How do mistresses deal with pullout possibility (No PA etc)?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Funkswitch, Mar 17, 2022.

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  1. Funkswitch
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    Funkswitch Member

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    I was wondering.. how do others deal with the fact that Subs are able to pullout from the chastity if PA or other measures are not applied? We're looking for a solution so I won't dare to even try. Thanks for your help!
     
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  2. Guest 2628
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    Guest 2628 Long term member

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    She needs to make the consequences for trying that so severe that you wont dare risk it. In my case I very much doubt I could do that, though I've never seriously tried.
    If you're straight, sending you to a male dom to be well caned by him would be one example. It depends on what you do and dont enjoy. If youre a pain slut CP isnt punishment, if youre not it is
     
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  3. true42
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    I just tell my wife when I do it (traveling, to clean), and never lie about it.

    A PA and a good custom cage would probably work better, but there's no way she's giving up sex for long enough for a PA to heal!
     
  4. Guest 2628
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    Guest 2628 Long term member

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    LMAO!!
     
  5. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    Correction: SHE doesn't give up sex, it's YOU that give up sex. Besides, it's 4-6 weeks, even a super horny couple can avoid PIV for that!
     
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  6. true42
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    Nope. I can now probably go for longer than she can -- something I never thought I'd say! (And I still wish that I were having sex or jerking off a few times a day. Ah, the things we will give up for a woman.)

    Edit: Unlike a lot of people here, oral sex is just not an option. She refuses to even consider it. And she wants nothing to do with a vibrator, either. She really likes (my) cock. Hard (no pun intended) to complain about that.
     
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  7. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    It is possible for me to pull out in the shower, soaped up, but I’d never be able to shove it back in. My Wife knows I could do this, however she flat out said if I cheat, she’s done being my keyholder. Lately, I am pretty sure she’d beat my ass with her canes and tawse as well lol
    While the thought of my Wife forcing me to get a PA is terrifying and a total turn on, she does not care for piercings of the penis and would never do that to me. Plus she for sure wouldn’t go that long without piv, and a bull is not an option either, our mild swinging days are long gone.
    So it’s a trust thing for us and I won’t betray her no matter how insanely horny I get.
     
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  8. Funkswitch
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    Thanks all! We'll discuss a punishment that's fun for her / not fun for me so I will never try. Sure I will always be honest
     
  9. Tarknassus
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    Tarknassus Wordy chastity nerdery.

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    This. The threat of EVERYTHING coming to an end because I screw up the trust I built with my wife in her being my KH is enough for me to not do it. It's pretty much the only thing that is not punishable by "conventional" means, but resorting to the nuclear option.

    Plus, my wife would know instantly from my change in demeanour if I managed to cheat like this.
     
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  10. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    I'm with you. I got slammed by someone in another thread because they were bitching about a punishment being too harsh. I said it was too mild. And they went off on me. Frankly I hope they get even worse for posting "dirty laundry" and complaining about their Domme in public. I know that the Domme's I've been with wouldn't tolerate that and would be done with the sub.

    And you're right the punishment needs to be harsh and a reminder not to break the rules.

    It's ironic that some of the most harsh punishments I've seen are the ones that don't involved pain or suffering. Being ignored for a month was pretty brutal for a friend. But as you said, each needs to find what works for them. I've felt my worse after not being punished. OMG that was a mind fuck. The look of disappointment and not even making a punishment was hard.

    Anyway, to the original question. A good Mistress trains her sub to obey her. The sub learns that they're expected to do as instructed. They're also taught that "not knowing isn't acceptable. And that they need to respect Mistress. And doing things that Mistress doesn't approve of is not respecting her.

    So initially it may be mild punishment. Then more harsh. then other things like the look I posted about above. As she figures out the subs buttons she'll use what works.

    That said, just Don't pull out. And if you think you will then you need to discuss it and look into other options. And this from a guy who fears the PA but has scheduled it !
     
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  11. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    Honestly, complete obedience should be the rule at all times, and corporal punishment handed out for all but menial infractions. But that's how *I* think it should go, and what best fits my dynamic. But I don't make the rules.

    Every FLR has different rules, and dynamics, and those are set by the Domme. She should set the tone and the rules, not the submissive.
     
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  12. Funkswitch
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    Agree with that. Thanks for your interesting insights. One challenge we have however, is that as might have been assumed - my KH / girlfriend is not a pure Domme. She likes it, gets a bit nastier when the cage is on, but doesn't enjoy rough punishments (although I would enjoy long term bondage). However, it is not about enjoying for this part.

    I guess we just need to discuss this some day :)
     
  13. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    Communication is vital. Also realize this is an evolution. Take things a day at a time and have fun. If you're not both having a good time and enjoying it then it won't work. Now we all get enjoyment different ways. So that's part of the fun of exploring and trying things!

    Doing so will help you figure out what works for the two of you!
     
  14. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    when i was first put in a cage Mistress sayed if i try and take it off me then i will have to go back to Spain and live so i dint take try and take it off.
     
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  15. Guest 2628
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    If it isnt unpleasant how can it be punishment?
    Caning a masochist who gets off on pain isnt a punishment but refusing to do CP on them for a period of time, if thats what they crave, might be.
    I was once made to kneel, naked, beside the bed and hold a posture kneeling, legs wide, back straight and arms held out straight in front of me. I had to hold that pose for 20 mins. After four or five it was already extremely difficult. No CP, no canes, no touching me at all. She set a web cam up in front of me, retired to the lounge and barked at me through the cam every time my arms flagged. THAT was something I never want to repeat! It modified my behaviour and improved my attitude which was the aim.
     
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  16. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    Exactly. My former Domme made one of her other subs do something similar except he had to do it in a pan of rice. Omg the poor thing was in so much pain.
     
  17. Guest 6019
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    Pulling out the back is a "No no" psychologically I can't do it. Although it falls out after a bath, with my HT, I didn't do it, and stuff it back in.
     
  18. Guest 2628
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    Guest 2628 Long term member

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    Need a different cage. That just shouldn't happen if your cage fits properly.
     
  19. Lucy Pink
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    Lucy Pink Lucy Pink Owned sissy

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    There are some interesting comments here, but my feelings are the punishment must always be the decision of the Mistress.

    My Mistress likes her canes and some of them really hurt and i have had 2 really serious punishments since i have served her. But my point is if Mistress enjoys a particular punishment. it doesn't matter whether her slave enjoys it or not.

    To me punishments are something i do my best not to put myself in a position where i earn a punishment. This is partly because i don't want to upset my Mistress and i feel i have let her down if i have been a bad girl. However i also realise that i can be punished for no reason other than Mistress wants to punish me and that is a perfectly valid reason for a punishment to be administered.

    I have had times when blood was inadvertently drawn and the punishment session ended immediately at that point. The Wound is treated and the punishment is suspended. Possibly to be continued at a later time.

    The truth is i am human and prone to making mistakes and She can always find a reason to punish me if she really wants to. I think we both understand this.

    I think surrender to my owner is the most important thing. My only request of my owner was that she take total control of me and she has done exactly what i have asked of her and i have no complaints. The training of course never stops and is ongoing and I have never argued with her about a punishment it is her decision not mine and I just submit as and when ordered to do so. IMG_1695.JPG
     
  20. Guest 2628
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    Well said and absolutely as it should be
     
  21. madams-sissysub
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    This is why my madam insists on spikes!
     
  22. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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  23. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    Not a punishment but in the category of "certainty of being caught" my Queen uses a long-term lipstick applicator to draw on my frenum. It won't come off in the shower if my penis is in the cage (even after weeks), but will smear immediately if I manage to play with myself even once.

    I would encourage any woman who's man tells her he doesn't masturbate to try this!
     
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  24. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    This, the nuclear punishment. If she took my cage and refused to engage I'd be totally lost. I could never risk this.
     
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  25. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    I would say the question is rather about dom AND sub handling the pullout question - not the dominant alone.

    And if you are really submissive to your parter I really do not see the sense of this question. Yes, pullout might still be possible - so it is kind honour ystem just with some kinky gadget added... so what ? Just find some hounour an act on it or leave the chastity part be if you are not really interested in it.
     
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