My Sub Thought His Punishment Didn't Fit His Crime .. thoughts pls

Who are you saying that about?
I hope it isn’t me.

My comments have been my opinion and not once did I say anyone was doing anything wrong. I disagreed with a sub I think is disrespecting their dominant. If their dynamic let’s him act that way it’s their business. But when someone calls me a phony and says I don’t know what I’m talking about then I’m going to stand up for myself.

I’ve stated I believe in female supremacy and that I feel a sub o and especially a slave need to do as told. Not complain about a punishment. And sure as hell not get on the internet and complain.I’ve yet to meet any dominant that would tolerate it. The UN or slave would be history.

But that’s my experience in 20+ years of real life experience. But what do I know. And fyi I’m probably the longest active member here. If anyone from the original group is here I want to know.

 

I wasn't pointing at you, but your doing a pretty good job of that yourself. My point is that we are all at different stages. Yes, there are some common goals for Domme and sub, but it is an evolutionary journey, and not everyone is in the same place. It is discouraging when more experienced member are so judgemental.

 

To err is human. To forgive is not.

 

The actual quote is "To err is human, to forgive is divine" but you knew that. Lol.

Personally, as a heathen, I think forgiveness is a human trait, and nothing to do with the divine.

 

But how difficult is it too forgive? Even for doing mixed proverbs and mixed metaphors. When you have a partner than can, then there's magic

 

Where was I being judgemenal?

I asked if you were aiming comments at me to not no what you did.

I also made general comments. Most of which actually agrees with you. Some doesn’t.

Maybe instead of attacking me you should try and engage in mature conversation. If you aren’t sure of what I’m saying, try asking for clarification. You might find I can offer an awful lot.

Sadly too many come online and don’t get that us old timers aren’t about the One Twue Way. Rather we want to share what we’ve learned over the years.

As I’ve said, my comments are my opinions. I offer them based on experience and living this for a long time in the real word.

 

If he feels the punishment didn’t fit the crime, perhaps he could take the initiative to write an essay about the purpose of punishments and what he feels would be a more effective way to discipline him?

 

I don’t think he had any place to complain, he disobeyed you and he was punished for it. He should be thankful you were so easy going on him!

 

You know what I read here:

Domme: I punished my sub. Was I too harsh.
Most domes/subs: You were right.
Dissenting sub: I think you were too harsh.
Most: She’s not wrong. You’re wrong.
Dissenting sub: She asked a question about wether she was wrong or right, I think she was wrong.
Domme: You’re wrong.
Most Domme/sub: Yeah your wrong.

Me watching all this and the thought going through my head: you know they can be both wrong and right in different ways right?

My concern is that long term estim play at very high levels can have permanent damaging side effects regardless of how well your sub took it. Some people would say that’s an irresponsible amount of time and a mistake on both parties. The sub for blindly agreeing to a severe punishment with What I’d assume would be no chance for a safe word and the Domme for inflicting that length of time at such a high level. I’ve played with estim devices and they have serious complications and side effects associated with their use even when using them properly and though a calculated risk having electrical burns inside your body can be really a dangerous thing and that’s from an objective place of judgement. To put this into perspective when the hospital uses electrical stimulation with men in a surgical procedure to get semen in cases where men cannot for whatever reason ejaculate normally due to a medical condition it is usually administered under sedation…so yeah. You can look that one up if you want.

You cannot expect to come onto a public forum and get all pats on the back or all affirmatives that you did the right thing because someone is gonna think you didn’t and the fact that you or anyone else would attack the person seeking to give you that opinion is irresponsible because if someone saw a problem with it and brought it up, congratulations, you got what you asked for. This is going to sound rude but you basically played scientific method and found out that your hypothesis might be wrong and instead of investigating that try to reprove your hypothesis which is the exact opposite of what the scientific method is supposed to do. Fact the scientific method seeks to disprove your hypothesis and find the facts of whatever you’re testing. What you’re testing is if what you did was the right decision. It’s obvious you had trepidation about your decision making or overwise why are we having this conversation UNLESS you were only seeking validation in which that’s fine but your opening post is objectively misleading because your questions don’t give off that impression.

Now how the rest of their conversation is likely to go:

me: you might just both be wrong…
Most domes/subs: You’re wrong. I reject your reality and substitute my own.
Me: It’s very difficult to change the fabric of reality and all of this is playtime is that. Chastity ain’t likely paying your bills or keeping the roof over your head even if it is helping your relationships…reality check done.
Most Domme/subs: You’re wrong. I decide my own reality.
Me: You’re entitled to your opinion as wrong as that opinion may or may not be.

Let the lambasting begin.

 

The reality is - the punishment should be consensual. You two should to communicate and establish a list of punishments, which he will accept.

 

Who's next?

 

You are reframing the question.
The question was the punishment to harsh. The consensus is that it’s her prerogative as to what the punishment should be and how harsh.

Now you’re point is that she may have been making him do something unsafe. That may or may not be true. But it’s not the same question.

So I’d say instead of hijacking this thread why not post with the question asked like what should happen if a Domme demands an unsafe punishment? Or how to discuss a punishment that could be unsafe?

Do you see the difference?

oh and I actually like your post. I just think it needs to be its own discussion.

 

…Thank you for proving my point Tom…

 

Or that he was pushing her to do something equal or greater than that " punishment ", in other words, a SAM move.

 

...or, making a SAM type of comment to push her for more "punishment" . lol

 

I doubt that. Based on his post and his reaction it seems he really felt it was too harsh. I could be wrong. But I doubt it.

 

no.
I’m saying your post is a tangent and deserves a separate discussion

 

Tell him to stop whingeing, You are his Mistress and what you decide is the final word. My Mistress, just yesterday caned my arse with Bamboo cane well over 200 strokes most delivered as hard as she could. The reason was I didnt answer her questions correctly with the right tone. Not once during the punishment was I allowed to complain or show pain . Yes this taught me a valuable lesson, if anything you have been too lenient on him.

 

Wisdom

 

Wisdommm

 

Always right mistress

 

You are the best