floe. It's part of the fun.
     
    Rectrix and HusbandInTraining like this.
  19. JaySaysYes
    Offline

    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2020
    Messages:
    2,902
    Likes Received:
    5,281
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Local Time:
    3:53 PM
    I regret not having a giant wanking session 2 months ago before she said she wanted to do a "long lock".

    Every day I regret watching porn and making my own life more difficult lol.
     
    Rectrix, ugams and cogman like this.
  20. handsolo
    Offline

    handsolo Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2020
    Messages:
    286
    Likes Received:
    265
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    The fun doesn't start until it stops being fun.
     
    Ormaz likes this.
  21. Doug Scibor
    Offline

    Doug Scibor Long term member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2016
    Messages:
    619
    Likes Received:
    1,372
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Technical
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Atlanta, GA USA
    Local Time:
    11:53 AM
    Honestly? I miss the ability to have a stress orgasm or just whip it out when I'm bored and alone (eg hotel room during travel). Having the endorphin dump and sexual relief whether I'm at home or away is huge coping mechanism that I've had to learn to do without.

    I'm not saying it has ended entirely since I have a couple of instances where she unlocked me, was lax about putting me back in the cage and I took advantage of it. My last solo session I just wanted to see the semen fly as she had limited me to cumming into her or a pair of satin panties; I love both of those activities but somehow I needed to see the orgasm happen.

    My loss of control these past 5 years has me thinking about all the things I used to do and knowing she wants to have it her way when she allows me to cum, I regret not having the ability to do what I want, when I want it.

    Would I change it? I might suggest a modification to allow me some free agency from time to time but I have very few regrets.
     
    Rectrix and Lazlo Toth like this.
  22. Elfman
    Offline

    Elfman Gay werewolves & martinis

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2019
    Messages:
    577
    Likes Received:
    599
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Artist, photographer, bartender
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Boise, Idaho
    Local Time:
    8:53 AM
    Regrets happen and you're allowed to not indulge in a fetish anymore.
     
  23. madams-sissysub
    Offline

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2009
    Messages:
    12,253
    Likes Received:
    6,636
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    nurse
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    uk (west mids)
    Local Time:
    3:53 PM
    I can relate to all of this! My madam loves to tease me about all the oral I don’t get!
     
    ugams and Guest 3729 like this.
  24. Disciplined Boyfriend
    Offline

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    1,603
    Likes Received:
    3,144
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    NE Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    3:53 PM
    Ok, answer a question with a question...

    Who would have any other way?
     
    Guest 3291 and Guest 3729 like this.
  25. Guest 3729
    Offline

    Guest 3729 Long term member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2017
    Messages:
    1,332
    Likes Received:
    2,519
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Local Time:
    9:53 AM
    I don’t have any regrets because I feel like chastity helped me to be a better person and husband which in turn helped improve our relationship. My wife enjoys being my mistress and the power that comes with. She took her time becoming the domme she wanted to as well as created the FLR to her liking. We are now entering our 7th year of this lifestyle and at the beginning of this year chastity took a more serious turn. I bought a Behind Barz chastity belt in 2019, before that I had just worn ball trap cages. Although I was relatively a good boy when the cage was on, the ball trap cages were way to easy to get out of and it never felt like real chastity to me or my mistress, hence the upgrade to the belt. Now that I had the belt I was totally secure from getting full erections as well as being able to pull out. I was still let out about once a week for play and release. Especially last year while my mistress was pregnant, her hormones were really ramped up and we were having lots of fun.

    I’d often leave my belt off for a day or two and then lock back up until she wanted me out again. I sometimes took the liberty for a little extra relief during those days my belt was off. She knew I occasionally did this and she didn’t like it. Well over the course of last year with some minor adjustments I’ve been able to wear my belt for long periods of time with no issues. About the end of November beginning of December my belt was left off until the beginning of the new year when our baby was born. On January 3rd my mistress and I had a brief moment of alone and quiet. She pulled me into our bathroom and gave me one of the best blowjobs I’ve ever had. I hadn’t cum for about two weeks at that point because she was getting more uncomfortable as she approached the end of the pregnancy, I was busy working and taking care of my mistress so I was good and didn’t touch myself. Afterwards the amazing blowjob I was told to put my belt on. Now obviously, with the new baby our time is severely limited but it was 7 weeks before she unlocked me again but only allowed to take the tube off. She allowed me to have PIV and cum but then immediately put the tube back on. Then it was nearly another 6 weeks (so just a few days ago) when she allowed me to take my tube off again for another amazing blowjob. For the first time ever she made me beg for it, like truly beg her lol. She was really reveling in her power. It’s been surreal pleasuring her with a toy or oral and staying locked knowing she’s not going to let you out. Anytime I’ve ever pleasured her in the past my belt has always come off after she O’s… not anymore :)

    I asked her several times in the past, like years ago to make me go for longer because I never felt locked long enough to really illicit those deep submissive feelings more strict chastity can give you. So for the first time since starting chastity she’s really made me want to have an O versus the desire to want to hold out longer. She is actually making me wait longer than I ever have on top of pleasuring her when there’s time. I truly got what I wished for and while I’m loving it I’m also like “oh wait I liked my weekly sex” lol.

    I don’t think my belt has been off long enough to equate to a full 24 hours this year and it’s almost April! There’s like an emotional tug of war that excites me about my life but also part of me misses the frequent PIV sex she allowed me to have with her. In one light is was definitely very enjoyable every time. In another light the lessened frequency has made me appreciate and savor it more seeing it as much more special. Also, even though I’ve always loved pleasuring her whether it be oral or whatever means, now while I’m kept locked and knowing I’m going to stay locked just makes me never want to stop giving her head. I’m genuinely sad when she tells me to stop and has had enough. I have an insatiable appetite and just want my face to be between her legs all the time.

    So no, there’s no regrets, just more of an amazement of how fantasy has slowly shifted to reality.
     
    ugams and true42 like this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice